Our Story
by JoeyStar
Summary: After the events of "Rikku's Story", Rikku and Gippal negotiate the tricky early stages of a new relationship, while the shadow of an old threat begins to emerge and threatens to plunge Spira into a destructive civil war ... Rikku/Gippal
1. Prologue: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** The only major change in the style of this story is that I am planning to write from both Rikku and Gippal's perspectives this time (hence the title) and there will be a much greater focus on their relationship.

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**Our Story**

_Prologue: Rikku_

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Everybody has their stories.

You know, the events that change and shape their lives. That influence their daily actions; that make them into the people they are today. Stories are what make the world go round. If there were no stories, life would just stop.

Spira's like a giant archive if you think about it. Filled with millions of people from a variety of different races, all who have a story to tell. Some are simple: they found what they were looking for or they achieved a particular goal that had been set for them. And some, like the ones that I've been part of, have a little more to do with saving the world.

As for my own story … well that's all over now. As trite as it sounds, experiencing my story showed me what my life had been lacking and heck, I even managed to save Spira along the way.

Not bad for a few weeks work, you know?

I don't mean to sound so flippant because the situation _was_ serious but … well I guess you could call that my 'coping mechanism'. I've always been a humour kind of girl; it seems better to laugh at something than to cry about it. Besides, if I didn't then I think I would have gone mad years ago, especially considering everything I've seen.

A giant impenetrable monster set on destroying the world.

A heartsick, twisted spirit set on punishing the world.

And an Al Bhed, consumed by misplaced hatred, set on obtaining his revenge against Gippal, through the world.

And do you know what the weird thing is? Of the three archenemies I've faced in Tidus's story, Yuna's and my own … it's Lreav that I still find the hardest to cope with; the hardest to talk and even think about.

Maybe it's because the pain and damage he caused is still so recent. I mean, the rebuilding projects have only just got underway in Guadosalam and Kilika and every time I tune into the media channels on the CommSphere networks, there are fresh pictures of the destruction, or yet another harrowing tale of a family that's been ripped apart.

Or maybe it's because it was more personal this time. Sure, facing Sin had become personal by the end – what with it being Tidus's dad and all – but it was still meant more to Tidus thanit had to me.And Shuyin and Vegnagun; they were certainly more personal for Yunie than for me – despite the fact that Vegnagun was a dirty great machina that some stupid Al Bhed should have _really _have kept to themselves …

But the situation with Lreav? The situation with Lreav is … _was_ personal. He made the effort to get to know me when we first met and thanks to all the problems I was having with Gippal at the time, we became very close, very quickly. He became me friend, my confidante and I was soon telling him things I even held back from Yunie and Paine. At the time he was everything I needed and I really came to appreciate him. Spira, I even loved him in some way. It never crossed my mind that he could be manipulating me the whole time.

Just the thought of that makes me _so _angry. Lreav didn't _have _to get to know me; he didn't _have _to become my friend. He could have remained aloof, like Elhandra, and his plans could still have come to fruition. But no, he had to make sure I was on his side, that I would never in a million years suspect him before it was too late.

He took my good nature for granted. He used me and then discarded me. And _that's_ what made it so personal.

You know, just thinking about it makes me _so _mad. It's so hard to try and move on after everything that has happened. I know I should; after all, my story's come to a resounding end and this limbo I'm currently living in can't last forever. It's just, well, I guess things are kind of safe here … if not exactly idealistic.

Take the budding relationship that has quickly become the centre of my world. Well, despite all my efforts, things between Gippal and me have been … difficult recently. I had this whole romanticised idea that once we'd caught Lreav then everything would somehow become perfect. We'd ride off into the sunset on a golden chocobo and all the problems that had perpetrated the early stages of our relationship would be completely forgotten.

Talk about naïve.

Without the whole 'saving-the-world-and-rescuing-Gippal' going on, those problems have come back full force. When we aren't arguing over something completely trivial, there are these horribly awkward silences that neither of us can seem to break. It would be funny if it weren't so frustrating; after all, I'm not exactly known for my ability to keep my mouth shut, you know?

Suffice to say it's hardly the domestic bliss I've been looking for. Along with wreaking havoc across Spira, Lreav has managed to fairly screw up things for me and Gippal as well. Just when we should be getting closer and exploring the changing status of our relationship, we're drifting further and further apart.

Gippal's a lot quieter nowadays … in fact, sometimes I think I don't recognise him at all as the cocky, arrogant guy I met all those months ago at the Djose Temple. I _know _he's still grieving for Lreav and I can even understand it because in some ways, I am too. But he's changed beyond that, and I don't think it's all been for the better. For one thing, he's been so angry since Kilika – and not all of his anger is directed towards Lreav. Sometimes I'm the unlucky recipient of his ire – leading to either one of our spectacular rows or the icy silence I'm beginning to know so well. I'm not completely sure why he's so angry with me – am I really that irritating? – but I think it has to do with how I'm always trying to get him to open up and talk about Lreav. I know he doesn't want to but honestly, internalising your emotions is a _bad _idea. It's _always _better to talk about things otherwise you let everything build up inside and then you fly apart … _BANG_!

So far my methods haven't exactly been working. I've tried not to push him too hard but I guess subtly isn't exactly my strong point. Oh, who am I kidding? I _suck _at being subtle. Maybe I should just leave him alone but to be honest, I don't know what else to do.

I know I love him. I'm certain of it now. But in the face of all the problems we've been having … well, I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing the right thing by pursuing this relationship. Perhaps it would be better if we had some time apart – time to cope with everything that has happened and come to terms with Lreav's betrayal …

No! I can't believe that now that my story's over, a separation is what's supposed to happen. I can't even believe I entertained the thought; it's completely ridiculous, you know? I'm not going to give Gippal up – not after all I went through to finally get him!

He's just going to have to put up with me … and I with him. After all, that's what relationships are all about, right? Compromise.

We'll work it out. And who knows, maybe we'll even make some kind of story out of it.

'Gippal and Rikku's Story' … or how about, 'Our Story'?

_Our _story … hmm … can we even have a dual story?

Guess we'll just have to wait and see!


	2. Chapter One: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** I've updated the format and presentation of my chapters – hope everyone likes the new look!

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Our Story

_Chapter One: Gippal_

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I don't think I've ever been in love before.

There've been girls certainly – I'm not some kind of innocent. Before I joined the Crimson Squad there were _plenty _of girls. I mean, they've always been an interest of mine and I've always seemed to have been one of theirs. And hey, Al Bhed girls grow up pretty fast … but let's just say that I wasn't the most popular guy with the collective fathers on Bikanel. They all seemed to think I was more interested in single-handedly repopulating the island than spending my time tinkering with random pieces of machina, like a good little Al Bhed should do.

What can I say? Sure, machina is interesting but so are girls. Is it _my _fault that they find me devastatingly attractive?

Well … all of them bar Rikku, I guess. I mean, we grew up together sure, but she was never one of those girls who spent all their time trying to impress me. In fact, as far as I can remember, she never really noticed me at all. I knew her of course – she _was _our leader's daughter – but back then she was always more interested in pulling a piece of machina apart than trying to impress me.

Come to think of it, she never really gave me the time of day.

That _really _used to piss me off.

I can't remember when I stopped seeing her as 'Cid's girl' and really noticed that she had turned into a seriously cute young woman. Certainly it was before the situation with Lreav began, maybe as far back as when bumped into each other at Djose Temple while she was with the Gullwings. I mean, what with her being a Guardian and me joining the Crimson Squad, I hadn't seen her in years. And suddenly, there she was, standing in front of me and we were back to arguing like nothing had changed.

But some things had.

We weren't kids anymore. I wasn't as arrogant and self-obsessed as I had been – though I don't think Rikku would agree with me there – and she wasn't as inwardly focused. In fact, she seemed so much more alive, more real, than I had remembered; which, thinking about it, was probably a result of saving the world. I've heard it does wonders for you.

We still didn't agree on anything but for me at least, the previous animosity had faded. When she left the temple I found myself wishing I could have gone with her and when necessity threw us together again I was pleased to see her, not irritated by her presence.

It wasn't love. I don't think it was even attraction – at least, not at first. For me, it was more curiosity. I mean, here was this kid who was apparently impervious to my charm and didn't think twice about telling me exactly what she thought of me – how could I not be interested? And then she turned into this fantastic looking girl … I'd not be a guy if I didn't admit this was one of the turning points for me.

Then we beat Vegnagun and there were those endless parties that my so called 'friends' kept dragging me too and I thought, _Hey, here's an opportunity. Me and Rikku in the same place for hours on end …_

Of course, I hadn't counted on Lreav.

Nor the fact that my mere presence seemed to make Rikku reach for her knives. She was soon making a concerted effort to avoid me and it became a game; me pushing as many of her buttons as I could while still keeping a firm grip on my life, and her furiously plotting her revenge.

You know, I don't think she ever realised there was genuine interest there, in amongst all our insults. And not just on my side. Looking back it was like we were involved in this elaborate dance, the rules to which we both seemed to intrinsically understand. Who knows how long it would have continued if she hadn't left the party in Bevelle and I hadn't followed her.

Who knew if we'd still be alive. Sometimes I still can't believe how lucky we were that none of our friends were killed. Phoenix Downs are great but even they have limits.

It's ironic but in some ways I have the situation Lreav created to thank for breaking the impasse between me and Rikku. If we'd been left to our own devices we probably would have killed each other before admitting that we might actually like each other. Lreav's actions forced us to begin to acknowledge something we could have gone on ignoring for years.

But what exactly is that something?

Friendship.

Attraction.

Love …

Is that it? Am I in love with Rikku? Does the fact that I don't know mean I'm not?

It's all so confusing. I've never been in love before so how in Spira am I suppose to know if this is what it feels like? If this is the 'real thing' that everyone's always babbling on about?

Damn, I never thought the falling in love could be so complicated.

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_It's finally over._

The last investigation had been concluded, the documents had been carefully filed away and the case was officially being closed. While Spira would be feeling the effects for months, and maybe even years to come, we could start putting the whole damn mess behind us at last.

_It's finally over … so why don't I feel reassured?_

Maybe because some part of me still felt completely responsible. I mean, if it hadn't been for that accident when I was younger, then none of those people whose names were plastered across the media channels would have died. Children wouldn't have lost their parents and husbands wouldn't have lost their wives.

A deadly cocktail of self-pity and guilt swam up inside of me and I made no effort to push it aside, too wearied by everything that had happened in the last several weeks. It really was all my fault if you stopped and thought about it for long enough. I'd known Lreav since we were both children; how in Spira's name had I missed the fact that he hated my guts? Then there was the Machine Faction; Lreav had been working in close proximity with me for months. If I'd just taken the time to talk to him a little more, then maybe I could have prevented all the destruction he caused and the lives he stole. Looking back there had been so many opportunities; moments when something about him had struck me as a little strange, when the odd misplaced comment would reach my ears … why hadn't I done anything? I'd been blinded by the fact that I had considered Lreav to be a good friend and Spira had paid the price for my failure.

_At least now it's finally over._

The thought provided me with little comfort. It didn't change anything that had happened. It didn't make it any less my fault. Besides, the actual event might have come to an end but I was damn sure there were plenty of people in Spira for who the nightmare wasn't going to end anytime soon.

Was I really any different?

Light footsteps behind me interrupted my black musings, drawing my thoughts back from the precipice they had been so dangerously dangling over. Grateful for the distraction from my overactive mind, I turned my attention firmly on the newcomer.

"Hey."

Even before she'd spoken I'd known who it was and my heartbeat had quickened accordingly. There was just something so individualistic about her movement; the way she almost danced when she walked, it was like no one I'd ever known before.

"Hey."

She joined me at the rail, the familiar fruity scent of her hair invading my senses. I glanced at her out of the corner of my good eye and found that she was staring out across Luca as I had been only moments before. She was dressed in her trademark shorts and boots but over the top of the yellow bikini I was used to seeing, she had slung a dark green jacket. This was complimented by a green bandana that had taken the place of her usual blue one and was, as usual, failing to keep her unruly blonde hair out of her eyes.

You know, it was her eyes that first interested me. I know that's not a very manly thing to say – it should have been her trim figure or her … _assets_ … but hey, what's the point in lying? Sure, Rikku's pretty damn cute, there's no denying that but she's got this special sparkle in those huge green eyes of hers.

Or at least … she used to have. Come to think of it, I haven't seen that sparkle for a while. Huh, it's funny to think that she seemed happier – more alive – when we were fighting and carrying on the pretence that we hated each other, rather than … whatever we feel for each other today.

The word 'love' floated irritatingly through my mind and I pushed it firmly aside, resolutely deciding that spending too much time alone with my thoughts was a dangerous thing.

The silence between us was growing – and it wasn't one of those comfortable silences that neither person really minds. No, there was a definite awkward edge there; in the way I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and the way Rikku leaned forward and rested her forehead on the palm of her hand with a quiet sigh.

Suddenly being alone with my thoughts didn't seem quite so bad.

I wanted to say something to her, I really did, but the distance between us seemed as wide as the Ronso mountains of Gagazet and equally impossible to traverse. I phrased pathetic platitudes in my mind but every time I opened my mouth they got stuck somewhere in the region of my throat and all that came out was a gust of air.

Rikku must have thought I was having some kind of breathing problem; I was gasping like a wounded Sagahin.

For once my mind, so full of painful memories only moments before, was completely empty of ideas and inspiration. I just couldn't think of anything to say.

I couldn't understand it – where had this awkwardness come from? Me and Rikku had certainly had no problem expressing our feelings in the past. In fact, all the insults and arguments aside, she was actually the person I had felt most at ease with – back before this whole mess had started. I'd always known where I stood with Rikku.

Suddenly that had changed. Now I craved to know what she was thinking, worried that I didn't, and found myself desperately uncertain about everything in my life regarding Rikku. On top of struggling to cope with Lreav's betrayal and my own guilt, I felt like I was going to explode.

A rush of irritation surged through me, inspired by my own frustration at my inability to cope with this situation. Irrationally I began to direct it at the girl beside me, my private, inner emotions bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

I knew what she was going to say any minute now – she was going to ask me how I was feeling, just as she had done the last twelve times we'd been in this same situation. It's what the awkward silences always lead up to, plunging us into the same tired old conversation that I was completely _sick_ of having.

Rikku wanted me to 'open up' and 'talk about my feelings'. She'd told me that Lreav had hurt her too and we could get through it together. To be honest, at this moment – and indeed all the previous times we'd had this conversation – I wasn't feeling very inclined to appease her. I didn't _want _to discuss my feelings; frankly, I've never understood the female obsession with it. Does it make things better? No. It just makes everyone else perfectly aware of your embarrassingly fragile emotional and mental state, and then you get laboured with all of those hushed voices and sickeningly sympathetic words.

Glowering, I waited for the inevitable question to rear its ugly head again. I was disappointed; the silence continued to stretch between us broken only by the sound of Rikku sighing again. It was such a desolate sound that it brought me back to myself with a jolt. I was being a total jerk. None of this was Rikku's fault – she was just suffering from the misfortune of actually caring what happened to me. She was worried about me and probably with good reason. It wasn't as if I'd really been myself recently.

The silence between us had stretched to embarrassing proportions. I knew if I didn't say something soon then she'd probably turn and walk away … and to my surprise I found that I really didn't want her to do that.

But what to say?

"How's Yuna?" I blurted at long last, some vague memory at the back of my mind informing me that Rikku had just come from a meeting with her cousin. This, then, was a safe topic to start with.

There was a brief pause in which Rikku dragged her eyes away from their inspection of the distant city of Luca and looked up at me. She looked tired; her eyes were dull and there were faint lines on her face as if she had been frowning a lot recently.

At my question she smiled, a little wanly. "She's fine. Tired, but fine. I mean, she's still got a lot of work to do but I think she's relieved the investigation side of things is finally over."

"She's not the only one."

"Yeah. It'll be good to be able to get on with our lives again, won't it?"

Her attempt at being light-hearted fell flat and I found myself staring blankly at her, wondering at her words. As much as I wanted to agree with her, I knew too many things had changed for me to just slip easily back into my old life. Just thinking about the business with Lreav left a sour taste in my mouth and the heavy weight of guilt in my heart – I pushed both feelings aside with difficulty. I had to stop getting so wrapped up in my own thoughts; the conversation had faltered again without my even noticing.

This time it was Rikku who broke the impasse between us, her voice quiet but no less intense than normal.

"So … what are you going to do now?"

Finally, a question I could answer without having to struggle for the right words. "Go back to the Machine Faction, I guess. Spira knows they've been without a leader for long enough." Someone the idea didn't hold as much of my interest as it once had. Maybe after the whole business with Vegnagun, and then with Lreav … well maybe I'd come too far now to simply go back.

And then, of course, there was Rikku …

"What about you?" I asked abruptly, suddenly curious about the answer.

She stiffened and I got the impression that something about my question had bothered her. "Urm … I … I'm not sure. I …" she trailed off and walked her fingers along the rail. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."

It was weird; my question seemed to really have thrown Rikku and she appeared unusually uncertain. She kept darting sneaky glances at me when she thought I wasn't looking, as if she was waiting for me to do or say something. It was kinda irritating actually – did she expect me to be some kind of mind reader?

"What?" I demanded after several moments had passed and her fingers still hadn't ceased their restless dance.

Rikku jumped and spun to face me, her emerald eyes as round as saucers. "N-nothing!" she spluttered.

"Rikku, you're as jumpy as an Iguion. Somethin's up."

"I just – I just haven't thought much about the future, okay?" She stressed the word 'future' as if it was particularly significant.

I stared blankly at her. Was she doing this on purpose, just to annoy me? What was it about women that denied them the ability to come out and say what they actually meant? Were they taught to hedge around subjects from birth?

"You could always go back to the Gullwings," I offered finally, my mind settling on this as an acceptable suggestion. After all, _I _was planning to return to what I'd been doing before the Vegnagun incident – it stood to reason that Rikku would as well.

Apparently Rikku wasn't as pleased with this idea as I had thought. She drew away from the rail and the look she shot me was such a mixture of emotions that I had trouble deciphering it. The principle impression I got from her was that I had upset and disappointed her somehow, but for the life of me I couldn't work out why.

"It'll be comfortin' to do somethin' you're used to," I tried again.

"It would also be good to do something _new_ and _different_," Rikku returned pointedly, watching me carefully. "Something I've _never done before_."

I wasn't stupid; I could sense the double meaning in her words. The only problem was I had no idea just what that double meaning was and every time I opened my mouth I only seemed to make things worse.

"Yeah, that could be good too," I said quickly, seeking to appease her. Hoping she might just come out and say what she wanted, I added innocently, "Did you have anythin' in particular in mind?"

Rikku stared at me with that same funny look on her face. "Oh for –" she cut herself off and threw her hands up in the air, utter frustration in her eyes. "I give up!"

"Rikku?" The words had been addressed to the air but I got the distinct feeling they were directed at me.

"Oh, forget it." All her earlier nervousness and gentle words were gone. Now she just seemed disappointed … in me.

Now this was the Rikku I was used to.

"I'm going to my cabin," she told me without preamble, moving away from the rail before I could stop her. It never occurred to me to ask why she still considered a cabin on my ship to be hers when our adventure was over; instead I simply stood dumbly and watched as she walked across the bridge and disappeared through the door.

I was missing something here; I was missing something _big_. And for whatever reason, the fact that Rikku was obviously upset with me bothered me more than I cared to admit. Suddenly all of my own problems seemed miniscule compared to the importance of Rikku's happiness.

_So what have I done _this _time?_

This question seemed a prudent place to start. I mean, I'd obviously done or said something that had pissed her off and seeing as our conversation had hardly been sparkling it should be easy to work out where I had gone wrong. I was fairly certain my comment about Yuna had nothing to do with it – there was no way she could have taken offence from that, surely? No – that really would be ridiculous. Which meant it must have been something after that, but all I'd asked was what she was going to do now that the business with Lreav was over, and she'd said …

_Oh_.

I slapped my hand against my forehead – hard. How could I have missed it? Rikku had started acting strangely straight after I'd asked that immortal question! Of course – this was all to do with 'the future'!

As soon as the conclusion came to me, I began to feel uncertain again. Even though I'd successfully identified the problem, I still wasn't entirely certain what Rikku wanted from me – or even what I'd done wrong. Was it so crazy to assume she'd return to the Gullwings now that everything was getting back to normal?

Apparently so. But if Rikku didn't want to rejoin Paine and her cousin, what in Spira's name _did _she want?

I stared at the doorway through which Rikku had left the bridge and unbidden, an answer formed in my mind:

_She wants to stay with you._

As soon as the words had struck me, I knew them to be true. Spira knows how – it certainly wasn't something that had occurred to me beforehand. It wasn't that I didn't want to see more of Rikku, spend more time with her; it's just … well I guess I just assumed she'd leave.

But if she wanted to stay … wait – was she expecting me to _ask _her? Was that what the previous painful charade had been about?

_She wants to stay with me_.

The realisation was startling. What was equally surprising was the vague feeling that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea if Rikku _did_ return with me to Djose Temple. I hadn't seen it before but the thought of parting from her was strangely unpleasant. I guessed it was a feature of our changing relationship … was this what love felt like?

Before I knew what I was doing, I was striding across the empty bridge, slapping the door-pad and waiting impatiently as the door slid ponderously open. In my head I was forming the words I would say to Rikku. I wanted her to come with me to the temple, but equally, I didn't want to seem overly eager. I'd be cool, calm and collected; my tone would be offhand, as if it was something I'd come up with on the spur of the moment. After all, appearances are important and I've got a reputation to think about, you know?

The door slid open and I stepped through, so deep in thought that I almost walked straight into the figure on the other side. Stumbling backwards to avoid a collision, I raised my head and recognised –

"Rikku?"

The girl in question swept her mass of coiled braids from her face and regained her balance. Her face was flushed but whether that was due to embarrassment at our collision or something else, I wasn't sure.

"What are you doin' out here?" I asked, thinking that she must have been taking minute steps if she was still heading towards her cabin.

"I was – I was just …" Her cheeks darkened even further. "I was just on the way to my cabin."

She was lying but I let it pass. After all, I'd been coming to find her and it didn't really matter where our conversation took place.

"Um … did you want something?" she asked after few more moments had passed and I still hadn't spoken.

Inwardly I berated myself. _Be cool, be calm and be collected,_ I thought firmly. _You're just asking her to come with you to Djose. It's not like you're making a commitment or anything …_

"Er – yeah. I wanted to ask you – I wanted to ask you somethin'."

_Real smooth, Gippal_, I thought, inwardly cringing at how clumsy my words sounded.

Rikku tipped her head to one side, waiting. The disappointed look in her eyes was shifting into something much more hopeful.

I couldn't meet her gaze and so chose to stare fixedly at a spot just beyond her left ear. It was pathetic how I could stand firm in the face of a huge world-destroying machina and be reduced to a quivering wreck by a lithe, green-eyed girl. When had she gained this power of me? And why hadn't I noticed until now?

I gathered my remaining wits together and attempted to fix a confident smile on my face. "I was – I was thinkin' about what you said. About what happens now."

Rikku's gaze sought mine expectantly.

"And I was wonderin' …" _Just say it!_ "I was wonderin' if you maybe – if you're not doin' anythin' else that is … if you maybe wanna come back to Djose Temple … with me."

It wasn't cool, it wasn't calm and it certainly wasn't collected but it had finally been said and I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I felt like I just played a Sphere Break match against Shinra – although not having heard the answer yet, I wasn't sure whether I'd lost or won.

The expression on Rikku's face instantly reassured me. She was smiling, albeit a little nervously and it was the first time she'd looked happy in days.

"I'd like that," she said simply, reaching out hesitantly and taking my hand, cradling it between her two small ones. At first I stiffened at her unexpected touch but slowly I relaxed and even went so far as to lace my fingers through hers.

We remained like that for some time; simply standing quietly and enjoying each other's company. There was a silence there but the awkwardness was gone, replaced with a comfortable familiarity that I was coming to associated with my feelings for Rikku. It wasn't love – not quite – but somehow I knew it _could _be.

Only time would tell.


	3. Chapter Two: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Just a quick note to say thanks to everyone who hasf reviewed so far. I read each and every review and seriously consider the opinions I have been offered. Glad to know you're all enjoying this new story and I hope you'll continue to let me know what you think as it progresses ; )

This chapter is dedicated to all my British readers, especially those in or around London. I hope you're all okay.

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**Our Story**

_Chapter Two: Rikku_

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Arriving back at Djose Temple, it was like nothing had changed.

The familiar spiral of rocks and lightning still enveloped the building, twisting and twirling around each other in the endless dance they been participating in since the temple's construction, Spira knows _how _many years before. The dig centre's doors were open and a queue of eager applicants were waiting patiently. There were even practically the same groups of Al Bhed, some clustered around various pieces of machina while others bustled about with a myriad of other tasks.

It was funny but somehow I'd imagined that the world had stopped while Gippal, Elhandra and I had been solving the mystery of the bombings. To find that everything had moved on quite happily without us was kinda disturbing. It made me wonder just what we'd missed during our absence.

However, as soon as the first Al Bhed looked up and caught sight of us, the scene of normalcy was shattered.

"Gippal!" the Al Bhed cried, his voice carrying across the rough expanse of ground outside of the temple. "_Oui'na pylg_!" (You're back!)

In an instant we were the centre of attention. Or to be more exact: Gippal was; _I _was shoved aside as a tide of Al Bhed swept down upon us, shouting gleefully, patting Gippal on the back, shoulders, head, celebrating his triumphant return.

It was like the prodigal son finally coming home.

I stepped backwards to avoid being trampled on and watched as Gippal embraced a number of the newcomers, shook hands with others and generally basked in the welcome of those who were practically his family. The smile on his face was by far the most genuine I had seen since Lreav's death and it was for that reason alone that I didn't feel slighted by the fact that no one seemed to have registered my presence.

"Lady Rikku?"

Surprised, I turned around to see that one of the Al Bhed had broken away from the rest of the group and approached me. Small and slender, with hair so dark it was almost black, he looked vaguely familiar.

"Don't you remember me?"

I hated it when people asked you that, because the answer was _always _no but you never wanted to come out and say it. I mean, who wants to know that they've been forgotten?

"Of course I do," I blustered, peering at him in the hope that my memory would suddenly jump up and give me his name. I didn't know very many Al Bhed here at the temple and he must have been someone I'd met when I'd first accompanied Gippalhere several weeks ago …

The youngster grinned at my words, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet as he did so. I was forcibly reminded of an over-eager Dingo pup and strangely enough, that thought brought a name to my lips.

"Of course I do … Freelan."

"You _do_ remember me!" Freelan's smile brightened even more, if that was possible, and I found myself smiling back. It really was impossible not to; there was something infectiously cheerful about the young Al Bhed in front of me. And after everything that had happened recently, I was in need of some serious cheering up.

"How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine. Great. _Fuhtanvim_!" (Wonderful!) Freelan beamed enthusiastically. "Especially now that Gippal's back."

"Yeah, you guys sure seem to love him." My tone was slightly ironic but Freelan didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, yes," he assured me earnestly, "Gippal's very important to us. He's our leader, you know?"

"Yes, I know," I agreed solemnly, fighting to keep the smile off my face.

"I'm just _so _glad he's okay. The business with Lreav …" Freelan's smile faded, " … was terrible."

I felt a sudden chill sweep through my body. Even though Lreav had been gone from our lives for weeks now, his presence was still so evident. Would Gippal and I ever be able to escape the shadow of Lreav's betrayal?

"At least it's all over now," I offered lamely, after a few moments had passed with Freelan staring at me expectantly.

He brightened instantly. "Yes. Especially now that Gippal's back!"

Boy, this kid had a _serious _case of hero worship when it came to Gippal. If he'd been a girl I would have been worried.

"I just hope he's here to stay now … are you here to stay?"

Was I? Was I here to stay? It was a damn good question but one that I didn't have an answer for. I supposed that it would probably be up to Gippal, but even if he wanted it, did _I _really want to stay at Djose Temple for the foreseeable future?

It was something I'd never considered before. My life has always been one of action, even before I became one of Yuna's Guardians. I mean, I was working with the Al Bhed to try and prevent the Summoners' pilgrimages back when I was fourteen, you know? And that's not even considering the two years I spent as a Sphere Hunter, constantly flying around Spira, going where the mood – and the spheres – took us. Was I really ready to throw all of that away and … settle down?

That was something that seemed to be going around a lot recently. First Wakka and Lulu, then Yuna and Tidus … heck, even the stoic Paine appeared to have found her niche, helping Nooj, Baralai and Yuna bring some order to Spira. That wasn't to mention my brother, the most free spirited – and least work-inclined – Al Bhed I know, who had happily returned to Bikanel Island to help our dad with the rebuilding of Home.

So what was wrong with me? Why did Freelan's question make me feel so troubled? Why did the thought of 'settling down' fill me with such uneasiness?

_I'm only eighteen!_ My inner voice wailed. _I'm too young!_

"Lady Rikku? Are you alright?"

Freelan's worried voice drew me back from my panicked reverie and I realised I still hadn't answered his question.

"Er … I guess," I offered lamely.

Freelan seemed reassured because he instantly launched into a detailed account of what had been happening in mine and Gippal's absence. My attention drifted as he happily babbled on and I found my eyes seeking out the familiar figure of Gippal.

The crowd of Al Bhed around him had abated somewhat; a number of them had returned to their various machina-related tasks or disappeared back inside of the temple, leaving only aselect fewtalking to Gippal in hushed tones.

However, the conversation was interrupted when the temple doors opened and a dusky figure emerged. He walked sedately towards us and as he drew nearer, I realised I recognised him too – and could even remember his name. It was Treilad, one of the other Al Bhed that I had briefly met on my last visit to the temple, and something of a mentor to Gippal.

The dark-skinned Al Bhed stopped in front of Gippal and held out his hand. The two men solemnly shook hands before Gippal pulled Treilad into a backslapping embrace, laughing and exchanging greetings, a wide grin on both of their faces.

"_Ruf yna oui tuehk_, Gippal?" (How are you doing, Gippal?) Treilad asked once they had drawn apart again.

Gippal shrugged disarmingly. "_E's ugyo_." (I'm okay.)

Treilad looked at him penetratingly but didn't push the subject. Instead he turned to me. "And you, Lady Rikku?"

I was surprised that he had remembered me and favoured him with a bright smile. "I'm good. Saving the world always makes me feel better."

Gippal laughed at my flippancy and even Treilad smiled. Freelan's stream of conversation faltered.

"Yeah, and we're gettin' kinda good at it. How many times has it been now? Twice?" Gippal raised his eyebrows in that old mocking way.

I raised mine right back. "For you maybe. Some of us are more experienced in the world-saving business."

"How many times have you saved the world then, Lady Rikku?" Freelan asked excitedly.

"Oh, only about three times," I replied, affecting nonchalance. "But I'm sure that's enough to secure my superiority in the subject."

Gippal snorted rudely and I stuck my tongue out at him, surprised by the sudden rush of happiness that infused me. I'd really missed teasing Gippal like this. Everything had been dark for so long … I'd almost wondered if Gippal had forgotten how to smile. But to see him now, to hear the familiar banter between us – though it was somewhat more good-natured than it had been in the past – gave me hope.

The old Gippal was finally emerging from the facsimile Lreav's actions had created. I wanted to cheer!

"Have I greeted everyone now? Then let's go inside. I wanna see what you guys have done to the temple in my absence."

With those words, I fully expected Gippal to stride ahead with Treilad, leaving me and Freelan to bring up the rear. And he did, or at least, he moved a few metres before pausing and looking back over his shoulder.

"Rikku?"

Was that uncertainty in his voice? Cocky, arrogant, supremely confident Gippal … uncertain? I would have laughed if I hadn't been feeling exactly the same way about our shifting relationship. Instead I was somewhat reassured by the discovery. I'd seen Gippal with women before – _plenty _of them – and he'd invariably retained his roguish persona, spending most of his time while he was with them, eyeing up other girls. That he was uncertain with me suggested that the feelings growing between us were far more serious than any he'd experienced before.

Such a realisation was kind of scary … but it also made me feel special.

Loved, even.

I walked forward to join him and looked up into his tanned face, feeling very uncertain myself. Why had he stopped?

A soft touch on my hand made me jump and I looked down in time to see that Gippal had taken my hand in his.

I stared at our linked hands in amazement. It wasn't the first time we'd held hands or anything, but it was certainly the first time_ Gippal _had initiated such contact. And it was also the first time he'd showed any kind of private affection towards me in front of other people. He was publicly acknowledging our relationship in front of his friends!

Coming from Gippal – especially after the struggle it had been to even get him to invite me to the temple – this was amazing. And kinda flattering.

I wonder what his friends thought. Glancing covertly behind me, I attempted to gauge Treilad and Freelan's reactions. The former looked completely unsurprised, although there was the hint of a knowing smile dancing around his lips which bothered my slightly. Freelan, on the other hand, was staring so hard I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. I guess it probably was fascinating to watch the latest chapter in his hero's life unfolding in front of him.

The funny thing is, I found that I didn't care. Even if there had been disgust and disapproval on their faces, I still wouldn't have pulled away from Gippal's touch.

He meant too much to me now.

* * *

Djose Temple had changed a lot over the years. When Yuna had passed through on her pilgrimage, I was told it had been a silent, holy place, populated by priests of Yevon. Raising your voice in such a place would probably have resulted in being arrested for crimes against Yevon … it was probably for the best that I hadn't joined the pilgrimage until later on.

With Spira's trust in Yevon destroyed and the end of the need for Summoners, the temple had fallen into disuse once Sin had been destroyed. It wasn't until Gippal's Machine Faction had arisen and had claimed the empty temple as their own that it had become occupied once more.

Nowadays you were far more likely to see a piece of machina than a priest of Yevon in the temple of Djose. It seemed the building had come full circle; what was once reviled was now embraced and where it had once stood for the past, now it represented the future.

As he had all those weeks ago when I'd first arrived at Djose Temple, Gippal lead us straight through the vast entrance chamber of the temple and into the smaller antechamber which seemed to serve as the headquarters of the Machine Faction. In fact, everything was _so _familiar, from the situation down to the other Al Bhed that joined us in the room, which I half expected to relive the preliminary discussion about the bombings.

Except that Elhandra wasn't with us … and neither was Lreav.

We all took seats around the table, although this time I thought nothing of sitting next to Gippal. It seemed … natural somehow. Right; like I belonged there.

Gippal planted his elbows firmly on the table and linked his hands together. Resting his chin on top of them he eyed his lieutenants.

"Report."

Treilad spoke first, giving a fairly detailed account about the happenings of the Machine Faction during Gippal's absence. I tried to listen, really I did, but there's only so much technical jargon I can stomach without automatically tuning out. I've never understood why some Al Bhed are so fascinated with the theory behind machina – the fun bit surely is diving in blind and seeing what you come up with.

"What of Experiment K?" Gippal asked intently as I started to contemplate the high vaulted ceiling above our heads. It really was quite impressive and I idly wondered who had constructed it.

The auburn-haired Al Bhed – I think his name was Avrin – shook his head. "_Ed fyc y vyemina_." (It was a failure.)

"We did learn that the reverse power conduits don't work," Freelan corrected, shifting in his seat, his eyes burning with an almost fanatical light. It seemed Gippal wasn't the only thing he was obsessed with – I feared for the future of all things machina.

"_Dryd'c dnia_," (That's true) Avrin allowed.

"So what letter are we on now?" Gippal wanted to know.

"O," Avrin replied, his thick accent as usual making it hard to understand his words when he spoke in anything but Al Bhed.

"What happened to L, M and N?"

"L didn't make it out of the workshop – it had a fatal flaw in the construction," Treiland explained.

"M exploded," Freelan reported earnestly.

Gippal's eye widened. "Exploded?"

"It was a technical fault – we couldn't have know –"

"_Yht H ec cdemm eh luhcdnildeuh_,"(And N is still in construction) Avrin concluded. "We await – awaiting … you."

After years of living with Brother and his rather tenuous grasp of language, I had no trouble understanding Avrin's shaky words.

"Hmm …" Gippal rubbed his chin with one gloved hand. "Hold off for a few days and then we'll come and have a look at it."

" … We?" Treilad questioned gently.

Gippal met his eyes calmly. "Rikku and I."

I looked up, startled, at the sound of my name.

"She's probably got more experience with machina than the rest of us put together." Gippal broke off, looking slightly embarrassed at his ringing endorsement of me. I tried to get him to meet my eyes but he remained staring stubbornly ahead until he added, "Besides, a new perspective is always useful."

"Then by all means, Lady Rikku, you are most welcome," Treilad told me graciously, that knowing smile still in evidence on his face.

"What else has been happenin'?" Gippal asked, changing the subject quickly.

This time it was Avrin, with help – or hindrance – from Freelan, who described the Machine Faction's progress. Once again I tuned out and before I knew it, the meeting was being concluded and Avrin and Freelan were rising from the table.

Treilad remained behind after the others had left the room and fixed Gippal with as direct a glance as I had ever seen.

"How are you _really _Gippal?"

I expected Gippal to bluster his way through like he always did, but this time he said nothing. Instead he rested his chin back on his hands and stared blankly down at the table.

"I'm not great," he admitted finally.

"Lreav's betrayal took us all by surprise."

Gippal buried his head in his hands, muffling his voice. "He was so angry with me Trei. _So _angry. How could I have missed that?"

"We all missed it. Even those of us who'd known him for as long as you." Treilad's voice was incredibly gentle when he added, "Even Lhan."

Gippal didn't reply.

"Where is Lhan?"

When Gippal still didn't reply, I hesitantly spoke up. "She's gone back to Bikanel Island to, um, be with her dad I think. She said she didn't want to come here because of all the memories it held of Lre – of her brother."

Treilad nodded slowly. "That's understandable. This situation has been difficult for all of us to cope with."

"If I had just stopped him –"

"Gippal." Treilad reached out and touched Gippal's head. "You must not blame yourself. What happened was not your fault. You couldn't have foreseen it and you did everything you could to prevent it."

"But –"

"No." Treilad's tone was firmer now, firmer than I had ever heard before. "You did everything in your power to stop Lreav and then, once his guilt was assured, you gave him the chance to repent. It was his decision to end his life, just as it was his decision to build and plant the bombs. It was not your fault and if it hadn't been a grievance with you, Lreav would have found some other excuse. It was _not_ your fault."

The conversation had become so intense that I felt slightly awkward sitting there. It was as if I was intruding on something incredibly private; something I wasn't supposed to be privy to. Since discovering the truth about Lreav, Gippal had spoken little about his own feelings on the matter, not even to me. To hear him finally opening up was a relief to be sure, but I couldn't help but be hurt that Treilad had succeeded where I had so many times failed.

"It was not your fault, Gippal," Treilad repeated firmly.

Gippal ran one hand through his hair. "I know," he muttered finally, "but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty."

"I would think less of you if you did not."

Another one of those depressing silences filled the room and I shifted awkwardly in my seat. I hated this; I hated not knowing what to say and the fact that Gippal was hurting. I wanted to do something, _say_ something to make everything all right again. The younger, more optimistic me would have tried without even thinking twice, so why was I hesitating? Had I truly changed _that _much since the girl who spent hours thinking up and rejecting crazy plans to save her cousin's life?

No.

"Right, that's enough of that, I think."

Both Gippal and Treilad looked at me; Gippal with a confused expression and Treilad with his face carefully blank.

"I think we've all had our fill of depressing thoughts today," I continued brusquely. "And besides, you're ruining our triumphant return to Djose Temple."

"Rikku –"

"Ah, ah, ah!" I wiggled my finger at him. "The subject is closed. We've just saved the world … again. Shouldn't we be having some kind of celebration?"

"Like a victory party?" Gippal suggested ironically.

"Well _I _though we'd had enough of those already, but if you really want another one –"

"I think we can do without the party."

"Meanie," I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him for the second time in under an hour. He rolled his eyes at my expression but I didn't care. I'd managed to distract him from his thoughts of Lreav; my teasing had served its purpose. I saw Treilad giving me a look full of respect from across the other side of the table and I felt a small swell of pride. Maybe Gippal wouldn't talk to me about his feelings, but no one could cheer him up like I could.

"And with that I will take my leave of you," Treilad rose, tucking his chair neatly under the table and inclining his head to Gippal and me. "You need time to get settled in."

"Thanks Trei." Gippal also rose and walked with Treilad to the door, opening it for him. As he turned to leave, the dusky Al Bhed bent down and whispered something in Gippal's ear. Gippal flushed bright red and threw an unreadable glance at me before turning back to Treilad and practically pushing him out of the door. I could hear the older man's deep laughter even once the door had shut behind him and wondered just what he had said that had embarrassed Gippal so.

"What now?" I asked him brightly, determined to hold onto the cheerful mood that I had brought into the room.

"Um … I guess I could give you a tour. You weren't here for Yuna's pilgrimage, were you?"

I was surprised he knew that. "Nope – that part of the journey was pre-me."

"Back when you were just Cid's girl?"

"I was never 'just Cid's girl'," I told him archly, rising and coming around the table to join him over by the door. "Which you would have known if you'd even given me the time of day back then."

He assumed a tragic expression. "Oh, the time I've wasted."

I poked him in the chest. "Better believe it. _I _helped to save the world at fifteen. What were _you _doing?"

"Tryin' to avoid bein' killed by an a thousand year old spirit who'd possessed one of my best friends."

I cocked my head to one side. "Okay – that's actually quite impressive."

"Works with all the ladies."

"Hey!" I poked him again and he flinched.

"I'm goin' to get a bruise there," he complained.

"Don't be such a baby!" Giggling, I poked him once more.

"I'm not!" He tried to fend me off. "You have a mean poke – it hurts."

"Guess you're going to have to stop me then. The question is: how?"

"How about … _this_?"

His arms abandoned their attempt at grabbing hold of mine and wrapped themselves around my waist instead, effectively squashing mine against his chest.

He was right about one thing: it stopped my poking.

I looked up at him, the last giggles dying away, suddenly becoming very aware of how incredibly close we were to one another. Gippal need only dip his head down slightly and we would be –

His lips pressed against mine and for once, I wasn't surprised. On the contrary, I found myself welcoming the contact I'd been craving for so long. I pressed myself more tightly against him, at the same time freeing my hands so that they could work their way up his chest and encircled his neck. My fingers played with the hair at the base of his neck; it felt like pure silk to my calloused fingers.

The kiss deepened as Gippal opened his mouth slightly and I felt the most fleeting touch of his tongue against mine. His hands were running up and down my spine, the delicate pressure of his fingertips making me quiver. The part of my brain that was still able to think clearly was berating me for resisting this for such a long time. It felt so damn good …

Finally, the endless moment was broken and reality returned. We broke apart reluctantly, although he still kept his arms firmly around my waist and my hands remained entwined in his hair.

"That was … that was a fairly effective method," I informed him breathlessly, mesmerised by the intensity of the emotions I could see in his blazing green eye.

"I'm not sure … maybe I should try again …"

The world faded away. At that moment all I could feel was Gippal. All I wanted to think about was Gippal. And all I cared about was Gippal. Here, in his arms, I felt truly at home for the first time in months. All of the worries and frustration at the bombing investigation, the anger and hurt over Lreav's betrayal and subsequent death, the confusion and fear caused by my feelings for Gippal … none of it bothered me anymore.

There was just me, and Gippal … and that was all I needed.


	4. Chapter Three: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Just a quick author's note to say a big thankyou to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter and to also send out a shameless plea to those who read but don't review. One of the main drawbacks of the new login feature is you can compare how many hits you get in comparison to how many people review … and sometimes it can be rather depressing! The only way I can improve my work is to hear what people think about it so please, if you have a spare moment, then review with your opinion ; )

This chapter is dedicated to my long-distance friend Nadia, who will probably never read this fic but is still my biggest fan.

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Three: Gippal_

* * *

I like to think of myself as a rather spontaneous kind of guy. I'm certainly not known for my planning ability – that was always someone else's responsibility. When I was a kid it was my dad. Then when he died it was Treilad for a time – he became something of a mentor to me. Next I guess it was Nooj – he was certainly the leader of our merry little Crimson Squad band … for all the good it did.

Even now, when I'm actually the leader of something myself, I wouldn't say I'm really in control. I think of myself as more of a figurehead – it's Treilad and Avrin who get the real work done while I just try my hand at different things depending on my mood. And in terms of shear numbers, my little Machine Faction is certainly subordinate to Baralai's New Yevon, or Nooj's Youth League – who in turn are subordinate to the indomitable Lady Yuna.

Everyone's subordinate to Lady Yuna. If Spira had a titular ruler, she would have been elected years ago. As it is, she's just filling the position without adding the title onto her name.

So, I'm not the forward thinking type. That's okay; there've always been other people to fill that position in the past. But the problem is, I've finally found a situation in which I actually have to think ahead and do you know what? It's harder than it looks.

Forward thinking his never been my forte. I prefer to live my life day by day – trust me, it reduces the things you have to worry about. Unfortunately it does catch me out from time to time and maybe this was why I had never even considered the living situation of Djose Temple – specifically in relation to the Machine Faction's newest recruit.

Housing in the temple had always been a bit of a problem. There had only been so much of the Cloister of Trials that we had been able to turn into habitable rooms and as for the Chamber of the Fayth … well no one really wanted to live there. The Fayth might have been gone from Spira but their presence was still almost palatable in the Chamber.

Unfortunately, this only served to highlight my current problem: where was Rikku going to stay while she was at the temple?

The obvious answer was with me. It wasn't like I'd never shared a room with a girl before. And more than that besides. But that had only ever been on a brief – _very_ brief – basis and I got the feeling that this thing with Rikku – this _relationship_ – was going to be a bit more long-term.

So what in Spira was I supposed to do about the room?

The problem was, there simply wasn't anywhere else to put her aside from in one of the two rooms I used at the temple. I could possibly squeeze her in to one of the dormitories but unless she wanted to share a room with strangers – _male_ strangers … no, that was a very, _very _bad idea.

It was completely out of the question.

That left me with only one option – the first one I'd arrived at … sharing my rooms. Which opened up a damn minefield in the way of problems. For starters, I had to actually _talk _to her about it. This was not as easy as it sounded – one of the only constants about Rikku was the fact that she was completely unpredictable. Spira knows how she would react to this. Knowing women she'd probably take it as a sign that I was ready to 'commit' to our relationship. Either that or it would throw her into a mad panic and she'd start doing that second-guessing thing that drove me _mad_.

She'd start to question our relationship, _my _intentions –

"Gippal?"

- whether I just wanted to take _advantage_ of her –

"Gippal?"

- if I was lying about there being no other rooms –

"Are you even listening to me?"

Rikku's voice cut through my frantic thoughts and my attention returned to find her looking at me, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Of _course _I am." I smiled down at her, lying through my teeth. I could have told her the truth … but I'm not stupid.

And I'd like to keep all my body parts safely where they are.

Rikku still looked suspicious but she let it go, turning instead to inspect the room we'd just walked into.

"Is this …?"

"The Chamber of the Fayth? Yep."

When the Machine Faction had first come to Djose Temple and everyone had refused point-blank to sleep in the Chamber of the Fayth, it had been left up to me to decide what was to be done with it. I had been loath to leave such a good space empty, particularly when things were somewhat crowded in the temple and so it was that what had once been one of the holiest places in Spira, had became the home of our ongoing project, which was currently known as 'Experiment O'.

Idly I wondered how the Fayth would react to the presence of experimental machina in their midst. I _knew _how the general populace would react – particularly New Yevon – and that was why Experiment O was the Machine Faction's greatest secret. Yuna knew of course; after the Vegnagun debacle I could hardly _not _have told her about Spira's latest piece of monster-machina, but the rest of Spira remained blissfully ignorant.

Which was probably for the best. Mass hysteria was never pretty and Spira had had quite enough of it recently.

"Wow." A thoughtful expression crossed Rikku's face and as her gaze swept around the room I wondered what she was thinking. When her eyes alighted on the construction in the centre of the room, where the spirit of Ixion had once dwelled, her face became alight with excitement.

"Is that one of your experiments?" she asked, her fingers twitching as if she was dying to run her hands over every inch of it.

"In all her glory."

"Her?" Rikku arched one blonde eyebrow at me, although her eyes were dancing.

"Why not 'her'?" I challenged.

Rikku pulled a face. "Just so long as you haven't given _her _a name …"

"Is Experiment O bland enough for you?"

"It'll do," Rikku said, then laughed, her eyes unconsciously straying back to the fascinating machina. "Can I have a look?" she pleaded.

"Knock yourself out."

I watched appreciatively as Rikku began examining our latest prototype machina. Spira, she was cute. I couldn't remember ever being so physically attracted to a girl before – and trust me; I've known plenty of gorgeous women. And I mean _known_; I'm not immune to the whole girls and guys maturing thing – in fact, Rikku would probably be horrified to find out just how un-immune I am.

Not that she needs to know that, of course.

But Rikku … she's different. It's more than just the physical attraction – although I think the fact that she runs around practically naked kinda helps -I'm finding that I'm actually interested in what she has to say. I _want _to know her opinion about stuff and I want her to know mine. I wanna share the things that are important to me and I want her to be interested and listen. And _I _want to know all about her.

It's weird … and also slightly disturbing. Since losing my ma when I was a baby and then my da and step-ma when I was ten, I haven't really been close to anyone. I mean sure, I've had friends. Treilad took my under his wing and then when I joined the Crimson Squad I met Nooj, Baralai and Paine but I think there's a difference in the relationships that you have with your friends and the ones you have with your family. It's like, well, you talk about different things don't you? And you share different experiences. And in general, you aren't as intimate with friends as you are with close family.

With Rikku it was just so different. She blurred the lines between friendship and … something more. It was completely new territory for me and if I was honest, I was a bit daunting.

"Hey, I have a question."

Rikku's voice drew me out of my reverie. I looked up to see that she had taken apart a piece of the machina and was eyeing it speculatively.

"Yeah?"

"Well … this is Experiment 'O', right?"

I felt this was fairly obvious considering I'd told her that not five minutes ago but I nodded anyway.

Rikku turned the machina piece upside down and squinted at its innards. "So what happens when you get to the end of the alphabet?"

It was such a stupid question – so _classically _Rikku – that I burst out laughing. She peered inquisitively at me for a few moments and then started giggling herself. Giving the machina one last pat, she waltzed back over to me, the piece she had broken off still clasped in her hand.

I eyed her machina-filled hand pointedly. "Haven't you forgotten something?"

She faked a look of surprise; her huge green eyes grew impossibly round and her face assumed a façade of complete innocence. "Oh, this little old thing?"

"That little old thing is kinda important, Rikku."

"Actually, it's obsolete." She casually tossed the piece of machina to me and though surprised, I still managed to catch it. "If you put it back it in it'll just screw up the experiment again."

I shook my head in amazement. It never occurred to me to question her – I hadn't been lying when I'd told Treilad that she knew more about machina than most of the rest of the Machine Faction put together. The relationship between Rikku and machina is kinda spooky – it's almost symbiotic how she can tell what's wrong with something by just looking.

"I'll take your word for it." I made to throw the discarded piece of machina into the pile that was growing by the entrance to the chamber. Before I could, Rikku surprised me again by grabbing hold of my arm.

"No! That's a perfectly good piece of working machina – don't just throw it away!"

She sounded so indignant that I just had to laugh. Annoyed, she snatched the machina from me and cradled against her chest like a child. "He doesn't appreciate you, does he?" she cooed to it.

Which only made me laugh harder.

Rikku glared at me. "You're just a big meanie!" she declared, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, but you still love me, don't you?"

As soon as the words had left my mouth I wanted to pull them back. In fact, I wanted to shove them so far back down my throat that they ended up somewhere in the region of my appendix – to a place where they weren't likely to come out of any time soon. Oh why the hell had I chosen those particular words?

Rikku's merry expression had stiffened somewhat and she suddenly looked very nervous. As if the last thing she wanted to do right now was to be standing in the Chamber of the Fayth with me. Somehow I didn't blame her. I mean, if it had been _her _that had said those damn words I would probably have been running for the hills. Or at least the nearest bar.

Not that I didn't feel like fleeing now. The only things stopping me were the fact that Rikku was standing between me and the chamber's entrance and that I didn't particularly want to lose face in front of her. I'm not someone who usually runs away from their problems and I didn't want her to think that I was. She might … she might lose faith in me or something.

Rikku looked down at the piece of machina in her hands as the silence dragged on between us. I tried to think of something – _anything_ – I could say to change the subject and make this awful tension go away. Maybe I could laugh and pretend it had all been a joke? Or perhaps I should just try and convince Rikku I'd actually said something completely different.

Before I could put either of these incredibly astute plans into action, Rikku broke the silence herself.

"And how," she said carefully, still not looking at me, "would you react if I said that maybe … maybe I did?"

Now it was _my _turn to be nervous. This was not something I had imagined she would say – it was not something she was _supposed _to say. How was I meant to respond to something like this? "I would um … I would …" I coughed and cleared my throat, fumbling for the right words. "I'd be surprised but, well, I guess it would … be okay."

She stared silently at me for several long moments and then abruptly, her expression darkened. "Okay? _Okay_?" she shrieked. "I've just admitted that what I feel for you might _possibly_ be more than just friendship, and all you can say is that it's _okay_?"

I was completely taken aback by her reaction. I had expected her to be embarrassed and not want to talk about it, but shouting? Being angry? That wasn't supposed to happen! I gathered my stunned thoughts together and tried to rectify the situation. "I was just –"

"Ugh!" Rikku threw her hands up in the air, the piece of machina falling to the floor with a clang, where it lay, discarded. "I am getting so _sick_ of this! Do I have to spell _everything _out for you?"

"What are you talkin' about?" I demanded, her apparent anger making my own rise.

She stared at me mulishly, then said abruptly, "What am I to you, Gippal?"

I blinked, sensing I was treading on dangerous ground. "You're – you're Rikku."

She didn't seem very impressed at my talent for stating the obvious.

I tried again. "Cid's girl?"

Her expression hardened.

"This little machina-obsessed kid I knew back on Bikanel?"

I was not winning myself any points so I tried to search around for something else, something that would placate her. Unfortunately, I kept coming up blank and Rikku was looking more and more unimpressed.

"Is there nothing else?" she asked finally, sounding a little desperate. "Nothing at all?"

She was looking so sad now that I started to feel guilty, but for the life of me I didn't know what she wanted me to say. It was like that time back on the Melatha, before we'd come to Djose Temple, when I _know _she had wanted me to say something specific but even to this day I have no idea what it was. Why in Spira's name didn't she just come out and _say_ it? It would save a lot of time and she'd probably be less pissed off with me by the end of it.

I decided to try and be as honest as possible, without ending up sounding like a complete idiot. "Well … at first you were just this girl I knew. Kind of annoyin'. Had a clever mouth on her." I stared at that clever mouth and suddenly had the strongest urge to kiss it. I hurried on. "Then this bomb went off and all this bad stuff happened and … well I guess we became friends. _Good _friends. Maybe even … well maybe even more than just friends."

"And how do you feel about me now?" she asked hopefully, voice barely above a whisper.

Somehow I knew that 'okay' wasn't going to cut it this time, so I settled on the safer option of, "Pretty good."

She held my gaze for several more seconds and then sighed. "I guess that will have to do for now."

She sounded so resigned; I just didn't get it. It seemed to me that even I lived to be a hundred, I was _still_ never going to understand women.

Rikku turned away from me and busied herself with picking up the wayward piece of machina from where she had so carelessly discarded it earlier. "Oh I've dented it," she said, almost to herself. "I'll have to fix it later. Just let me drop it off in my room – I won't be long."

I watched her leave, content to let her go because it gave me time to get my head around what had just happened. Because even though I'm not the brightest guy when it comes to interpreting the intricacies of women, even _I _couldn't miss the fact that Rikku had just admitted she was quite possibly in love with me – and that she hadn't seem completely thrilled by my reaction.

It was kind of a worrying thought, if I was to be honest. That kind of statement comes with a big responsibility, that deadly word that all men intrinsically run from … a relationship. A committed, supportive _relationship_.

Spira, it sounded so respectable. And yet, weirdly enough, I actually found myself considering it seriously for the first time that I could remember. Was I in a relationship? Is that what the declaration from Rikku proved? It was funny because I'd always equated relationships with being old but when I actually stop to think about it, there wasn't a better word to describe what had developed between me and Rikku.

I couldn't keep kidding myself that it was just a flirtation. Not after everything that had happened. Not after today.

And I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

Casting my eyes one last time over Experiment O – and inwardly hoping that Rikku had been right to remove that section of machina – I turned and strode out of the Chamber of the Fayth. The door slid shut behind me as I began to make my way back through the Cloister of Trials, nodding a greeting to the members of the Machine Faction that I passed. I'd like to say I knew each and every one of their names, but that would be a lie. To be honest, aside from my top technicians and people like Treilad and Avrin, I don't really see a great deal of the rest of the Machine Faction. Particularly those who dig for us in Bikanel. I meet them for a five-minute interview and then that's it and I send them off into Nhadala's capable hands.

Speaking of Nhadala, I wonder how she is. I haven't seen her in the _longest _time. Maybe it's about time I pull her back from the desert … she's been there for _ages _now.

"I'm back."

I smiled distractedly at Rikku, my thoughts still on the absent Nhadala. "Hey, Rikku – you remember Nhadala right?"

"Er – yeah. Why?"

"Do you think she'd want to come back to the temple?"

Rikku's face fell but I didn't notice. "I don't know," she said coolly. "She'd hardly tell me, would she? It's not like we really know each other."

"I guess not."

"Why do you want her back here anyway?"

I didn't note the growing tension. "Well with Elhandra and Lreav gone there's a gap in the establishment. Nhadala could take over their positions."

"And who would take over hers?" Rikku's voice was unfriendly now and I was beginning to get the impression I'd done something to upset her.

"Well Avrin would be a good choice. There're a couple of good Al Bhed I could promote in his place …"

"Seems you've got it all planned out." Yep, I'd definitely done something wrong. She'd reverted back to Coldly Angry Rikku again in the blink of an eye. One minute she was saying she loved me and now she was acting like she hated me. What _was_ her problem?

"It's just an idea." I shrugged, trying to ignore her hostility.

"You seem to like surrounding yourself with women, don't you?"

It was such an absurd statement that I stared blankly at her. She looked thoroughly irritated and I found my grasp on my temper slipping.

"What _is_ your problem, Rikku?" I demanded, making no effort to keep my voice down. The few Machine Faction members around looked across at us curiously.

Rikku's eyes flashed. "_My_ problem? I don't have a problem. _You_ however –"

I sighed dramatically. "What have I done this time?"

She shook her head slowly, face flushed. "You can't see it, can you? First Elhandra and now Nhalada –"

"What does Elhandra have to do with anythin'?"

"Are you _blind_? She was all over you for weeks on end!"

"I never encouraged her," I said defensively.

She laughed bitterly. "You never told her to stop either, did you? I reckon one girl's not enough for you. Have to have _two_, don't you?"

"What the hell are you talkin' about? Elhandra's my _friend_ –"

"Then you should have told _her _that! Do you _any _idea what it felt like –"

Angry, I spoke over her. "She's my _friend._ Only my friend. Dammit Rikku, will you _stop _bein' so jealous all the time? When have I _ever _given you reason to be jealous? I've been completely faithful to you and I just admitted that what I feel for you is beyond friendship – what more do you want from me?"

"No," she shot back, her hands balling into fists. "_I _said that. _I _said I think I'm love with you. _You_ wouldn't say anything until I forced it out of you."

"So I don't wanna talk about it. Did that become a crime when I wasn't lookin'?"

A ringing silence followed my furious question and I became aware that Rikku and I were inches apart but instead of kissing, as we normally would have done, we were glaring at each other. The gathered Al Bhed were watching avidly; it wasn't often that they caught their leader and a famous Al Bhed hero airing their differences so publicly.

Rikku was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her cheeks were flushed and her slender frame looked poised for action. Even during all the time we'd spent arguing back before we'd become friends, I'd never seen her looking this upset.

As I watched, the anger faded out of her face leaving her tense and white. Her eyes remained fixed on mine but they held none of the laughter I was accustomed to seeing. "Say it," she ordered softly.

_Say it?_ "Say what?"

"Say you love me."

Where had this come from? The subject of 'being in love' wasn't one we'd ever discussed before – we'd never even got close to the concept before that moment in the Chamber of the Fayth. And now she expected me to blurt out my feelings in front of the people who worked for me? When I wasn't even sure of those feelings myself?

I _couldn't _say it. I didn't know if it was true and even if it was, I didn't want to tell her like this – in front of everyone and just to stop our argument. Frankly I could hardly believe she was asking me. It was so sudden and out of the blue … I knew our relationship was changing but I hadn't expected it to change _this _quickly!

"Okay, fine – maybe that was too much." The words were muttered; I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear them. "Say you at least _like_ me. As more than a friend." Her voice held an edge of desperation.

I ran one hand through my hair, suddenly uncomfortable under her intense gaze. "You know I do."

"I …" _Say the words – say the _damn_ words!_ "I – I …" But the pressure and embarrassment of the situation was too much and I couldn't speak. I couldn't find the words.

The expression on Rikku's face was terrible – she looked completely shattered. "You can't say it, can you?"

"I can!" I was quick to jump to my own defence. "Back in the Chamber of the Fayth, well, I _kinda_ said it. So … so I _can _say it."

Rikku shook her head. "Not when it counts," she said softly, stepping away from me.

I reached out to catch her arm but before I could she had turned and was walking away from me, back towards the entrance of the temple. Without thinking I hurried after her. "Rikku!"

Her only response was to increase her speed.

I ran after her, my longer legs eating up her smaller strides. "Rikku, wait!"

She was fast; I'll give her that. Must have been from all that sneaky thieving she used to do. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't seem to catch her.

She disappeared into one of the side corridors and I followed her, suddenly realising that she was heading towards the area of the temple in which my rooms were located.

But I hadn't shown her my rooms yet – in fact we'd only completed about half of the exciting temple tour. So how did she know where my rooms were, or was she just running blindly?

If so then she was very good at guessing because she ran straight to my rooms, pulled the door open and hurried inside. I followed, closing the door firmly behind me so that any curious Al Bhed outside wouldn't get another free show. By the time I had done that she had crossed the outer room and entered the second of the bedrooms with such a lack of hesitation that I surmised that someone must have shown her my rooms before.

"Rikku, please – " I called out as I reached the room.

She stood just inside the room but refused to look at me. "Look, Gippal … I just need really to be alone right now, you know?"

And before I could object, the door had closed firmly in my face. I stared at the patterns engraved into the wood, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

Absurdly, the only coherent thought that rose into my mind was that at least I didn't have to worry about the housing situation any more.


	5. Chapter Four: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Finally I've finished this damn chapter! I'm so sorry for the delay – I had a serious case of writers block which is why I devoted my time to other writing projects. However, I'm back on track now and while my updates might not be as regular as they were in the past (I'm going back to uni soon) I am definitely intending to finish this story ; ) So watch this space.

This chapter is dedicated to all those people who reviewed the last chapter and have been patiently waiting for this one – the wait is officially over!

**UPDATED 13/09/2005:** Thanks to the wonderful advice of **Teh Healist**, I've corrected several mistakes and changed a couple of things in this first five chapters of this story. Thanks for pointing my mistakes out to me and please continue to do so : )

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Four: Rikku_

* * *

By the following morning my anger had faded.

The room still bore the scars of my temper; the various ornaments that had adorned the desk lay shattered against it's walls, and a painting of the old Kilika town that had oncehung above the bedwas in serious need of a new frame. Staring at the broken wooden pieces I could still feel the fury that had pulsed through my veins the previous night; anger at myself, anger at the world, but most of all: anger at Gippal.

This morning however, a horrible wave of self-doubt had replaced the anger and as I lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, I began wondering if the events of the previous day had been all my fault after all.

I should have known better than to push the 'I love you' issue. It was too soon; we'd not even really acknowledged that we were in something of a relationship yet. Spira, no wonder Gippal had looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. It had been such a stupid thing to say … why had I had to open my big mouth? Everything had been going so well and now … now I'd ruined it all.

I slammed my hands down on the bed, the self-recrimination fading as the anger returned. Dammit! Why couldn't people just say what they were thinking? Why couldn't things just work out well for a change?

Why did life have to be so complicated?

I rolled over onto my side, the wild cocktail of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. Just as I was about to launch into another period of self-indulgent worrying, a loud bleeping noise caught my attention. For a few moments I thought someone had planted a bomb in my room – inwardly I cursed Lreav for making me paranoid – and then I sat up and looked curiously about the room.

The noise, I discovered, was emanating from the console in the corner of the room. Sliding off the bed, I padded towards it, frowning. The console wasn't something I was familiar with, but it did bear a resemblance to the type of computer systems that both the Celsuis and Gippal's Melatha had possessed. A light was winking at me from beside the blank video screen and after a brief consideration, I sank into the available chair and pushed the button next to the light.

At once the screen sprang into life, revealing the cheerfully grinning face of my cousin Yuna.

Yuna … was grinning. That in itself was weird, but what made it even stranger was the fact that she was last person I had expected to hear from. I'd only left her company a handful of days ago. I couldn't remember if I'd even told her I was coming to Djose Temple, but she didn't look surprised to see me.

"Rikku!" she cried happily.

I simply stared at her. This was getting weirder and weirder; she was practically bouncing in her seat!

Yuna's expression faltered somewhat when I didn't reply. She peered at the monitor. "Rikku, is the sound working?"

Her innocent question disturbed me out of my grumpy thoughts and I told myself to stop being so irritable. Yuna was obviously over-the-moon about something and she didn't need me spoiling her fun by taking my bad mood out on her.

"Perfectly," I reassured her, fixing an equally happy smile on my face and hoping she wouldn't notice how fake it was. Yuna could be annoyingly perceptive sometimes.

She didn't, still caught in the rapture of whatever was making her glow like an achelous. "That's great." I got the feeling I'd be hearing that word a lot during this conversation. "How are you?"

I shrugged guilelessly. "Settling in. How did you know I was here?"

"Baralai heard it from Gippal and he told me." Yuna's eyes narrowed. "Why did I have to hear the news third hand?"

In other words: why hadn't I told my cousin I was basically moving in with someone. And not just any someone, but Mr-I-Helped-Save-The-World Gippal, a man I was supposed to loathe. I suppose from her point of view it was probably a very strange move on my part but then, she didn't know about everything that had happened between me and Gippal on the hunt for Lreav. No one did. For some reason, I hadn't wanted to share it with anyone.

I shrugged again. "I didn't think it was important. I needed something to do with my time while you leader-types were trying to stabilise Spira and Gippal suggested I come work for the Machine Faction. Moving to Djose Temple made more sense than commuting from somewhere else."

Yuna looked disappointed that my explanation was so practical. I think she had been hoping for something morescandalous but after what had happened with Gippal the day before, I just wasn't ready to admit anything about our relationship. Not even to my cousin and closest friend.

I decided it was high time I changed the subject. "Did you call me to talk about something specific, or simply to chat?" It was obviously something specific – Yuna was practically bursting to tell me something – but I enjoyed teasing her. She was so serious sometimes that now I'd gotten over the shock of seeing her so relaxed, I was glad of it. Yuna deserved a bit of fun now and then.

"Oh – um, well, just to chat I suppose. There's, er, there's certainly nothing specific to tell."

Have I ever said what a horrible liar Yuna is?

I decided to play along. "Nothing, nothing at all?"

"Erm … n-no."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I pounced on the word. "So there _is_ something to tell me!"

"No, I didn't mean – " she floundered.

I stifled a giggle and gave the screen a concerned look. "You sound awfully confused Yunie. I think you've been working to hard. You should have breaks every now and then, you know?"

"I have breaks," Yuna muttered defensively. "And it's not my fault I work hard. There's just so much to be done –"

"Such as calling your cousin for a chat about nothing in particular?" I challenged gleefully. Teasing Yuna was so much fun sometimes and right now, some light relief was just what I needed. Light relief and absolutely _no_ mention of a certain blond-haired Al Bhed leader.

Yuna chewed on her lip for a few seconds, her eyes wide. "Tidus asked me to marry him!" she blurted out finally.

I whooped with delight and clapped my hands together. No wonder Yuna had been beaming like Spira's sun – this was _huge _news.

Then a sudden thought struck me. "You did say 'yes', didn't you?" I asked, concerned.

Yuna stared at me incredulously. "Of course I did!"

"Well that's okay then." I looked her straight in the eye and this time my smile was entirely genuine. "Congratulations, Yunie."

My cousin's face broke into a brilliant smile of its own. "Thanks! I wanted you to know as soon as possible …"

"When did he propose?"

"Last night." There was a dreamy look in my cousin's eyes. "It was _so _romantic. He took me out to that little restaurant in Luca I love so much and said I could order whatever I wanted. I thought it was just a normal date, but after we'd eaten dessert and I suggested getting the bill, he told me there was something he wanted to talk to me about first."

I found myself getting swept up in Yuna's tale; her happiness was infectious. "What did he say?"

"He said: 'Yuna, I know that we haven't been together very long. What with your pilgrimage and then the two years I spent hanging around in the ether, we've only really had these last few months to build our relationship – and even that was interrupted by that inconsiderate terrorist.' "

I had to laugh. Only Tidus could describe the happenings over the last several weeks as the work of an 'inconsiderate terrorist'.

Yuna continued. " 'But I know I love you. Despite your annoying need to help everyone in the world, your stubborn streak, your pride and sense of nobility, and the fact that you work too damn hard trying to make everyone happy; I still love you. And that's never going to change, no matter how many obstacles life throws at us.' "

"Wow – I didn't know Tidus was so eloquent," I said without thinking.

Yuna laughed. "Me neither. I think he even surprised himself."

"So what happened next?"

"Next he leaned across the table and took my hand. It felt like the rest of the world had faded away and there were only the two of us left – oh Rikku, it was such an amazing feeling! He was looking at me, and I remember thinking his eyes were so beautiful and I could just stare into them forever …"

"But what did he _say_?" Now I was the one bouncing up and down.

"Well actually, _I _spoke next. I told him that I loved him too and then he laughed, saying he was relieved because it made what he was about to do a little bit easier. Then he looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Yuna, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I think you feel the same. So, er, will you marry me?' "

"What's with the 'so, er' bit?"

"I think he was nervous." It was Yuna's turn to shrug. "To be honest I didn't really notice. I was too busy saying yes."

"You agreed straightaway?" I shook my head in disappointment. "Yunie, Yunie, Yunie. You could have at least let him sweat for a bit first."

"I couldn't do that!" My prim and proper cousin looked shocked.

I just laughed again at her expression. "I'm joking, Yunie. I think you were great. I think Tidus was great. I think _it's_ great." So it wasn't Yuna who was going to over-use the word: it was me. "So when's the wedding?" I continued hurriedly.

"We're not sure yet. Sometime soon though; neither one of us wants to wait for very long." She paused and bit her lip again. "Which brings me to another question?"

Her expression was so serious I thought something was wrong. "What?"

" … Will you be my bridesmaid?"

I blinked. "Really?"

Yuna nodded. "Who else would I ask? Well – I've already asked Paine, but I want you to do it as well."

I blinked again. "Paine agreed? She does know it involves wearing a dress, doesn't she?"

My cousin smiled. "She knows."

"And she still agreed to do it?"

"With a little forceful encouragement from Baralai and Nooj." Yuna's eyes were dancing. "So, will you do it?"

"But what about Lulu?"

"Aren't I allowed three bridesmaids?"

She looked a bit worried, so I stopped my teasing. "Of course you are! And I'd be honoured to be one of them. As long as I get some kind of say in what dresses we wear."

"It's a deal."

There were a few moments of silence and then Yuna laughed again. "I can't believe I'm getting married!"

"Are you scared?" I asked curiously.

She looked thoughtful. "A little bit. Spending your whole life with someone … it's a pretty daunting thought. But on the other hand, I _know_ this is what I want. I love Tidus and he loves me."

"And that's all that matters," I concluded, grimacing when I realised how much I sounded like a heroine in a sappy romantic play. Time to change the tune a little. "And hey, it's an improvement on your last marriage!"

Yuna's eyes flew wide and for a moment I feared I'd hurt her. But though surprise showed in her eyes, she didn't look upset. If anything she looked vaguely amused. "Rikku!"

"How does Tidus feel about marrying a widower? Or are you actually a widower, seeing as how good, old Seymour was technically dead when he dragged you down the aisle?"

"Rikku –" Yuna had started to giggle.

"You know, I think you may be the first woman ever to marry a dead guy. I wonder why that one is up there in your list of titles. Lady Yuna: Saviour of Spira, Defeater of Evil, Banisher of Sin and Spouse of the Unsent."

By this time Yuna was laughing so hard she couldn't object. It was great to see her looking so relaxed and happy for once. She'd been working so hard recently; too hard, but taking everyone else's problems upon herself was simply something that Yuna did. Even though it drove me mad, I still loved her for it.

"You know, I must say it will be nice to be able to plan my own wedding for once," Yuna remarked once she'd calmed down. "I'm already deciding who to invite."

"Well there're the obvious ones: Wakka, Lulu and the baby, Kimarhi, Paine, Baralai and Nooj …" I ticked them off on my fingers.

"If I invite Nooj I guess I'll have to invite Leblanc too," Yuna observed a little sourly.

"I thought you were heavily into equality and being everybody's friend?"

"I am! It's just – it's Leblanc, Rikku!"

She sounded pitiful but I just grinned mercilessly. "So sit her on the table furthest from yours. Now who else? Oh yeah – family! That's Brother and Pops covered. And for the Al Bhed it would have to be Buddy and Shinra. And I suppose you'll want the old Summoner crowd, so that's Isaaru, Dona and –"

"Hey, don't forget you guys!" Yuna interrupted.

"Us guys?"

That uncomfortable look crossed Yuna's face again. "You know … those people at Djose Temple."

What did she – oh. _Oh_. She meant me.

And Gippal.

I had the feeling that uncomfortable look wasn't going to bode well for me …

I was right.

"About – about you guys …" Yuna continued hesitantly. "Well, I was wondering … I was wondering if your invite should be for one or – or perhaps two people."

She knew. I don't know how she'd found out, but Yuna knew about me and Gippal. Or at least heavily suspected. I should have known; her gentle questions about the subject earlier hadn't come from nowhere, had they?

So now I had two choices. I could continue to deny that there was anything going on between me and Gippal, or I could tell the Yuna the truth.

I weighed the options in my mind. Lying was definitely the safer choice and probably the easier one as well. It meant I wouldn't have to open up and admit what I was feeling and with everything that had happened the previous day, this seemed like the best idea.

Yet on the other hand, an objective opinion couldn't hurt. And strangely enough, now that the option was before me, I found that I _wanted _to tell someone. They say that sharing a burden halves the pressure and though I don't consider my relationship with Gippal a burden exactly, it's certainly messing with my mind. I can't think about anything else. Even during the business with Lreav, I'm ashamed to admit I was more concerned about Gippal's well-being than what was being done to the innocent people of Spira.

And perhaps the strongest factor in my decision was the girl who was watching me across the video link, her vari-coloured eyes dark with compassion. Yuna, my cousin, but also one of my best friends in the whole world. Although we didn't grow up together, she's the closest thing I have to a sister and if you can't tell your sister about your guy-related troubles then who can you tell?

In that moment I made up my mind. Yes, I _would_ tell Yuna about Gippal. Maybe she could give me some fresh perspective on the situation. After all, she _was _a whole two years older and more experienced than me. And she was getting married to a man she'd travelled to the ends of the earth to be with. Who better to ask for romantic advice?

"If you'd asked me yesterday I would have said one invite for two people," I admitted finally, the words sounding hollow to my ears.

Yuna's eyes widened. "So there _is_ something between you too!"

I looked down at the floor. "I … I think I'm in love with him." The words were so timid; not like me at all. I shook my head and strengthened my resolve. I had to be completely honest with Yuna if I wanted her to be able to help me. "No, I _know _I'm in love with him."

"Oh Rikku! I'm so happy for you! First me and Tidus and now you and Gippal … wait, Rikku, what's wrong?"

She must have noticed my downcast expression. Quite a feat since I had been trying to hide behind my hair. "Yesterday … yesterday we had a huge row," I admitted quietly, all the misery and anger at that day's events beginning to well up inside me. "It was awful, Yunie."

"What happened?"

"He was giving me a tour of the temple. Things were going great – we were holding hands!" I smiled bitterly. "Then I – I happened to suggest that there was the tiniest possibility that I was in love with him and he completely flipped out!"

"In what way?" my cousin asked patiently.

"He clammed up. Didn't say anything. I ended up having a damn conversation with myself!" Suddenly I was furious again and I couldn't stop the hot words from spilling from my lips. "He just stood there, like a stuffed dummy, and when he finally did speak he said he felt 'okay' about me. _Okay_? I just told him I loved him and he said I was 'okay'?" I threw my hands up in the air. "Who _does_ that? Well obviously _Gippal_ does that – _cdibet eteud_ (stupid idiot). And that wasn't the worst of it – oh no. Straight after that he suddenly decided he was interested in talking again and he started harping on about bloody Nhadala. You remember Nhadala? That Al Bhed cow we met on Bikanel Island? Well he started saying how he should bring her back to the temple! I told him I loved him and he immediately mentions another woman. And not just one woman either, he even brought up Elhandra!"

Yuna looked confused. "Isn't that Lreav's sister?"

"Yes, Lreav's sister," I snarled. "Who just _happens _to be completely in lust with Gippal. Funny coincidence that, don't you think?"

"You know Rikku, I think you might be reading I bit much into that," Yuna said doubtfully.

"How would you know?" I shot back petulantly. "You weren't there."

"No, but it seems to be that –"

I raised my voice to drown out her words. "_Then _he tried acting all innocent about the Elhandra thing and make out that _I_ was in the wrong. How screwed up is that?"

Yuna was beginning to look irritated. "Rikku, you're obviously telling me all of this for a reason. Do you want my opinion or not?"

I bit back the sharp words that I wanted to throw at my cousin. I knew this wasn't Yuna's fault and that the sudden fury I was feeling was completely irrational. She was trying to help me and I was, quite frankly, acting like a complete brat. And at the end of the day, it wasn't Yuna I was angry at.

I took a deep breath and met her cool gaze, hoping I looked as apologetic as I fellt. "I'm sorry, Yunie. I didn't mean to shout at you."

My cousin smiled gently; it always amazed me how quickly she could forgive people their transgressions. "If you can't shout at family, who can you shout at?"

Remembering the amount of times I'd ended up yelling at Brother or my Pops, I found myself grinning sheepishly in agreement.

"So, Rikku," Yuna leaned her chin in her hands and gave me a penetratingly direct look. "What was it about the argument that _really _upset you?"

I ran a finger along the rim of the screen. "I … well I asked him – I asked him to say – to say that he … I ask him to say that he loved me."

Yuna's face instantly became lined with sympathy. "Oh, Rikku."

"And he … he couldn't say it, Yunie!" I wailed, suddenly feeling wretched.

The lines deepened, becoming chasms.

"Three little words. All he had to say were three little words and he couldn't even do that …" I trailed off and looked down at my hands, blinking rapidly. Where the unwelcome moisture in my eyes had come from, I couldn't say. I hadn't cried in years – not since that day when I was ten years old and I'd asked Brother why we didn't have a mother like other families. Crying over the situation with Gippal seemed completely ludicrous and yet the tears wouldn't go away.

"Even if he didn't really feel like that about me, at least he could have said the words," I whispered finally.

"Would you really have wanted him to do that though?" Yuna asked softly.

I considered her words and realised she was right. Even worse than Gippal not loving me was the thought of him lying about it so as not to hurt me. I hate dishonesty – it always makes things so much more complicated.

"I just really needed to hear him say it," I confessed, sniffling slightly. Those stubborn tears were still threatening to fall and I was determined not to give them the satisfaction. "After everything's that happened … I guess I just thought he felt the same as me."

"And now you don't?"

I raised my head. "Well … no …"

My words faded into the silence. Yuna was looking thoughtful and I wondered what she was thinking.

"Do you remember when Gippal was arrested?" she asked suddenly, after a few moments had passed.

I was so startled by this abrupt change of subject that I stared at her without speaking.

Yuna smiled at my expression. "Of course you do. Well, what you might not know is that while Gippal was imprisoned, I visited him several times."

I hadn't known that. I think Gippal had mentioned Yuna but he'd certainly never told me that she had been a frequent visitor.

"At first I went out of a sense of duty," Yuna continued. "I felt horrible about what was happening to him – of course we knew he was innocent – but the politics of the situation … Anyway, after the first few visits we started talking about other things beside who the real terrorist was. And there was one subject that kept coming up."

"Which was?" I asked slowly, still not sure what she was driving at.

Yuna's eyes crinkled at the corners. "You," she told me simply.

I blinked, the moisture fading from my eyes at this unexpected development. "Me?" I echoed.

Yuna nodded. "I don't think he even knew he was doing it, but ultimately, every conversation ended up being a conversation about you."

I fiddled with the end of one of my braids. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think it's important. Because I think you need to hear it. And most of all, because I think you need to know you've jumped to a rather hasty conclusion." The words were gentle but there was no mistaking the rebuke in them and I blushed.

"Talk to him, Rikku," Yuna urged after I didn't reply. "Let him explain – I think you owe him that much. And remember, just because he isn't ready to say the words, doesn't mean he doesn't feel the emotions."

She talked a lot of sense, this cousin of mine. Although she was only nineteen, she seemed so much older – so much more mature. I suppose it was thanks to the responsibility she'd always taken upon herself; first training as a Summoner, then her pilgrimage to defeat Sin, then her journey to be reunited with Tidus. I admired her greatly and was proud to be able to say she was my cousin. And more than all that, I was eternally grateful that my stubborn pride had backed down long enough to enable me to ask for her help.

I didn't know if I completely believed Yuna's words, but they'd certainly made me think. And they'd given me fresh hope that things weren't as black as I had imagined. Could she be right? Could it be that Gippal simply wasn't ready to make the big declaration of love?

I decided that I was sick of wallowing in uncertainty. I wanted to find out.


	6. Chapter Five: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Hope you enjoy this latest addition to the story. Further updates might be longer in coming because I'm moving back down to Uni this weekend and it might take a while for me to get the internet set up in my house. So you are forewarned : )

Thanks to **Pick 'n' mix**, **seelenspiel**, **FairyIce**, **bluetinkerbell**, **MoMo-ChAn1**, **IridescentFlight**, **Teh Healist**, **Jezzi**, **Kingleby**, **, Kookyz**, **WingZeroChick**, **kairiyuna14**, **Raven55**, **Procrastinator-starting2moro**, **Kyker**, **Kotono116**, **Kumiko Eharu**, **Twelethteg **and **Black Eyed Mistress** for reviewing the last chapter! Hope you let me know what you think about this new one ; )

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Five: Gippal_

* * *

The morning after the fight I spent all my time thinking about Rikku. The reports that Treilad, Freelan and Avrin were giving might well have been written backwards for the amount of attention I paid them. It didn't help that every time I managed to get her out of my mind for more than five seconds, Freelan asked me where 'the Lady Rikku' was and enquired as to why she wasn't at the meeting.

After Avrin had been forced to repeat himself for the eighth time, I called the meeting to a close, apologising and blaming my lack of concentration on the stress of the last few weeks. Freelan seemed completely convinced; he bounded out of the room to go and work on one his 'projects'. Avrin just looked confused, but I hadn't spoken in Al Bhed and I think he'd struggled to follow my words but Treilad was watching my shrewdly.

I raised an eyebrow mockingly, daring him to comment but he simply held my gaze calmly and silently. In the end it was me who stood and hurried out of the room, unable to bare his scrutiny any longer.

I hoped a brisk walk around the temple would help me to get my chaotic thoughts into order, but instead I kept finding myself drawn inexorably back to thinking about Rikku.

I wasn't stupid; I knew I'd screwed up royally. Rikku was probably never going to talk to me again and even if she did we'd most likely be right back to the rocky, starting point of our relationship.

And just when everything had finally started to come together ... it was so damn frustrating!

What was even more galling was the fact that I could have avoided this whole mess if I'd only given her what she had wanted. If I'd only said those three not-so-little-words ...

I love you.

I'd meant to; I'd really meant to. I'd opened my mouth to confirm my feelings but the words had become trapped in my throat and all that had emerged were weak, useless platitudes that had not impressed Rikku at all.

My feet carried me out of Djose Temple into the bright sunlight beyond. The temple's lightning flickered restlessly above me but I hardly noticed, meandering across the rough ground until I had reached the bridge.

It was here that we'd met again, during the early days of the Gullwings hunt for Vegnagun. When she, Yuna and Paine had first come inside the temple, I'd only noticed Yuna. After all, she _was _one of the most famous women in the world thanks to that little issue of defeating Sin, so I freely admit to being a bit awed to find her approaching my small, fairly insignificant organisation. It was only when they'd joined me outside on the bridge that I noticed Yuna's companions - and found that I actually knew both of them.

Seeing Paine again had been surprising enough. I hadn't heard anything from her since that day on the Mi'ihen Highroad when Shuyin-possessed-Nooj had shot all of us. I remember being happy that she was alive but also puzzled by the fact that she wasn't letting on our past history. Paine had always been close-mouthed but at the time I couldn't think of any reason why she'd want to hide her relationship with me from Yuna and Rikku. Still, I respected her privacy; if anyone knew about keeping secrets it was an Al Bhed.

Then there was Rikku. The annoying little girl I'd grown up with, who'd never given me the time of day and who, if I was honest, I hadn't exactly spent very much time thinking about. Suddenly she was a lot older, a lot taller and a lot – a _lot_ – prettier.

Yeah, the fact that she'd become damn cute was one of the first things I noticed about her. So shoot me - I _am _a guy. It's an inbuilt reflex!

Unfortunately, that's about as good as things got between me and Rikku back then. A handful of surprised greetings and then she dived straight back into the old antagonism and I was forcibly reminded of how irritating her lack of attention towards me was. Suffice to say it was probably a good thing that the Gullwings didn't stick around for very long after their interview. Otherwise Vegnagun and Shuyin might have had two less Al Bhed to contend with.

I leaned against the side of the bridge and folded my arms across my chest, my mind still fixed on the petite blonde girl who'd become so important to me.

Spira, I'd really blown things this time. The expression on her face by the end of our conversation ... man, I'd never seen her looking so defeated before. It was really disconcerting. I mean, I knew how to cope when we were arguing; I'd learnt how to give as good as I got. Fighting with Rikku was one of my favourite pass-times, particularly now it had become less antagonistic and more teasing. But a Rikku who ran away; a Rikku who said she needed time on her own - that was completely alien to me.

And I had no idea how to react.

And therein lay the root of my problem.

That I had to rectify this situation, there was no doubt. Although what Rikku had been expecting of me had come as a surprise, I knew I'd really upset her this time and it was going to take more than an apology to set things right between us. Unfortunately, that was as far as my thinking went; I knew the 'what', but I had no idea about the 'how'.

I gazed out across the bridge, barely seeing the temple or the mountains of Djose beyond, but my mind kept drawing a stubborn blank. After a good five minutes had passed in which all I had gained was a slight chill, I was forced to admit defeat. Obviously, I wasn't going to work this out on my own, no matter how long I stood on the bridge. As much as I hated to admit it ... I needed help.

But who could I ask about Rikku? Or to be more exact: who could I ask for romantic advice without dying of embarrassment?

The list was surprisingly short. While I have a lot of friends, there are very few that I'd actually be comfortable sharing such personal information with. Which brought me down to three people: Treilad, Nooj and Baralai.

Trielad has known me for the longest. After my dad had died, he looked out for me and then when I rose to prominence with the Machine Faction, he willing accepted me as his superior. Out of everyone in Spira, he probably knew me the best and yet ... and yet something held me back from talking to him about Rikku. I think it was because Treilad had been happily married for the last twenty-five odd years. He and his wife Sera had been childhood sweethearts and had married young, even for Al Bhed. Over the intervening years, they'd remained besotted and I'd never met a more devoted couple. Unfortunately, this meant Treilad was unlikely to have experienced the kind of problems I was having with Rikku and besides, there was just something fundamentally creepy about asking your surrogate father for love advice.

So that left arguably my best friends, Nooj and Baralai - both currently involved in something highly political in Bevelle. Now Nooj is someone I'd willing follow to the ends of Spira. He's one of the people I respect most in the world and I wouldn't want anyone else watching my back.

That said, he scares the _lnyb_ (crap) out of me.

Nooj is way too intense for my liking. Every time I picture myself asking him for romantic advice, for some reason I always end up becoming impaled on his sword or running away in terror. He's a great guy; there's no denying that but come on, he _is _a Deathseeker. And on the romantic front, his credentials are equally as dubious. He's reputedly involved with _Leblanc _for Spira's sake. Damn, even just _thinking_ about that woman makes my skin crawl. And some of the things Rikku's told me about little 'Noojie- Woojie' ... eugh ...

So that discounts Nooj, which means there's only really one option left:

Baralai.

Baralai. Huh, the more I thought about it, the more perfect a choice Baralai seemed. Not only was he wise and endlessly patient, he was also used to being talking at for hours on end. And then there was the fact that he was sensitive to people's emotions – so maybe he had more of a chance of working out exactly what Rikku was feeling so I could apologise and make everything better again.

Of course, the only flaw in my theory was that while Baralai _was_ all of these things, he was also the High Priest of New Yevon. Meaning he might not be the most experience person in the ways of romance … if you know what I mean. To be honest, I'm not sure – we've never really talked about stuff like that …

I sighed; why did everything have to be so needlessly complicated? Treilad, Nooj or Baralai … no, it would _have _to be Baralai. He was the only one I could see myself walking away from with at least a shred of dignity still intact. And besides, you don't have to have sampled the product to understand how it works, you know?

Mind made up, I pushed away from the side of the bridge and walked back towards the temple.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and I was beginning to regret my rash decision. As I sat before the console screen in my office and waited for Baralai to accept my connection, I got the sinking feeling that I was about to suffer one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.

Before I could do anything to rectify the situation, the screen sprang into life, revealing the tanned face and shock of white that belonged to Praetor Baralai of New Yevon.

My first thought was that he looked tired. Although Baralai was only twenty-one, his dark skin was paler than normal and there were lines of strain around his eyes. I knew he had been working hard but recently it seemed that every time I saw him he looked five years older. It worried me more than I wanted to admit.

"Hey, Baralai."

"Gippal! How are you settling back in?"

"Oh, you know – same old, same old." I shrugged dismissively. "Hows about you? You look tired. Nooj been workin' you too hard again?"

Baralai smiled wirily. "We don't have much choice, do we?"

Instantly I felt guilty. Baralai, Nooj and Yuna were running themselves into the ground, trying to hold Spira together. A situation they wouldn't have been in if it hadn't been for Lreav's desperate need to seek revenge against me.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Nonsense." Baralai's countenance became deadly serious. "It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for other people's actions, Gippal."

I looked down suddenly, unable to bear his scrutiny. I'd forgotten Baralai's annoying trait of being able to see right into the heart of things and now the conversation had taken an unexpected and definitely un-welcomed turn.

When he saw how uncomfortable he'd made me, Baralai gracefully changed the subject.

"So, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

His words were curious and I understood his hidden interest. After all, it had been under a week since I'd last seen him and with the current political unrest, social calls had largely become a thing of the past.

The problem was, I wasn't really sure where to begin. It wasn't like I made a habit of asking other people for advice and to be honest, I was kind of ashamed that I was having to come to my best friend about a problem with my sort-of-girlfriend.

_Just remember who you're doing this for,_ I told myself sternly. _This is for Rikku. You screwed up and now it's payback time._

"Gippal?"

I came back down to Spira to found that my friend was eyeing me carefully, as if I was a particularly vicious monster that needed to be handled from a distance.

Then, apparently reading something in my silence, his face softened. "There's something wrong, isn't there?"

Damn my perceptive friend. I made a mental note never to challenge Baralai to a game of Sphere Break.

Still, he _had_ given me the opening I'd been floundering around for – and I wasn't about to let that go to waste. Best to get the humiliation over with as quickly as possible.

"Yeah – yeah, there kinda is."

"Well it's obviously nothing serious …" Baralai said slowly, " … or you would have told me straight away." He folded his hands in front of him, in an unconsciously priestly gesture. "So, what is it?"

Normally his fatherly attitude would have amused me – I often said Baralai acted fifty years older than he was – but for once my humour had deserted me. This situation with Rikku … it just wasn't funny.

Unfortunately, that didn't mean I didn't have to talk about it. Baralai was watching me expectantly and I knew I had to say something before he starting probing closer for the answer to his question. And forget that gentle demeanour and kind face; behind them Baralai has all the skill of an expert interrogator. Trust me – I've been there. And I've got the mental scars to prove it.

But just how do you go about admitting to your best friend that you need help with a woman? I knew Baralai had too much class to simply burst out laughing as I probably would, but he was devious in other ways. Spira, what if he decided to record this conversation? And then play it over and _over_ at social gatherings, in front of all our friends, with them all laughing at my complete ineptitude with Rikku …

Who was I kidding? This was _Baralai_, for Spira's sake. He might have been devious but he wasn't cruel. No, the incident my paranoia had created was far more likely to be something that _I'd_ do … completely free of malicious intent, you know?

My panicked thoughts chased each other around and around in my head and when I opened my mouth to reply to Baralai's gentle query, the only words that managed to shove their way out were, "I need your help."

"I'd rather gathered that," Baralai's cultured voice was endlessly patient. "It's the specifics I'm having more trouble with."

I squirmed in my seat like a child under the disapproving gaze of his parent. As dramatic as it sounds, what I was about to say was one of the hardest things I'd ever admitted. "I … I need your help … I need your help with – with a … with a girl."

There – I'd said it. And I'd mumbled it in such a way that _maybe _he wouldn't know what I was talking about. Then again, if that was true, Baralai also wouldn't be able to give me any advice … and even worse, I might have to _repeat_ that horrifically embarrassing sentence!

Luckily, Baralai was either a pretty smart guy, or he had super-human hearing because by the stunned look in his face, I'm fairly certain he understood my jumbled words.

"You need help … with a girl?"

Oh yes, he'd understood all right. Boy, was I in for it now.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, refusing to look at him. "Laugh it up."

But Baralai didn't laugh. Instead there was a brief, thoughtful silence as he came to terms with my question and then he asked, "Anyone I know?"

I was so surprise by his lack of amusement that I stared at him dumbly. True, I hadn't expected Baralai to fall off his chair and roll around on the floor at the hilarity of the situation, but I _had _at least braced myself for _some_ kind of reaction. I certainly hadn't foreseen him calmly taking it all in his stride!

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. I bet he was just waiting for the opportune moment – when I was least expecting it – and then the humour would invade. I mean, how could he _not _find this funny? Me, something of an expert with women, asking him for love advice? Did I need to remind him about my reputation?

"Judging by your silence, it _is _someone I know. And judging by the lack of women that we _both_ know that aren't either married or a completely illogical match with you … I'd hazard a guess that you're talking about a small, blonde Al Bhed who helped to save the world from Vegnagun?"

Damn, this guy was _good_. Either that or the status of mine and Rikku's relationship wasn't as secret as I'd first thought.

"Uh, well, maybe … yeah," was my less than inspired response.

"I thought so," Baralai smiled contentedly. "I knew something was different the last time I saw you two together."

_Good for you, _I thought uncharitably, his smugness irritating me.

"So let me hazard a guess … you've done something to upset her and now you want to know what to make things better?"

Oh, Baralai was good, all right. Annoyingly so. I'd forgotten how insufferably self-satisfied he could be sometimes.

"Seems like you've got it all figured out," I said grumpily, slouching down in my seat.

Baralai immediately looked contrite. "Sorry Gippal, I didn't mean to – look, why don't you tell me what happened?"

And because I just wanted to get it all out in the open, I did. I told him everything in as much detail as I could bear. I'm not very good at talking about my emotions – especially not to another guy – and the account of mine and Rikku's relationship that came out was a bit garbled but I think Baralai got the gist of it. That a liked Rikku a lot but when she'd started pushing the 'love' issue, I'd panicked.

"So Rikku told you she loves you, but you didn't say it back?" Baralai concluded slowly.

"I _couldn't_!" I argued defensively. "I couldn't say it! I wanted to but …"

"But …?"

I shook my head, unable to respond to his question. It was the same question that had been churning around in my mind since the argument with Rikku, and I still didn't have any kind of answer. I _knew_ what I felt for Rikku went well beyond friendship, so why in Spira's name hadn't I been able to say it?

"Well, I can see why Rikku's upset with you," Baralai observed after a moment of silence. "By all accounts, saying I love you is a very serious thing for women."

I scowled at him. "When did you become the expert?"

Baralai smiled serenely, refusing to let my bad-humour upset him. "I listen, Gippal, I listen. And I'm aware."

"Well good for you. Doesn't help me out though, does it?"

Baralai's expression hardened slightly. "Well your attitude certainly doesn't. Do you want my advice or not?"

Chastised, I flushed guiltily. Baralai was doing me a favour – and I was being a complete pain. No wonder I was in so much trouble with Rikku if this was what she had to put up with!

"Sorry," I muttered. "I'm just … I'm just frustrated."

"I'd gathered that," Baralai said dryly.

"All right, all right. You said you had some advice?"

Baralai inclined his white head. "But first I have a question."

I braced myself.

"Do you love Rikku?"

Oh yeah, that was a nasty one. For once Baralai cut straight to the root of the problem. I wondered if he had some place he had to be soon and so didn't have time to be messing around with me.

Did I love Rikku? Every nerve in my body scoffed at such an idea. Of course I didn't_ love _her – I was only nineteen for Spira's sake. I had plenty more girls to sample before I even thought about settling down! The whole idea was ludicrous. Completely ludicrous … you know?

And yet part of me – an increasingly large part of me – felt very different. And ultimately, it was that part that forced me to admit the truth.

"Yeah," I said heavily. "Yeah, I guess I do."

For some reason this answer seemed to please Baralai. "Well that makes things somewhat easier. Now I have just one more question: why do you think you couldn't tell her that?"

I frowned at him. "I've already told you – I don't know! I just couldn't say –"

"I know what you said, but I want you to really think about it. You already know it's not because you don't feel that way, so what else could there be that's stopping you from telling Rikku that you love her?"

There it was – that same question again. The one that I'd been racking my brains over for hours and yet still couldn't come up with an answer for. I felt my irritation growing; why did Baralai keep bringing this up?

"I _don't know_," I repeated sharply. "I really don't know! The words – I just couldn't say the damn words, okay? I just couldn't say them. Is that such a big deal? Spira, it's not as if that's the kind of thing you say everyday, you know? _I_ haven't said it in years – not since my dad …" I trailed off, a horrible comprehension dawning.

Baralai watched me sympathetically.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, _no_. I was_ not _having parental issues … was I? No – that was _totally_ screwed up. I mean, sure I missed my parents and having them die when I was a kid hadn't helped matters … but that had absolutely _nothing_ to do with a lack of being able to commit to Rikku.

… Did it?

Oh, Spira … what if that _was _what all this was about? Had the loss of my parents made me afraid of making further connections to other people? In the fear that they'd leave me, like my parents had? Was that why the words 'I love you' hadn't crossed my lips once in the last ten years?

I had a horrible feeling that it was.

Damn, I'd turned into a complete basket case – and I was on the verge of blowing everything with Rikku. Could me life _get _much worse?

Baralai cleared his throat softly, drawing my flagging attention back to him. "Talk to her," he advised me gently. "Tell her what you've just realised. I think she'll understand."

Oh yes, it_ could _get worse. Not only was I completely screwed up emotionally but now I had to talk about it too. And to the one person who's opinion mattered to me above all others.

"Talk to her, Gippal. She deserves an explanation."

I wanted to argue; I wanted to protest that Baralai was being ridiculous – that there wasn't any kind of problem there that I needed to talk about. Particularly not to Rikku. And yet … and yet deep down I knew he was right. And that talking was perhaps the one thing that would drag me out of this conflict with all my body parts intact.

I stared at my quiet, unobtrusive friend and wondered when he had become so mature. Gone was the inexperienced soldier in the Crimson League and in his place was a competent leader who instilled such loyalty in his followers that they would obey his every command without question. Granted, not such a good thing when said leader was under the influence of a spirit set on wreaking vengeance against Spira, but in the rebuilding in the wake of both Vegnagun and Lreav, it was proving invaluable.

And on top of all of that, Baralai had also proved to be a rather unexpected Guru of Romance who had probably just saved my relationship with Rikku. I looked on him with newfound respect and thanked everything that I believed in that I'd chosen to speak to him instead of Nooj or Treilad.

Finally, I had made a good decision. And by taking his advice to heart, I could make another one.

* * *

I emerged from my office with one goal in mind: I was going to march up to the room Rikku had taken over and talk to her. And I wasn't going to take no for an answer. It was time we got everything out in the open; it was time we were completely honest; it was time I told her how –

I slapped open the door to my quarters but before I'd even stepped inside, the internal door to Rikku's room slid open and a familiar figure stepped out into the central room. She took a few steps across the floor and then her head lifted, her eyes met mine, and she faltered.

I was so surprised to see her that I stared at her blankly, unable to find anything to say. She stared back, equally silent, her pretty face looking tired and drawn. Her blonde hair hung in a loose waterfall down her back and despite her obvious weariness I thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

Suddenly I knew what I had to say. "Rikku … we –"

Apparently, so did she. " – need to talk," she finished, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

I smiled tentatively back, a sudden inrush of emotion telling me that while there were still things to work through, everything was going to be okay now.

"Who wants to go first?"


	7. Chapter Six: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Okay - first I want to apologise for the long wait for this chapter. A nasty combination of real-life and writers block conspired to keep this chapter from being written. Second - apologies if the content of this chapter isn't very good. I'm kind of stabbing around in the dark here, never have been in love myself or having had to deal with the whole 'I love you' dilemna - so it may not be very realistic. Thirdly - sorry if there are more spelling/grammatical mistakes than usual. I had to rush the beta-reading job to get this posted before sleep overtook me ; )

As always, huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter - it's because of you that this story is still being written!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Six: Rikku_

* * *

"_Who wants to go first_?"

Not me, _not me_! Setting my thoughts in order in front of Yuna was one thing, admitting said thoughts to Gippal was something completely different. Now that I was standing in front of him I suddenly found the ability to speak had completely deserted me. I opened my mouth but the words huddled somewhere in the region of my throat and refused to join us out in the open air.

"I guess it's me then," Gippal said after a pause, answering his own question. I risked a quick glance up at him and found he was looking about the room, his green eye narrowed thoughtfully. Making the most of this unexpected opportunity to study him, I traced the lines of his face carefully. He looked tired, I decided, and also nervous – as nervous as I was feeling.

For some strange reason this knowledge reassured me. If Gippal was as anxious about this whole situation as I was then it suggested he had something to worry about. Which further suggested that he felt he'd done something wrong, or there was something he wanted to correct.

… _I love you_ …

The words floated tantalisingly through my mind but before they could lodge completely in my mind, I pushed them aside. If I started thinking like that again then Gippal and I might as well admit defeat before we even started talking. I had to be patient … and reign in my emotions before they got me into even deeper trouble.

"Here." Before I could react, Gippal had reached down and _taken my hand in his_! His strong fingers wrapped around mine as he lead me over towards the small table and chairs that stood in the corner of his bedroom and even if I had wanted to break his grip, I wouldn't have been able to.

I'd not noticed the table and chairs when I'd barrelled through Gippal's room the previous evening. To be honest, I hadn't really noticed anything at all – not even the large bed that was undoubtedly the centrepiece of the whole ensemble.

As soon as I started thinking about Gippal's bed, I found myself staring at it. Abruptly my cheeks flushed darkly and I prayed to whatever remnants of the Fayth remained, that Gippal hadn't suddenly gained the ability to read minds.

"Have a seat," he said as I tore my eyes away from his bed and tried to pretend nothing was amiss by slumping down into the proffered chair without really looking at it. While I succeeded in disguising the fact that I had been gazing at Gippal's bed, it was only because my rear end hit the edge of the chair and I gave an undignified squawk as I fought not to slip off.

Blushing once more, I busied myself with tucking my wayward hair behind my ears as Gippal slid into the seat opposite me and rested his hands on the tabletop.

There was a very long moment of silence.

"Right."

I jumped as Gippal's decisive tone broke through my reverie. Raising my eyes from where they had become fixed to the table, I saw that he was watching me, an unreadable expression on his face. Once again I fought the urge to blush.

"Right," he said again, less forcefully this time. Now that he'd started he didn't seem to know where else he could go and once more his words trailed off into silence.

He looked so pained, so helpless, that almost before I knew what I was doing, I'd opened my mouth and blurted, "I'm sorry."

Gippal stared at me. I stared back at him and tried to understand where those words had come from. 'I'm sorry'? What was I sorry for? Did I just have such a guilty conscience that every time I opened my mouth with nothing else to say, apologies spilled out?

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

I took a deep breath and thought rapidly. It seemed that I had two options: I could either pretend that Gippal has misheard and I had said something _completely_ different, or I could elaborate upon a point that I wasn't even certain I'd meant to make.

The temptation to prevaricate was incredibly strong, but thanks to my conversation with Yuna I found myself wavering. After all, if I told another lie then I'd be achieving absolutely nothing. Perhaps it really would be better to be honest – even if this particular line of conversation wasn't one I'd initially intended to pursue.

I cleared my throat, the motion sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet of the room. I could do this. I was one of only a handful of people who had faced down Sin and survived. I could handle a little conversation about my emotions.

"I'm sorry … I'm sorry about yesterday. About shouting at you. I – I kinda overreacted … a bit."

Gippal stared at me. There was an endless moment of silence that was so awkward I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.

Then, he burst out laughing.

It was my turn to stare as my humiliation rapidly gave way to anger. I was trying to apologise and mend the rift between us … and _he was laughing_!

Gippal must have noticed the darkening of my expression because his laughter trailed off and he attempted to look apologetic. "I wasn't laughing at you."

I glared up at him. "Yes you were!"

"No, I –"

"I'm glad you think this mess is so amusing!"

I had expected Gippal to shout back and that we would descend into one of our familiar arguments, but instead he simply rolled his eyes and grinned at me. I stared back uncertainly, thrown by his strange reaction.

"Oh, come on Rikku – you have to admit it was pretty funny."

_Funny_? Funny was not the word I would have chosen. Humiliating, frustrating, upsetting, mortifying … any one of those who have seemed fairly obvious, but funny? What in Spira's name was Gippal talking about?

And why wasn't I yelling at him?

"I mean, you over-react 'a bit' and I get hit by Hurricane Rikku? Damn, I'd hate to see you when you're really angry."

Suddenly, remarkably – _unbelievably_ – I understood why he had laughed. And to make matters even worse, I felt a smile creeping around the edges of my own mouth. Was I going to let him get away with it? the self-righteous part inside of me demanded incredulously and for a moment I wavered. Then I remember how much trouble that particular aspect of my personality had got me into in the past and I firmly shoved it to one side. After all, my characterisation of events_ had _been rather unrealistic and yes, if I was forced to admit it, funny.

"You'd never survive the Wrath-of-Rikku," I told him, affecting an airy expression. Sure, I might share Gippal's opinion _now_, but there was no way I was going to suffer a loss of face in front of him.

"Probably not," he agreed with a grin.

"_Definitely_ not," I corrected him.

"I'd better not piss you off again then."

His light remark wasn't intended to make me feel bad, but it brought me forcibly back to the reasons behind this particular conversation and my spirits plummeted again. My eyes sank to the level of the tabletop and I started fiddling with the ends of my scarf. "I really am sorry about yesterday." For some reason, the more I said it, the easier it was to say. I didn't begrudge the words anymore … if anything, I actually meant them.

Warm fingers wrapped around mine, stilling their movements. I froze for a few seconds and then looked up to see Gippal watching me seriously. Such an intense expression seemed out of place on his normally merry face and it caught my attention instantly.

"Rikku … I'm sorry too." His fingers twined through mine and without conscious thought I let him draw our hands together in the centre of the table. "I'm sorry that I upset you. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't – it's not that I don't _feel _that way, it's just I haven't - I mean … ah Spira, I'm making a complete mess of this."

He took a deep breath and tried again. "Rikku … I'm not tryin' to make excuses, but what you wanted me to say – what you still want me to say – it's a big thing for me."

"It's fairly big for me too!" I protested.

"I know, I know but … but you've said it right? I bet you've said it to Yuna, or your dad – or Brother."

I frowned, not sure where he was heading with this. In fact, this whole conversation wasn't turning out at all as I'd imagined it. "I guess …"

"Sure you have. The thing is … I – I haven't. Not in a _really_ long time. Not since my dad died."

He was right – it _did _sound an awful lot like an excuse and yet, gazing into his penetrating green eye I found myself believing him utterly. After all, wasn't this what Yuna had told me, that there would be a reason?

"I guess I haven't really let anyone get close to me since then." Gippal shook his head ruefully. "Spira – that sounds so clichéd."

"Not even Nooj or Baralai?"

"They're friends – my best friends – but they're not family."

"_I'm_ not family either," I couldn't help pointing out.

"Yeah, but you're Rikku." His gaze softened. "You're different."

I wanted to ask _how_ I was different, but to be honest, I didn't need to. What I did need to ask, however, was the question that had been burning away inside of me since our argument. "If I'm different … why can't you say it to me?"

Gippal was silent for a few moments. "I want to," he said finally. "And maybe some point down the line, I will. But if I say it now, I'd only be sayin' it to make you happy – and as nice and _safe_ as that sounds," he smiled wryly, "I wanna be honest with you."

He was saying all the right things and I found myself weakening, but there was still that seed of residual doubt in my mind. "So it's not because you don't feel … ?"

"No," he said instantly. "No, no, no, no, no! Rikku – Rikku you are _everythin'_ to me. You're smart, funny, beautiful … but it's more than that. I _need _you, Rikku. Spira knows you're the only girl who's ever been able to put up with, keep up with, and constantly challenge, me. Sure, sometimes I wanna kill you, but that's only because you can get under my skin like no one else on this planet." He paused and looked directly at me. "As for those three not-so-little words, well, just 'cause I'm not ready to say them yet don't mean I don't feel them, you know?"

It was just what Yuna had tried to bash through my thick head. My wonderfully wise cousin had been completely right about everything – and from that moment on I resolved never to question her advice again.

"Please don't be upset, Rikku."

He'd mistaken my silence for unhappiness and I hastened to correct him. "I'm not."

He didn't seem to hear me.

" 'Cos it'd be understandable if you were. I know it's not the explanation you'd been hopin' for –"

"Gippal, I'm not upset."

"And after yesterday, I know how important it is to you –"

I stared at him in disbelief. Was he never going to shut up? Or had I finally met someone who could talk as much rubbish as I could?

" – so I'm sorry if what I said upset you even more –"

Oh yes, Gippal was definitely running in first place for the verbal incontinence prize.

" – but I wanted to be honest with you and –"

"Gippal!" I jerked his hands to get his attention. He stopped talking and blinked at me curiously. Before he could open his mouth again, I slid around onto the seat next to his and cupped his face in my hands.

"I'm not upset," I whispered fiercely. "But I will be if you don't shut up."

But of course, Gippal's a _man_ and they can never be relied upon to do as their told. So, I took matters – quite literally – into my own hands, and I kissed him.

It was the first time I'd solely initiated a kiss but it was as wonderful as always. Kissing Gippal was quickly becoming my favourite pass-time and now that I knew that everything had been cleared up and I understood how he felt, a bubble of happiness welled up inside of me, making it even better. In fact, if air hadn't been an issue, I'm quite sure I could have stayed there all day.

As it was – as all good things – the kiss had to come to an end. As if on some weird mental agreement, we drew back at the same time but still remained close; my hands were still resting against his cheeks and his had risen to encircle my waist.

He went to speak again – did the boy never learn? – and I press my finger to his lips to quiet him.

"I love you," I told him seriously, without blushing. In truth, the words fell easily from my lips; they felt natural to say and an idle part of me wondered why it was that Gippal was having such trouble. Shoving the unwelcome doubt aside, I added quickly, "And I'll wait."

Gippal smiled at me. It was a sweet smile, rather than one of his trademark cocky grins and I knew that this was a side of Gippal that he shared with only a few people. "When did we get so grownup?" he asked, sounding a little wistful.

I cocked my head to one side and was about to object when I recognised the truth in his question. We _were _acting like adults. _I _was acting like an adult …

Had falling in love with Gippal really changed me that much? Well, just the fact that I could think about it in terms of 'falling in love' was proof enough. Mere weeks ago I had been terrified by the thought of falling in love – particularly with Gippal – and now I was calmly admitting it to myself, and out-loud to him.

I guess I really had changed. For some reason this thought saddened me slightly. I mean, I know I can't go on being a child forever, but there's something delightfully simple about childhood. You certainly don't have the same problems and responsibilities as a ten year-old as you do when you're an adult. And Spira knows things were a lot simpler when the biggest thing I had to worry about was if Brother was going to notice if I pulled one of his toys apart to build a new machina invention.

Then again, childhood had lacked certain things. Like adventure … and romance.

"I think it was when we saved the world for the first time."

Gippal chuckled at my response and bringing his hands up, he tugged gently on my arms. I let him pull me across onto his chair, so that my head was resting against his chest, his chin was nestled on my hair.

We both gazed out across the room in companionable silence.

"Are we okay now?" Gippal asked finally.

I looked down at where our entwined hands were resting in my lap. "We're okay."

Another few moments of quiet passed before Gippal spoke up again.

"You know, this was our first major fight as a couple?"

I smiled, even though I knew he couldn't see my expression. "Are we? A couple, I mean?"

"Well, we could just be two people of opposite genders who alternate between fightin' and kissin' – no strings and all that," I felt Gippal shrug. "Now that's settled, I wonder if I should give Elhandra a call …"

Even though I _knew_ he was teasing, a shiver of fear still rattled through me. Angry with myself, I squashed it as fast as I could. Gippal had lots of female friends – I _had_ to get over these irrational bursts of jealously. The previous days argument could have been diluted somewhat if I hadn't overreacted so much at his mention of Elhandra. After all, Gippal had been nothing but faithful to me … and if it came to the point where he wasn't, well there wouldn't be enough to left of him to think about having any more affairs.

"While you're doing that, I think I might see if Freelan needs a hand with Experiment O …"

Gippal's arms tightened around me. "Don't you dare."

I arched an eyebrow, inwardly thrilled by his possessive response. Seems I wasn't the only to be struck by the green-eyed monster. "I was just going to see if he needed any of my professional expertise."

"Well don't. Freelan can manage quite happily on his own. Besides, his enough in awe of you already."

"Jealous?" I asked archly.

"No," Gippal responded too quickly. "I just don't want him gettin' a crush on _my_ girlfriend."

_His_ girlfriend? If it weren't for the fact that he'd just called me his girlfriend for the first time, I would have dragged him up on that remark. What did he think I was, a cushion?

"Oh, so I guess we are a couple then."

Gippal nodded into my hair. "Guess so."

As I leaned into Gippal's embrace, I was under no illusions that everything between us was perfect. There was still a ways to go before things were even just completely back to normal. And though I tried not to let it, I knew that no matter what he felt, the fact that he couldn't tell me he loved me was going to continue to worry me.

We still had a long way to go in building our relationship.

But then he _had _just called me his girlfriend … so maybe things weren't so black as I had painted them.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Gippal and I were in the room that had once been the Chamber of the Fayth. It still felt a bit weird being in there; even though I hadn't been part of Yuna's pilgrimage at Djose Temple, I _had _seen the temples at Bevelle and Macalania and I knew enough about the Fayth from talking to Tidus. Even though academically I knew the Chamber had long since been deserted by the Fayth, I couldn't shake the vague feeling that we were being watched.

Gippal had asked me to give Experiment O a closer inspection, while he worked on some reports at the desk that was set up to the left hand side of the door. I took to the task eagerly – anything machina-related is good enough for me – but after a while, I found my attention wandering, and while I tinkered with the machina, I watched Gippal at the desk.

This was another side to him that I hadn't seen before. Gippal had always struck me as a fairly flippant kind of guy, but now he was attending to his reports with a studied interest. I don't think he even remembered that I was in the same room as him.

Sat at that desk, his single eye scanning yet another document – he looked so mature and commanding. My thoughts were just about to return to their earlier vein of missing my lost childhood when the question of maturity sparked another memory.

"Hey Gippal, have you spoken to anyone from outside the temple recently?"

"How recently are we talkin'?"

I fiddled with one of the arms of the machina. "Within the last few days."

There was a short pause. "I spoke to Baralai yesterday."

For some reason, he sounded slightly guilty, but I shrugged it off. "Did he bring you any news from Bevelle?"

"Nope."

"Oh." I twisted the machina arm down and frowned at it. "So … you don't know about the wedding then?"

Gippal finally put down his papers and spun around in his chair so that he was facing me. "Weddin'?"

I beamed at him. "Tidus and Yuna are getting married!"

Gippal blinked at me, and then he laughed. Although he didn't know Yuna as well as me – and he hardly knew Tidus at all – he seemed genuinely pleased. "That's great news. Can't say I'm particularly surprised. When's the big day?"

"They don't know yet. Yunie says it's going to be sometime soon though."

"You've spoken to Yuna?"

"Er – yeah." Now it was my turn to look guilty. I lowered my eyes back to the machina and gave it another experimental twist. "She asked me to be a bridesmaid! It'll be great – I've never been to a wedding before. Well – I've _been _to a wedding before, you know when Yunie was forced to marry Seymour? But that was more like turning up and trying to _stop _a wedding … and besides, Seymour was dead so that doesn't really count, does it?"

Gippal laughed again at my rapid dialogue. "I've heard of that Seymour guy."

"Oh, he was a right pain in the behind. First he murdered his dad, then he started putting the moves on Yunie, then we had to kill him, like, four hundred times … you'd think a guy would have the common decency to stay dead. There!" I tugged on the machina arm and it came away in my hands. Gippal raised his eyebrows at my actions but when I simply grinned at him, he shook his head and turned back to his papers.

There was still something I wanted to discuss with him though – something that Yuna had raised in our conversation – so I continued talking as I worked at upgrading the machina arm.

"The thing is, Yuna asked me something when I spoke to her. Something about the wedding."

"Uh, huh."

"Well, something about me and you and the wedding really."

"What was that then?"

"She wanted to know if my invitation should be addressed to one or two people."

"Two obviously."

I was slightly surprised by how readily he had agreed. "Are you sure?"

"What's there not to be sure about? It's just an – oh, actually …" It seemed Gippal had caught up with my train of thought. He put his papers down again and turned back to me. "Yeah, I see what you mean. What did you tell her?"

"Nothing really. We kinda got distracted by something else."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the gently clanging of machina against machina.

"Well obviously Yuna knows," I said abruptly.

Gippal cleared his throat. "And Baralai."

Immature Rikku would have been horrified; I just took it in my stride. "And obviously your people here probably know."

"Yeah, probably."

"So … so I don't really see the harm in letting the rest of our friends know … at the wedding."

"Me neither." A smile blossomed on Gippal's face. "Besides, I want to show off my beautiful new girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, who's that then?"

"You wouldn't know her."

"Oh it's _that _kind of relationship, is it?"

"A torrid, raunchy affair? Yeah, pretty much."

I giggled, my cheeks flushing. "You'll have to introduce me."

"I dunno … I don't think you'd get on."

"I'll hardly be able to avoid her if she's at the wedding."

"True … maybe she shouldn't go."

"Oh, she's going," I assured him, attacking the machina with fresh vigour. "And she's getting an invitation for two people."

"Well she can invite someone to go with her then, can't she?"

"She already has. Her boyfriend apparently." I loved how that word sounded.

"Oh her boyfriend?"

"Yup. Her boyfriend."


	8. Chapter Seven: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Okay, it's a little later than promised but this story is finally getting back on track, so hopefully there won't be such a long wait for the next update. As always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and I hope you continue to enjoy the story : )

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Seven: Gippal_

* * *

So … we were going to a wedding.

And not only that: we were going to the wedding as a _couple_. A full-blown, hand-holding, anecdote-sharing couple – a couple on display, in front of all of our friends.

If you'd've asked me about this a year ago, I would have burst into hysterical laughter. Even a month ago I probably would have given you a slightly odd look and then found an excuse to leave the room quickly. And yet now … now the prospect of letting the world know that Rikku and I were together had fallen into a rather attractive light.

Besides, I had time to get used to the idea. Despite what Yuna had said about wanting to get married as soon as possible, Rikku had informed me in her 'I'm-more-knowledgeable-than-you-are' voice, that weddings took time to plan. And on top of all that, Yuna _was_ the High Summoner who had defeated Sin and then gone on to almost single-handedly lead the world. Even me, in all my lack of wedding-related wisdom, could tell that this was going to be one _huge _event – with one _huge_ amount of planning. Yuna's numerous wonderful abilities aside, I don't think even she could organise a wedding in under a month.

Which brought me back to the undeniably pleasant thought that I had time – maybe not a whole lot of it, but enough – to get used to the idea of having Rikku as a girlfriend.

And things were going great … until she threw a damn spanner into the works.

* * *

It was just a typical day, about a week or so after Rikku and I had finally sorted out our differences. Things had been great between us since then. Our relationship – which had started off under decidedly shaky circumstances, thanks to Lreav's input – was finally coming together. And to make my good mood even better, Treilad and Avrin had had a breakthrough while working with Rikku's latest prototype of what was now 'Experiment R'.

Because Djose Temple had been blessed with some particularly fine weather, I had decided to take my work for the day outside. I say work and for once I actually mean it. I was looking over the latest positive readouts for Experiment R in preparation for filing a report. Yes, contrary to popular opinion, I _do _actually write reports from time to time … mainly for the folks over at Bevelle. I think they get nervous when we start tinkering with Yevon-forbidden Machina, even though it's been over two years since most normal people cared what Yevon thought. Oh well, guess that's religion for you.

Anyway, after I'd been out there for a while, Rikku came out and joined me. She didn't say anything – just gave me a quick smile before slumping down beside me. I glanced up from my reports to find that she was sitting with her legs outstretched, regarding the piece of machina between them with a slight frown on her face.

I had no idea what in Spira's name she was doing … but over the last week, I'd learned that when it came to Rikku and machina, it was probably healthier not to ask.

For half an hour or so, I continued to work. But you know, there's only so many numbers you can study before you start going cross-eyed, and besides … there was Rikku. I mean, I tried to concentrate on me reports – honestly I did – but every time I glanced up, the sun was making her hair do this funny shining thing. And when she tinkered with the machina, there were all these little mechanical sounds – it was all very distracting.

So yeah, I will admit, I kinda gave up on my reports and just ended up watching her. Although I'd decided earlier that it was wiser not to question what she was doing, I have to admit that I was pretty curious. What can I say? It's in my nature. And besides, watching Rikku isn't exactly a hardship. I mean, she's completely gorgeous, and for some reason I'm starting to find everything she does fascinating.

Like the way she twirls that little piece of hair around her finger sometimes. And the way she chews on her bottom lip when something's bothering her. And the frustrated noises she makes when things aren't going her way –

Okay, _what_ is with my thoughts these days? Random daydreaming about Rikku … Spira, if Baralai and Nooj ever found out, I'd never live it down. I mean, asking Baralai for love advice was bad enough – after all, _I'm_ meant to be the one who's good with women! And yet somehow, this relationship with Rikku is changing me … and do you know what the most disturbing thing is? I sometimes think I don't even mind.

Man, am I so _totally_ screwed.

Anyway, back to my watching of Rikku. A weird kind of haze had fallen over me and all coherent thoughts had disappeared from my mind – not that I was complaining. It was all going perfectly well; she was working and I was watching … and then, she broke the silence.

"I heard from Yuna yesterday."

I jumped and almost succeeded in dropping all of my reports on the floor. Not because her words were particularly earth shattering, but because she'd broken the peaceful silence between us by speaking.

"Huh?" I managed to respond cleverly, after scrambling after a couple of rogue papers and firmly returning them to my lap.

Rikku lifted the machina piece up and squinted at it. "I _said_, I heard from Yuna yesterday."

Now that her statement had actually registered, I couldn't help wondering why she was telling me about this. So, she'd had a conversation with her cousin … well, that was all very nice, but why did I need to know? Was this to do with us being in a proper relationship now? Were we meant to sharethings like this?

"Is she … well?"

Luckily, Rikku was fairly absorbed in her machina still, and didn't appear to notice the sheer feebleness of my responses. "She's good. Deliriously happy. She's finally got Tidus to set a date for the wedding."

Ah, so _this_ was why she was telling me about her conversation with Yuna – because she wanted me to set aside a day in my incredibly exciting social calendar for the wedding. I grinned like a fool; relieved that the whole 'sharing' issue wasn't as much as an issue as I had first thought. I mean, no matter how much I like Rikku, there are some things about me and my life that she _definitely_ does not need to know about.

"So when is it? Next month, the one after? Actually, seein' as how it's gonna be one of those big Bevelle do's, are we talkin' six months time?"

Rikku shook her head. "It's next week," she informed me placidly.

I blinked at her. "_Next week_?"

"Yeah. You haven't got anything pressing arranged then have you?"

I ran a check of my mental diary before remembering that I never planned more than a day in advance. "Nah, I'm free."

"Oh well that's okay then." Rikku flashed me a contented smile before turning back to the machina.

Thinking that the conversation was over, I began wondering whether it was time to go and check on Freelan and Avrin's progress with Experiment R. After the breakthrough earlier in the week, Treilad and a couple of the other members of the Machine Faction had left Djose Temple for Bikanel Island to pick up some fresh machina parts from the dig teams out there. While this was all well and good, it meant that the Machine Faction's most important project had been left in the hands of the intense Avrin and the excitable Freelan. No matter how good they both were with machina, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous.

I had shuffled my papers into a rough pile and was just about the rise when Rikku spoke again.

"Sounds like it's going to be small wedding."

Resigned, I slumped back against the rock behind me. Seems I was going to have a conversation about weddings whether I wanted to or not. "Really?"

"Mm. Its what they wanted, although I think Yunie was worried that a public ceremony would be expected of her. Being as she's so important and all that. But I think it's sweet, don't you?"

"Uh – yeah."

"A sweet little private ceremony in Besaid … oh it's going to be _so_ romantic!"

There was nothing I could say to that that wouldn't have got me into some kind of trouble, so I remained silent. Not that Rikku noticed; with her mind on the wedding and her attention on the machina, I'm not sure if she even remembered I was there or not.

"Wakka's going to be best-man of course …"

_Of course_, I thought, vaguely recalling to loud, red-haired man that I had met a number of times during those never-ending celebratory parties. Hadn't he been one of Yuna's Guardians …?

" … and Paine, Lulu and I are going to be Yunie's bridesmaids. Well, actually, Lulu will be Maid of Honour because she's already married …"

_Lulu …_ oh yeah, she was Wakka's wife, wasn't she? And they had a kid, a little boy … whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me. Besides, the other person Rikku had mentioned was kinda distracting me.

"Paine's going to wear a _dress_?"

"Well I expect so – Yunie hasn't said yet. Ooh, I wonder what they'll be like –"

"But Paine – Paine in a _dress_!" For some reason, the image got stuck in my head and I couldn't get passed it. It also struck me as hilarious and I started sniggering as if I was thirteen again.

Rikku cast me a lofty, superior look. It was the kind of expression I was more used to seeing on Elhandra's face than Rikku's, and I wondered if my girlfriend knew that some of the other girl's mannerisms had apparently rubbed off on her. Unsurprisingly, I decided not to mention it.

"_Do_ try and keep up, Gippal," she said in a patronising tone.

I gave _her_ a look then. "Oh come on, you can't say the thought of Paine in a dress ain't amusin'?"

"Well …"

"All pink and frilly …"

Rikku maintained her aloof persona for a few more seconds and then dissolved into helpless giggles. "I wonder how much Yuna is paying her."

Gippal shrugged. "Knowin' Paine, probably the soul of her first born."

Rikku laughed again – a tinkling sound that sent unexplainable shivers down my spine.

"It'll be worth goin' just to have a good laugh at her pain."

"Paine's _pain_!" That got us laughing again.

Rikku picked up the machina and studied it. A collection of multi-coloured wires were sticking out of the side and she prodded them curiously with one finger. "It'll be nice to see everyone again."

I was still stuck on the hilarity that was the 'Paine's pain' joke and so didn't reply.

"It'll be the first time we've all been together since those horrible parties, you know? Yuna and Tidus. Wakka, Lulu," She ticked them off on her fingers, "and little baby Vidina – oh, I bet he's really big now! And then there's Kimarhi and Paine –"

I honestly _was_ trying to listen to her, but when she mentioned Paine I got sidetracked again. Yeah, yeah, I know – one-track-mind and all that. But come on, the whole 'Paine pain' thing _was_ a particularly funny joke …

" – And Baralai of course, and Nooj …" She pulled a face, "… and I suppose that means Leblanc as well. And Orni and Logos – Spira, I could do without seeing _those_ two again." Her nimble fingers separated the yellow and the green wires. She caught the yellow one between her forefinger and thumb and squinted at it. "Oh, and of course, the Al Bhed will be there. Buddy, Shinra and Brother … oh and of course, my dad. You remember my dad, don't you?"

I stopped laughing abruptly and stared at her. "Your dad?"

"Yeah, my dad. You remember my dad? Fat, bald guy with a bad temper?"

Oh yeah – I remembered Cid. I remembered Cid perfectly. Everyone who had ever met Cid couldn't _help_ but remember him.

The thing I _hadn't_ remembered, however, was that Rikku was his daughter.

You see, me and Cid – well, we don't exactly have the best history. I mean, there _was_ this little incident when I was younger … but jeez, can I just say that that guy _really_ knows how to hold a grudge. Ever since then he's always seen me as a complete waste of space – and my reputation with girls hasn't exactly helped matters. Added to that the fact that he's not the kind of guy to keep his opinions to himself and I think you can understand one of the reasons I left Home to join the Crimson Squad.

The thing is … I haven't really told Rikku about any of this. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. With everything that happened with Lreav, I didn't really have time to make the connection. Besides, how in Spira are you supposed to tell your girlfriend that her father thinks you're a complete jackass? Not to mention a completely inappropriate match for his only daughter.

"Gippal?"

Damn – I had to say something. I'd been quiet for too long. "So – so your dad's gonna be at the weddin', huh?"

Rikku frowned at me. "Well, _yeah_. I mean, he's Yuna's uncle after all. Of course he's going to be there!" Something in my expression must have caught her attention. "Is that a problem?"

"Er – no. No, no, no. No problem at all."

Unfortunately I'd attracted Rikku's attention now and when she gets something between her teeth she can be irritatingly persistent. "Gippal, you're acting all weird. What's up?"

"Nothing! Nothing's up." Despite my protests, Rikku was still watching me suspiciously. I sighed and ran one hand through my hair. "Okay, okay. Your dad … well, don't you think he might kinda, well, _flip out_ when he finds out about us?"

Rikku blinked – and then burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me? Pops won't mind! And even if he does, all I've got to do is bat my eyelids and everything will be alright again."

Somehow, the fact that she was laughing wasn't very reassuring. And neither were her words. After all, she didn't know that Cid thought I was evil on a par with Sin.

"Oh don't worry so much, Gippal. Everything'll be fine."

I loved how Rikku could make these lofty statements, even when she didn't know what she was talking about. There was no _way _this was all going to be fine! Once Cid found out about me and Rikku, he was going to kill me. There were no two ways about it. After surviving both the Crimson Squad massacre and then facing down Vegnagun, I was going to be killed by my girlfriend's fuming father.

Great.

Suddenly the prospect of 'not-going-to-the-wedding' seemed a whole lot more attractive – no matter how angry it would make Rikku. I opened my mouth to broach the subject but as I looked across at Rikku, the words froze somewhere in the region of my stomach.

She'd turned back to her machina and was once again prodding at the wires – obviously content that the conversation was over with and all my silly fears had been put to rest. As I watched, she gave an "A_ha_!" of triumph as the stubborn yellow wire came free in her hand. Placing it reverently on the ground beside her, she turned back to the machina and attacked it with childlike enthusiasm.

There was something so incredibly innocent, so indescribably perfect about that moment that I felt my objections dying inside of me. Suddenly, the very last thing in the world that I wanted to do was to say anything that was going to upset her.

Was _this_ what being in a relationship was all about?

"Everythin'll be fine," I echoed softly, trying to swallow the feeling that attending this wedding was going to be like walking to my doom.

Rikku raised her head and smiled. "Exactly. And if there _are_ any problems, then we can take them up with Yuna when she gets here."

"When she gets here … Yuna's comin' _here_?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" she asked, knowing perfectly well that she hadn't. "Yeah, she's coming in a couple of days time."

"Er … why?"

Rikku gave me one of those long-suffering looks that all women seemed to be born with and then sighed dramatically. "For the _wedding_, Gippal. You _do_ remember the wedding, don't you?"

I wasn't going to let her get away with that. She may have been my girlfriend but that didn't mean I had to let her walk all over me. "Well no, can't say I do, really. What weddin' would that be?"

Rikku pouted at me. "You know damn well what wedding – Yuna and Tidus's!"

"Oh, _that_ weddin'? 'Course I know about _that_ one. Why didn't ya just say so?" It was my turn to give _her_ the patronising look. "Honestly Rikku, you don't half overcomplicate things sometimes, you know?"

She wasn't very impressed by that comment. In fact, knowing Rikku, I was probably going to pay for it big time.

I wasn't wrong.

"Yuna's coming," she repeated calmly, as if none of the previous exchange had actually happened. "She's bringing the bridesmaid dresses for me to try on."

The sudden image of Paine in a dress came flying back to me. "I guess Paine will be around too?" I wondered if I would be able to get my hands on a sphere-recorder and tape this momentous occasion.

"Yes." Rikku smiled at me sweetly and immediately all thoughts of Paine and dresses fled. It always made me very nervous when Rikku smiled in that predatory manner. "And Lulu, of course."

"Of course." I decided to risk a further question. " … Why are they coming _here_ though? Wouldn't it make more sense for you guys to meet up in Besaid?"

"That's where the _guys_ are meeting," Rikku said shortly, as if that explained everything. "Yuna's party are all gathering here before the wedding. It would have been Kilika but … well, you know."

_Lreav's legacy_, I thought blackly, memories of the destruction of Kilika still fresh in my mind. While there was a building project underway to restore Kilika to it's former beauty, it would be many years before the scars of Lreav's bomb-blast would completely fade.

A rather indignant thought struck me then. "Hey, I mean, I don't mind and all – but who said Yuna could descend on the headquarters of the Machine Faction? I don't remember her askin' me."

"That's because she didn't. She was looking for somewhere relatively close to Besaid and I told her that she could come here." Her face assumed an artfully innocent expression. "I thought you wouldn't mind."

Mind? Of _course_ I minded! Djose Temple was the home of the Machine Faction – it wasn't an extension of a bridal boutique! And what's more, to be not even asked about it before the decision was made – if Rikku had been anyone else I would have pulled her up for insubordination.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? Rikku _wasn't_ anyone else … she was my clever, scheming, manipulative and ultimately unbeatable girlfriend. We'd only been together 'officially' for little over a week and she already had me wrapped around her little finger.

I mean, what could I say to her now? "Yes, I do mind. I mind very much. You're just gonna have to ring your cousin and tell her she can't come here."

Oh yeah – that would go down well. Not only would it upset Rikku, but when the news got back to everyone else involved in the wedding I'd end up looking like Spira's biggest jerk.

Not exactly the image I was going for.

No, I pretty much had only one option open to me. I had to smile and pretend that Rikku's offer of my home to Yuna's wedding menagerie was perfectly fine – which of course, was what Rikku had intended.

"Nah, it's fine." Artfully innocent became gloating triumphant as Rikku grinned up at me. Once again she thought she had completely won a battle of wills with me – I was about to show her she was mistaken. "I just wish you'd told me sooner. There's gonna be so much to get sorted before Yuna arrives – but you can take care of that, can't you Rikku? Get the rooms sorted? With Treilad and the others gone, we have a whole dormitory free … I'm sure you can sort something out."

"Me? But what about –"

"Me?" I mimicked her, assuming my own façade of innocence. "Well, I'd love to help but I've got _so_ much paperwork to get through and then this afternoon there's that meetin' with Avrin –"

"What meeting?"

"You know, that meetin'. Anyway, I'm not gonna have time to make any of the arrangements that Yuna and her little weddin' party are gonna need, so I'll leave it in your capable hands."

"But –"

I gathered my papers together and rose. "Was there somethin' else? Only, I've got to get to that meetin', you remember?"

I was particularly proud of myself for that one.

Rikku looked like she was going to burst. Then, a curious stillness fell over her and her face became as blank as a piece of slate. She picked up the machina that had been discarded earlier and turned it over in her hands.

"Don't you want to know who's in the bridal party?"

I sensed I was walking into a trap but couldn't see what it was. "I already know. Yuna, you, Paine and Lulu."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Her tone was silky smooth.

I frowned.

"The family of the bride?"

A horrible suspicion began to dawn over me.

Rikku caught the comprehension on my face and her smile became insufferably smug.

"Me, Brother … and our dad."

Her dad.

Cid.

Oh, _lnyb_ (crap).


	9. Chapter Eight: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** My inspiration has finally returned and this is the result. Thanks to all those who have been waiting so patiently – the reward is finally here : )

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Eight: Rikku_

* * *

I woke up early on the day that Yuna was due to arrival at Djose Temple. After dressing quickly, I wandered outside, snagging the piece of machina I'd been sporadically working on for a while now. It was a pleasant day; the sun was shining brightly and the sky was a deep, deep blue. There weren't even any proper clouds floating around – just clusters of those little fluffy, white ones that are so cute they don't really count. Yeah, it really was perfect. Perfectly Yuna. Nothing associated with my cousin's weddings could possibly be overcast with a slight risk of drizzle.

I'm really not as interested in the weather as you might think. Really, I'm not. But keeping my mind busy judging cloud patterns and keeping my hands busy with the piece of machina were the only effective ways I could come up to stop me worrying incessantly about Yuna's impending arrival.

That sounds really bad – like I don't want to see her, or something. It's nothing like that. I love Yuna. She's my cousin and my best friend. And nothing would make me happier than to see her and Tidus married – especially after everything they've been through. There's just one little problem. When I say that Yuna's coming, what I _actually_ mean is that Yuna's coming along with my fellow bridesmaid's Lulu and Paine and certain members of her immediate family.

My family.

Brother – who, frankly, is bad enough – and … and my dad.

My dad. Cid. Brother-in-law of High Summoner Braska; uncle of High Summoner Yuna. Leader of the Al Bhed on Bikanel Island but always looking to expand, even after the Zanarakand 'incident'. A man that you only cross if you're completely insane and don't mind paying to have your eardrums re-attached. Hey, I love the guy but I'll be the first to admit he's got the loudest voice in Spira.

I'd known that he'd be coming since Yuna had first raised the idea of using Djose Temple as her stop-over before the wedding. And yet somehow, the fear hadn't set in until a few of days ago when it had suddenly occurred to me that my dad was going to be sleeping a couple of doors down from the set of rooms his daughter was sharing with her boyfriend.

You see, it's not that my dad scares me or anything. I'm his little princess – his baby. One flutter of my eyelashes and he can't deny me anything. I've got him firmly wrapped around my little finger, you know? No, the problem isn't with me. The problem's with Gippal.

When he'd first mentioned that he thought my dad might flip out when he found out about our relationship, I'd laughed him off. I couldn't understand why he was so concerned – Pops would be happy for us and that was that. Thing is, the more I continued thinking about it, the more I began to remember moments in my childhood when my dad had mentioned Gippal. And let's just say it wasn't in a 'you're-a-great-guy-and-feel-free-to-date-my-daughter' sort of way.

So I started to worry. What if Gippal was right? What if my dad completely lost it and started shouting at us in the middle of Yuna's wedding? Yuna would burst into tears and never speak to me again; Tidus would probably run me through with that great watery sword of his and my dad – well my dad would probably be too busy beating Gippal to a pulp for 'taking advantage' of me …

The worst thing is, I have the strangest feeling that there's something between Gippal and my dad that I don't know. Snatches of overheard conversation and a bunch of random images was enough to demand an answer of Gippal, but when I did he got all weird and defensive. Stupid boy – doesn't he know that's a _clear_ sign he's hiding something? I just wish I knew what it was … it must be something serious. Gippal even went as far as to suggest we pretend to be nothing more than friends while the wedding party stays in Djose Temple. As much as I didn't want to dignify such a ridiculous suggestion with a response, the temptation to launch into a bout of righteous rage was too much. Spira, I think the whole of Djose eavesdropped on _that_ conversation. But hey, it made me feel better and it reminded Gippal that he's not just dealing with a weak-willed girl he can just push around. _We're_ _together_, I told him, _doesn't matter if my dad's around or not._

Brave words. I wasn't feeling quite so brave as I stood on the bridge outside of the temple, my hands full of machina and my head full of clouds. After tying off the wrong wire for the third time, I threw the offending piece of technology away from me. Luckily it landed on the bridge rather than in the gorge below but there _was_ a nasty dent in it that had probably set my tinkering back weeks. Still, at least the random act of violence made me feel better.

"You want to watch where you're throwing things."

I shrieked in surprise and spun around, my hands instinctively going for my twin knives. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to equip them that morning and my hands came up grasping at the air.

My assailant watched my pathetic actions and snorted. "If I'd been a real enemy, you'd be dead by now."

"Paine!"

The older girl arched an eyebrow sardonically. "In the flesh."

"W-what are you doing here?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realised how ridiculous they were.

Paine gave me her best withering look.

I attempted to save the situation. "Not _here_ here. I mean, I know why you're _here._ The wedding. I can't have forgotten the wedding – I mean, I _didn't _forget the wedding so I know why you're here. Today. Here today. But here _here_ … "

My voice trailed off into silence. Paine was regarding me as if I was a rabid animal about to strike. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked, sounding about as concerned as Paine ever does – which isn't much.

I took a deep breath. _Calm down for Spira's sake! You're trying to make a good impression._

"Fine, fine, everything's fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong at all and – uh – where's Yuna?"

"On the Celsius. She'll be along in a moment."

"Right. Good. Great."

Paine stared at me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

My fingers were twitching madly and I was sure that all the blood in my body had flooded into my head. Despite my babblings to the contrary, Paine could probably see that her question was mostly rhetorical. She's pretty perceptive for a quiet girl.

"Am I missing something?"

She didn't sound amused. I cast about for something to distract both her and my own racing thoughts and was delighted to see another familiar figure stepping onto the bridge.

"Lulu!"

I bounced towards my old friend, pulling myself up short a few steps in front of her when I remember that Lulu wasn't exactly a hugs and kisses kind of person. Stuck on what else to do, I settled on grinning inanely.

Lulu didn't seem fazed. Her voice was as cool and measured as always. "It's good to see you, Rikku."

"It's good to be seen!" Once more, the words slipped out before I could stop them. Spira, if I got any louder I'd be able to rival my dad …

My dad.

It was then that I realised Lulu hadn't been alone when she'd stepped into my field of vision.

"Rikku!"

_Oh, dear, Spira._ I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. All the latent worry and tension over the Gippal situation came bubbling up to the surface and I clamped my hands over my mouth to prevent more words of insanity from spilling out. Lulu gave me a concerned look but before I could reassure her that I was okay, a pair of meaty arms was wrapping around me and my face was being crushed into a gaudy kaleidoscope of yellow, green and blue.

"How ya doin', girl?" the kaleidoscope rumbled as it realised me.

I stumbled back a few steps as the brilliant colours slowly coalesced into the form of a person. He stood not that much taller than me but there was a presence to him that made you realise that this was a man who was used to getting his way. Coupled with sharp eyes, a hawk-like nose and a bald head and there was no mistaking who was standing in front of me.

"Hi, Pops," I offered weakly.

* * *

It took quite I while to get everything moved off the Celsius and into Djose Temple's entrance hall. Not only had Yuna brought everything that could possibly be needed at a wedding, ever, but she's also brought boxes full of things that I couldn't even identify.

I lifted one of them off the top of the pile and gave inspected it dubiously. "What _is_ this?"

Yuna looked up from where she was unpacking. "Oh that. It's just one of Shinra's latest inventions."

"But what's it _for_?"

"Keeping bugs away. It gives out some kind of sonic wave that bugs don't like."

I'd never even heard of it before but it was an incredible idea. Shrugging, I returned the invention to the pile and flopped backwards on Yuna's bed. Yuna and the rest of the bridal party were being housed in two of the temple's dormitory rooms – one for the girls and one for the boys. The question of where everyone would be staying had been a huge sticking point in Yuna's grand plan, but I had managed to convince Gippal to send out the excavation team to Bikanel Desert a couple of days early, thereby freeing up these rooms. After all, I couldn't have my cousin sleeping on the floor in the run-up to her wedding, could I?

Across the room, Yuna flattened an empty box triumphantly and turned her attention to the next one. I watched her idly, grateful for this pocket of silence that had fallen over us. Whether intentional or not, both Paine and Lulu had made themselves scarce after settling their belongings on their respective beds. Gippal had swept them off for a quick tour of the temple – which I thought was a very smart, if fairly unnecessary. After all, they've both been to the temple before; Lulu's even been through the Cloister of Trials. Still, at least it put some distance between Gippal and my dad, who was currently holding forth to Brother in the dormitory opposite Yuna's.

I sighed, my fringe shifting in the breeze I'd created. It tickled my nose and I brushed it away irritably before sighing again. Why did everything have to be some damn complicated? Why couldn't I have chosen a guy who didn't seem to already be in some feud with my difficult father?

"Rikku?"

I blinked and realised that Yuna had stopped her unpacking and was watching me. Her face was set in a typical expression of concern. "Are you okay?"

I smiled brightly. "Sure."

"_Rikku_." Damn, I forgotten this was _Yuna_ I was dealing with. She knew me better than I knew myself.

I pulled a face at her and rolled over into a sitting position. She came to sit beside me on the bed and caught me with her compassionate gaze. "What's wrong?"

I fiddled with the bed sheet and didn't answer.

"Is it Gippal?"

I remained silent, hoping she'd get bored and go away. Unfortunately Yuna can be as stubborn as me. She pushed my braids back behind my ears and cocked her head, "It _is_ Gippal, isn't it? What's he done now?"

"Nothing!" I blurted and then clammed up again.

Yuna waited for a few moments, but when it became evident I wasn't going to say anything else, she clucked her tongue in irritation. "Rikku, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Dammit – I'd also forgotten the way Yuna employed logic like a weapon. It got me _every_ time.

"It's not Gippal exactly," I admitted at last, realising she wasn't going to just let this go.

"Then what is it?"

"It's – it's my dad."

"Ah." Yuna nodded in understanding. Just like that and she knew exactly what I was talking about. No wonder she's practically running the world.

"He doesn't know about me and Gippal." Now the flood gates had opened, I found I wanted to talk about it. "He's not going to like it. I mean, I'm his little girl, you know? And to make things even worse, there's something between them. I don't exactly know what it is, but I think it's pretty big. Gippal's convinced Pop's is going to completely freak out."

Yuna had been nodding thoughtfully throughout my explanation. Now she pursed her lips, and shrugged. "He's probably right."

I stared at her. "What?"

"Gippal. He's probably right."

That wasn't really the reassurance I'd been looking for.

"Uncle Cid's a pretty volatile guy, isn't he? And he's definitely protective of you. So yeah … I think he'll explode."

Who was this impostor sitting in front of me? It couldn't possibly be my sweet, caring cousin!

"It's how you deal with that explosion that's important." Yuna folded her hands in her lap and fixed me with a serious look. "I know Cid's your dad, and that's important, but you're not a child anymore. Rikku, you're eighteen years old. You're a strong, independent woman. You've helped save the world twice, for Spira's sake!"

"Your point is?"

"My _point_ is that as much as we love our parents, we can't keep living our lives for them forever. They have their time; they raise us, tutor us, nurture us … and then we move on. We continue to respect their opinions and the advice they offer us, but ultimately, we make our own decision. We live our lives for ourselves."

Wow … just – just _wow_. Even through all the speeches Yuna had made since rising to power, I'd never heard her sounding quite so eloquent. In some strange way it was really humbling that she'd saved such words for me.

"When did you get so wise?" I demanded, still amazed at how mature and together she suddenly sounded.

A wistful smile tugged at her lips. "My dad."

"Braska?" I was surprised all over again. After all, he'd been dead for so many years now. I'd never even met him in real life and I was fairly certain Yuna had only been six or seven when he'd sacrificed himself to defeat Sin.

Yuna's eyes grew distant. "It's what he said to me before he left on his pilgrimage."

"And you still remember it?"

"Every word."

I was silent for a moment as I tried to imagine how it must have been for Yuna in those last few moments with her father. A wave of guilt swept over me for how I let my worries over my dad's reception of Gippal overwhelm me. After all, despite his many faults, at least he was still alive.

"Hey," Yuna patted my hand, drawing me out of my reverie. "Don't look so sad. I didn't tell you that to upset you. I just thought it was something you could do with hearing."

I straightened. "You were right." I grinned. "Your dad spoke a lot of sense, you know?"

She matched my smile. "I know."

* * *

And so came the moment of truth. Despite Yuna's stern words, a bubble of fear was still floating around inside of me, threatening to burst at any moment. I clutched tightly to Gippal's hand as we walked along the corridor towards the entrance hall. After talking sensibly – or as sensibly as either of us can ever manage – we had decided to confront our problem head-on. Which meant approaching my father before he noticed that retiring for the day didn't lead me into the same dormitory as the other girls.

At that moment, my dad was apparently sitting in on one of the many Machine Faction that took place every day in the temple. I knew he hadn't asked anyone's permission for this – Gippal had so far managed to avoid him – but I also knew it wasn't such a slight as an oversight. Pops _is _the leader of the Al Bhed at our ancestral home. He's not used to asking permission for anything.

Gippal didn't seem to mind. Frankly, I think he'd be happy if my dad would just stay in one meeting or another until the wedding came and Djose Temple was ours again.

We timed our arrival at the antechamber to coincide with the end of the meeting. Most of the Al Bhed had already left and only Pops, Arvin and Freelan remained, the latter two who were gathering up various papers that had been strewn across the table top.

Arvin looked up as we entered. "_Rana ra ec huf_. Gippal, Cid _fyc zicd ycgehk ypuid oui_." (Here he is now. Gippal, Cid was just asking about you.) He seemed very relieved to see us for some reason.

I opened my mouth to say hello but before I could both Arvin and Freelan had scampered past us and the door was closing with a soft click. Leaving Gippal and I alone in the room with my dad. The only small mercy was that the table was between us, so Pops couldn't yet see that we were holding hands.

Pops sniffed. "Nice of you to show your face."

"I was lettin' you get settled in," Gippal retorted coolly. "I trust your rooms are adequate."

"They'll do. Can't really expect much more, can we?"

"This ain't a hotel. You want somethin' posher, you go and stay in Kilika."

I stepped between them before the argument could start. "Pops, don't be so rude. Gippal's doing us a favour letting Yuna stay here."

He hmphed but let the subject drop. "Did you want something?" he asked instead, glaring at Gippal.

I jumped into the opportunity he'd given us. "Pops, there's something we want to talk to you about." I eyed his reddening face nervously. "Maybe you'd better sit down."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Sit down? What are you talking about, girl?" His eyes flickered from me to Gippal and back again. "What is it? You gonna tell me you've taken up with this one, or something?" He laughed.

Gippal's fingers stiffened and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. I tried to think of something, _anything_ to say to break the tension. All the times I'd visualised this scene, I'd never guessed my dad would work it out so quickly.

I'd been silent for too long and my dad's face darkened with a terrible look of comprehension. "You _have_, haven't you?" he demanded incredulously. "You're here to tell me you've taken up with _him_."

"Pops –"

"Have you completely lost your mind!"

"No, Pops I –"

"_Him._ Of all the Al Bhed you could have chosen, you had to choose _him_. Don't you know what he's like? Tinkering with things he doesn't understanding! Risking people's lives! And that's not even mentioning his love-life: a different girl every night and not a damn shred of shame about it either!"

"That was a long time ago, Cid." Gippal spoke levelly but there was an undercurrent of anger in his voice. "A lot of things have changed."

"Not everything! And if you think I'm ever gonna forget what happened then you're even stupider than I thought. Head of the Machine Faction? Ha – that's just another excuse for you to be reckless and dangerous, only this time you've dragged my daughter along with you!"

"I made _one_ mistake. _One_!"

" 'One mistake'?" My dad's laugh was ugly. "You're _life_ has been one big mistake from start to finish!"

"Alright, that's _enough_!" I shouted, cutting across their angry words. "You haven't even heard what we've got to say yet and you're already shouting. Don't you think you should let us explain first?"

"Explain? Explain what? That you're just the latest in a long line of pretty girls? That's he's fooled you into thinking he loves you so he can recklessly risk your life –"

"Gippal's not like that –"

"Like hell he isn't! Rikku, I don't know what he's said to you to get you on his side, but you have to listen to me. Not only does he discard women like pieces of old machina but he's _dangerous._ Ask him what happened back on Bikanel Island! I bet he hasn't told you about that, has he? No, wouldn't want to ruin the illusion." He took a step towards Gippal. "Well your little scheme's all finished now, isn't it? 'Cause I'm here and I know what you're really like, and if you think I'm gonna let a daughter of mine anywhere _near_ you –"

"Stop it! _Just stop it_!" Anger surged through my veins, tearing the words out of me. "I'm not ten anymore, Pops. I'm not a child. I'm eighteen years old and to be honest, who I choose to have a relationship is absolutely none of your business! I thought the fact that Gippal and I decided to be upfront with you might count for something but obvious not. You're so trapped in the past you can't even see what's beyond your own nose! But you know what? _I don't care about the past._ Gippal's not like that anymore. He's changed – and so have I. And whether you like it or not, we _are _having a relationship and nothing you say is going to change that!"

There was one of those ringing silences that only occurs after an embarrassing outburst of some kind. I was glaring at my dad; he was glaring right back at me. Suddenly it was no longer important what had passed between him and Gippal; suddenly all I cared about was not being treated like I was five years old. Sure, my dad had made decisions for me in the past, but he had to understand that the situation was different now. Uncle Braska had been right – it was time Pops learnt to let go.

Unfortunately, I don't think he agreed with me. His face, always ruddy, was now verging on the same shade of red as the Celsius and he looked like he was going to spontaneously combust. "Now look here –" he blustered.

"No, Pops, _you_ look here. I've made up my mind and that's all there is to say about this. You can approve, or you can continue to object, it doesn't make any difference to me and Gippal." I was amazed by how mature I sounded.

My dad seemed just as dumbstruck. He gaped at me, his mouth opening and closing so much that I swear I could hear his jaw creaking.

A hand touched my arm. "Maybe we'd better give him some space," Gippal suggested in an undertone. "Who knows? This time tomorrow he might have forgiven me."

I smiled weakly at him, shot my dad an apologetic look and hurried out of the room. _Gippal's right_, I told myself as I closed the door behind us, leaving my dad to his own thoughts. _This time tomorrow, everything's going to be fine._

The problem was, deep down, I knew Gippal wasn't right. I knew my dad, you see. And I knew there was no way Pops was going to let this go that easily.


	10. Chapter Nine: Gippal

**Disclaimer:**FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who has been so patient waiting for this chapter. It gave me a lot of trouble - I'm still not completely happy with it - but at least it's finally done. And (hopefully) from now on it will be plain-sailing, as I know exactly what is going to happen in the next few chapters. I promise it gets more exciting ; ) And coming up next chapter ... the long-awaited wedding!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Nine: Gippal_

* * *

Just lately, my whole life seems to revolve around 'father' issues. First there was my own dad and his death when I was still just a kid, then the whole business with Lreav turned out to be fuelled by his ma and da's separation and now Cid looks like he wants to castrate me for daring to touch his precious daughter.

Talk about a passion killer.

I guess I should have excepted it. Cid and I do _not_ have a happy relationship. You know how everyone goes through those rebellious teenage years where they act like a complete idiot and do dangerous stuff regardless of the consequences? Well, Cid had a ringside seat for _my_little trip through puberty and by his reaction to the news about me and Rikku, I'm pretty sure he hasn't forgotten.

Either that or it was just a typical overprotective father routine – but something tells me my first guess might be more accurate. Maybe it was the red face. Or the yelling. Or the fact that Cid's fingers were twitching and he was eyeing my neck in a really unsettling way. I'm not kidding when I say I think he might have strangled me if Rikku hadn't been there. Me and Cid … well there're a lot of reason why I bailed out of Bikanel Island and into the Crimson Squad and avoiding Rikku's dad for the rest of my life was pretty high on that list.

And it was a tactic that had been working pretty well until Rikku's damn cousin decided that she just _had_to use Djose Temple as her base for the wedding. Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against Yuna. She's a nice enough girl – a bit serious and 'destiny-bound' maybe – but nice enough. It's her 'retinue' that I object to. Bride, bridesmaid's, _family_… I can't turn around recently without running into an excited girl jabbering on about 'flowers' or 'dresses' or 'rings'. Even Paine – stoic, reliable Paine – has been corrupted by the unstoppable force that is Yuna and Tidus' wedding. I swear yesterday, I heard her _giggle._We're not talking her usual deep laugh, I mean I full blown, girly, high-pitched giggle. Part of me never wants to hear it again, but the other part of me wishes I'd had a recording sphere handy. Paine giggling would make excellent blackmail material.

"Gippal?"

So, there was _one _salvation amongst the madness. Rikku had been noticeably happier since the arrival of her family, even with the argument with Cid. That's not saying I don't think she was unhappy with just me and the Machine Faction, but Yuna and Paine are her best friends and … well to be honest, I'm not sure I completely get the whole female-bonding thing. I mean, Baralai and Nooj are_ my _best friends, but I don't feel the need to throw my arms around them whenever I see them. That would just be … well _weird_.

"Gippal!"

I looked up from the report I hadn't been reading as the object of my wandering thoughts suddenly bounced into the room. "Look! Look at me!" She danced across to my desk and twirled in place. "Isn't it pretty?"

Now I'm not exactly an expert on women's clothing, but the dress that Rikku was wearing … _wow_. It was made of this shiny, dark blue material that seemed to cling all of her curves. It was weird; I'm used to seeing Rikku in a lot less clothing than the bridesmaid's dress, but somehow I'd never fancied her as much as I did now. Her hair was up in some kind of fancy, twisted style and there were all of these curly bits hanging down by her face. She looked older than normal. She looked sexy. She looked _gorgeous_. Next time I saw Yuna I was going to thank her.

Rikku started pouting when I didn't reply. "You don't like it?" she asked in a wheedling tone, twisting some more. The dress flared up at the bottom and from my seated position I had to fight the urge to look up her skirt.

"Yeah – yeah it's nice."

"Nice?" I knew instantly from her tone that I'd missed the mark. "Do you not see this dress here? It's a bit more than 'nice'." She twisted again, looking down at herself. I watched her hips move back and forth, back and forth. It was strangely hypnotic – and kinda hard to ignored when they were right in front of my face. "I was going for more of an 'amazing'."

"Okay, it's amazin'." I was still watching her hips.

Rikku stopped twisting. "You're just saying that 'cos you know I want you to."

I looked up at her and grinned. "Maybe."

She hit me on the shoulder. "I wanna know what you _really_ think."

I rolled my eye. "Rikku, it's a _dress_. It's blue and shiny. What more do you want me to say?"

Her eyes grew huge and pleading. I swear I saw her lower lip wobble. "Don't you think I look pretty?" She twisted her body provocatively, her eyes never leaving mine.

I leaned back in my chair, folding my arms across my chest. "You know you do."

"Doesn't mean I don't want to hear it …" Rikku sashayed closer, her hips swinging. I did _not_ want to know where she had learned to move like that – not that I was going to complain or anything.

"Why don't you go find Yuna then? I'm sure she'll satisfy your need." It was hard to maintain a nonchalant tone in the face of Rikku's hips.

"What if it's not Yuna I want to hear it from?" She was right in front of me now. There was no mistaking the mischief in her eyes.

I shrugged. "Then you'll have to find someone else. Paine, Lulu – hey, what about Brother? I'm sure he'd oblige."

I caught a flash of irritation in Rikku's face and grinned inwardly. She hid it well but I knew my obstinacy was getting to her. Looks like I was going to win this time.

Of course, I hadn't banked on Rikku changing the rules. Instead of replying, she leaned down and pressed her lips against mine. Instantly all coherent thought fled out of my mind. All I could focus on were the feeling of her hair tickling the sides of my face and her soft lips on mine. The rest of Spira faded away as I reached out to deepen the kiss.

In the next instant I felt myself falling forward. My hands lunged out, catching my weight against the seat of the chair. I looked up in protest and found Rikku watching me, one eyebrow raised, her tongue moistening her lips. "I think there was something you're supposed to say first."

Damn _me_, she was good. My eyes followed the path of her tongue helplessly and I could think of nothing else but the need to feel her lips against mine again. I had to get that sensation back – even if it meant sacrificing my pride. I mean, what's pride worth, anyway?

"You're beautiful," I told her distractedly, barely noticing how her face lit up with a mixture of triumph and genuine pleasure at my words. "Dress or no dress. You're always beautiful."

This time when she kissed me, it wasn't just part of a game. It was honest, it was real and oh sweet Spira it was good. It wasn't like Rikku was the first girl I'd ever kissed – or the tenth, or even the twentieth – but man, she was the best. Hands down, no debate … kissing Rikku was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It wasn't something I could explain – it just kinda _was_.

Was this what it felt like to be in love with someone?

I barely had a chance to concentrate on that rather groundbreaking thought. Somehow Rikku had ended up in my lap and she was doing some very interesting things with her hands. I thought I'd better return the favour, so I wrapped my arms around her, touching the expanse of warm skin that the dress left bare. As I ran my hands up and down Rikku's back, she leaned into my touch and made these cute little noises of pleasure.

It was only when my hands became a little too adventurous for my own good, and began heading south, that Rikku broke the kiss. She reached behind her and pulled my hands away. I grinned at her shamelessly, excepting a clever remark in return, but instead Rikku looked vaguely unsettled. She started to slide off my lap and only the strength of my grip kept her from moving away from me entirely.

I frowned at her. "What's wrong?"

"Gippal, just let me go. Please."

"No." I lifted her bodily off the ground and back onto my lap. There was nothing she could do against my greater strength. "Not 'til you tell me what's upset you."

She wouldn't meet my gaze. "It's nothing."

"C'mon, Rikku! It's obvious more than nothin' to get you all bothered like this."

When it was clear I wasn't going to let this go, Rikku gave up and sagged against my grip. She was silent for a moment, staring at her hands where they rested in her lap. When she finally did raise her head, she looked off to the right rather than directly at me.

"You're really experienced, aren't you?"

Five words, and suddenly I understood completely. And with the understanding came to sudden urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Of course, Rikku would never forgive me for that – this was obviously very important to her, even though to me, it wasn't even an issue. It'd never even crossed my mind.

I studied my girlfriend's tight face. Sometimes I forgot how young Rikku still was. Not that I'm ancient or anything – I mean, I'm only a year older than her – but in terms of relationship experience I'm playing in the major leagues while she's still trying to compile a team.

In that moment I resolved never to let Rikku know how many girlfriends I'd had. It didn't have anything to do with my relationship with her and if she did know, she'd only feel more inadequate. As much as honesty is supposed to be important between couples, I'm not suicidal.

Not that I was going to tell an outright lie, either. "More than you, I guess."

Rikku's unhappy expression didn't clear. "Then you must think I'm just a stupid kid, who doesn't know how to – who won't let you –"

Time to cut this off before it could even begin. "Rikku, I think you wearing that dress is proof enough that you're not a kid."

"Oh, enough about the dress! I don't care about the stupid dress anymore!"

Okay – obviously humour was _not _the way to go. Then how to give this enough gravity without sounding like I was giving one of Baralai's boring speeches …?

"Rikku," I tried again, "I don't think you're a stupid kid." Something in my tone had caught her attention and she watched me unblinkingly. I knew I'd have to be careful about what I said next. Rikku's got one hell of a fiery temper and I didn't want to upset her. I cast about for the right words. "What I _do_ think … what I _do _think is that you're clever and sneaky and the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen."

"Woman?" She savoured the word.

"Unless there's somethin' important you've been meaning to tell me." I reached up and brushed one of the loose strands of hair back behind her ear. Her expression was clearing but something in her green eyes told me she still needed reassurance. Ruefully I thought that right now it might not be so bad to have Baralai's oratory abilities.

"Look, Rikku … I'm not gonna deny that I've had girlfriends before you. It would be kinda stupid as I'm pretty sure you're da's already filled you in on that score. But you've gotta understand that I'm not lookin' for anythin' from you that you're not ready to give. I mean, when you _are_ ready, I'll welcome it with open arms, yeah? But 'til then – we'll I'm with you because of _you_. Not because of that … you know?"

I hoped she knew. Because I'd kind of run out of words and painful silences – not a big fan.

Luckily, liked I'd said, Rikku's a pretty smart girl so she managed to make some sense out of my ramblings. And apparently I managed to say the right thing, because the uncertainty faded out of her face and she began to smile again.

"Do you mean that?" she asked quietly.

"Nah, I just thought I'd say it to embarrass myself."

She hit me on the shoulder again and suddenly everything was back to normal. I pretended to wince to hide the fact that my girlfriend had a surprisingly strong punch. All that saving the world business had obviously worked wonders for her strength. I was gonna have one mean bruise on my shoulder tomorrow.

Rikku slid off my lap. "Well, as much as I'd like to hang around here all day, listening to you say nice things about me, I'd better get back before Yuna starts worrying that I've run off with her dress."

"Which, basically, you did."

"Well, yeah, but –" Rikku stuck her tongue out at me. "Stop confusing me. I'm going now."

"Okay."

"Really."

"Go on then."

"I will."

"I'll see you later."

"If you're lucky." With a toss of her hair, Rikku flounced across the room towards the door. She was about the leave the room when I called her name.

"Rikku?"

She looked back over her shoulder, dress shimmering and gold tendrils framing her slender face.

"The dress looks amazing."

Her smile lit up the room. "I know. I just wanted you to say it, that's all."

* * *

I couldn't concentrate on my reports after that. Every time I tried to focus on the printed words, an image of Rikku in _that dress_ filled my mind and I had to suppress the urge to track my girlfriend down and continue what we'd started. After all, I _had_promised that we'd go at whatever speed she was comfortable with. So what if it was a lot slower than I was used to? This was Rikku and I'd meant what I said. I was with her for _her_ – not for well, the other thing.

Problem was, the thoughts about Rikku in that dress invariably led to ones about Rikku in a lot less – which of course, led straight back to that other thing.

Sex.

I slammed the report down on my desk and pushed my chair backwards. I had to get some air; banish the semi-naked Rikku's that kept parading themselves through my head. A brisk walk around the temple would help, or maybe I could go and see how Freelan and Avrin were getting on with Experiment R …

First, of course, there was the obligatory 'dodging of the bridal party'.

In the corridor outside of my room, I looked both ways to check the way was clear. I was in luck; the hallway was empty of people and although I could hear voices coming from the direction of the dormitories, they were speaking Al Bhed, which probably meant they were some of my people. While they might have questions about Machine Faction business, at least they wouldn't want my opinion on what tablecloths to use for the reception.

I crept along the corridor, keeping close to the wall. Crossing the first intersection successfully, I took the hallway that would lead out towards the entrance hall of the temple. There were a few tense moments when I heard footsteps approaching along the corridor, but they faded away again before I was forced to throw myself into a nearby room to keep out of sight.

Feeling like a naughty child trying to avoid his parents, I darted out into the entrance hall, looking back over my shoulder to make sure that no one was following me. Unfortunately, I'd momentarily forgotten that Al Bhed don't posses eyes in the back of their heads and I walked straight into something hard and unbending. As I stumbled and fought to keep my balance, I wondered at just how distracted I'd been recently. Since when had there been a wall bisecting the entrance hall?

"_Gippal_!"

The surprise of my voice being yelled so loudly, so close to my face, tipped me over the edge. I lost my footing completely and fell backwards onto the floor with a flurry of curses. As I gazed blearily up at the murals on the high ceiling, a round, red face rudely interrupted my view.

"I've been lookin' for you, boy."

Life, I decided, has a distinct sense of humour. And an ironic one. Out of all the people I could have literally run into it had to be the man who probably hated me most in Spira. And who also happened to be the father of my girlfriend – but hey, maybe he'd got over that by now and the anger in his voice was all about the hate.

"Cid," I returned with as much dignity as I could manage, seeing as how I was lying on the floor and he was towering over me like a bristling Behemoth. I flashed him a bright smile and rolled over carefully before climbing to my feet. "How've you been?"

"I wanna word with you. In _private_."

Oh that did _not_sound good. Suddenly I longed to be with Yuna, discussing tablecloths.

"Well, as much as I'd love to spend the rest of the day catchin' up on old times, I've actually got a load of work to do so –" I stepped around him and headed from the entrance of the temple.

He caught me by the shoulders. "I aint done with you yet."

I opened my mouth to tell him where he could shove his request but as the words were forming in my mouth, an instant voice in the back of my mind reminded me that Cid was Rikku's father. He was someone I was going to be seeing a lot more of if Rikku and I stayed together. Maybe I would be a good idea to try and get on with him.

Sometimes I really hated that little voice.

So I bit back a sarcastic reply and although I shrugged his hands off my shoulders, my voice was civil. "What'd'ya want?"

"Rikku."

One word, so many connotations. I guess imaging that he'd accepted me and Rikku as a couple _was_ a little optimistic …

I couldn't help asking, "What about Rikku?"

Cid gave me a look that suggested he thought I was as intelligent as that scummy black liquid that leaks out of a piece of machina when it overheats. It's a special look he reserves only for me.

"Outside."

Great, we had progressed to the monosyllables. I almost preferred the yelling.

Cid jerked his chin in the direction of the temple's entrance and then stomped off towards the doors. I was forced to trail after him like a scolded kid. Pulling a face at Cid's back made me feel marginally better as we stepped out into the bright sunlight. I hope Rikku appreciated the sacrifices I was making in the name of our relationship.

The area outside of the temple was scattered with Al Bhed. Several of them glanced up as Cid and I passed. Avrin was among them and after seeing the expression on Cid's face, he gave me a pitying look. I responded with a lofty wave of my hand that didn't fool anyone for a second. You'd've had to be blind, dumb _and_ deaf, not to know what the deal was between me and Cid.

Across the rough ground and onto the bridge. I wondered if Cid was intending to walk all the way to Luca. If he was he was going it alone – there is a limit to the things I am willing to do to appease Rikku's dad.

As if he had overheard my thoughts, Cid stopped abruptly. We were half way across the bridge and though I couldn't see why this expanse of wood was any more special than the bit three metres away, Cid seemed satisfied. At least, he folded his arms across his chest and turned to face me.

"Sit."

Okay, you know that limit I was talking about? I'd just reached it. What did he think I was, a trained Dingo? So, "I think I'll stand," I said coolly.

Cid sniffed. "Suit yourself." He leaned back against the rail off the bridge, arranging his impressive bulk comfortably. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, feeling even more like the naughty child who'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Silence hung between us. My nose began to itch. I rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of my feet. I cleared my throat, sneaking a look at Cid from out of the corner of my eye. For a loud, yelling guy, he sure was being quiet.

"So … Rikku," I stated when I could stand it no longer.

"Rikku," Cid agreed.

There was another pause. I was growing more and more unsettled. Where was the big explosion? Or was this just some kind of weird psychological warfare that Cid was employing to catch my off guard? My estimation of the man's intelligence rose several notches.

Whatever he was playing at, I was going to keep me cool. "You wanted to talk about her," I reminded him. He _was_ getting old – maybe he'd forgotten. "And you've got me out here, away from pryin' ears – " _Where no one can hear me scream_ " – So talk."

"Stop seein' her."

After all that build-up, his first demand was almost a letdown. 'Stop seeing Rikku' – talk about predictable.

And I could be just as predictable. So, "No."

Something flashed through Cid's eyes; too quickly for me to identify it. Whatever it was, he didn't seem surprised by my answer. "Last chance. Stop seein' her."

Was there an echo in here? "No," I repeated firmly.

The hint of a smile appeared on Cid's lips but there was nothing friendly about it. "Then I guess I'll have to tell her about what you got up to back on old Bikanel."

I should have expected it – after all, it was the major leverage that Cid had against me. Yet once again, Cid had managed to surprise me. I was beginning to realise there was much more to Rikku's father than an overbearing man with a loud voice.

Still, I wasn't going to give anything away. "How do you know I haven't already told her?"

" 'Cause she wouldn't be with you if you had."

Dammit, he was right. But what could I … ? Deflection, of course. Distract him. Turn the tables. Time to go on the attack.

I took an aggressive stance. "What's this _really_about Cid? Not ready to let Rikku go yet, is that it? This has nothin' to do with me – I could be anyone and you'd still be reactin' in the same way. So stop pretendin' this is all about your grudge against me and admit that you're just a selfish old man who doesn't want to see his daughter happy!"

"You aint good enough for her!" Cid shot back, two bright spots of colour appearing on his cheeks.

"Is anyone?" I countered.

Cid glared at me. I reminded myself that I was the leader of the Machine Faction and I had powerful friends. If Cid killed me, revenge would be had. Unless of course, he hid the body and no one knew what he'd done …

"You're gonna upset her, and hurt her, and – and throw her away like a rusted piece of machina!" Cid roared, pushing away from the side of the bridge and meeting me toe to toe. "I know your type!"

All lingering thoughts of trying to reconcile with Rikku's dad flew out of my mind. "_My _type?"

"Reckless, idiotic, only out for yourself! You don't see women as people – you see them as things you can use!"

I shook my head in disgust. "You think you know me _so _well."

"You've done it before."

"For Spira's sake, I was a kid!" I shouted, patience gone. "Are you gonna hold that against me for the rest of my life?"

"When it comes to my daughter? Hell, yeah!"

"Um … excuse me?"

Cid and I turned in unison. Freelan, who had approached unnoticed, gulped and took a step backwards beneath our duel gazes.

"Freelan." What was he doing here? More importantly, how much had he heard?

"I'm – I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," the young Al Bhed stammered, looking horribly embarrassed. He wouldn't meet my eye.

"What is it?" I prompted shortly.

"There's a call for you. On the CommSphere. It's from Bikanel Island."

I frowned. "Did Nhadala say what she wanted?"

"It wasn't Nhadala, sir."

"Treilad then."

"No, sir. It was Elhandra."

Elhandra? Before I could process this surprising information, Cid spoke up.

"Take a message."

Even with everything that was going on, there was no way I was going to let _that_ slide. "Unless somethin' changed in the last five seconds, _I'm_ still the leader here. Which means _I_ make the decision, got it?" I poked him in the chest for emphasis.

"Don't push me boy."

"Then keep the hell outta my business." I was talking about more than just the Machine Faction. I turned back to Freelan, who was looking between us with rapt fascination and not a little fear. "Tell her I'll be right there."

Cid stepped forward. "Take a message," he ordered. "We aint finished here."

"Oh what? You gonna yell at me some more? Threaten to tell Rikku all my dark little secrets?"

"I don't make _threats_, boy."

"Well I hate to spoil your fun – no actually, I _don't_ hate it, it gives me endless pleasure – but whatever you _think_ you've got over me is gonna become obsolete." I paused, partly for dramatic impact and partly because I had the feeling I was about to do something really stupid. "_I'm_gonna tell Rikku."

Cid stared at me. He looked surprised and a little disappointed. I really had spoiled his fun. "Right now?"

"Yeah. _Right now_." Before he could say anything else, I turned on my heel and strode confidently off towards the temple. As I passed Freelan, I said, "Tell Lhan I'm sorry but I've got somethin' I gotta do."

"So … so I should take a message?"

"Yeah."

As soon as I was out of sight of the bridge, I slowed my pace, first to a walk and then to a complete standstill. I stared up at the exterior of the temple without really seeing it and let out a deep, shuddering breath. I'd walked the tightrope and survived; my bluff had worked. Hopefully it would get Cid off my back for a few days. The problem was, the man wasn't completely stupid. He'd soon realise that I hadn't told Rikku anything, and then the whole damn mess would start all over again.

Which left me with a choice. I could tell Rikku, free myself from Cid, but wreck my relationship. Or I could keep quiet, keep battling Cid's influence, risk Rikku finding out _anyway_ … but keep my relationship.

It seemed that whichever way I turned, I was going to lose.


	11. Chapter Ten: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** I think this is the quickest I've updated this story in a long time – let's just say this particular chapter has been a long time coming! Thanks, as always, goes to my lovely reviewers and all of you who read this story but don't review, please, let me know what you think. It's only through constructive criticism that my writing can improve ; )

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Ten: Rikku_

* * *

I woke up ridiculously early on the day of the wedding. I like to say it was excitement that made me roll out of bed as the sun rose over the horizon, but if I'm honest, it had more to do with hustle and bustle as the city slowly awakened. Luca seemed so incredibly loud and vibrant after the quiet of Djose Temple.

It had been the previous evening that Yuna had gathered us all together and informed us that there had been a change of plan. I'd been instantly suspicious; she'd been wearing one of those silly, brilliant smiles that undoubtedly meant she'd been speaking to Tidus.

"_We've decided to get married on the beach_," _she had announced without preamble. _"_It's been something I've been thinking about for a while now, but I only got to talk to Tidus about it last night. He agreed – Besaid Temple might be where we first met but the beach is where everything came together._"

She was right about. And after all, Tidus had a bit of a habit of washing up on that beach. It seemed strangely fitting that it would be where he finally got married.

" … _I thought it would be lovely if I could sail there and it won't be along journey from Luca …"_

Wait – Luca? Where did Luca come into it?

My question didn't remain unanswered long. It seemed that my dear cousin had decided that now she was getting married on the beach, it would be wonderfully romantic if she arrived by a gently bobbing boat, rather than a great, rumbling airship.

Which pretty much explains why I woke up in hotel-room in Luca, rather than my nice familiar bedroom in Djose Temple.

Not that there was anything wrong with the hotel-room. It was nice, in a public-establishment kind of way, and it _did_ have spectacular views out across the city. I padded across the cool stone floor and pushed up the shutters. From my room I could see from the green cliffs of the Mi'ihen Highroad, right down to the ocean. In the city itself, people littered the streets like pyreflies in the Moonflow and in the central square I could already see the brightly coloured market stalls being erected. Early it may have been; asleep, Luca was not.

I yawned widely, suddenly caring less about the fascinating city and more about returning to my bed.

Trotting back across the room, I flopped down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was made of stone. White stone, with this dark lines squiggling across them, like some kid had been let loose with a crayon. The lines danced in front of my eyes, shifting and undulating this way and that way. Up and down, left and right, around in a circle …

Just as I was about to drift off, the door of my room slammed open. I was awake instantly, my hands groping for my knives, even while I fought to free myself from the bed sheets. I tumbled sideways off the bed and by the time I managed to locate my weapons, I whole host of people could have assassinated me. It didn't make me grip my knives any less tightly though, as I turned towards the door –

- and relaxed. It wasn't a score of assassins, or even a single one. It was just my cousin.

"You could have knocked!" I grumbled, returning my knives to their place on top of the dresser. "Do you know how early it is?"

Yuna didn't reply. In fact, she didn't move. She remained standing in my doorway in a silky, hotel robe, her hands clutched against her chest.

Alarmed, I moved towards her. "Yuna? What's wrong? Has something happened? Is it Gippal? Or Pops? Oh Spira, it's not Tidus is it - ?"

"I'm getting married today."

Her face was so pale it was almost translucent. Her eyes were wide and fixed on a point somewhere in the distant. Her expression with one of confused horror.

Suddenly I understood completely.

* * *

It took me a good half an hour to get Yuna calmed down.

I can honestly say it was one of the weirdest moments of my life so far. I'm so used to Yuna being so self-assured and confident all the time – I mean, she's the leader of a whole _world_ for Spira's sake. To see her so wrong-footed and nervous over a _wedding_ of all things … well, it just didn't make any sense, you know? What did she have to be worried about? She was marrying Tidus – the guy who she'd spent two years of her life trying to bring back from the Farplane. The guy she loved more than anyone else in the whole of Spira. For such a normally sensible girl, she was acting very irrationally.

Still, a sit-down and several cups of water seemed to calm her down somewhat. At least, she regained some colour and her hands stopped twitching. I judged it was safe enough to try and broach the subject in as diplomatic a way as possible.

"What's wrong with you?"

I really was trying to be diplomatic. But there's only room for one politician in the family, you know?

Yuna lowered the glass and rolled it between her hands. "I don't know," she murmured.

I was determined to get her out of this funk. It was her wedding day, for Spira's sake! The so-called 'happiest day of a girl's life'! Worried faces and frowning weren't allowed today. "Yunie, you love Tidus, right?"

She looked shocked, as if I was doubting her commitment. "Of course I do!"

"Then what's the problem? You're marrying the guy you love. This is a _good_ thing." Ah, you can't beat logical arguments.

"I _do _love him," Yuna repeated.

"Then you marry him! You put a little ring on your finger, you say a couple of romantic things and hey – you're married."

She was silent, worrying the glass between her hands. I reached across and stilled its movement. "Yunie, nothing has to change just because you get married."

She met me gaze instantly, and I knew I'd finally found what this was all about. "But what if it does? What if – what if we're not supposed to get married? What if it all goes horribly wrong?"

"What if you get run over by a rampaging Chocobo? What if Tidus has an unfortunate Blitzball-related accident? What if the world comes to an end?" She stared at me incredulously and I shook my head. "Wait, scratch that last one. Look, what I'm trying to say is you can't start worrying about 'what ifs'. What will be, will be, you know? That's what makes life so much fun – you never know what's going to happen next."

"But –"

"No, no buts." I cut her off with an imperious wave of my hand. "You love Tidus. He loves you. You're getting married. It's really very simple."

Yuna remained silent. I sighed gustily, suddenly feeling impossibly old and mature. "Yunie, you went to the ends of Spira and back again to be with Tidus. You changed the _world_. How can you suggest it's not meant to be?"

The ghost of a smile crossed my cousin's face. Inwardly I grinned smugly. _Score one for Rikku. Now to drive it home_.

"After everything you guys have been through, you _deserve_ this. It's like – it's like Spira, owes you, you know? I mean, you've been sacrificing your own happiness for this world for long enough. It's about time you had some of your own."

Yuna's smile blossomed into something much more genuine. She finally put the glass down on the table.

"Besides, if you and Tidus don't manage to make it down the aisle, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Yuna's eyes widened. "Rikku! Is there something you've not been telling me?"

I suddenly realise what my words had suggested and my cheeks began to burn. "No – nothing like that."

Yuna continued to watch me, her eyes dancing.

I flushed even darker. "We haven't even – I mean – we're not … look, we've only been together for a short time – will you stop grinning at me and start getting ready?"

Yuna laughed and allowed me to change the subject as I steered her towards the dressing table. We chatted inconsequently as Yuna played around with the makeup that she'd brought with her and I played with her hair. Keeping up a stream of chatter has never been a problem for me and I knew it was helping to keep Yuna relaxed. It also allowed my mind to wander as I absently played with Yunie's hair. Inevitably it started wandering back to Gippal and a particular conversation that we'd had a few days ago.

As I stewed over the problem for several minutes, it slowly struck me that this was the perfect time to ask for some advice.

"Yunie?"

My cousin looked back at me in the mirror. I toyed with a strand of her hair, twisting it around my finger.

"What's wrong?"

I studied her dark hair, watching as it reflected the light that was shining in from the open window.

"Rikku?" She reached up and caught my hand in hers.

"Have you and Tidus …" The words got caught in my throat. I coughed awkwardly and tried again. "Have you and Tidus ever …"

"Have we ever had sex?"

For once I was glad of Yuna's perceptiveness. "Yeah, that," I agreed quickly, watching her expression carefully in the mirror.

Yuna looked thoughtful – which puzzled me a bit at first. I mean, it's a fairly simple answer isn't it? You either have or you haven't.

"Yes," she finally said.

I was surprised. Somehow I'd always imagined Yuna as this virginal kinda person. You know, untouchable. The whole no-sex-before-marriage deal? I would've thought that was right up her street.

"You looked shocked."

I blinked and came back to myself. "I guess I kinda am."

She smiled. "You thought we would wait?"

I nodded.

The thoughtful expression returned. "I wanted to at first. It seemed … I don't know, the proper way to do things. But then, the night he proposed … Oh Rikku, it just felt so right." Her eyes were shining.

I gathered her hair up in my hands and considered it. "But - but how did you _know_ it was the right time?"

"Rikku, are you and Gippal … ?"

"No!" I dropped her hair and stepped back. Yuna raised her eyebrows and I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at her. "At least – at least not yet," I found myself admitting instead.

"But you want to?"

"Yes. No. Oh, I don't know!" I threw my hands up in the air and eyed Yuna plaintively. "Isn't it a bit soon for me to be thinking about this?"

"Perhaps."

I chewed on my lip. Gathering up her hair again I piled it on top of her head and began securing it in place with a number of pins.

"But what if he … well what if he wants but I – I don't?"

"Then he'll respect you and he'll wait," Yuna told me calmly.

"But what if he can't? What if -"

"Rikku what were you telling me about 'what ifs'? Now I know I don't know Gippal as well as you do but he seems like a decent man. Which means he _will _respect you. I don't think you've got anything to worry about."

"Says the woman who was worrying about marrying the man of her dreams," I grumbled. She made it all sound so simple.

Yuna had the decency to blush. "I just needed an outside perspective, that's all. And now that I've returned the favour, do you think you could finish doing my hair some time this year?"

My movements had slowed to a standstill during our conversation and at her words, my hands started moving again. Looping strands of hair around one another, twisting them upwards, securing them with the delicate silver pins. Now that I was concentrating fully it didn't take me longer to complete the style that Yuna had decided upon weeks before.

"There! All done."

Yuna admired herself in the mirror. "Perfect," she declared, twisting this way and that. "You've done a great job."

I patted her on the shoulder and made to turn away.

"And Rikku?"

I looked back. Yuna was watching me in the mirror, her vari-coloured eyes serious.

"You know that whenever you need to talk, I'm here for you."

I rush of gratitude rose up inside me and threw my arms around her and hugged her. I _love_ my cousin.

* * *

I was half dressed, and in the middle of fixing my own hair, when there was a knock at my door. I froze, a pair of pins sticking out of my mouth and several more sticking out of my hair – giving me the look of a demented Dual Horn. Hoping against hope that it was Yuna or one of my fellow bridesmaids, I scurried across to the door and opened it a crack.

It was definitely not a girl on the other side of that wooden frame.

"Rikku?"

I smiled weakly at Gippal, pulling the pins out of my mouth and sticking them haphazardly into my hair. After all, it could hardly look any worse than it already did, right? And at least this way I'd actually be able to explain why he couldn't come in.

"Hi. Um, this isn't actually a good time, so if you could come back later … ?"

"Nice hair. I think it's a good look for you. Does the rest of your outfit match … ?" He tried to peer around the door.

I squealed and pushed the door shut, spinning so that my back was against it. There was no way – _no way_ – I was going to let him see me like this. I have a reputation to retain, you know?

"Rikku?" His voice was muffled through the wood. "Is everythin' okay in there?"

"What do you want?" I called back.

There was a brief pause. I could imagine him running a hand through his hair and looking frustrated. "Well I just came to say that I'm leavin' for the weddin' now."

Of course – I'd forgotten that my Pops, Brother and Gippal were going on ahead so that they would reach Besaid before the ceremony began. Yuna wanted everything in place before she arrived.

"Um – okay. Okay, just give me a second –" I cast about desperately for something to throw on over my underclothes.

"Rikku, _what_ is goin' on in there?"

"I'm just – I'm not decent, okay?" _Oh where in Spira's name did I put my robe?_

I could hear the grin in his voice. "And that's a problem?"

_There you are!_ "Not anymore," I informed him, snatching up the robe and wrapping it around myself. Casting about for an appropriate place to sit, I perched on the edge of the chair and arranged the robe carefully about me. "You may enter," I called grandly once I was sure my modesty was intact.

The door opened and Gippal stepped gingerly into the room. When he saw that I was actually wearing something he looked slightly disappointed.

"Stop staring," I said crossly, folding my arms across my chest.

Gippal grinned in that way that never failed to make me feel all tingly inside. "How can I when it's you?"

It was such a sweet thing for him to say that I felt myself blushing. Gippal had the ability to irritate me more than anyone else in Spira, but he also had the ability to make me feel like the most important person in our world. It was just one of the things I loved about him.

"So you're leaving?"

"Looks like." He shoved his hands into his pockets and for the first time I noticed his clothing. His usual everyday clothes had been replaced by smart black trousers and a shirt in black, blue and gold. Even his blond hair was carefully brushed. He looked gorgeous and I had to pinch myself to remind me that he was _my_ boyfriend. "You look nice," I told him nonchalantly.

"Thanks." He shifted uncomfortably under my scrutiny. I swallowed my laughter; he looked like a little boy brought up before the headmaster for bad behaviour.

I took pity on him and stood. "Come here," I commanded, holding out my arms. He stepped into my embrace, sliding his arms around my back while mine twined around his neck. The feeling of his warm hands against the thin silk of my robe made me shiver.

"Have a good trip," I murmured. Our faces were barely an inch apart. I could feel his warm breath against my cheeks.

"I will." He bent his head and kissed me several times, so sweetly that I thought I was going to faint.

I smiled against his mouth. "And try not to kill my Pops."

He pulled back slightly and there was a slightly troubled expression on his face. "Actually, Rikku –"

"Gippal?"

The sound of my brother's voice was a serious passion killer. Gippal and I drew back from each other and tried to look like we hadn't just been kissing as Brother appeared in the doorway. Luckily, unlike other members of my family, my older brother isn't really the most observant person and he just grinned at us obliviously.

"_Yna oui nayto du ku, ku, ku_?" (Are you ready to go, go, go?)

"I'm just comin'." Gippal looked down at me, a frown between his eyes. "Rikku …"

"Tell me later." I pressed a finger to his lips, wishing I could replace it with my mouth. If only my brother hadn't been standing two feet away … oh what the hell. Wasn't this wedding all about me and Gippal being a couple in front of people? Throwing caution to the winds, I pulled my hand away, stood on my tiptoes and kissed my boyfriend goodbye. Gippal was so surprised he didn't respond. Behind him I could see that Brother's eyes were the size of blitzballs.

"See you at the wedding."

Gippal reached down and touched my cheek fleetingly. "Promise we can talk later?"

"Sure," I agreed, puzzled. He looked so serious all of a sudden. Then he grinned and everything was back to normal.

"You know, you should really put some clothes on."

I stuck my tongue out at him as, laughing, he led a confused Brother out of my room and closed the door behind him.

* * *

I bounced impatiently.

Beside me, Paine gave me an irritated look as the seat moved beneath both of us. In truth, I think that more than a shifting piece of furniture was annoying her. The permanent scowl on her face was probably the result of the fact that Paine was wearing a _dress_.

Yup, an actual dress. And not a warrior-like one that Lulu usually wears. And full-blown, silky-blue bridesmaid's dress.

Every time I looked at her I got the giggles.

Just to annoy her, I bounced again. This time I got a glare in return. "Knock it off, Rikku," Paine growled.

"What?" I asked innocently, blinking up at her.

"You know what."

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about." Paine watched me for several long moments and then turned her back. I waited until she'd settled herself and bounced again.

"Rikku!"

"Please try and focus children," Lulu interrupted from her position in a chair opposite us. Unlike Paine, Lulu looked perfectly comfortable in her blue dress, even though it was a far cry from what she usually wore. "Remember who this day is about."

As if her words had summoned Yuna, my cousin chose that moment to make her grand entrance. All the silly jokes I'd prepared about her appearance dissolved in my mind as Yuna stepped out of her room and into the central lounge area where the three of us were waiting. I took in the vision that was my cousin in her wedding dress wordlessly. Yuna looked _beautiful_.

The dress was very simply, but infinitely elegant. A very pale blue – almost white – it left one shoulder bare and hugged the lines of her body. The short train brushed against her ankles and the matching veil cascaded over the mass of curls that I had pinned up an hour before.

"What do you think?" Yuna asked nervously when none of us made any kind of comment.

Lulu rose and stepped over to her. She smoothed a strand hair back from out of Yuna's eyes and kissed her on the forehead. "You look beautiful," the older woman told her quietly. "I'm so proud of you, Yuna."

Yuna blinked back tears that had suddenly sprung into her eyes. I knew Lulu's words meant a lot to my cousin. Growing up without a mother, Yuna had looked to Lulu as a kind of surrogate older sister and there was no one's opinion that she respected more. She hugged Lulu tightly and then turned to Paine and I, who were still sitting down.

Paine rose slowly. "While I'll never forgive you for this –" She jabbed a hand down at her own dress, "- yours isn't so bad."

From Paine, that was quite a compliment. Yuna beamed and I think she would have hugged Paine as well if the older girl hadn't quickly sat back down again.

Which just left me.

What more did I have to say? I knew I had to come up with something good. This was Yuna – my only female relative, my best friend, the sister I had never had. We'd gone through so much together – she'd told me her secrets, I'd told her mine. The only thing that was coming close to rivalling my connection with Yuna was the one I was forming with Gippal. I knew she'd always be there for me and I loved her more than I could put into words.

Unfortunately, I had to say something. Yuna was beginning to look a little concerned.

So I stood up and crossed to the room until I was standing in front of her. I opened my mouth to say something – _anything_ – but my mind went blank and I ended up gaping helplessly at my cousin.

As she took in my expression, Yuna began to smile. "I suppose the fact that I have reduced you to silence is the greatest compliment you could have paid me."

With that comment any hold I'd had on my laughter broke and I begin giggling manically. Lulu smiled and even the stoic Paine laughed at Yuna's words. As I had only an hour or so before, I threw my arms around Yuna and hugged her as tightly as I could.

"You're doing the right thing," I whispered in her ear.

"I know," she murmured back.

When I finally released her, she stepped away and smoothed her dress down. Checking the position of her veil, she took a deep breath. "It's time."

Everyone looked at me expectantly. I blinked back at them. "What?"

"Rikku … the flowers?"

"Oh!" I'd completely forgotten the one task I'd been asked to do for Yuna's wedding._ Look after the flowers. Now where did I put them …?_

"They're in my room. Hold on a second." I picked up the bottom of my dress and scurried awkwardly back into my hotel room. There they were – sitting comfortably in a pot of water in the corner of the room where I'd left them the previous evening. "Got you."

Picking up one bunch of flowers is difficult at the best of times. Trying to pick up four was somewhat beyond me and after juggling with them for a few moments – and getting a nice wet patch on the front of my dress – I called out, "Um – could I have a hand in here, please?"

There was no reply.

"Paine? Lulu? Could you help me with the flowers?"

Footsteps sounded behind me. "Here," I thrust two of the bunches of flowers out, turning as I spoke, "If you could just take these …"

My words trailed off as my eyes alighted on the figure standing in the doorway of my room. The flowers fell to the floor as I stumbled backwards, my mouth opening to scream for help even as my hands scrambled frantically for some kind of weapon. I just had enough time to glimpse the still forms of Lulu, Paine and Yuna in the room beyond before something sharp struck me on the forehead and I fell into darkness.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** This story seems to be writing itself recently – which is a nice break from the wrestling with it that I've had to do with some of the previous chapters. Thanks for the great response to the previous chapter – things are really hotting up in terms of the action plotline, so I hope you all keep reading and reviewing! (Yay for passing the 300 review mark!)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Eleven: Gippal_

* * *

Okay, so here's how things stand:

Days since Cid threatened me – five.

Attempts to raise the subject with Rikku – seven.

Times chickened out – three.

Times interrupted by Brother and/or other family members – four.

Chance of telling Rikku in the next few days – very slim/non-existent.

Not exactly a great situation. And do you know what's not making it any better? Being stuck on a ship with Cid. You think the guy would be too busy thinking about his niece's wedding but no – every time I enter the Bridge he gives me that special look. The 'I'm-going-to-tell-Rikku-everything' look. Bet being at Yuna's wedding won't stop _him._

I'm going to have to get to her first. Maybe I can just pull her aside –

"You gonna stand there gawpin' all day or you gonna get off my ship?"

Ah, the dulcet tones of our intrepid leader. Turning – and quickly hiding how rattled I was that he had managed to sneak up behind me – I gave him a salute. "Just checkin' I've got everythin'. Wouldn't want to have to come back." _And spend any more time in your delightful company._

He grunted, unconvinced. "Hurry up."

I gathered my bags together and headed towards the landing ramp. Cid followed on my heels and Brother brought up the rear, chattering constantly and making me wish I possessed the ability to cast a Silence spell.

Clattering down the ramp I emerged, blinking, into the afternoon sun of Besaid Island. The beach had been transformed from a boring expanse of white sand into something befitting the wedding of Lady Yuna. Tall white torches illuminated the neat rows of white chairs and the archway that stood at the head of them. Everything was entwined with pieces of white ribbon and bunches of pale flowers. Simple, understated, and pretty cool, if I'm honest.

"Look who finally arrived."

I whirled around at the familiar voice to find Nooj and Baralai standing behind me, the former scrutinizing me over the top of his glasses and the latter smiling gently. Whooping rather overenthusiastically, I threw my arms around my friends and squeezed as tightly as I could. Baralai bore the treatment with a long-suffering expression and Nooj remained motionless until I released them and stepped backwards. "You haven't changed," he observed dryly.

"Did you expect me to?"

"Well, after everything that has happened recently …" Baralai shook his head. "Your spirits are remarkably high."

I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Cid was still watching me. Smiling as brightly as I could manage, I took them both by the arm and led them quickly up the beach. "We're going to a wedding, the world is at peace … _Cid's blackmailing me_, what isn't there to be happy about?"

I'll give my friends' credit – they caught on pretty quickly. The period of confused silence only lasted for about four seconds.

Then – "Cid's blackmailing you?" Baralai's usually cultured voice was shocked. "What are you talking about?"

I continued up the beach and they followed me without comment, although Nooj's surly expression suggested his patience was running out. When we had rounded the corner and the beach – and more importantly, all it's occupants – were out of sight, did I fill them in on my current Cid-blackmail situation.

"You know that thing that happened that time on Bikanel? That thing that Cid found out about? Well he's not real happy that his darling baby girl has taken up with me, so guess what? He's threatening to tell her about it."

There was another one of those silences. This time, rather than looking confused, Nooj's face showed slight amusement and Baralai's expression was a combination of sympathy, embarrassment and exasperation.

"Only you, Gippal."

I ran a hand through my hair, ruffling the spikes. "I know, I know, okay? I screwed up. I'm not making excuses – but I _was _just a kid. And I don't see why a stupid mistake I made years ago should ruin everything I've got goin' on now."

"So what are you going to do about it?" Only now did Nooj speak.

"Well …" I fixed a winsome smile on my face. "I was hoping you might help me out with that."

They shared an ironic glance. "We're rather busy trying to keep the world from imploding at the moment."

"Oh things are _that_ bad. Surely you've got a few minutes to spare to help out an old friend …?"

"What do you want us to do?" Nooj asked bluntly.

I folded my arms across my chest. "I need you to keep Cid distracted until I've had time to tell Rikku myself."

"The last few months not enough time for you?"

"This was kind of … a recent development."

"Let me guess. If Cid hadn't threatened you, you never would have told her." Baralai's disapproval was clear.

"You know Baralai, for a guy so up with the church, you have surprisingly little faith … so will you help me?"

"What's in it for us?"

"My eternal gratitude? C'mon guys – help me out here!"

Nooj and Baralai looked at each other.

"You know he's going to bounce around like a baby Dingo until we say yes," Nooj remarked conversationally.

Baralai sighed. "I knew signing up for the Crimson Squad was a bad idea."

"Maybe if we do this for him, he'll go away."

"That's a rather unusually optimistic thought for you, Nooj."

"We're attending a wedding; I'm a good mood."

"So do we help him?"

"I am still here you know," I felt compelled to point out, shifting impatiently from foot to foot.

They ignored me. "I suppose we _do_ have a certain amount of free time at the moment," Baralai commented thoughtfully.

"Just today and tomorrow. We're due to meet with the delegation from Kilika after that –"

"I remember."

"And Yuna won't be there either – we could be in for problems if they expect to talk with her."

"So what are you saying?"

"That we should enjoy our free time."

"Which means …?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, we should do what he asks. We'll get no peace otherwise."

Baralai eyed my bouncing form and then sighed. "It _would_ be a charitable deed."

Nooj put his hand on my shoulder, stilling my movement. "You will owe us."

"Of course, sure, great! You guys are the best."

"So what do you want us to do?"

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon poking around Besaid village. Despite what you might think, I was _not_ hiding from Cid – it was a long time since I'd last been in Besaid and I wanted to see what had changed. A lot can happen in ten years, you know? They could have rebuilt the temple; all the tents could have been reworked in patterned cloth; they could have repaved the central square …

Yeah, all right. So I was hiding from Cid. Not because I'm a coward or anything – I've just got healthy sense of self-preservation, you know? Besides, Besaid really _is_ an interesting place.

After I'd walked around it for the ninth time, some of the shine was beginning to wear off and I was debating heading back towards the beach when a voice hailed me.

"Hey man!"

I whirled around to see a blue-clad Al Bhed approaching me, a hand raised in greeting. I frowned against the sun as his face came into focus.

"Buddy?"

"How ya doin'? Haven't seen you since … well, gotta be that time when we all saved the world."

A grin spread across my face and I clasped his hand. "What are you doin' here?"

He gave me an odd look. "Attending a wedding! What, you think I'm here by coincidence?"

Yeah, put like that it was a bit of a stupid question. I shook my head. "I kinda meant up here in the village"

"Playing messenger-boy. Everyone's gathering down on the beach."

"You mean something's actually going to_ happen_? And here I was thinkin' this was all just a big effort to support the growing tourism scene in Besaid." I cast my eye over the empty square. "Which, by the way, is goin' to need all the help it can get."

Buddy rolled his eyes. "Still the same old Gippal."

"Would you have me any other way?" I fixed him with a winsome smile.

"It must have been a long time – I'd almost forgotten how irritating you can be."

"Buddy, you wound me. No really, you do."

"And yet, somehow, you always manage to recover."

I grinned. "Practice."

That finally got a laugh out of him. He ran one hand over his cropped hair and then shot me a shrewd look. "So, you and Rikku, huh?"

I blinked at the abrupt change in topic. "Yeah."

He nodded slowly. "You do realise that if you hurt her there'll be a lot of guys waitin' around to kick your ass."

I resisted the urge to gulp. I'd had all this from Cid of course, but something about Buddy's carefully neutral expression was a hell of a lot scarier.

"I'm not gonna hurt her."

"That's okay then." Suddenly Buddy was all smiles again. He clapped his hand on my shoulder and before I knew what was happening, we were moving off towards the cliff path.

As we hurried towards the beach, I thought seriously about what Buddy had said. It quickly made me realise something – I could _never_ break up with Rikku and live to tell the tale. Which meant either she had to break up with me – and not because of me hurting her, or something equally stupid – or in five years time it wasn't going to be Tidus and Yuna's wedding that we were late for.

I don't know which thought terrified me more and it was with some relief that Buddy and I emerged onto the beach and I could push those ideas firmly to the back of my mind.

For a wedding that was about to start, the beach looked kind of disorganised. Most of the guests were gathered down by the dock, but some, like Leblanc, Ormi and Logos, had already taken their seats. Tidus and Wakka were standing at the head of the rows of chairs, the former looking distinctly green in the face and the latter ineffectually patting him on the shoulder. Cid, Brother and what looked like the kid Shinra were by the water's edge, where I severely hoped they would stay.

Overshadowing everything, was the view. The sun had turned into this molten ball and the ocean look like it was on fire. It wouldn't go as far to say it was 'pretty' or anything, but I _could_ understand why Yuna had wanted to make her entrance about now. For a normally serious girl, she could be kinda giddy on occasion.

I think it's Rikku's influence. She could make a stone giddy.

As the sand under my feet grew cooler, I sauntered down the beach, making sure that I always stayed at the opposite end to Cid. Quite how things were going to work within the wedding itself, I hadn't thought about yet – as Rikku's partner it was pretty much a given that I'd end up sitting _somewhere_ near her father – but for the moment I could content myself with the knowledge that there were several people and hundreds of millions of grains of sand between us. Even Cid wasn't so stupid to try anything now … was he?

I guess it wouldn't hurt to get as close as I could to where the bridal party's boat was going to land. It wasn't that I wanted to get to Rikku first or anything, but she would be expecting me, you know?

As soon as Cid saw me heading towards the water's edge, he sprang into action and we ended up in this bizarre race, both of us struggling not to look like we were trying to beat the other down to the dock.

Of course, Cid hadn't reckoned on me pulling in outside support. He'd barely gone five metres when they swooped down on him like a pair of Condors and began talking animatedly – or at least as animatedly as Baralai and Nooj ever do. Cid's face began to resemble a Bomb and despite the ridiculousness of the situation I felt a smug surge of satisfaction that I had managed to outsmart him. Not that it was hard, of course. I mean, Cid's not exactly renowned for his intelligence, you know?

It was only when I drew closer to the water that I noticed a lone figure standing on the wooden dock, gazing out across the ocean. Cover in short blue fur and with a splintered horn, it was easy to recognise Kimarhi Ronso, leader of the Ronso Tribes. He was probably the friend of Rikku's that I knew the least. We'd met before, of course, but our paths didn't cross very often. Maybe this was why I turned on my heel and stepped up onto the dock. Or maybe it was more to do with the fact that Kimarhi's a strong-looking guy. I don't think even Cid'd be stupid enough to try anything if I was with Kimarhi.

As I drew nearer to the Ronso I noticed that his posture was tense and his fur was almost standing on end. Now I'm not a great judge of Ronso behaviour but I'm pretty sure he was upset about something.

"Hey Kimarhi. How ya doin'?" I went for the light and airy approach, hoping that he'd remember my name and we wouldn't get into one those awkward I-don't-know-who-you-are-but-I'm-going-to-pretend-I-do moments.

"Gippal."

So apparently, the name issue wasn't a problem. I watched his still face for a moment and then tried again. "What are you lookin' at?"

"I am watching the ocean."

Wow, this guy really went in for monosyllables. And I'd thought _Nooj_ was bad.

"You're watchin' for the 'ship?"

"The airship, yes." His eyes never wavered from their course.

I sighed and decided I might to cut my losses. "Well … it was nice talkin' to you again."

He didn't reply. Shrugging, I began to make my way back along the dock.

"She is late."

If I had been a metre further away, I wouldn't have heard Kimarhi's rumbling words. As it was, I stopped and turned back.

"What did you say?"

"I said that she is late."

"The 'ship? You're talkin' about the airship?"

He shook his head. "Yuna."

I considered. Rikku had told me a bit about Kimarhi and Yuna's history. After her father's death, Yuna had been looked after by Kimarhi, or something like that. There was a bond between them – one that went beyond just simple friendship. If Kimarhi was worried about Yuna …

"They're probably just delayed –"

Kimarhi shook his head again. "No."

"Then maybe it's on purpose. Isn't it supposed to be fashionable for the bride to be late to the weddin' –"

"No."

"Then why would they be late?"

"That I do not know."

His mysterious manner was beginning to irritate me but I still felt compelled to ask, "Do you think somethin' is wrong?"

Kimarhi was silent for a moment. A faint frown marked his forehead. "Maybe."

* * *

The evening wore on and by the time the sun had completely slipped beyond the horizon, Kimarhi wasn't the only one sharing concerns over the non-appearance of the bridal party. Things finally came to a head when Tidus, who had been growing increasingly agitated, burst out, "I'm going to Luca and you're not going to stop me, Wakka!"

All other conversation on the beach ground to a halt. Those who didn't know Tidus and Yuna very well only looked faintly embarrassed. They probably suspected Yuna had got cold feet at the last moment. Those, like me, who knew the couple better, were worried. After everything she and Tidus had gone through, there was no way that Yuna just wouldn't turn up for her own wedding. Even if she _was_ backing out, she still would have got in contact, let someone know.

And if something had happened to stop Yuna from attending the wedding, then where were Lulu, Paine … and Rikku?

"Tidus, just – hey, you gotta calm down, man!" The former Blitzball captain caught hold of his friend's shoulder and stopped him from storming off to where the airships were landed. "Yuna's probably on her way, ya? What's she gonna say when she turns up and finds you gone?"

"But –"

"Wakka is right, my friend," Baralai cut in, ever the diplomat. "Your place is here."

"Not if something's happened to Yuna –"

"We do not know that," Baralai counselled gently. "There could be any number of reasons for her delay. However, if you are concerned, I would suggest that a small group of us make the journey to Luca in your stead."

"I'll go," I volunteered instantly. When I became the object of a number of questioning or speculative gazes, I shrugged. "I can be spared."

"Then I'm goin' too," Cid said quickly.

"Well as lovely as your company would be, I'm afraid the weddin' can't really spare you." I gave him a sympathetic look. "Your givin' Yuna away, remember?"

"Wakka, I want you to go," Tidus broke in firmly, his composure once again intact.

Wakka looked surprised. "But I'm best-man –"

"Exactly. Yuna knows you and I trust you …" Tidus lowered his voice so that only those of us standing around him caught his words, "… Bring her back to me."

Wakka clasped Tidus' arm. "I will."

* * *

And so I found myself in the unique position of accompanying yet another one of Rikku's friends _back_ to Luca. It was kinda funny if you think about it. I mean, I'd always known that I'd end up getting to know Rikku's friends better now that she was my girlfriend – the same way I expected she'd see more of Baralai and Nooj. But somehow I hadn't pictured it all happening at once and I certainly hadn't expected the undercurrent of tension that shadowed the flight to Luca. Oh Wakka was nice enough – don't get me wrong. He's pretty much the opposite of Kimarhi in the conversation stakes but all the time that we were talking, I couldn't help thinking about Rikku. I mean, what if something really _was_ wrong? What if something _had _happened to them? Even in the middle of preparing for a wedding, it had to be noted that the women of Yuna's bridal party had all helped to save the world at some point. They were fighters, healers, mages. Even without Aeons and Spheres, they were hardly a bunch of weak-willed women, you know?

Which meant they were probably perfectly fine and Wakka and I were going to look like Spira's biggest idiots when we reached Luca.

We landed outside the city and I lead the way as we wound our way towards the hotel that I had left only this morning. The building looked exactly the same: a cheery sign, bright window boxes, a cool, whitewashed front. It wasn't the largest or most expensive hotel in Luca but Yuna had chosen it without comment. I'd figured she'd known the owners of something but now that I looked at it more closely I realised how private and secluded it was. After all, this was High Summoner Yuna's wedding we were talking about. If the press had found out about it Yuna and Tidus wouldn't have gotten any peace. As it was, they'd somehow managed to get away with it – or they would do if Yuna ever actually reached the beach of Besaid.

"This the place?" Wakka asked, following my gaze over the building.

"Yeah." I pushed the door inwards and stepped into the darkened interior. "You ever been here before?"

Wakka shook his head. "Only ever come to Luca for the Blitzball really. And since the baby came – not really had the time, ya know?"

I'd smiled tolerantly. Kids are a bit of foreign concept to me. As long as they go home to their parents at the end of the day then that's okay, but having my own? Not something I _ever _want to think about.

The reception area of the hotel was as inviting as the exterior. I fixed a brilliant smile on my face and headed over to the reception desk. The girl behind it blushed and busied herself with shuffling some of the papers before her.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me if the Lady Yuna and her companions are still within their suite?"

The girl's cheeks stained even darker. "I – I believe so, sir. I have not seen them leave although I could have been away from the desk … I could go and ask my sister. She will know –"

"Thanks for your kind offer but I think we'll just go and check on them ourselves." I flashed my smile again. "If that's okay?"

"S-Sure." If I'd've asked for her first-born child, I don't thought she would have refused me.

"Wakka," I called. The red-haired man turned from his contemplation of one of the pictures of the wall and followed me up the narrow stairs. We emerged onto the top floor landing and I led the way down the right hand corridor to the rooms that had been given over to Yuna and her party.

The outer door of the central living room was closed. I knocked against the wooden frame and waited.

The door remained closed.

I knocked again, louder this time.

Once more, the door remained closed. Frowning, I pressed my ear against the door but I couldn't even hear anyone moving around inside the apartment.

I pulled back and glanced at Wakka, who shrugged, guessing what I was thinking. "Can't do any harm."

I reached out and tried the door handle. The door opened easily, swinging inwards as I pushed against the frame. "Hello?" I called as I stepped inside the room. "Rikku? Yuna? You here?"

Silence was the only thing that greeted my words. Wakka moved up beside me. "I don't like this," he murmured, eyes roving across the neatly arranged furniture. "You check the rooms on the right, yah? I'll take the ones on the left."

I nodded, picking my way soundlessly across the floor towards as Wakka moved quietly in the other direction. For some reason, neither of us wanted to make an issue of our presence in the apartment. There was a sense there, almost a presence. Something had happened here, in this hotel, in Luca. Something …

I pushed open the first door. This, if memory served, had been the room that Brother and Cid had shared. Unsurprisingly it was empty, the bed neatly made and the curtains drawn at the window. It didn't look as if anyone had been in this room since we'd left for Besaid.

Moving around, I opened the second door. This one had been Lulu's room … and here was where alarm began to set in. Lulu's clothes were still in a case beside the bed. Her cosmetics were still on the dressing table. Her bed was unmade.

"Wakka!" I shouted and moments later, the other man appeared in the doorway.

"What …?" he began and then his eyes registered some of the items in the room. His face became ashen. "Lulu," he whispered, moving into the room.

"This was her room. I don't think it looks any different from when we left – no, don't touch that!" Wakka froze in the action of reaching out to pick up Lulu's hairbrush. "It's evidence."

Wakka sank down onto the chair in front of the dressing table. "Where is she?"

He looked so shaken that I squared my shoulders and took over. "Stay here. I'll check out the other rooms."

The third room was as empty as the first, although this was no great surprise as I had slept there the previous night. Strange thing was, I couldn't remember making the bed although the sheets were as crisply folded as if the bed had never been slept in.

The next room was Yuna's. The door stood slightly ajar and I could see that like Lulu, her belongings were still scattered around the room. And like Lulu's, apart from scattered clothes and cosmetics, the room was deserted.

The room next to Yuna's was the one that Rikku had stayed in. I remember this clearly because Cid had been adamant that Rikku and I wouldn't sleep in adjoining rooms and besides, apart from my own, I'd spent the most time in Rikku's room.

The growing knot of fear in my stomach tightened as I pushed the door open. It swung inward ponderously slowly and unveiled a room identical in size to the others and spread liberally with Rikku's possessions. The extent of the mayhem almost made me smile until I caught sight of something kinda weird. There were a bunch of bouquets lying discarded over by the window. Two of them were still intact but the larger one and one of the smaller ones had been trampled into the ground. There was also a large water stain on the wooden floor and what looked like shards of some kind of ceramics.

Mindful of the need to preserve the scene, I resisted the urge to explore any further and moved on to the next room.

The door was locked. I was so surprised that for a moment, I just stared at the door handle, as if the power of my one-eyed gaze would compel it to open. I tried the handle again, confused. Why was one of the doors locked when all the others were open? Weren't these doors on lockable from the inside?

Momentarily ignoring my pact to preserve the scene, I kicked the door as hard as I could. The wood splintered but the lock still held, so I kicked it again. The sound must have attracted Wakka's attention because footsteps sounded behind me. "What you doing, man?"

"Kicking down a door," I grunted, giving the door one last ferocious kick and smiling grimly when it buckled inward. The smile was wiped off my face a second later when I caught sight of the still forms lying in the middle of the room.

"_Cred!_. Wakka, get in here!" (Shit!)

I scampered over the remains of the shattered door and threw myself down beside the nearest body. Lulu's dark hair had pulled free from its fastenings and splayed across her face. Her pale skin was almost translucent and the back of her head was sticky with blood. Hands trembling, I pressed my fingers against her neck, feeling for a pulse. For a few terrible seconds I couldn't feel one. Then the faintest beat pushed against my finger. It was weak and thready, but Lulu _was_ alive.

A groan sounded behind me. Whirling around, I saw that Paine's eyes were fluttering open, one hand rising slowly to massage her head. Her palm came away bloody.

"Easy Paine. Take it slowly." I wrapped an arm around her back and helped her to sit up. Behind me, Wakka burst through the doorway and gathered his injured wife up in his arms, talking to her frantically. I ignored his rising voice and focused on my friend instead. "Paine, what happened? Where's Yuna and Rikku?"

"I don't …" She blinked slowly. "I can't … "

"Please Paine. It's important."

Her red eyes were unfocused. "I'm not sure … we were – we were waiting for … what were we waiting for … ? Flowers? Yeah – something to do with flowers … Rikku …" I tensed at her mention of my girlfriend. "… Rikku had gone to – to get the flowers. We were in the central room and then … the door! The door opened! I thought it was just room service or something but … but it wasn't …" Her voice trailed off.

"What was it?"

"Someone – someone bad. They hit us with a Sleep spell … but it didn't – it didn't work properly. We were protected. So then they – they hit us … they hit Lulu, then me … "

"Paine, what happened to Yuna and Rikku?"

"They – they were last. They were hit and then … then they were taken."


	13. Chapter Twelve: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Sorry you've had to wait for this chapter – I'd written it all but then I went on holiday and it kinda got shoved to one side. Also, I know it's significantly shorter than most of the other chapters, but I wanted to post what I had rather than mess around with it just to try and made it longer. After all, it's quality, not quantity ; ) Oh and you can expect the next chapter a lot sooner than this one - I've already written part of it. Enjoy : )

* * *

**Our Story **

_Chapter Twelve: Rikku_

* * *

There have been many times in my life that I have been scared. There have been even more times when I have been terrified. I've feared for my life, I've feared for the lives of my friends and family, hell, when Sin was around I feared for the lives of everyone in Spira, you know?

But I've never, _never_ felt more helpless as I did now, sitting bound and blindfolded, my ears straining for any kind of clue as to what in Spira's name was happening to me.

Even when Yuna had been on her pilgrimage, heading towards almost certain death, I'd been able to hold onto a shred of optimism. I'd been convinced that Tidus or I would come up with a plan to save my cousin – that we'd manage to stop her from summoning the Final Aeon, you know? Sure, the details of my master plan had been a bit lacking but I'd been right, hadn't I? We _did_ save Yunie. And we managed to destroy Sin forever. But now …

Now my hands were tied behind my back, there was a blindfold across my eyes and someone out there in the world of Spira had done this to me.

If I hadn't been so scared, I probably would have been furiously angry.

A low, growling sound caught my attention. What was it? There was something awfully familiar about it and yet I couldn't quite –

It sounded again, closer this time, and I realised that the rumbling had been building since I'd awoken. Memory stirred at the back of my mind. It was growing closer, always growing closer –

Light broke through the darkness and flared across my eyes. It was such a contrast to the pitch-blackness of the blindfold that I think I cried out. My heart was racing; my breath was coming out in pants –

A storm. A storm was coming. Wherever I was, there was a storm. A storm with _lightning._

And not just a storm. Underneath the stirrings of thunder and the lashings of light there was something else. The soft scrapping of cloth against stone, ragged breathing that eclipsed my own …

"Hello?" I called nervously, every muscle in my body tensing. "Is anyone there?"

The thunder boomed in the background. I flinched as a flash of light slashed across the blindfold. At least it told me there was a window somewhere, so although it might feel like it, I wasn't locked up completely in the dark.

The thunder growled again and I gritted my teeth. There are many things that I don't like in life, but very few that I actively hate. Thunder and lightning, and storms in general, are one of those things and while I have attempted to conquer my fear in the past, I'm certainly not looking to relocate to the Thunder Plains anytime soon.

Stone shifted. This time I had definitely heard someone move. "Who's there?" I called, hating my voice for shaking. "What – what do you want with me?"

" … R-Rikku?"

Such an intense feeling of relief welled up inside of me that I started crying. That voice – I knew that voice! I wasn't alone anymore! A tear crawled down my cheek as I shifted my position, my whole body leaning towards the voice. "Yuna?"

"Oh thank, Spira!" My cousin's voice trembled. "You're – you're okay."

I twisted around to the left. "Where are you?"

"I – I don't know. My hands are tied and there's – someone put a blindfold over my eyes …"

There – I had her. Wherever she was, she was close, and now directly in front of me. I wondered if I would have been able to reach out and touch if my hands had been free.

"They did the same to me."

She sniffed – was Yuna crying? "What's going on? Why did this happen? I was – I'm supposed to be getting married right now … Spira, I don't even know if it's right now! It could have been yesterday – or the day before – or the month before that! Rikku - how long have we been here?"

A chill ran down my spine. She was right. Sitting here, in the dark, we really didn't know what day it was. Or even what time. There was a storm outside, but that didn't mean anything. Storms can happen at any time. Clouds bunch together, thunder rolls, lightning lashes across the sky … and you hide, helpless, cradling you head in your hands, flinching at every sound as the dark presses in around you, choking you –

"Rikku? Rikku are you okay?"

I came back to myself with a bump. My breath was coming out in ragged gasps and I was rocking back and forth, back and forth. Stilling, I fought to control myself. The storm was _outside._ I was _inside_. I might be bound and blindfolded, but the storm wasn't going to hurt me.

And I wasn't alone.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just …"

"Just what?"

The lightning flashed again. "The storm," I whispered, knowing Yuna would understand.

There was a scrape of clothing against stone as my cousin shifted towards me. "It'll be okay, Rikku. We're safe in here."

My cousin – always putting other people before herself. She'd only just registered what had happened to us, and what it meant for her wedding, and she'll already pushed it to the back of her mind. Maybe I could follow her lead. Maybe it was time to stop being scared and start _doing_ something. After all, I'd been in trickier situations before and I'd survived them, you know?

"Well, it could be worse," I said brightly, attempting to capture my usual optimism. "We could be tied up alone."

Yuna laughed, but there was none of her usual good humour in it. I wondered if she was as scared as I was.

"I'm glad you're here, Yunie. I don't think I could do this. Not on my own." My voice was trembling again and I scowled behind my blindfold. Setting my shoulders, I added, "Besides, escaping with two's gotta be a whole lot easier than escaping with one."

"Escape?"

"Yeah! You want to sit around here all day, or do you want to go to Besaid and get married?"

"But the wedding … it's probably over by now –"

"So you arrange another one! Are you really going to let some mad man stop you getting married?"

Yuna was silent for a moment. Then, "No," and more firmly, "No! No I'm not! I'm going to go to Besaid, and I'm going to marry Tidus and – and that's what I'm going to do."

"Right on!"

I tugged frantically at the rope binding my hands but whoever had engineered our kidnapping had done their work well. All I succeeded in doing was deepening my rope burn and tightening the knot. Frustration surging through me, I began rubbing my wrist together, twisting my arms this way and that, fighting to broaden the tight circle of rope. Pain shot up my arms, making my gasp.

"Rikku?"

"I can't – I can't get free –" I felt like crying. If only the knots would slip, just a little bit –

"Rikku –"

"W-what about you, Yunie? If you can get free and –"

"Rikku – we're not going to get free."

My struggles weakened. "If I just – then we could … these are, these are really tight, you know?"

Yuna didn't reply. The silence stretched between us but for once I could think of nothing to say.

* * *

Sometime later – maybe minutes, maybe hours – I stirred. My eyelids brushed the back of the blindfold as I lifted my head.

"What happened to Lulu and Paine?"

It was a question that had been haunting me since I'd awoken. I had a vague image in my mind of my friends lying on the floor in the central room of the hotel suite, but beyond that – nothing. And Yuna hadn't mentioned them, so did that mean – ? No, no she would have said something. I _know_ she would have. She would have told me straight away … wouldn't she?

"I'm … I'm not sure."

It wasn't the answer I had been looking for. My heart began to thump unpleasantly. "They're not …?"

"Dead?" The word echoed hollowly around whatever building we were being held in. "I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Yuna's listless responses irritated me. "You were there, weren't you? So what happened?"

" … They were first. He hit them – first."

I wondered when our kidnapper had become a man.

"Hit them?"

"I think he cast a spell. Caught us off guard and then …"

"But they're not …?"

"I don't think so." And then softer, "I hope not."

I ran events through in my mind. "So he hit Lulu and Paine first … why didn't he hit you?"

"He did."

I was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me? Never mind – are you okay?"

"My head … it aches a little."

"Yuna, you could be seriously injured!"

"Would it make any difference to our situation if I was?"

I opened my mouth, an angry retort on my lips, but then I faltered. She was right. Whether she had been injured or not, we were still tied up. There was nothing I could do to help Yuna – and there was nothing she could do to help herself.

"Just promise me – promise me you won't leave me here." _It's not serious_, I told myself over and over, repeating the words like a mantra. _Yuna's going to be okay. She _is.

"When we leave, we leave together."

"Good."

I flexed my wrists once more but the rope remained firm. Outside it had started to rain; I could hear the drops beating down against the roof of wherever we were being held.

_Drip, drip, drip._

There was a rhythmic edge to the sound. I stared up; imaging that I could see the rain as it made its long journey from sky to earth.

Drip, drip, drip …

* * *

"Rikku? Can I tell you something?"

We'd been silent for so long that her words startled me more than the rumbles of thunder. My head jerked back and banged against whatever was behind me and I winced. "Sure."

"I … I'm not completely sure about this, but … I think – I think …"

"What is it?"

She was quiet for a long moment. " … I think I'm pregnant."

I stared at the back of my blindfold. "Seriously?"

"Well, I'm not one hundred percent certain but … but yes."

"Wow." I wanted to say something, _anything_, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "_Wow._"

"I know."

"This is _big_, Yunie! Wow, this is – you must be – you must be so excited!"

"I … I suppose so."

"I mean, _wow_. A baby! You're going to have a baby! A real life baby!"

"I know."

"This is – you're gonna be a Mommy!"

"Yes."

"Wow!"

My mind went into overdrive. Yuna – a mother? She had such a busy life, she was only nineteen and she and Tidus weren't even married yet –

"Tidus! Have you told him?"

" … Not yet."

"He's gonna be _so _happy, you know? A baby – I think he'll make a great father. That's not to say that you won't make a good mother – you will, I know you will – but Tidus has all those pent up 'old man' issues, so I bet he'll do anything to make sure the baby's loved and cared for and never left alone –"

_Like we are right now._

That thought brought my up short and I suddenly noticed how quiet Yuna was.

"Yunie? Yunie are you okay?"

When she didn't reply, my concern deepened.

"Yunie … you _are_ okay with this, aren't you?"

" … Okay with this?" When Yuna finally did speak, her voice sounded different somehow – hard, almost brittle. Not exactly words I'd come to associate with my cousin. "I'm not – I can't – I'm not okay with _any_ of this! I'm sitting in a cold, dark room, on a damp floor – in my _wedding_ dress – with my hands tied behind my back and a _blindfold _across my eyes! My fiancé probably thinks I've deserted him and I'm talking calmly to my cousin about whether or not I'm going to have a baby! None of this is okay!"

I wanted to say that everything would be all right. I wanted to reassure her that we'd get out of this mess, that she'd be able to tell Tidus about the baby, that they'd have their perfect wedding but as my eyelids brushed against the back of my blindfold, I began to realise that Yuna was right. None of this was okay. This wasn't like facing Sin or Vegnagun. It wasn't a threat against Spira. It was a threat against me and my cousin … and I didn't have any idea what to do about it.

* * *

"What if I really am pregnant?"

Yuna's voice was as listless as I felt. My head had lolled to one side and there was a strand of hair tickling my cheek. Every so often I'd forget my hands were tied and I'd try to brush it away, only to wince as the tender skin of my wrists rubbed against the tough rope. Outside, the storm had abated, the thunder and lightning had faded away, but I'd barely noticed.

"I don't know, Yunie. I guess you'll take to Tidus and then …"

"What if there's a baby inside me – right now?"

A baby – like little Vidina. Little Vidina with all his red, Wakka-like hair … Only he wasn't so little now, was he? Why was it getting so hard to remember things …?

"It's not something to be scared of, you know?"

"But what if – what if whoever did this to us, what if they hurt me or something and I – what if I loose the baby?"

"That won't happen."

"But how can you –"

"It _won't_ happen," I repeated with as much force as I could muster. "I won't let it."

There was a long silence and my thoughts began to drift. Weddings and babies … Wakka and Lulu had had a wedding. Then they'd had a baby … was that the way things worked? What if you did things in the wrong order? Did everything start to go wrong? Did your relationship fail? What if you didn't have any babies at all … what if you didn't get married …?

"Rikku … I'm scared."

Of all the things I'd never expected my cousin to say, that was at the top of my list. She'd been through so much and stayed so strong. She'd pursued a long and difficult pilgrimage to have the honour of sacrificing her life to banish Sin. She'd effectively destroyed the ancient Summoner tradition. She'd fought again friends, Maesters and Yevon itself without ever wavering.

But now – _now_ she was scared.

And that scared me more than anything else.

"I know, Yunie," I whispered, hating how weak my voice sounded. "I am too."

"What if something happens to us and we never get to see anybody again? Tidus, Uncle Cid, Brother –"

_Gippal._ The memories I'd been trying so hard to suppress broke free and slammed back into my mind. What if I never saw Gippal again? What if he never flashed me that stupid grin, or ruffled my hair, or called me 'Cid's girl'? What if we never kissed again? What if he never got the chance to tell me that he loved me?

My lethargy slipped away and suddenly I wanted to scream. To tear the rope away from my wrist and rip off my blindfold. I wanted to find the nearest CommSphere connection , dial up to the Melatha and have m boyfriend come and rescue me. Not because I couldn't rescue myself, but so I could throw my arms around him and reassure myself that there was a reality beyond this darkness.

I didn't scream. Instead, when I opened my mouth, words started pouring out.

"It'll be okay, Yunie." The words I'd struggled to say earlier came easily now. "It'll be okay, I promise. We've been in worse situations than this, you know? Remember when we were all shoved into Via Purifico? Or when we were declared traitors against Yevon? No one thought we were gonna make it, but we did, you know? We did, Yunie! And if we can do all that – if we can defeat Sin, if we can destroy Vegnagun – then we can deal with what's happening right now. No, we can do better than just _deal_ with it – we can stop it. We're two fully trained, experienced fighters, you know, who've brought down two of the most scary evils in Spira's history! This – this person who did this … well let's just say they're gonna regret choosing us to kidnap. Cos we're gonna kick their ass so hard it'll be weeks before they can stand trial!"

"Trial?"

I was fired by my own enthusiasm. "First we'll beat them up and knock them out and then we'll cart whoever it is off to Baralai and Nook and get them to give our friend the longest possible sentence … Call it an early wedding present, Yunie!"

"Rikku –"

"I supposed you're one of the High Rulers of Spira now, so technically you could pass the sentence yourself. I'm thinking ten years. Or maybe twenty. I mean, what is the normal sentence for kidnapping a High Summoner?"

"Rikku – _I didn't say that_!"

"Didn't say what?"

"About the trial!" Yuna's voice was frantic. "I didn't say anything about a trial!"

My heart froze. "Then who did?"

There was an awful pause.

"That would have been me."


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Well they say 13's an unlucky number and after the fight to get this chapter written - I'm inclined to agree. I've been bogged down with every problem you can imagine, the least of which was a computer upgrade that seemed to cause more problems than it solved. Anyway, I can only apologise for the giant delay on this chapter - it's my longest delay ever, but it has enabled me to get this story back on track and work out what's going to happen in the next few chapters. I only hope there are still some people out there reading this and that I haven't driven you all away!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Thirteen: Gippal_

* * *

The morning after the night before and I hadn't slept. I hadn't even closed my eyes, red-rimmed as they were. I remembered Baralai gently suggesting that we break up the meeting to the following morning, but the murderous expressions on mine, Tidus' and Cid's faces had convinced him otherwise. We'd ploughed on through the night, discussing each and every possibility, going over each and every fact and piece of evidence to try and find out what had happened to Yuna and Rikku.

By the morning, everyone's patience was starting to run out. I was pacing at the back of the room, the monotonous counting of the steps helping to keep me sane. Cid was rigid in his seat, his hands slowly tearing a piece of paper into millions of tiny pieces. Tidus was shifting so much that his chair looked like it was dancing. Only Wakka's firm grip on his shoulder kept the younger man from standing up and charging out of the room.

Baralai looked as serene as ever – something that made me grit my teeth and fight the urge to punch him. Didn't the man _ever_ get upset? My girlfriend had been kidnapped for Spira's sake!

Beside him, Nooj was re-reading the notes that we'd made sometime during the night, his brows knitted together and a frown on his face. He'd been the unofficial chair of the meeting and _he_ was the main reason we were still sitting in this stupid room, rather than going out and actually _finding_ Rikku and Yuna. I was on the verge of punching him as well.

The tension had stretched to unbearable proportions when, suddenly, it erupted.

"I can't take this anymore – let go of me Wakka! – I can't just sit here while Yuna's out there –"

"Tidus –"

"No – let go off me!"

With force born of fear, Tidus wrenched out of Wakka's grip and shoved his friend away from him. His blue eyes were shining dangerously.

"Tidus – just calm down, ya?"

"No! I'm sick of being calm! This – this –" He waved his hand around the room, "how is this going to get Yuna back? I was supposed to be _married_ right now – not sat in this damn room going round and round in circles!"

"This isn't helping." Baralai's 'calm, preacher' voice was back. My fingers tightened into fists. "None of us _want_ to be here, Tidus, but what else can we do? We have so little information to work with –"

"Then we go out and find some more! There must have been someone who saw something – Lulu, what about Lulu? She was a witness, wasn't she? Have we asked her –"

"She told us everything she knew," Wakka interjected firmly.

Tidus ignored him. "We should speak to her again – there might be something she missed!"

"No!"

"Get out of my way, Wakka!"

"Lulu's told ya everything she knows! I won't have ya upsetting my wife – I don't care what the reason is!"

Tidus stared at him and even Wakka looked taken aback by the expression on the younger man's face. "You don't care?" His voice was barely above a whisper but, perhaps unconsciously, Wakka took a step backwards. "This is _Yuna_ – she's like a sister to you and Lulu! How can you just stand there and – and _dismiss_ her –" He ran a shaking hand through his blond hair. Wakka tried to speak but Tidus overrode him. "You have no idea do you? No idea what I went through – what _we_ went through to be together. What it felt like to fall so totally in love with someone and then be told – hey, you know what? _You don't exist_. Do you know what that feels like? To have to go on fighting for a world that's not yours, so that it can have a future you're not going to see? I lost _everything_ when Sin died. I'm damned if I'm gonna loose everything now!"

The ringing silence after Tidus' speech was absolute. I watched this desperate man in front of me and felt a great respect rising up inside. I barely knew Tidus; I'd been busy with my own life during Yuna's pilgrimage and Sin's defeat, and when we'd been fighting Vegnagun, he'd been … well I wasn't sure where, exactly, but certainly not in Spira. And on the odd occasions when I'd spoken to him at those endless celebration parties, I'd got the impression that he was a nice enough guy, if slightly immature and definitely hot-headed. What I hadn't learned until later – courtesy of several conversations with Rikku – was how hard the guy had fought to be with Yuna. If Rikku was to believed, Tidus had left everything he'd ever known, had defied his own non-existence in order to have a future with Yuna. Rikku had once commented that there was nothing Tidus wouldn't do for her cousin – and I was beginning to believe it. I was also beginning to realise that this stranger and I had a great deal in common.

Which is why I finally gave in to my own impatience.

"Tidus is right."

Everyone turned to look at me. Baralai was frowning in disapproval; Nooj looked resigned, as if he'd been expecting this; Cid's expression wasn't giving anything away; Wakka was still reeling from Tidus's words and Tidus himself looked at me with such hope in his eyes that I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Gippal –" Baralai spoke up, right on cue.

I held up a hand. "No, I'm _not_ getting into this with you Baralai. With any of you. And I'm not going to run out of here half-cocked." _As much as I would love to_. The relieved and slightly sceptical expressions on Baralai and Nooj's faces irritated me and I added, "I'm also not gonna sit here and listen to anymore of these meanin'less facts." Tidus grinned at me. "Hasn't everythin' that's happened over the last few years taught you anythin'? Talkin' doesn't seem to solve much. Was it a committee that took down Sin? Or Vegnagun?"

"Of course not." Nooj stood up and his eyes were hard behind his glasses. "But neither did we run blindly into danger without thinking things through first."

"You wanna think thin's through? Okay – lets start with what we know: someone, _somehow_ got into the hotel in Luca, knocked out Lulu and Paine and kidnapped Rikku and Yuna. And _somehow_, nobody saw, heard, knew anythin' about this, which is why we're stuck in this damn room without anythin' to work with. And the best we've been able to come up with is that it was some kind of politically-motivated thing against the High Summoner!" I paused and held Nooj's eyes. "Did I miss anythin' out?"

For one long moment, I was sure that Nooj was gonna be the one who hit _me_. All the years we'd been friends, I don't think I'd ever spoken to him like that – with Nooj it was usually safer to put up and shut up. After all, his was our Captain. I was used to following his orders.

But he surprised me. As I had surprised him. Instead of lunging across the table at me, he sighed and sank back into his chair. "No, you didn't miss anything. And perhaps … maybe you're right."

I blinked. I was right? Nooj said I was _right_? All I needed now was for Baralai to agree and the world could come to an end.

As it was, my priestly friend was looking back and forth between me and Nooj, his brow furrowed with confusion. "Nooj," he began.

Nooj held up his hand. "Gippal's right, Baralai. We're wasting time here and as much as it pains me to say it, I think his approach to this might be better than ours."

"To just go out all-guns blazing?" Baralai's cultured voice couldn't hide his disapproval.

"To investigate," I corrected, adding blandly, "I've got kinda good at that recently. I've even started thinkin' of a career change."

Nooj's face twitched but he didn't say anything.

"Bout damn time!" a voice from behind us said abruptly. Startled, we all turned around to see Cid glaring at us. He'd been so quiet, I'd forgotten he was even in the room. Always a big mistake to make.

"Never thought it'd be this one who startin' talkin' the sense," He jerked his head at me and I felt almost flattered. "But he's the only one of ya who's come up with a good idea in the last hour so, what the hell, he can't muck up it all that much." The good feeling faded and I was reminded how much I disliked Rikku's father. "So if there's gonna be an investigation then I'm gonna be a part of it."

_Oh thank you Spira,_ _thank you very much_. I cast my eyes to the ceiling. As eager as I was to find Rikku, the last thing I wanted was her dad tagging along for the ride.

"I'm coming too." This was from Tidus. Wakka opened his mouth as if to object and then he took in the mulish expression on his friend's face. His mouth closed with an audible snap.

I looked around the room. "Anyone else?"

Nooj and Baralai traded looks. "Some of us don't have the luxury of being able to drop everything at a moment's notice," Nooj said dryly, not looking at me. Seemed I still had some making up to do there. "Baralai and I will remain here and deal with the fallout of Yuna's kidnapping."

"And Rikku's," I said firmly.

His expression didn't change. "And Rikku's."

That left one person. "Wakka?"

An agonised look crossed the red-haired man's face and then he sighed and shook his head. "I can't. Not with Lu hurt. I gotta look after the baby …" He clapped Tidus on the shoulder. "I'm sorry man."

"It's alright."

Cid stood up, his chair scraping across the floor. He looked at Tidus approvingly. "Keepin' it in the family." He looked at me and grunted. "Let's go."

I could have said any number of things about the fact that I was in love with his daughter, but I didn't. Because as Cid swept out of the room, I realised something that made my blood run cold.

I was in love with Rikku.

And I'd never told her that.

* * *

Cid, Tidus and me.

Of all the investigative teams I could have picked, this one would have been on my bizzaro list. Cid and I barely spoke, our mutual concerns for Rikku leading to shortened tempers and a great deal of avoidance. And as for Tidus … well he seemed to have won some kind of approval from Cid – at least Cid didn't treat him like he was particularly distasteful fiend – and he seemed a nice enough kind of guy. Problem was, I barely knew him.

I hadn't realised how much that mattered. As many problems as there were between me and Cid, at least I knew were I stood with him. Tidus on the other hand, was an enigma. I couldn't predict how he was going to react in any kind of situation, let alone the high-stress ones I kept wandering into recently. Of course, he had been part of the team that had killed Sin so … I guess I could give him the benefit of the doubt.

It didn't stop me casting my mind back to the days aboard the _Melatha_ with Rikku, Elhandra and, yes I couldn't deny, Lreav. We'd been a team, for all Lreav's problems and eventual betrayal. I even considered calling Lhan back from Bikanel to join up with us again. Instead I sent a message to Avrin, asking him recall Nhadala to Djose Temple. With Treilad away, I needed someone I could trust to take over my position. Nhadala was a smart woman; I knew with her at the reins I wouldn't come back to find the temple reduced to a pile of rubble thanks to an experiment gone wrong.

With my responsibilities taken care of, I was able to focus completely on the investigation. Cid, Tidus and I had actually managed to pick a starting point with limited argument – despite Wakka's protests that we weren't supposed to upset Lulu anymore, we were going back to question the only two eye witnesses of the event itself. Tidus and Cid got Lulu – I got Paine.

Both women were being looked after at a Healing Centre in Luca. When I was a kid, I used to wonder why a world with phoenix downs, potions and healing magic needed the healing centres that we're present in every town. When I got older and learned more about Sin, I'd understood. There are some situations where even the powers of the strongest lone healer are not enough.

Of course, we didn't have Sin anymore. But after Lreav's stunts with the bombs, the healing centres were still seeing far too many patients.

Set back from the docks, on the outskirts of the city, the Healing Centre was a white, three-storey building with a small, cheerful garden to one side. As soon as we got inside, Cid led Tidus off to Lulu's room, leaving me to track down Paine on my own.

She wasn't in her room. And she wasn't in the communal room either – not that I'd really expected her to be. Paine's a nice girl and all, but she's not exactly the most sociable person I've ever met. Finally I had no choice but to ask a passing member of staff. She was a slender girl with dark hair and huge dark eyes. Something in the way she looked up at me reminded me of Rikku.

Realising I was staring, I cleared my throat. "Sorry. I – have you seen a girl around …" I started again. "My friend was brought in yesterday. Her name's Paine. I'm trying to find her but she isn't in her room."

The girl smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, I don't –"

"She's got red eyes and grey hair. Wears a lot of black. Oh and she's really grumpy."

The girl's expression cleared. "Oh _that_ girl. Of course! I think I saw her heading out to the garden a short while ago."

"Thanks."

Paine … in a _garden_? If the situation hadn't been so serious I would have found that thought incredibly funny. I didn't think Paine even knew what a flower was. She wasn't exactly the kind of girl I could imagine being given one. A sword maybe, but not a flower.

"Oh great. A visitor."

That toneless voice could only have come from one person. As I stepped out into the morning sunlight, I caught sight of Paine sitting on a stone bench in the middle of the garden. Oddly enough, she didn't look as out of place as I had expected. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that she was wearing a loose pair of trousers and top instead of her usual warrior clothes.

"Show me any more enthusiasm and I'll stay here all week." I plonked myself down on the bench opposite and smiled across at her. "You're lookin' better."

"You're not fooling anyone, you know."

"What?"

I could have been mistaken, but she almost looked sympathetic. "Rikku."

My heart skipped a beat. I'm not being melodramatic – I actually _felt _it happen. How could one word have such an effect on me?

" 'Course I'm worried about her. I'm worried about Yuna too. But right now you're here and …" I trailed off. Sometimes I forgot how long I'd known Paine. And how easily she could see through me. "Yeah, I'm worried about Rikku."

Paine's red eyes gave nothing away. "She told us about you. Weeks ago."

This was news to me. I know she'd spoken to Yuna about us, but Paine?

"You do know she's in love with you."

I shifted awkwardly. This was not something I wanted to discuss with Paine _ever_. And especially not when there were more important things we should be talking about. "She kind of … mentioned it."

"I know."

How much had Rikku told her friends?

"Look Paine, I appreciate you're interest in my relationship but to be honest, I'm more interested in actually tryin' to find my girlfriend right now."

She raised her eyebrows but – thankfully – let the subject drop. And so we went back over the events of the previous evening. Again. And again. And each time Paine came up with the same answer – she hadn't seen anything of the actual attack, she hadn't noticed anything out of ordinary before it had happened and she couldn't think of anything important she'd missed.

"Gippal, someone whacked me over the head from behind! I didn't see anything because I was still disorientated from the rubbish sleep spell – there you go, you're looking for someone who's not very good at casting sleep spells. Now you have something to go on!" Some of my own frustration was obviously rubbing off on Paine.

I held onto my temper with difficulty. "One more time."

"We were getting ready for the wedding." She spoke as if to a small child. "Yuna came out in her dress, we all smiled appreciatively. Rikku forgot the flowers and she went back into her room to get them. Next thing I know someone's thrown a sleep spell at us. I turned around but before I could see anything, I was hit with Spira knows what. I think you know the rest."

Something she'd said the day before came back into my mind then. "How'd you know Rikku and Yuna had been taken?"

Paine frowned.

"When Wakka and I found you, you said –"

"They'd been taken," Paine finished slowly. She rubbed her forehead distractedly. "I did say that …"

It wasn't like Paine to forget things. Was this something to do with her head injury?

"I know I didn't _see_ anything …" Her eyes widened. "I heard something! Just after I'd been hit … I was lying on the ground and I heard – there was some kind of argument, shouting … then … then nothing. Just footsteps."

"Footsteps?"

"Yeah. Whoever took Rikku and Yuna, I heard them leave."

My mind was racing. "Did the footsteps just leave? They didn't come back again?"

"No."

"And Rikku and Yuna – you didn't hear them?"

"I don't think so … I assume they were knocked out too. What are you getting at, Gippal?"

I resisted the urge to get up and pace my way through my thought-patterns. "Let's go with the assumption that Rikku and Yuna were both knocked out like you and Lulu."

"Okay …" It was clear that Paine wasn't following me.

"Now I know Rikku's pretty small and skinny – but with Yuna and all of her weddin' dress … it would have had to be two trips."

"Would you like to translate or do you enjoy annoying me?"

In my growing excitement I ignored her sarcasm. "We've been assumin' that there was just one person. But if you heard them leave the room, and they _didn't_ return a second time, then who carried the other girl out?"

Paine stared at me. "There was more than one person."

I grinned. "Exactly."

* * *

My sense of elation that had been inspired by the fact that we were _finally_ getting somewhere quickly faded. Lulu hadn't been able to give Cid and Tidus anymore information and so the grand total of our visit to the Healing Centre was the knowledge that we were up against more than one person.

Which if you think about it, is kind of depressing. One person could be put down to a spur-of-the-moment thing, more than one and you were looking at some serious advanced planning. How long had Yuna and Rikku's kidnapping been in development? And as always, the ultimate question: who the hell would want to do such a thing?

The idea that Yuna or Rikku had enemies with such a grudge against them was the most worrying thought. And it was this lack of motive that had been causing problems for us as well – I mean, who in Spira would benefit from kidnapping the High Summoner and her cousin? The best we'd been able to come up with that it was some kind of politically motivated thing. That someone wasn't happy with the direction that Yuna had been steering Spira in and had decided to take matters into their own hands. But even that was a theory full of holes. Why target Yuna but leave Nooj and Baralai alone? All three of them were responsible for the leadership of Spira. And where did Rikku fit into all this? Was she some kind of insurance? But then, hardly anyone outside of our immediate circle knew that Rikku was Yuna's cousin so what kind of insurance could she possibly be? As a friend? If so, then surely Lulu would have been a better choice – Yuna's origins in Besaid were pretty well known by now.

Nothing about the situation made sense and as we left the Healing Centre and headed into town, I brooded in silence. Even with the bomb-investigation, we'd had something to go on – somewhere to head next. Now I was flailing around helplessly while somewhere out there, my girlfriend was in danger. It wasn't helping to improve my already tenuous grasp on my temper.

_Cid_ had decided that the next place we should visit was the hotel that the bridal party had been staying in. Not suggested, _decided_. That hadn't helped my temper either; even though I knew it was the logical next step, the fact that _he_ had suggested it was just so … irritating.

The hotel was a short walk down from the Healing Centre. Small and private it had been the perfect place for the High Summoner to prepare for her wedding without being bombarded by Spira's news networks. Unfortunately, it also decreased the number of potential eye-witnesses.

Ironically named 'The High Summoner', the hotel was a small, family-run business. When Cid, Tidus and I poked our heads into the reception, the whole Allonson family was gathered in the seating area. Someone – I suspected Baralai and his inbuilt need for diplomacy – had obviously rung ahead.

As soon as they saw Tidus, the leapt up and swarmed around her, stammering apologies. The youngest of the daughters burst into tears. Tidus flailed ineffectively for a few moments, casting helpless glances at me and Cid. I fought the irrational urge to burst out laughing. Cid put his hands on his hips and opened his mouth.

"Alright – _that's enough_!"

For years I've resented Cid's ability to silence a room with a single bellow. Now I found myself being grateful for it – would wonders ever cease?

"Damn me, it's like feedin' time at the Chocobo Corral in here."

I sighed inwardly. Bellowing Cid could do. Tact he could not.

I stepped in before he could make the Allonson's anymore hysterical than they already were. "Please, don't apologise. We know you didn't do anythin' wrong." We didn't know that of course – personally, I couldn't see how someone could have got inside Yuna's suite _without_ it being their fault – but I thought I should say something to bolster their spirits. "We just wanna ask you a few questions about what happened last night."

The patriarch of the Allonson family stepped forward. He was a florid-faced man with greying hair.

"We'll do anything to help the Lady Summoner."

It's something I've observed in all of the Spiran's I've met since the Eternal Calm came – this blind devotion to Yuna. I mean, I know she saved them from Sin and all – but I'm half-convinced most of them would chop off their heads if the 'Lady Summoner' asked it of them. They're lucky Yuna's one of most self-effacing people I know, otherwise Spira could have one hell of a tyrant on their hands.

So we interviewed the Allonson – I say interview, although I think Cid's discussion with the parents was more along the lines of an interrogation. Tidus and I got the two daughters. The oldest one was the girl who'd been in the reception when Wakka and I had visited the hotel last time – Tidus got her on the grounds that she could hardly say more than two words in my presence. Normally I'd've been flattered by the attention; now she just represented one more barrier between me and Rikku.

The younger Allonson girl – Amea – was a slim, dark haired teenager. She was nervous and her eyes were constantly filling with tears, although, luckily, she didn't start crying again. She did talk a lot however – and she was still babbling on when Tidus finished with his charge and came over to join me. At my inquiring look, he shook his head. I sighed inwardly and turned my attention back to the girl.

"It was quiet – it's usually quiet – but we didn't have no one else booked in so … It was just the High Summoner and her four bridesmaids. I didn't see no one else, Sir, I swear."

I gave her a moment, but she appeared to have finally finished and was looking up at me expectantly. I smiled briefly, trying to hide my disappointment. "We believe you, Amea."

Patting the girl on the shoulder, I moved over to join Cid. Tidus followed, a faint frown on his face.

"Nothin'," I reported. "No strangers, no regulars – no nothin' – passed through this reception. They must have got into the hotel another way."

Cid was already shaking his head. "The backdoor's kept locked and the key's stored behind the desk –"

"- Which was guarded all day." I blew my breath out explosively. "_Tyssed_ Cid, how did they get inside?" (Dammit)

I don't think he appreciated the interruption because he gave me a very direct glare and said slowly, "You musta missed somethin'."

Of course – it was _bound_ to be my fault. Everything's always my fault in Cid's world. Yuna and Rikku's kidnap – my fault. The whole debacle with Lreav – my fault. Hell, I didn't know why he didn't go all the way and blame me for Vegnagun and Sin as well.

I bit the inside of my cheek as hard as I could._ Rikku loves her Dad._ The words cycled around my mind in a mantra-like fashion._ She'll probably be upset if I kill her. Take a deep breath and calm down._

I took a deep breath but my words weren't exactly calm. "Or _maybe_ there's nothin' here to miss."_ Idiot._ "Has it ever crossed your –" _Tiny, stunted_, "- mind that the Allonson's might not have any information to give?"

He snorted, a familiar mulish expression on his face. I wondered if he'd listened to a word I'd said – what was I thinking? This was _Cid_ – of course he hadn't listened. My mouth opened and his ears closed.

Suddenly all the tension that had been welling up inside of me – all the frustration – boiled over and I was instantly, furiously angry. I wanted to take Cid's smug, arrogant face and smash it into the nearest wall. I wanted to grind his face into the brickwork, poke his eyes out with a sharp knife, make sure that even if he wanted more children, he wouldn't be able to happen.

If Tidus hadn't chosen that moment to come out of his reverie, I honestly don't know what I might have done to my girlfriend's father. Probably something irreversible and definitely something that would have soured my relationship with Rikku.

"Four … four bridesmaids!"

Cid and I stopped glaring at each other and in turn, glared at Tidus. "What are you babblin' about, boy?" Cid growled.

Tidus's blue eyes widened. "That girl – Amea – she said there were four bridesmaids, right?"

I thought back. "Er … yeah, I guess. What -?"

"Four!" Tidus was almost bouncing on the spot now. "But Rikku, Lulu and Paine only makes three! _Yuna only had three bridesmaids_!"

The penny dropped. I suddenly realised just how important Paine's sliver of information had been.

And Cid turned to me, a scornful, superior expression on his face.

"Told ya you missed somethin'."

This time I didn't hold back. Bouyed by the fact that we were finally getting somewhere, I drew my arm back and punched him squarely in his self-satisfied face.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Apologies for the long wait that you've had for this chapter. As you'll probably understand when you've read the chapter, this was a particularly difficult one to write. I want to issue the warning in advance that there is **Mature Content** in this chapter and certain sensitive issues are also dealt with, so please bear that in mind when you read it. That said, I hope you enjoy the direction this story is taking :)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Fourteen: Rikku_

* * *

I didn't recognise the voice.

The realisation surprised me – for some reason I had expected to know whoever was behind our abduction. For a few moments, I have even entertained the idea of it being Lreav, back from the dead. But that was impossible. I'd seen him fall thousands of metres from the top of Kilika Temple. So had Gippal. Besides, Lreav's voice had been soften and now that I thought about it, far more sibilant. And he had always chosen his words carefully. This voice was deep and the words were careless.

Footsteps meandered across the floor towards us. I stiffened and opposite me, I felt Yuna do the same. It was incredibly eerie; that sense of knowing there was someone else in the room, of hearing them, but being unable to see them. I had felt so hopeful only moments before, but now I was forcibly reminded just where we were and just what had been done to us. This was the man who had kidnapped us. He'd come into our lives and ripped us out of them, ruining Yunie's wedding in the process. And Spira knew what had been going on in the real world since the High Summoner had been abducted. Chaos? Mass panic? Was _that_ what this was all about?

"Who are you?" My voice shook slightly but the words were strong and clear.

The man didn't reply. We could just hear his footsteps as he drew closer and closer.

"Who are you?" I demanded again.

The footsteps stopped. He must have crouched down then because suddenly he was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face. It smelt of fish that had been left out in the sun for too long.

"I'm the one who gets to look after you two lovely ladies."

Oh Spira he was stroking my face. His fat sausage fingers were running down my cheek and getting tangled in my hair. I worked the saliva around in my dry mouth and then spat in his face.

"Touch me again and I'll break your arm."

His hand dropped and there was a pause. Then he laughed. "A fighter, eh? Oh yes, I could have some fun with you."

I wasn't expecting the slap. My head snapped backwards and I could taste blood in my mouth where I had bitten the inside of my cheek. Before I could recover, he grabbed me by the hair and yanked my head back. "Do that again and I'll break _your_ arm."

"Let me go!" I shouted, wincing in pain. "If you don't I'll –"

"You'll what?" Fish-breath demanded. He sounded amused, as if our threats were providing him with entertainment rather than concern. "In case you'd forgotten, you're tied up and I – I am not." His breath was back in my face and I flinched away from it. "So tell me: just how are you going to stop me?"

In all my wonderings about our captor, I'd somehow come to the conclusion that it was all some kind of political motivated thing. And while Yuna and I might be being held against our will, no harm was really going to come to us. We'd be ransomed sure, or held until some law had been passed. It had never occurred to me that our abduction could have come at the hands of a madman.

I braced myself for his touch. The man laughed softly, probably reading my fear. Then, inexplicably, he patted me on the head and moved away.

"Plenty of time for that after I've been paid. Now how about some food for the lovely ladies? I expect you're hungry by now."

"No," I shot back instantly. There was no way I was going to make this easy for the creep.

"Yes please."

I blinked. It was Yuna who had contradicted me, but it wasn't a Yuna that I'd ever heard before. She sounded weak and subservient and it was only after her words had echoed around the room that I realised this was the first time she had spoken.

"Polite – I like that. I think you and me are going to get on well, Lady Summoner. You might want to teach your little cousin how to talk to strangers. Then things might go easier for you."

His footsteps sounded again, but this time they were moving away from us. After a few moments, I couldn't hear them any longer.

Once I was sure he was out of earshot, I turned to my cousin. "Okay Yunie, what's the plan? Try and escape while he's getting the food?"

"We can't. The bonds are too tight." Yuna was still speaking quietly, her voice sounding weary.

"Then why did you send him for food?"

"Because I'm hungry."

Her answers weren't making any sense to me. "You think we need our strength of something? Well yeah I guess but – oh, were you getting him onside? Maybe thinking to turn him so that he can help us? I don't know if that's gonna work Yunie – he's a creep, you know?

"No, I … Rikku, I might be pregnant."

And suddenly I understood. Whenever she been in danger before, be it Sin or Vegnagun, Yuna had only had herself to worry about. She had been able to recklessly through herself into danger because at the end of the day, the only person she had been risking was herself. But now there might be a child growing inside her. A defenceless child who was completely at the mercy of however this situation turned out. And suddenly Yuna's priorities had changed. She hadn't been playing some trick on our captor, or trying to lull him into a false sense of security. She had agreed with him to protect her child.

The realisation that my cousin wouldn't be there to back me up hit me hard. While I knew that Yuna would help as much as she could, I also knew that it wasn't going to be like it had been in the past. With those few quiet words, Yuna was telling me that the days of the Gullwings was over. If I wanted to get us out of this mess then I was going to have to do it alone because it was safer for her to just go along with their captor's demands.

I had two options now. I could admit defeat and join Yuna in cooperation … or I could come up with the most amazing plan Spira had ever seen and get us to safety.

* * *

I made my choice easily enough; there was no way I was going to spend more time in Fish-breath's company than was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, Yuna had been right bout our bonds. They really were too tight to wriggle out of and all I succeeded in doing was making my wrists bleed. Which is why I had to go through the indignity of being fed by Fish-breath while he leered over me. The food itself wasn't bad – lightly spiced and smooth – but something about the way it had been forced down my throat had made me want to be sick. The fact that the man had obviously enjoyed my discomfort just made it worse.

He was watching me now. I could feel his eye burning into me. I've never really understood what was meant by the phrase 'my skin crawled' but now I did. It felt like my skin was alive and fighting to get away from the attention that Fish-breath was paying it.

The worse thing was, he seemed content to sit in silence just watching. Maybe he knew how much it set me on edge. I tried getting him to talk, to find out more about him and what he wanted, but each attempt had failed. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing – how much information to give and when to be silent. I wondered how many times he had done this before. How many other women had been sitting in our positions, listening to his breathing?

"What's your name?"

It was a question I had tried before but hey, it had been a while now and maybe he was feeling more cooperative.

I heard him move closer. "You seem very interested in me."

"You're holding us hostage. You could at least tell us why."

"What will you give me if I answer your questions?"

"What do you want?"

He laughed. "Use your imagination."

"Do you meet all your girlfriends this way?"

"Are you offering?"

"I'm already spoken for, sorry."

"I don't care."

"I do. And my boyfriend might object too. He gets jealous very easily."

"Having you I can understand why."

The conversation was taking an unpleasant turn. "What's your name?" I tried again.

"What's yours?"

"Surely you already know."

"Maybe I do."

He was toying with me.

"You're not going to tell me anything are you?"

"Depends if you make it worth my while."

"Is this about ransom?"

"I'm getting paid if that's what you want to know."

"Then you're going to let us go?"

"Now why would I do that when we're having so much fun?"

"Because that's how ransom works."

"I never said this was ransom."

"You know, you're not half as amusing as you seem to think."

"Oh now you've just hurt my feelings. You should try being polite like your friend there. Mind you, you're not in her condition so maybe you feel you can afford to be more direct."

I shuddered. How long had he been in the room, listening to me and Yuna?

"What do you want from us?"

"For her – nothing. From you …" The unfinished sentence said enough.

I tried not to think about what he was hinting at. "There must be more to it than that. If it's revenge that surely you would have done something by now. If it's ransom you won't hurt us –"

"And what if it's neither?"

Around and around in circles. I knew I was going to have to take a different approach if I was going to get anything out of him.

"A kiss – for a piece of information."

He paused. "A kiss, eh?"

"Yeah."

"One for each piece of information?"

"Yeah." I felt sick.

There was a brief silence. "An attractive proposition."

"So you agree?"

"Well no, I didn't say that, did I? No, I don't see why such an offer would interest me."

"What? I don't understand –"

"Well my beautiful little girl, why am I bargaining with you when I can just take what I want?"

His grabbed me by the shoulders and then he was kissing me, his slimy tongue prising my teeth apart and invading my mouth. His hands tugged at the fastenings on the back of my bridesmaids dress. I screamed into his mouth and struggled against him, but he was much stronger and I had nothing to fight with. I twisted furiously as he abandoned the fastening with a curse and started pushing the bottom of the dress up instead. Frantic with fear, I kicked out. He dodged easily and straddled me, trapping my legs between his as he worked my dress higher.

_Get off, get off, GET OFF!_ My mind was screaming as I fought to free myself. Confusing images flashed before my eyes, Yuna was screaming something and behind me, my hands were sliding free of the rope.

I froze and then tried to relax. The combination of blood and sweat had slicked the skin of my wrists and where the ropes had caught before, now they were coming lose. If I could just keep the man distracted for long enough; if I could get my hands free –

_Gippal, I'm so sorry._

Grasping hold of all my anger and fear, I kissed him back as hard as I could. He was clearly surprised but then that familiar laughter bubbled up between us.

"That's better – you might as well enjoy this too."

Suddenly I was grateful for the blindfold. I could almost pretend that it was my boyfriend whose body was pressing against mine. That is was Gippal's hands that were stroking up my thighs, and Gippal's mouth that was devouring mine. The thought kept me sane as I carefully pulled my hands back and forth against the ropes, feeling them give a little more each time.

_Come on, come on – _yes!

The ropes fell to the floor. I yanked my arms free, ignoring the pain that flared along them from the strain of being held in one position for so long. Before Fish-breath could react, I punched him square in the face.

He cried out and clutched his nose. Blood splattered down onto me as I shoved him backwards and rolled onto my side. The heavy dress caught around my ankles and I struggled to my feet, almost falling. I ripped the blindfold off as the man charged at me with a roar. We went sprawling across the floor, my dress catching on something and ripping. Grateful for the sudden freedom, I kicked my attacker as hard as I could, throwing myself backwards at the same time. Adrenalin was rushing through my veins as I came to feet, and my hands groped automatically for the knives that weren't there anymore. Cursing, I danced backwards as the man lunged for me again.

"Stand still bitch!"

Keeping my distance, I ran back to the other end of the room where Yuna was still tied. We were in some kind of factory, I realised, with a handful of crates in one corner and thick metal supports reaching up to the ceiling. It was one of those that Yuna was secured to and I tore her blindfold off quickly before glancing back over my shoulder. The door stood open and the man had vanished.

Feeling uneasy, I ducked behind Yuna and tugged at the thick ropes around her wrists.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." The ropes were as stiff as mine had once been. I wondered if was going to have to hurt Yuna to get her free.

"Oh Spira, Rikku – I'm so sorry. I was so busy thinking about myself and the baby that I never – I didn't think he'd go that far –"

"Don't think about it."

"What he did –"

"Stop it. I don't want to talk about it."

"But Rikku – "

"No. Just shut up, okay?" My hands were shaking. "It didn't happen. Nothing happened."

"Rikku –"

"Almost there."

"He didn't … he didn't, did he?"

I didn't answer. The knots were parting, slowly but surely. A few moments more …

"Look out!"

The blow caught me on the side of the head, knocking me aside like a rag doll. I staggered upright, blinking the blood out of my eyes. Fish-breath's back was to me – he was bending over my struggling cousin, a knife clenched in his fist. The blood trickling down the side of my face was telling me that I needed to sit down but I've never really been good at listening to other people. I snatched up the rope that the man had used to tie me up and ran at him. I jumped on his back, wrapping the rope around his neck and drawing it tight. The man staggered backwards, grasping for me. I hung on as he choked, his face turning red with exertion. He fell to his knees, hands convulsing. The knife clattered harmlessly to the floor. I shoved my knee in the small of his back and tightened the rope. It wasn't long before he slumped forward and then stopped moving altogether.

My own ragged breathing filled my ears as I stared down at the man I had just killed. The fighting had blocked everything out, but now it was over my emotions started taking hold again. He was so ordinary looking, this man that had intended to rape me. Dark hair, pale skin, slightly overweight; the kind of person you'd walk past in the street without giving a second glance. And yet this unimpressive, normal man would have forced himself on me if I hadn't managed to get my hands free in time. I could still feel his filthy touch, tearing at my dress, bruising my skin, forcing my legs open. His fat, wet lips grounding into mine.

I kicked him. It felt good so I did it again. And again. Soon I couldn't stop. Over and over, kicking and punching and hurting. Beating out my rage and terror on the man who had pushed me so close to the edge.

"Rikku!" Hands gripped my shoulders and I whirled around, fists raised.

Yuna was holding me, her face drawn and pale. I lowered my hands quickly and it was only then that I realised I was crying. Yuna wrapped her arms around me without saying a word. I collapsed against her, sobbing into the familiar comfort of her shoulder, finally letting go of my fear. Yuna stroked my hair as if I were a child.

When I had cried myself out, Yuna drew back and carefully examined the gash on my head. "We need to get this looked at."

"Is it over? Is he dead?"

She looked down at the man, an unusually harsh expression on her face. "He's not coming back from this." She paused and then looked back at me. "You were so brave Rikku."

I laughed and then winced as my vision started to swim. Yuna wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we began moving slowly towards the doorway. "Got to l-look after you and the b-baby. What kind of a-aunt would I be if I l-let its mother get hurt, you kn-know?"

"I just wish I could have stopped him –"

I pulled her around to face me. "Yunie, he didn't – I mean, he was going to … but he didn't get the chance."

"He didn't?"

"No." I smiled weakly. "There's only one m-man I want to do th-that with."

She hugged me tightly. "He's going to be so proud of you."

"He b-better be."

Silence fell between us as we continued towards the door. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other – I was damn well going to walk out of this room under my own steam. Maybe Gippal would ever been there to meet me; surely he had tracked us down by now. Now that I knew exactly how long we'd been imprisoned but when he'd been under arrest during the bomb crisis, I'd rescued him quickly enough. It was the least he could do to return the favour. I imagined running – well, staggering really – into his arms, hearing him tell me that I'd done well. That I survived and from now on, he was never going to let me out of his sight. That everything was going to be okay and that he loved me.

The door slammed shut. As if in slow motion, Yuna and I looked up. A man was standing just inside the doorway, one hand shoved deep into his pocket. The other was holding a gun that was pointing straight at us.

I stared at him, my brain refusing to believe what my eyes were telling me. Un-kept brown hair curling around his neck. The shadows of a beard playing across tanned skin. And hooded green eyes that traced the lines of my face hungrily. It was like a twisted simulacrum of someone I had once known, someone who couldn't possibly be standing in front of me and yet was.

"Lreav," I breathed.

The Al Bhed smiled. "It looks like I got back just in time."

He pulled the trigger.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N: **The reason this chapter took longer than anticipated is because I decided to restructure my plot about half way through and much of this had to be rewritten (which was a pain) However, I now have a much clearer idea about the plot and have even started writing the beginning of the next two chapters - hooray! Hope you enjoy this one :)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Fifteen: Gippal_

* * *

So we were looking for a woman. And an accomplice. Which of course, narrowed things down _so _much, 'cos Spira knows there are only about a million women in the world. And to make matters that much worse, the previous day I'd punched Cid in the face.

And he wasn't exactly happy about it.

I think the only thing that stopped him from ripping me head off was a driving need to find his daughter and niece as quickly as possible. That didn't stop him from shooting me dark looks across the room at every available opportunity. Now, I'm not scared of Cid or anything, but those looks did remind me just how much he was holding over my head – and just how much I still had to confess to Rikku.

It was going to get our reunion off to a flying start. "_Glad you're doing well, old girl, oh and by the way, I've got a deep dark secret that your father's trying to blackmail me with. Wanna hear it?_"

No, maybe I'd wait a while. And make sure that Cid didn't come anywhere near us.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option for me right now. When he wasn't trying to kill me by the power of his eyes alone, Cid was busy harassing the Allonson's for any little piece of information that they might have overlooked. After two days of constant questions backed by ever-growing frustration, the Allonsons were reaching break point. We'd been over every detail, we'd double and triple checked every fact and we were still no closer to finding out the identity of the mysterious forth bridesmaid. Poor little Amea was bearing the brunt of the interrogation and she was visibly cracking under the pressure. And yet no matter how many times she was asked, she couldn't remember anything about the forth woman who'd been in the hotel that day.

It was like watching a Blitzball game between the Aurochs and the Goers – no matter how many times they played, the result was always the same.

"What can you remember about the bridesmaids, eh?"

"I – I don't know."

"There should have been three. Rikku – she's short and blond –"

"Did you speak to them?"

"No, I – I can't remember, I –"

" – then Paine, she's the scary looking one with red eyes –"

"What did they say?"

"I'm not –"

" – and Lulu, she's the tall, elegant one, so what did the forth one look like?"

"Dammit girl, they must have said something?"

"I – I …"

The poor girl looked terrified, her head seesawing back and forth between them. She opened her mouth to speak, faltered and then closed it again. After the third repetition of this, Cid grew impatient and seized her arm. "Well? Well?" he grunted, thrusting his red face into Amea's. Her mother cried out in protest while Amea tried to shrink back into the chair.

"Lost your tongue girl?" Cid demanded.

"I can't remember!" Amea burst into tears and buried her face in her mother's chest. Mrs Allonson glared at Cid. "That's quite enough of that!"

Silence fell. Cid's face was an alarming shade of puce. Tidus looked drained and devastated; pretty much how he'd looked since we'd discovered Yuna and Rikku were missing. The Allonsons had gathered around Amea like a protective barrier. Her little sister's bottom lip was trembling.

I was studying Amea. There was something – something that we were all missing in our desperate quest to find out the identity of the forth bridesmaid. Something about this situation was hauntingly familiar. And as I watched the Allonson soothe their trembling daughter, it suddenly came to me.

There had been a case, back on Bikanel Island. A young Al Bhed girl had been found by her father, crying hysterically, her clothing torn. Even before the medical examination it had been clear what had happened to her. But what nobody could understand was why the girl couldn't remember anything. Some had called it a blessing, but the healers had been confused. While it was common for the mind to protect itself by hiding horrific memories, it was more than just the attack that the girl couldn't remember. She'd lost time both before and after too.

In the end, it was the mundane that provided the answer. The girl cut her hand on a sharp piece of metal and the blood that emerged was dappled with specks of blue light. When the healers studied her blood, they found traces of a foreign chemical. Further tests were carried out and it was soon concluded that this chemical, this drug, was responsible for the girl's memory loss.

_Tnays ticd _they called it. Literally, 'dream dust'.

"Amea."

Everyone looked at me as if wondering who had dared to break the quiet. Amea pulled away from her mother's embrace. Her huge dark eyes were shining with tears.

"I think I know what the problem is here, but first I wanna do a little test." I held out my hand. "If you would be so kind."

Amea looked confused. Then, tentatively, she gave me her hand.

Quick as I could, I snatched a small knife from my pocket and drew it across her palm. She gasped; her mother tried to pull us apart and then faltered. "Praise be to Yevon!"

The thin cut was glistening with millions of minute blue lights.

* * *

It took a lot of explaining. Mrs Allonson was convinced her daughter was about to die from some horrible foreign disease. Cid looked highly sceptical, but that could have been because it was me who was doing the talking. Only Tidus seemed to believe me, although I'm pretty sure he would have believed in anything right then.

"How do you cure it?" he asked.

I was hoping no one was going to ask me this because all I could do was shrug. "That I don't know."

"Then what use was your little speech, eh?"

I levelled Cid with a look. "Least we know that Amea ain't holdin' anythin' back from us."

Rikku's da snorted rudely.

"And anyway, the memories are still in there somewhere." I waved at Amea's head. "We just have to coax 'em out."

"You waste your time with the girl then. _I'm_ gonna go let Nooj and Baralai what a mess this is." What a mess _you've _caused, he seemed to be saying. Somehow I didn't think I was going to come off very well in that conversation.

As Cid stomped out of the room, I knelt down before Amea and took both of her hands in mine. "Amea, I know this is hard, but I need you to concentrate, okay? Just think back to the girls that were in the hotel that day." She stared into my eye. "Can you remember their faces?"

"No," she replied miserably.

"Just try. Go on. You know what Lady Yuna looks like, yeah? Do you remember her?"

There was a long pause. Amea's brow was creased and she looked like she was trying really hard. For a moment I thought she had it and then she sagged back in the chair. "I'm sorry, I really can't remember. I know that they were there – that they came in – but I don't, I can't see their faces."

I didn't know what else to try. I knew that _theoretically_ the lost memories could be recovered in time (the Al Bhed girl had remember some facts about her attack) but Spira knew how long it was going to take.

Tidus nudged me in the side with his foot. I looked up and he jerked his head to side. Thinking he wanted to talk to me, I rose and stepped aside. Instead, he dropped into my place before Amea and took her hands. "Hi Amea."

"H-Hi."

"I'm Yuna's fiancé."

"Yes – I know."

"If I talk about her for a bit, do you think that would help?"

Amea nodded shyly.

"Okay – where to start? Well she's the most important person in my life. She's strong, confident and yet really vulnerable at the same time …"

Hearing Tidus wax lyrical about Yuna was like having someone shoot me in the chest. And trust me, I know from experience how much that hurts. Everything he was saying about her – how beautiful she was, how brave – all of it could be applied to her cousin too. I'd been trying to ignore how much I was missing Rikku but now it came rushing forwards. This then was what it felt like to love someone. This heart-racing fear, this agony, this desperation to hold her in my arms, to kiss her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright and no one was going to come between us ever again.

But she wasn't here. She was Spira knew where, with Spira knew who, who was doing Spira knew what to her. I forced that thought back as it threatened to make me completely lose my composure – the last thing any of us needed right now.

Finally Tidus's words dried up and he rocked back on his heels. Amea's eyes were closed but her body was tense. Suddenly she groaned and an expression of something akin to pain passed over her face. She rubbed at her forehead, massaging the skin.

"Amea?" Mrs Allonson touched her daughter's shoulder.

Amea shook her head slowly. "Tell me – tell me something else. Something about – about the others."

"No! Amea, this is hurting you!"

"Just – just tell me," Amea begged.

Tidus obliged, describing both Paine and Lulu in quick succession while Amea grew paler and paler. When he got to Rikku, he glanced up at me.

"You wanna do the honours?"

Talk about Rikku? My mind went blank and my heart clenched. "You do it," I said shortly.

Tidus raised his eyebrows but launched into a description of my petite, blonde-haired girlfriend anyway. I resisted the urge to clap my hands over my ears and instead focused entirely on one of the paintings on the Allonson's wall. It showed a beach scene and the colours of the people's clothing suggested it had been painted on Besaid Island. Maybe on the very beach were Yuna and Tidus had been supposed to get married. With Rikku as a bridesmaid …

_Shut up, mind, shut the hell up!_

Tidus finished up his description with a little anecdote from Yuna's pilgrimage that made Amea smile shakily. Then she gasped and grabbed frantically at her forehead.

"Amea!" her mother cried.

"I – I –"

Tidus and I shared a concerned look. Had we pushed things too far?

"I – I – I remember!" Amea's eyes flew open and sat bolt upright. Tidus fell backwards in surprise. "I can remember! I can remember the Lady Yuna and – and the others. They're there. In my mind! I can remember!"

_Finally_, we were getting somewhere. The grin on Tidus's face could have powered the whole of Spira. I clapped my hands together like a little kid and dragged the startled Amea into a rough embrace, ignoring the squawking protests of her mother. When I released her again, her cheeks were the colour of Brother's Celsius and she quickly busied herself with neatly arranging her skirts.

Tidus settled in front of her again and asked the fateful question. "Amea … what do you remember now?"

She was silent for a moment, presumably trying to pull her confused thoughts into some semblance of an order. "Those girls you described … I can remember them now. It's like – like something's been unlocked inside my mind. I couldn't before but now I just can."

"What can you tell us about them?"

"The blonde one … Rikku wasn't it? Rikku, yes, well she kept making these jokes."

Against my better judgement, I smiled. That was just like Rikku.

"And – and the one with red eyes. She, um, asked me to bring the bags upstairs."

Somehow I imagined it was more of an order.

"And the elegant lady –"

"Lulu."

" – yes, Lulu. She was the one who made the booking in the first place."

"And what about the forth one?"

"Brown hair," Amea said without thinking. Then she clapped her hands over her mouth as if she'd said something horribly rude.

I seized on that tit-bit of information. "Brown hair? How do you know that?"

"I – I don't –" Amea was visibly struggling against the drug in her system. "Brown hair – it was long and very dark and –" A frustrated sound burst out of her. "Why can't I remember?"

"Just take your time," Tidus soothed.

"Brown hair … long … long brown hair in – in braids! She had braids!"

Something stirred inside me, some memory, but it slipped away before I could grasp it.

"All these long dark braids!" Amea clapped her hands together. "Yes, yes I can see them – I can see her. She's – she's got long dark braids and her eyes – her eyes are … green? Yes, green. I think. But there's something more …" She cast about for an answer and her eyes rested on me. "They were like your eyes. Eye." She blushed prettily. "I mean they were all swirly."

She might have said more, but I was no longer listening. Everything we'd learned about the girls' kidnapping was untangling inside my mind. A forth bridesmaid. An accomplice. A brown-haired Al Bhed. Someone who had a grudge against Yuna, who was driving for some kind of political gain, or had chosen the most visible woman in the world to hold to ransom. We knew the first three facts were true, but what if we'd been wrong about the target? What if this had a lot less to do with the High Summoner and a lot more to do with her cousin?

A dark-haired Al Bhed girl, with braids, who had some kind of connection to all of this. A forth bridesmaid. Some kind of connection to Rikku. An accomplice. A brown-haired Al Bhed with a grudge. Some kind of revenge? Against Rikku …

A face swam instantly into my mind and it ticked too many boxes to simply be coincidence. In one of those startling flashes of clarity, I knew I was right.

Tidus was talking somewhere behind me, his voice rising " – Al Bhed, must have snuck her accomplice in when the girl wasn't looking –". Amea was gazing up at me, her eyes wide and guileless. I'd seen this kind of hero-worship before. Hell, I'd manipulated it enough in the past, I mean, hasn't everyone? One more time wouldn't hurt. Besides, if anyone realised what I just had, then Spira knew what would happen.

I pulled Amea to her feet. Startled, she was slack in my grip. Tidus broke off and stared at me and Mrs Allonson stepped backwards.

"I'm gonna go write down what Amea's told us," I lied smoothly. "Then we can reference it quickly if we need to."

Tidus threw me a questioning glance at me but before he could protest, I hurried the unresisting Amea from the room and out into the city beyond. I guided her through Luca and up onto the hillside square at the base of the Mi'ihen Highroad, all without saying a word. She didn't protest although she must have been wondering what in Spira's name I was doing.

I sat her down on one of the benches, where she folded her hands neatly in her lap. I leaned against the railings and watched the travellers pass along the Highroad. Putting my thoughts in order took longer than I expected and Amea was beginning to look worried by the time I turned back to her.

"Have I done something wrong?"

The thought seemed to pain her and the expression on her face was begging me to disagree. I smiled slowly at her, noting how a rich blush spread across her cheeks. "Nothing like that. I just need you to do me a favour."

"Oh anything!"

"Amea," I joined her on the bench and took her hand. Our faces were so close I could pick out the individual freckles on her face. "If I showed you a picture of the girl, the forth bridesmaid … do you think you would recognise her?"

"Of course," she breathed. I hoped she wasn't just telling me what I wanted to hear.

I released her hand and pulled a sphere out of my pocket. It was smaller than a traditional movie sphere, and rather than being amber in colour, it was pale blue. I'd been carrying it around for as long as I could remember. Never in a million years had I imagined I'd be showing it to a stranger to try and locate my kidnapped girlfriend.

"It's a photosphere," I explained, handing it to her. "Works like a movie sphere, 'cept it shows frozen images rather than movin' ones."

"Wow – this is, this is so cool!"

I didn't tell her that photospheres were considered to be seriously outdated technology.

"How many pictures does it hold?" She tilted the sphere upside down, trying to see through it.

"I dunno. As many as you can take, I guess." She smiled at my answer.

"Here." I took the sphere back and pressed my thumbs into the base. Images blossomed within the smoky depths and I cycled quickly through them until I found the one I was looking for. "This is what I wanted you to look at."

Amea took the photosphere back and studied the image carefully, examining it from every angle. A full minute had passed before she nodded slowly. "Yes, that's her. I'm certain."

I smiled, even though I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. "Thanks, Amea. You've been a great help."

She held the sphere out to me. "The girl … do you know her?"

I was such an innocent question and I ignored it with practiced ease. "You'd better get back the hotel. Your parents probably want all this over with."

"Oh – yes!" She dropped the sphere into my hand and stood up, smoothing down her skirt. "Oh, they're probably worried. They don't like me going off on my own – and what with mother being so upset, and father, well my father thinks this is all his fault, you see – if anything happens to the Lady Summoner he'll never forgive himself –"

I gave her a gentle push. "Go and put their minds at ease. They should be very proud."

"I hope so." She rocked back and forth on her toes. "Well – goodbye then."

I lifted her hand to my lips. "It's been a pleasure."

She squeaked, hugged her hand to her chest and then hurried off. I waited until she was out of sight and then sagged back onto the bench, running a hand through my hair. The sphere in my hand sparkled in the sun. I raised it up to eyelevel. A girl smiled out at me, her dark hair flying around her face and her eyes dancing.

Did I know her? I'd thought so one. But then again, I'd thought the same about her brother – and Spira knows how wrong I'd been about him.

Yeah I knew her. She was my employee. My friend. And once upon a time, she'd even been my sister.

She was Elhandra.

* * *

I don't know how long I sat there, working things through in my head.

Elhandra … she'd tried to contact me, hadn't she? A few weeks ago – I remembered something about a call. Had she known then what she was going to do? I guessed that she'd wanted to find out as much as she could about Rikku's whereabouts. And someone must have told her – otherwise, how had she known which hotel Yuna's wedding party had been using? Unless there was someone else working against them – I thrust that thought firmly aside. Paranoia had never been an attractive trait and unless I had proof …

I sighed. Everything was such a mess. Why hadn't I thought of Elhandra earlier? She was the obvious choice; whatever way you tried to spin it, Rikku and I had – in part – been responsible for her brother's death. Losing a family member was hard at the best of times, but Lreav had taken his own life. Spira knows how that had affected Elhandra.

I stared at the woman in the sphere. She looked so young and happy, yet it had only been taken last year. I thought of when I'd last seen her, just before she'd gone back to Bikanel Island after Lreav's death. Then she'd looked drained, haunted, shattered. But still my friend. Still the girl I'd grown up with.

On the other hand, if experience has taught me anything, it's that you can never truly know other people. And in some ways, Elhandra's revenge for Lreav makes a hell of a let more sense that Lreav's motives towards me.

It was all starting to make a horrible kind of sense. Elhandra would know about mine and Rikku's relationship; probably one of the only people who did outside of our immediate friends. And Spira knows she and Rikku don't get along. What I couldn't figure out was what Elhandra was planning to do with Rikku now. Ransom? That seemed unlikely; this whole messy situation had never had anything to do with money. Kill her? I felt physically sick at the thought. But no – Elhandra wasn't a killer. Whatever had happened to her, however far she had been twisted by the events around her, she wouldn't kill anyone. There was just no way.

The problem was, I couldn't see that there were many other options left to her.

My hand clenched around the sphere. Elhandra smiled out at me and I felt a pang of regret for the woman she had once been. How could I have been so blind, to not see how Lreav's death had driven her to this? I'd been too wrapped up in my own guilt, my work, - _Rikku_ – to think about she was feeling. In some ways, this was as much my fault as it was Elhandra's.

Which left me with something of a problem. I had two choices, that much was clear. And I knew what I _should_ do; I should head straight back to hotel and tell Tidus and Cid what I'd found out. On the other hand, Elhandra was my friend. She was my responsibility. Bringing in the big guns was guaranteeing her a life behind bars when we caught up with her. But if I went alone then maybe, just maybe, I could convince her to stop before anyone got hurt. So much of what had happened to her was my fault … I owed it to her to try and help.

The sphere disappeared back into my pocket as if it had never existed. And I headed off up the Mi'ihen Highroad without looking back.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N: **So the chapter's finished - and only about 3 months late. Apologies/explanations are in my profile, so please read that if you're curious. I just want to say thanks for everyone's patience and support and depending on my real-life workload, the next chapter may be up within the next few weeks :)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Sixteen: Rikku_

* * *

I was lying in the floor. My cheek was pressed against the cold stone and my right arm was twisted uncomfortably beneath my body. Confused – how had I ended up here? – I tried to move but my head throbbed so painfully that I gasped and lay still.

Someone nearby was calling my name but it sounded weird, like it was coming from a really long way away. I tried to concentrate on the words but as they drew closer to me they were overwhelmed by a deafening crack that sent shockwaves through my head.

Hands dragged me upwards and a face swam before my eyes. Pale skin, dark hair and an unusually ornate white dress … Yuna?

My eyes drifted passed the woman who might have been my cousin and I found myself staring at the little hole in the tall metal support behind her. It was smoking slightly and the edges were scorched black.

A bullet hole.

A bullet hole? Someone was firing a gun?

"Rikku!"

Why was someone firing a gun?

"Rikku – _come on_! Do you want to die here?"

Die here? What was Yuna talking about? Someone was firing … at us? I tried to make sense of the situation but my thoughts were all fighting against each other like players in a Blitzball stadium. It felt like my head was going to explode and all I wanted to do was sleep.

"_Watch out!_"

Yuna shoved me sideways as that piercing crack sounded again. I staggered and half-fell against the wall. Looking back I saw my cousin crouching on the floor and a man pointing a smoking gun firmly at her head. No, not just any man –

Lreav.

_Oh – my – God._

Before he could fire again, Yuna snatched Fish-breath's discarded knife off the floor and rushed at him. Caught by surprise, Lreav was knocked off balance and the gun fell from his hand. Yuna lunged for it, but just as her fingers were closing around the handle, Lreav regained his footing and lashed out. His blow caught Yuna in the side and sent her skidding across the floor towards me. As Lreav raised the gun again, I struggled away from the wall and stepped between him and Yuna. Confronted with me instead of my cousin, Lreav hesitated.

Yuna scrambled to her feet and threw the knife. It sailed across the room and struck Lreav in his thigh, sinking deeply into the muscle. He cried out and clutched at his leg as it collapsed beneath him,

Yuna pulled my arm around her shoulder. "Come on!"

We ran out of the room, Yuna supporting me as much as she could. The corridor outside was much the same as the room we had just left; metallic and cold with a low ceiling and no windows. It trailed off into two directions and Yuna hurried south without pausing. I struggled to keep my eyes open as the walls flashed past. Fish-breath's blow to my head was really taking its toll.

Down another corridor, a right, then a left, then a second right and finally I could smell the familiar fresh scent of damp earth. We rounded one final corner and ended up facing a metal door that was standing slightly ajar. Yuna propped me against the wall and hurried to the door, tugging frantically on the heavy chain that was looped around the handles. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, my legs splayed out in front of me like a pair of limp noodles. I felt dizzy and light-headed, and there was still blood trickling lazily down the side of my face. I probably looked like some kind of awful abstract painting – all blood-splattered satin and wispy golden hair.

"Open, open, _open_!" Yuna sagged against the door, breathing hard. "Damn you to Sin and back!" She let go of the chain. "I can't get it open. I _knew _I should have kept that knife!"

I tried to tell her that it was okay, we'd find another way out, but my mouth didn't seem to be working properly. Yuna turned back to me, her white dress smeared with my blood and ripped by the fight with Lreav. "Rikku? No, Rikku – you have to stay awake! Please! I can't do this on my own!"

She was crying, I could hear it in her voice. I forced my eyes to focus as she dragged me to my feet. "We have to try together! Come on, Rikku – _please_!"

I wrapped my hands around the chain and pulled as hard as I could. It rattled weakly against the door and then slipped between my fingers. Yuna grabbed my hands and wrapped them back around the chain. For a moment we pulled together and the door seemed to shift slightly but then my head gave a particularly vicious throb and I faltered, my strength failing. Yuna caught me before I could fall; she lowered me carefully to the ground, hands cradling my face. She was mouthing something – I think it might have been my name – but all I could hear was the ringing in my ears and the pounding of my heart. The thought that I might be dying swam into my mind.

My eyes wandered away from Yuna's pale face, passing over her shoulder. There was a worrying amount of blood on the wall, where I had been leaning against it earlier. A big crimson stain … I'd never seen so much blood in one place. Had all of that come out of my head? No wonder I felt so weird …

There was something coming up the corridor, drawing closer to the stain, to me and Yuna. It was moving awkwardly, limping, but it kept coming.

_Lreav._

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Why couldn't I talk? Just one little word was all it would take. I had to warn Yuna – she had to run before – before –

Maybe she saw something in my eyes; whatever the reason, Yuna looked back in time to see Lreav running down the corridor towards us. She yanked desperately on the chain one final time but the door remained firmly shut. Her eyes closed momentarily and then she rose to her feet and spun around. One hand tore the train of her skirt, ripping it off in a jagged line above the knee. The other pulled one of the glittering hairpins from her hair and she brandished it like a sword. Against Lreav's gun it was pitiful, but as Yuna stepped forward to confront Lreav, I felt a rush of pride at my cousin's bravery.

"I know who you are," she said, her voice amazingly steady. "Though I confess I had never thought to meet you in person."

He looked past her, his eyes seeking mine. I read such hunger there that I thought I was going to be sick. It was like Fish-breath all over again, only worse because this was Lreav and I – I what? I _knew_ him? Yeah, I'd really known him hadn't I. Known that he'd been bombing innocent people to get revenge on my boyfriend, while all the time pretending to be his friend. Spira, I don't think I'd ever misjudged someone so badly.

Lreav's eyes widened as he studied my face. "You're – you're hurt. You're hurt Rikku –"

"Don't talk to her," Yuna fired back, stepping between us. "You've done enough already."

"I would never hurt her."

"You shot at her!"

"I was aiming for you!"

He raised the gun once more but Yuna was already moving. As the bullet slammed into the wall behind my head, my cousin lunged forward with the hairpin and scored a line along Lreav's arm. She was trying to make him drop the gun again, one muddled part of my mind realised, but although he screamed, the gun remained firmly in Lreav's hands. And then once again it was being pointed at my cousin's head.

This time he didn't get the chance to fire. Yuna closed with him, driving her shoulder into his chest and knocking him backwards. Unbalanced, Lreav tripped and fell; in an instant, Yuna was back at my side, pulling me back onto my feet and hurrying us down the corridor. Her face was so close to mine that I could feel her breath on my cheek. She was saying something, I think, something about 'getting around the corner'. If we could just get around the corner …

Then what? We'd be safe? Somehow Lreav would disappear in a giant puff of smoke? Somehow this nightmare would turn out to be a weird shared dream that we'd laugh about in the morning?

If we could just get around the corner …

Like a mantra, it played over and over in my mind, drowning out everything else. So when Yuna stiffened and gasped, I barely noticed. If we could just get around the corner then yes, everything would be okay, and Gippal would be waiting for me, and Yuna and Tidus would get married and have a baby –

Yuna fell against me, knocking us both into the wall. I struggled to remain on my feet but the dead weight of my cousin's body dragged me downwards. Her hair lashed across my face and the sick taste of blood filled my mouth.

It took me one of those life-changing, endless moments to realise that the blood wasn't mine.

"Yunie?" The word sounded strange – like it was coming from a great distance away. Like it wasn't my voice saying it. "Yunie?"

I tugged at her arm. She didn't move.

Alarm swept through me as my sluggish thoughts began to catch up with what my eyes were trying to tell me. Yuna was sprawled across my knees and there was blood – at lot of it – seeping across her pristine white wedding dress.

"Yuna?" I whispered.

"She isn't dead."

I looked up. Lreav was standing over us, his expression oddly pitying. The gun he had been clutching – the gun he'd used to shoot Yuna – was safely back in its holster. I stared at the slender piece of machina. Funny how something so small and insignificant could cause so much damage. Maybe Yevon had it right after all. Maybe machina should be banned.

"Rikku?"

A hand touched my hair and I recoiled, pushing myself backwards until I hit the wall. Yuna shifted in my lap and I hugged her against me, stroking the hair back from her face. Glaring up at Lreav – how dare he try to touch me? – I was amazed to see that instead of looking manic, or even simply happy, he was the picture of sympathy.

Sympathy? He'd just shot my cousin and now he was feeling sympathetic? Did he even have _any_ idea – Lreav stepped forward again, his hand outstretched and I spat full in his face.

"_Don't touch me_! Don't even come near me! Just – just stay there and – just stay away!"

He seemed shocked, almost bewildered. "But Rikku, I just want to help you."

"_Help me_?" I laughed hysterically. Blood trickled down the side of my nose and into my mouth, mingling with Yuna's. "You just shot me cousin! How can you possibly imagine that I'm gonna accept your help? You're _syt! Y lnywo bcolru sytsyh. Yht E ruba drao lydlr oui yht drnuikr oui eh zyem vun dra nacd uv ouin secanypma meva_ –(You're mad! A crazy psycho madman. And I hope they catch you and throw you in jail for the rest of your miserable life -)

He slapped me sharply across the face. My head whacked into the wall and I lost a few moments to the darkness. When I came back to myself, Lreav was holding me tightly, his arms wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Rikku. And I'm only doing this _because _I love you. Because you need to be protected. Because I'm the only one that can. Because we're meant – because it's supposed to be us, not _him_, never _him_ and if you just realise that then I won't have to hurt you anymore –"

_He's completely insane_, I realised dully. _Completely insane. And I – I've lost a lot of blood. A really large amount. So I guess that's why the world seems to be spinning. And why – why I can't help Yunie –_

I was crying, I realised then. That horrible soft crying that sneaks up on you when you reach the point where reality sets in. No one was going to come flying through the door and save us. Yuna wasn't magically going to get better. And the man who had almost destroyed everything I cared about really was alive.

When my body finally gave up the fight and my eyes slid shut, I almost welcomed the darkness.

* * *

You know when you have those nightmares when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep? When everything seems so real, so vivid. Like if you cut yourself, you'll really bleed. And if someone shoots you … you really die. But then you wake up in the morning and everything's ok again and it becomes just that, a nightmare. Something to laugh about when you remember how scared you felt.

Problem was, as much as my current situation ticked all the 'nightmare' boxes, trying to wake up wasn't working.

I thought that when I opened my eyes, I'd be back at the hotel in Luca. Any moment now, Yuna would burst through the door with that look on her face that was strange mixture of excitement and terror and I'd start reassuring her that _yes_, she _was_ doing the right thing because _yes_,she'd proved she loved Tidus by the fact that she'd travelled to the end of Spira and fought the ultimate evil to try and bring him back …

When I finally did open my eyes, I found myself lying on a bed in a room that I had never seen before. As my brain struggled with the realisation that it hadn't all just been a bad dream, I became aware of two things. The first was that the room was cold. And I'm not talking a-little-chilly-maybe-some-ice-if-you're-lucky cold, I'm talking full blown I'm-naked-and-standing-in-the-middle-of-a-snowstorm cold. I could actually see my breath. I started shivering in response, drawing the thin blanket up around my shoulders. I was still clothed – thank Spira – although the bridesmaid's dress was looking rather sorry for itself, being stained, torn and dotted with blood.

Staring at the blood made me realise something else: my head had stopped hurting. I reached up cautiously and prodded the area that had been bleeding so merrily the day – or was it two days? – before. It was still slightly tender, but my finger came away free of blood. Someone had healed me while I slept.

The fact that there been a time – a fairly significant period of time – that I had been unconscious was unsettling. Particularly when the name of my captor swam back into my mind. Lreav, by his own omission, had been in love with me. And there was certainly enough current evidence to back up my theory that he was insane. But did that mean that he would … I couldn't be sure. Hating myself, hating Lreav, hating the situation, I slowly lifted up the skirt of my dress.

Relief swept over me like a wave crashing onto a beach. My thighs were free of any marks or abrasions and more than that, I felt clean. Untouched. Spira, I'd heard enough stories from my friends among the Al Bhed about what that all important 'first time' felt like – and it wasn't like this. Whatever Lreav wanted me for, it wasn't physical.

Yet.

I rolled over and sat up. The room wavered before my eyes and I shook my head slowly. Apparently blood loss couldn't be fixed by a Cure spell. I'd have to be careful if I wanted to get out of here before the rescue party arrived.

Poking about the small room yielded little in the way of information. It was a colourless cell, only made bearable by the thick rug that covered the slate floor. No windows, no furniture beyond the bed and absolutely no colour. It was like someone had designed it to blend in with a snowstorm – and judging by the thin sheet of frost coating the walls, this wasn't such a mad idea.

I shivered again. My fingernails were turning blue and even with everything else going on, I realised this wasn't good. Maybe this had been Lreav's plan – leave me to freeze to death in an ice box while he … well, did whatever it is he'd been doing since faking his own death. Not exactly the most impressive way to kill me but hey, Lreav wasn't exactly walking to line of sanity. After what he'd done to Yuna –

I sat down suddenly. Spira, how long had it really been? Had someone found my cousin? Yes, they must have. And right now, Yuna was tucked up in a bed in a hospital somewhere, with Tidus and Lulu and Paine …

_Or she died. Alone. Because of me._

I felt sick. No – no that couldn't be true … could it? No, of course not. Yunie was the High Summoner. I'd always imagined she'd go out in a blaze of glory surrounded by friends and family. Not alone, in a dirty corridor, in her wedding dress.

_With her unborn child_.

Oh Spira – I barely got clear of the bed before I was retching helplessly, throwing up a little blood and not a lot else. My stomach cramped horribly and I wondered if this wasn't the first time that I'd been sick. I didn't feel hungry, but then I couldn't remember eating either. How long had I been locked in this hellish little room?

Tucking my hair back behind my ears, I turned away from the mess on the floor. Lreav could clean it up – his penance for sticking me in this situation to begin with. I had better things to do with my time – such as finding a way out of the ice box.

I pulled the sheet from my shoulders and wrapped it around my hands instead. Last thing I needed was frostbite. Crouching, I carefully felt along the join of each of the bricks in the wall, looking for a weakness. Even through the sheet the cold was painful and I kept having to stop and stick my hands under my armpits. It was almost ironic; I went through so much of life dressed impractically and in – let's be honest – not very much, and now I was stuck in a dress in an ice-box. Someone, somewhere was laughing at me.

Gippal would have found the whole situation hysterical. Rather than help me, he'd probably just sit there with that stupid smug look on his face – or if he did offer to help, it would be an offer with a whole fishing net of strings attached.

I found myself smiling at the thought. Oddly enough, instead of upsetting me, thinking of Gippal actually made me feel better. I began to wonder what he would do in this situation and decided his actions would probably be the same as mine. In fact, he'd probably be proud of how well I'd done so far. I hadn't lost it – I hadn't let Lreav win and damn me, I wasn't going to. I was going to get out of my private icy hell and I was going bring him the reckoning he so badly deserved. And maybe I'd leave enough of him intact for Yuna to have a piece too. Though she would have to get in line behind Gippal – if anyone had to right to kick Lreav's scrawny little butt then it was him. Maybe we could do it together – yeah, or make it a spectator sport. The people of Guadosalam and Kilika deserved a bit of revenge too –

The door swung open so suddenly that I jumped. It was one of those big metal ones, like I would imagine protected the vaults in the city banks, and it thumped loudly back against the wall. Before I had time to gather myself for an attack, Lreav stepped into the room.

For the first time I got a good look at the man who had torn my life apart once again. He looked – well _ill_ was the word that first sprung to mind, Old and tired. The skin of his face hung loosely and the dark smears under his eyes had grown to crater-like proportions. His brown hair was longer than I remembered it too; curling around the neck of his shirt. It looked unwashed.

His eyes though, that was where he had changed the most. Even towards the end of the hunt for the bomber, when his plans had been unravelling around him, he'd maintained his cool. That Mr Pleasant façade had fooled us all. But now – now when I looked into his eyes what I saw there made my skin physically crawl. Seriously. Because there was a devotion there – but a devotion completely devoid of reason. His obsession to punish Gippal for the death of his mother had mutated into an obsession that firmly centred around me. Whatever he claimed his motivations were now, they were as much to do with me as they were with Gippal.

"How did you survive?"

The question slipped out before it occurred to me that I really wanted to know the answer. After all, I'd been there when Lreav had thrown himself off the top of Kilika temple. And I knew, from personal experience of climbing all those steps, that it was a long, _long _way down to the jungle floor. So unless Lreav had somehow managed to grow wings in the few seconds it had taken him to fall …

Lreav shut the door behind him. "How are you feeling?"

"Answer the question."

"Rikku –"

"Answer the question."

He seemed surprised by my attitude – as if looking me in a freezing room should have made me like him or something. Sighing, he sat on the bed and folded his hands neatly in his lap. I eyed the door speculatively.

"It locks automatically."

A comment like that reminded me not to take anything at face value. Even when he seemed to have lost the plot, he was still sane enough to be working on two levels at once – which made him dangerous. I tried to pretend I didn't know what he was talking about. "Stop stalling and answer the damn question."

"I'm sorry."

I laughed derisively. "That's not exactly what I was looking for."

"Rikku, this anger, this sarcasm – it isn't you." His words were imploring. "Please, just come and sit down and I'll explain everything."

It was like he wasn't even listening to me. Could he even hear what I was saying?

"If you think I'm coming anywhere near you then you're mad."

"Mad?" He smiled oddly. "Perhaps. In some ways. But in others – a saviour."

"Saviour?" I was suddenly furiously angry. "Have I stumbled into a parallel universe without realising it? How are you a saviour Lreav? You bombed Guadosalam, killing hundreds of people. You bombed Kilika, killing even more. You framed Gippal. You shot Yuna! How – even in your twisted mind – can you call yourself a saviour?"

"But don't you see –" He leaned forward eagerly. " – none of that matters! Because I've finally done it. I should have done it earlier – it should have been my aim all along. But none of that is important now. Because I've made it right."

"What have you done?" I asked slowly.

He smiled beatifically. "I've saved you."

A moment passed. Then another one. I stared at Lreav, trying to choose between hysterical laughter or bursting into tears. He stood up and pulled me over towards the bed. "I know it's a lot to understand, but don't you see? This, your cousin – everything I've done has been to save _you_."

"What – no, you – you're insane!" I wrenched away from him. "I didn't _need_ saving! _E teth'd haat cyjehk!_ (_I didn't need saving_) Maybe – maybe you could have turned up when Sin was still around. Yeah Sin – or Vegagun even – Spira, I could have used a little saving then. But _not_ when my life is finally starting to mean something, when things are _happening_ when – when – when I finally feel like I'm doing what _I_ want to do with my life!" I broke off, panting. He waited patiently for me to continue – which only made me even angrier. _Why _didn't he understand what was so damn obvious?

"I love life. I love _my_ life. The life that _I _chose. With the _people_ that I chose. And if you think – if you _really_ think – that you've somehow saved me from that then you obviously don't know anything about me. I _chose _that you _eteud_ (idiot)! I made the decision! You haven't saved me – you've _kidnapped_ _me_!"

If I expected him to scream back at me, I was disappointed. He just … sat there. Smiling that creepy little smile. Rather than upset him, he seemed pleased by my anger.

"Oh, Rikku, don't you see? This is exactly what I've saved you from!"

It was at that point when I realised any semblance of the man I had once known, the man I had called my friend, was gone. Whatever had happened to Lreav after he disappeared over the edge of Kilika temple had changed him beyond recognition. I'd called him 'insane' out of anger. The problem was, I was right.

"You were never meant for this kind of life – the unhappiness, the discontent. No one else sees it by I know – _I know_, Rikku. You've never been good at lying to me. I know this isn't what you want. To be trapped, treated like – like you're a-a possession. I've seen it, you know. I've seen you there – I've heard the shouting and the crying and I've seen the longing in you for someone – _anyone_ – to rescue you." His firsts clenched and when he looked up at me, his eyes begged me to understand. "How could I ignore that?"

I would have back away but I was already pressed against the wall. "You've been watching me?"

"I had to. I had to keep you safe."

"I can't believe … that you've been watching me."

I felt sick and only the presence of my earlier efforts kept the bile in my throat. Lreav had seen everything. All that time at Djose Temple. All those private hours spent with Gippal. All the arguments, and the door slamming and – oh Spira – the kissing. It felt like I was standing naked in front of Lreav, with all my innermost secrets and thoughts on display.

"How dare you."

"Rikku …"

"How dare you come into my life and – and _watch_ _me_! Do you know how humiliating that is?"

"It was for your protection!"

"_I don't need protecting_!" I screamed at him. I was so angry I literally felt like I was going to explode. "And I don't need any of this! I just need my cousin to be well again, and for her baby to be born and – and for Gippal to be here to make everything alright –"

He seized me by the shoulders. "Gippal?_ Gippal?_" His voice high and hysterical. Drops of his spittle lashed across my face but when I tried to twist out of his grip, his fingers tightened. "I suppose you know everything now, don't you? I suppose he told you – or told you what he _wanted _to anyway. Perfect, handsome Gippal. Everybody's favourite. Got everything handed to him without _any_ effort while _some of us_ had to scrabble around in the dirt. Does he have any idea what it's like to struggle? _No_. To not be adored? _No._ Not our high and mighty leader, sneering down at everybody and treating them like – like they're beneath his notice."

"He's not – he's not like that –"

Lreav's fingers bit into my shoulders and I gasped. "_He murdered my mother!_"

"It was an accident!"

"An _accident_?" He drove me backwards; I hit the wall heavily, all the air rushing out of my lungs. "Is that what he told you?"

His face was so close to mine that I could see the specs of brown in his green eyes. "He told me everything. Honestly and plainly. He didn't hold anything back." I swallowed. "I can understand why you might not want to believe that it was an accident –"

"And Juyane? Did he tell you about her too?"

Juyane?

Who in Spira was Juyane?

It wasn't a name I'd ever heard before – seriously, I didn't recognise it at all. About all I could tell you was that it was female, and Al Bhed. But an Al Bhed female? With a connection to Gippal?

His mother maybe? He'd never told me her name – I got the impression that he didn't like talking about his past, or his family. Too many bad memories, especially when everything with Lreav was kicking off. But still, it made me feel … I don't know – it was just wrong, you know? That Gippal and I were – that he was my boyfriend and yet I didn't even know his mother's name.

I hoped Juyane was Gippal's mom. But somehow … somehow I knew she wasn't.

Lreav must have read my answer in my face because he suddenly released me. "I didn't think so."

I watched as he walked back over to the bed and sat down. He ran his hand over the rough sheet and took a deep, shuddering breath. I adjusted my dress, pulling up the sleeve that had slipped down when Lreav had grabbed me. I suddenly felt completely exhausted. The combination of everything that had happened, coupled with the freezing, it had sapped all my energy. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a corner, close my eyes, and wish all of this away. Maybe that was what Lreav had intended all along – to break down my defence. But right at that moment, I honestly didn't care.

He wanted me to ask, I could tell. Spira, _I _wanted me to ask. Maybe – maybe knowing the answer would give me a shred of sanity to cling to while I waited to be rescued. And it couldn't hurt … could it?

So … "Who's Juyane?"

Lreav just looked at me. My words hung between us and I suddenly had the irrational urge to stuff them back into my mouth.

"Juyane … was the mother of his child."


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** As usual, this chapter is horrendously late. However, it is an important exposition chapter, so hopefully the wait will have been worth it. If anyone's still reading this story, please review and let me know what you're thinking ;)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Seventeen: Gippal_

* * *

Two days later and all I had managed to discover was a list of places that Elhandra had been, but no longer was.

It was frustrating. No scratch that; frustrating is when the team you've put money on loses at Blitzball. This was so far beyond that I don't even think they've invented a word for what I was feeling. One dead end after another, hour after _pmuuto _(bloody) hour. Elhandra had been busy in the month's following Lreav's death. A quick CommSphere call to Bikanel Island had established that she hadn't been there for weeks but the beyond that, no one seemed to have any idea where she'd gone.

I paced moodily on the _Melatha's _deck. Behind me, the newscast on the CommSphere droned on, recycling the same material that had been dominating the airwaves for the last few days. It was stupid really; I'd switched the damn thing on hoping to hear some snippet of information about Elhandra. But of course, there was only one story that the public was interested in hearing about right now.

" … _disturbing news. As our viewers are aware, the long-awaited marriage of High Summoner Yuna was due to take place sometime over the last few days. However, reports are now surfacing that not only did the wedding not take place, but that the Lady herself has not been seen since that day …"_

I shivered and blamed the cool, metallic interior of my ship. I just felt so … empty, this ship of mine. So completely devoid of life. Of hope. I knew how it felt. For a moment I regretted striking out on my own. It wasn't too late; I could turn around and head back to Luca, fill Tidus and Cid in on what I'd discovered.

As soon as the idea entered my mind, I rejected it – just as I'd rejected it the previous ten thousand times. Because when it came down to it, all of this mess, this pain, this fear … it was _my_ problem. It had always been about me, from Lreav all the way along the line to Elhandra, and there was no way in this lifetime that I was just going to sit back and let someone else sort out the mess for me. It was my responsibility. Elhandra was going to be stopped and I was going to be the one to do it. Because I could reach her. Because I knew her. Because I could make her see, I could make her understand that -

_That what?_ The annoying little voice in my head asked. I was struck by how much like Cid it sounded. _That you're not worth all this time and energy, boy?_

"That doin' this ain't gonna bring Lreav back," I snapped.

The words echoed hollowly around the interior of the ship, but there was no one but me there to hear them. I sagged into the pilot's chair and groaned. I made it sound so simple. Take the _Melatha_, find Elhandra, rescue Yuna and Rikku. Job done. Hell, if words could solve all the world's problems then they'd be signing me up write speeches for Lady Yuna. Bitter experience had taught me that solving this kind of situation wasn't going to be as simple as that.

"… _So far these reports remain unconfirmed as neither Praetor Baralai, nor Meyven Nooj have been available for comment – although the lack of information about Lady Yuna's whereabouts lends credence to the alarming rumours that she has been kidnapped …"_

A laughing face flashed into my mind. Rikku … Spira, I'd been purposely avoiding thinking about her. Every time I did, every time my mind drifted, I started imagining what Elhandra was doing to her. As much as I wanted to believe that the Al Bhed woman wouldn't go so far as to hurt Rikku or Yuna, my imagination had quite another opinion. And with nobody but myself for company, my imagination was beginning to work overtime.

I had to be missing something. Some link. Some connection that would tell me where Elhandra had gone after leaving Bikanel Island. The most the Al Bhed on the other end of the CommSphere had been able to tell me was that it had been almost a month ago and she had left in a 'hurry'. That fact alone struck me as weird, I mean, what had she been doing for four weeks? Setting all of this up? Waiting for the perfect moment to strike? But then Yuna's wedding hadn't been announced two months ago, so how could she have known …?

" … _Such a blow could not have come at a worse time. Spira is still struggling to recover from the bombings that decimated Kilika and Guadosalam several months ago and without Lady Yuna's guidance, there are fears that the rising anti-Al Bhed sentiment will lead to civil war …"_

Suddenly furious, I lashed out. A box of empty spheres went flying across the bridge, some shattering, others careening wildly across the deck. What was I _doing _here? Nothing but wasting time. I had to get out there, speak to people, find out where she'd gone. I had to work it out.

_Rikku's counting on me_.

I stalked over to the CommSphere network and punched in the connection to Djose Temple. Yesterday I'd been greeted with an empty screen all day long – which had raised slightly worrying questions about what was going on there in my absence. This time, Nhadala answered almost immediately, which made me suspect she'd been waiting for the call.

"Gippal – thank Spira."

Her obvious relief surprised me. "What's up?"

"Have you seen the news?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "It's really getting out of control here. We've had protesters since the first broadcast and they're only growing in number. There's got to be a couple of hundred out there now and they're not going away."

"What are they protestin' against?"

"Against the Al Bhed – Gippal, where in Spira have you been? It's been the only thing showing on the news networks for the past three days!"

"I've been busy tryin' to put an end to all of this. Listen, Nhadala, have you heard from Elhandra recently?"

She stared at me as if I'd suddenly grown a second head. "Elhandra?"

"Yeah, I really need to find her."

"What you need to do is come back to the temple! Do you realise how serious this is? They've surrounded us – boxed us in –"

"Where is she?"

"Gippal, are you even listening to anything I'm saying?"

"_Damm sa frana cra ec_!" (Tell me where she is!)

Nhadala's eyes hardened. "Fine. She isn't here, is that what you wanted? And she hasn't been here. In fact, I haven't seen her since she left Home and right now, I don't care _where_ she is."

I was barely listening. "There was a message – she contacted me and she left a message."

"Gippal –"

"I need that message. Can you send it to me?"

"You're not coming back?"

I shook my head. "I have to find Rikku and Yuna."

"You can't just leave us like this!"

"You can cope. I've got other things to worry about, okay? Just send me the message." I cut the connection.

So much for Nhadala being a capable leader. One little sign of trouble and she was falling apart. Couldn't I rely on _anybody_ these days? Maybe I should have recalled Treilad from Bikanel rather than leaving the Machine Faction in the hands of someone who obviously had some responsibility issues. What did she think I was going to do, drop the investigation because a few Spirans have decided that Al Bhed are evil incarnate? It's not as if we haven't lived with that opinion before. Hell, we all grew up like that thanks to _pmuuto_ Yevon and his _pmuuto_ machina-is-evil-and-therefore-all-Al-Bhed-should-be-hunted-down-like-dogs spiels. Surely after all this time, Nhadala had learned to cope with a few negative opinions of our people.

The only thing that stopped me from dialling the temple back up and ordering Treilad home was the fact that the CommSphere began flashing. Nhalada had done something right at least and Elhandra's message had finally reached the _Melatha_.

I sank into the command chair and brought the recording up. For a moment the screen crackled blackly and then an image swam into view. It showed a very familiar woman, sitting on the floor in a frustratingly nondescript room. By the unsteadiness of the recording, she was using some kind of handheld camera. She looked exhausted, her normally tanned skin pale and sallow and her hair a tangled mess.

"_Gippal – it's me, Elhandra. I … I don't know what to say. I wanted to speak to you in person but – you weren't there and I … I don't know what else to do now. I'm sorry. I tried to stop it – I tried to warn you, but now I don't think you're going to get this in time so it's pointless anyway. I shouldn't have taken so long to contact you but I – I guess I thought I could handle it. I didn't realise how far he – It was _my _responsibility and I didn't want to get anyone else involved. But now there's you and Rikku … I don't know what's going to happen next. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness, and your aid. Help me, Gippal. Please._"

Help her? Of all the potential messages I had been expecting from Elhandra, this hadn't even made the list. What in Spira's name did she need my help for? Unless – unless she _wanted _me to stop her. That kidnapping Rikku was something she felt she had to do, but didn't want to. That she was driven to avenge her brother but really wanted nothing to do with him and his troubles. It sounded crazy in a cathartic, emotion-releasing kind of way. But in that case, why warn me before the event had even taken place?

"_I don't know where I'll be in the next few weeks. Wherever I need to go I suppose to try and – to put things right. But I have a portable CommSphere with me at all times._ _Just direct the call to frequency 89487133 and you'll be able to get in touch with me. And Gippal, I know I should have told you about this earlier but I was just so happy for everything to be back to normal that I didn't want to mess things up again -"_

I cut the message off, heart pounding.

* * *

Elhandra … wanted my help.

No matter how many times I turned that thought over in my mind, it wasn't starting to make any kind of sense. Why – _why_ – would she ask for help from the guy whose girlfriend she'd kidnapped? There was obviously something else going on here, but every scenario I came up with was more ridiculous than the last. I stared at the silent CommSphere. I replayed the message. I threw myself back into the pilot's chair and kicked my feet up onto the metal bar in front.

It took me all of ten seconds to decide to call her back.

I entered the numbers she'd given me and sat back. Knowing Elhandra, she'd given me the wrong code. Maybe this was a test – something I had to puzzle out and if I didn't, I wasn't going to find Rikku and Yuna.

The screen crackled in to life. I frowned. No Elhandra, but a connection had definitely been established with someone. Someone who was … moving the sphere on the other end? There was a definite sense of movement, but the picture itself was so dark that I couldn't make anything else out. Just an unsteady motion – like the CommSphere was swaying back and forth.

"Elhandra?"

Nothing. No surprises there.

I tried again. "Elhandra?"

Still nothing. Maybe the CommSphere was broken? _Or she's playing with you_. Now the voice sounded like Paine – thick and scornful.

"Last chance." I was lying of course. If Elhandra was on the other end of this connection somewhere then she knew where Rikku was. There was no way I was going to be satisfied with silence.

"Elhandra!"

A flash of colour disrupted the darkness. The picture titled crazily and when it straightened again I found myself staring into a familiar pair of green eyes.

I jumped. Seeing her up close – seeing her so desperate and ill – it was startling. I've known Elhandra for years and years and I've never seen her looking anything except perfectly groomed. The events of the last several days had taken their toll on her. Would I look so rough if I looked in a mirror?

"Gippal? Spira, it _is_ you isn't it? _Finally._ After I've been trying to get in touch with you –"

"Where is she?" I interrupted, leaning forward and bracing my hands on my knees.

The CommSphere swung upwards again, sliding out of focus and then returning to frame Elhandra's face. "I don't –"

"Don't you _dare_ stand there and tell me you don't know! I know you've got her, Elhandra, and d'you know what? I don't even _care_ why. I just want her back."

Her eyes widened. "What are you – I didn't take Rikku!"

"_Don't lie to me_."

"I'm not! I didn't take her!"

"You were at the hotel, Elhandra."

"I – " She choked on the words. "I was too late. And I tried to warn you, but you didn't get my message did you? I'm sorry –"

"You're sorry? You kidnap my girlfriend and you're _sorry_?" I wanted to grab hold of her matted hair and tear it out of her head. "Where is she?"

"No, I didn't –"

"Where is she?" I yelled.

"I don't know!" She was on the verge of tears. "I honestly don't know, okay? He said – he said he was going to call me, but he hasn't and I -"

"Who? Who are you talkin' about, Elhandra? Your mysterious accomplice, the guy that helped you carry my girlfriend's _unconscious_ _body_ outta the hotel room? How much d'you have to pay him to help you kidnap Rikku?"

"It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all! He wasn't a stranger –"

"Someone you knew? Oh, even better. Tell me, did you actually pay him money or did you get him to help you be servicin' him in _other_ ways?"

"I didn't pay him anything!" she shouted. "I was trying to _stop_ Lreav!"

Lreav.

I stared at her blankly. Lreav? But of course, it made _perfect_ sense! There it was – the answer to the question. The missing piece of this whole messy saga.

There was just one little problem.

"Lreav's dead."

"No," Elhandra whispered.

"He died," I repeated flatly. "I saw him fall a thousand feet into the jungle. He's dead, Lhan."

"He survived."

"He jumped off the top of Kilika Temple, Lhan! He can't possibly have survived that fall."

"He did. And came back, Gippal. Almost a month ago."

I stared at her. I didn't want to believe her – to believe such a crazy claim. It really was insane. Lreav was dead. He'd died that day, stepped out of life and left me to pick up the pieces that he'd left behind. That Elhandra was claiming he was alive … it was impossible.

_And yet we never found his body._

"I – I tried to help him but he wouldn't listen. He was …. Obsessed. He couldn't let it go and I – I couldn't stop him. So then I tried to warn you, but _you_ wouldn't listen either –"

"Wait." I held up a hand. "Are you tryin' to tell me that you knew all of this was gonna happen?"

"I didn't know he was going to take Yuna – it was never about her."

"But it was about Rikku."

The look she gave me was almost pitying. "It's always been about Rikku."

_We never found his body. And Lhan's story … it's so mad it almost has to be true. She's his sister … even after everything that's happened, I don't think she'd lie about something like this. Lreav's death – what we thought was his death – it upset her, but I didn't make her unbalanced. I would have heard, if it had … wouldn't I?_

_Not if you were too wrapped up in Rikku, you wouldn't_, the voice remarked calmly, in it's best Baralai-esque tone.

So that was it, was it? I had two choices. Either Elhandra had lost her mind somewhere between her brother's death and Yuna's wedding, or she was telling me the truth and Lreav wasn't quite as dead as everyone believed.

I didn't know how I felt about that. Pity, probably, for both of them. For the life that Lreav had thrown aside in his desperate quest for revenge. For the unfortunate events that had lead him down that path.

But I felt anger too. Fury that I couldn't just put Lreav behind me and get on with my life. That he was committing so many horrific acts in the name of his dead mother. That he was hurting everyone around me because of something that had happened when I was a kid.

I realised then that I'd already made my choice between Lhan being crazy and Lreav being alive. And it felt like the right one too; everything that had happened made more sense when I knew that Lreav was involved. And Lhan … watching her now as she waited for me to respond, I knew she wasn't crazy. And I'd always been able to trust her.

I looked back at the CommSphere. "I think it's time you told me everythin'."

Elhandra narrowed her eyes. "That's what I've been _trying_ to do for the last few weeks."

I held back a sharp retort. The last thing we needed to do was argue. "Well I'm listenin' now."

She held my gaze for a moment and then nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "I was … I went back to Bikanel Island, I think to try and reconnect with my life. To move on. And things were okay for a while. I was even – well, I could see myself returning to the Machine Faction eventually." She smiled wanly. "I was on the verge of calling you when … Lreav came to see me. He just – appeared one day. I thought I was going crazy – cracked under the strain or something. But he was real, and he was there … and it was wonderful."

"Why didn't you turn him in to the authorities? Or, you know, _tell_ _someone_?"

She just looked at me. "Because he's my brother, Gippal. And I love him, despite – well despite everything. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, give him a chance to change. Give _us_ the chance to be close again." Her voice dropped. "I really needed him to love me."

She was lonely. And even though I wanted to, I couldn't fault her for that. I knew what it felt like better than most. "I think he does, Lhan. Love you, I mean."

"Just not enough. And nowhere near as much as he loves Rikku." Her expression twisted. "Everything always comes back to her, doesn't it? All the men in my life … they always love her just that little bit more."

"That's hardly Rikku's fault." I jumped to her defence.

Elhandra smiled bitterly. "And there's my proof. You see, I knew how Lreav would react when he found out about your relationship with Rikku, so I … I didn't try to hide it but I – well I didn't say anything either."

I could see where this was going. "So when he found out it was ten times worse, yeah?"

"I've never seen him so angry. So out of control. I really thought he was going to – " She broke off, blinking rapidly.

I leaned forward. "What did he do, Lhan?"

"Left. In the middle of the night, without a word. I should have expected it really, but I just …" She shook her head, braids falling forward and obscuring her face. "I think I knew then what he was capable of. So I tried to call you but … you wouldn't take my call."

My mind flashed back four weeks. The bridal party arriving at Djose Temple. The conversation with Rikku about her dress; the argument with Cid and … the CommSphere call. The CommSphere call from Elhandra that I'd been too busy fighting with Cid to answer. Damn the man – if he hadn't been so obsessed with my relationship with his daughter, all of this could have been avoided!

"They told me you were busy, so I recorded the message in the hope that you would listen to it." She laughed, a harsh sound that grated on my ears. "Somehow I didn't think it would take you four weeks to get around to it."

I wanted to explain that I'd been busy with the wedding, but that just sounded like an excuse. The truth was, I'd completely forgotten about the message until I'd showed Amea that picture of Lhan. I opened my mouth to apologise, to admit I'd screwed up … and then I closed it again. What could I say, anyway? Words can't change something that's already happened.

"It wasn't a completely wasted call though … the young man I spoke to, Freelan? He told me about the upcoming wedding of the High Summoner. And I knew – I knew that an opportunity like that would delight Lreav." She took a handful of braids back behind her ears and sighed. "I thought … if I just catch up with Lreav, then I can make him change his mind. I can take him away from everything and look after him until he's better. So I tried to find him. I had those weeks before the wedding, it couldn't be too difficult could it? I thought – I was _sure _– that I could make him stop."

"I forgot how clever he is." The look in Lhan's eyes made me want to reach across the miles between us and give her a hug. "He – I couldn't find him. I just ended up following him everywhere. To Mount Gagazet, to Bevelle, to Luca … when I got to the hotel that the Lady Yuna was using, he'd already taken them."

I frowned. "Rikku and Yuna were already gone when you arrived? But we know that Lreav had an accomplice – we assumed it was you."

"It's nice to know you had so much faith in me. But no, I was there to stop him, not help him. I told the girl at the reception desk that I was Lady Yuna's bridesmaid – I knew just enough details about the wedding to convince her." It was Lhan's turn to frown. "Wait a minute, why didn't she tell you about me? When I found that Lady Yuna – and Rikku – had been taken, I came back downstairs and told her to fetch some kind of help. Then I went after Lreav."

"Your brother's clever." I said it with only a trace of irony. "He used dream-dust on the girl. She barely remembered seein' you."

"Dream-dust," Elhandra shook her head. "Spira, he really does think of everything, doesn't he?"

It was time to ask. I'd been as patient as I could and now I had to know. "Lhan," I said slowly. "Where' s he taken Rikku and Yuna?"

"I don't know. No – just listen." She held up her hands. "I don't know, for sure. Lreav's had a number of different hideaways that he's used over the last few weeks. I've been to most of them already, but there's one up near Bevelle that I haven't checked yet. It's an old warehouse that our father used to own. I hadn't thought of it before, but it's on the outskirts of Bevelle and if I … if I was going to hide something, I'd hide it there."

"Where are you?"

She looked suspicious. "Why?"

I took a deep breath. "Lhan … I need your help. You know where to look – I don't. And you know Lreav better than anyone. So I guess it comes down to this: are you gonna help me stop your brother before he hurts anyone else?"


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Another chapter for you - enjoy :)

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Eighteen: Rikku_

* * *

Child.

Mother of his child.

Of Gippal's child.

Juyane … was the mother of his child.

_Was _the mother? Not _is_. Was the child – was Juyane –

A child.

A walking, talking, breathing human being.

Fathered by Gippal.

And Juyane.

Baby – infant – youngster –

Child

And out of the confusion, one plaintive question:

… Why hadn't Gippal told me?

I didn't realise I'd asked the question aloud until Lreav answered it.

"Because he's a _vemdro moehk lufynt _who likes to kill people." (filthy lying coward)

"Juyane's dead?"

He just looked at me.

_Of course she's dead – it seems to be a common theme where Gippal's concerned._

The bitter thought surprised me. Was Lreav's unending hatred of my boyfriend starting to get to me? Or was it simply because there was yet another thing in Gippal's past that he'd conveniently forgotten to tell me?

How could Gippal have failed to mention that he had a child? A living and breathing part of himself, floating around somewhere out there in Spira. It's not the kind of thing you can accidentally forget, you know? And okay, it wouldn't have been the easiest thing to tell me, but I would have understood. Spira knows there are some things that happened in my past that I'm not proud of, but if they've been important, I would have told him. That's what being in a relationship is all about – you bare your soul and trust that the other person won't break it into tiny little pieces.

"How did she die?"

"It was – difficult. The shame. Having to cope with everything alone –" Lreav folded his hands in his lap. "The pressure was so much …"

"So she ... she what? Spira, did she – did she kill herself?"

"I think she would have done, yes."

Oh Spira, Gippal – what the hell had you done? I wrapped my arms around my stomach. That sick feeling was back and although the room was freezing, I felt hot and ill. Lreav sprang up off the bed as I fell against the wall. He held my hair back and supported my weight as I vomited miserably onto the floor.

"How – how could this happen?" I gasped. "How could I not know?"

"Most Al Bhed don't." Lreav guided me back towards the bed. "It's a closely guarded secret." His mouth twisted. "It wouldn't do for our people to know that one of their beloved leaders wasn't as white as they believed."

"I can't believe … he didn't tell me."

"Oh, Rikku." His arms were around my waist. "Don't you see? This is why I brought you here! Because this is what he does – he lives to hurt people. To let them down. I couldn't bear for that to happen to you. If you had followed Juyane …"

"I would never have done that," I whispered – but how could I be sure? To be pregnant and alone … I shivered and Lreav's arms tightened in response. He felt too close now; I stiffened and he drew back.

"Rikku?"

"I – " His arms were around. His face was so close I could see the swirls in his eyes. It was all wrong; Gippal was the one who was supposed to be holding me like this – comforting me. Not a stranger. Not Lreav.

I twisted out of his grasp and started pacing up and down at the foot of the bed. The room seemed to be shrinking; it was difficult to breathe. And all the time I was aware of Lreav sitting on the bed, watching me. And Gippal …

I stopped in mid-stride and whirled to face him. "I want to know what happened."

"Rikku, I don't think –"

"When was it?"

"Rikku –"

"How old was he? No wait, how old was she? When did she die?"

"I'm not sure that you should –"

"Don't make my decisions for me!" A tear crawled down my cheek and I wiped it away furiously. "I _need_ to know."

He held up his hands in a placating manner. "Come and sit down."

"I've been sitting down for too long. I want to move." I started pacing again. "This room's too small."

"I'm sorry."

_You should be_, I thought. _But not as sorry as Gippal._ "I don't want your apologies. I want to know what happened."

"I don't know everything."

"I'm beginning to think you don't know anything at all." I whirled around. "Who was she? Who was Juyane?"

"She was … a girl. A very beautiful, very caring girl." Lreav's face darkened. "And then she met Gippal."

He made Gippal sound worse than Vegagun, worse than Sin even. With everything I was learning recently, I was inclined to agree with him.

"They had a … _relationship_." Coming out his mouth, the word was twisted and bitter. "The result of which was a child. A poor, defenceless, _unwanted_ child."

That sick feeling was back. I kept picturing babies in my mind, babies with Gippal's features, or his stupid hair. The problem was, the images were incomplete. What had Juyane looked like? Brown hair, or blonde? Or had she been a redhead? With all of Gippal's past girlfriends, it was impossible to guess.

"There was an uproar," Lreav continued. "A scandal. They were too young, they weren't married … and then, rather than face up to what he he'd gone, Gippal abandoned Juyane and fled Bikanel Island like a coward."

So apparently there was a lot more to Gippal's decision to join the Crimson Squad than I'd ever known. Had Baralai and Nooj known about the baby? Had Paine? Had they all been laughing at me behind my back? Laughing at poor, stupid, _gullible_ Rikku?

"Juyane …" Lreav shook his head. "She never had the luxury of such easy decisions. She never had the luxury of making any decisions at all." His voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear him. "Both she and the baby died when Home was attacked."

I'd guessed, of course. After all, Lreav always chose his words carefully. He would never have referred to Juyane in the past tense if she'd still been alive. But hearing the words spoken aloud dragged them out of my thoughts and into the realm of reality. They made Juyane a living and breathing person. They made the baby more than just an ugly little secret.

They made Gippal a liar.

Somewhere at the back of mind, there was a niggle of doubt. I knew Lreav could be manipulative; I wasn't naïve enough to think he wasn't twisting the truth. But the problem was, I _knew_ Gippal. And I knew his reputation. There had been whispers; I'd ignored them of course, out of loyalty, but now they crept back into my mind like an insidious threads of smoke. And when you came down to it, whatever the facts of the matter, Gippal had lied to me. Not by what he'd said – but what he hadn't. A dead girlfriend and child was a pretty big thing to overlook … what else hadn't he told me?

I should have been angry. But when I tried to hold on to that flickering ember of fury, it slipped between my fingers. Truth was, I was exhausted. After everything that had happened, I had nothing left. No energy to feel any kind of emotion. No energy to push Lreav away as he stood up and moved back across towards me. I felt empty – devoid of anything even remotely resembling opinion or thought. Objectively, I knew that the man with his arms around me had shot my cousin. That he had killed countless people in his desperate quest for revenge. But instead of pushing him away, it was just so much easier to lean into his embrace. I was tired of fighting; I just needed someone to hold me.

Closing my eyes, I wasn't sure if I'd rather it was Gippal, or Lreav.

* * *

When I woke up the following morning, everything had changed.

Lreav was nowhere to be seen and I was glad. I was so confused. There were so many thoughts fighting for dominance in my mind that I thought I was going to go insane. But the one that kept bubbling to the top was that I felt dirty. Dirty and stupid and like I'd just made a huge mistake. How could I have let Lreav touch me like that? He'd shot my cousin, for Spira's sake! Yuna could have died by now and I'd spent the previous night being comforted by her murderer. Even the shock of learning about Juyane was no excuse, not really. Maybe for feeling mixed up about Gippal, but not about Yuna. How could I have been so _stupid_?

The door opened and I sat up slowly. Lreav had been gone for hours now and I'd had little to do but sit around, waiting for him to return. As he stepped through the door I could see why he'd taken so long: his arms were weighed down by a pair of brown paper bags. One he leaned against the wall. The other he handed to me.

I looked at it, then back at him.

"Open it."

He was smiling indulgently, like I was child who had just been given a birthday present. It made me uneasy, but there couldn't be anything wrong with just opening a bag, could there? I peeled it open slowly. Inside, neatly folded, was a full set of clothing, including underwear. A bright red and gold scarf topped the pile – it reminded me of the one I'd worn during the hunt for Vegnagun. But Lreav couldn't have known about that … could he?

I shivered and closed the bag. Lreav frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"No." He must have seen some kind of report on the whole situation; after all, those damn victory celebrations had gone on for months and there'd been plenty of media coverage. And Spira knows I'd liked wearing that scarf. _My lucky scarf. I wonder what happened to it? _"No, it's fine. Thanks."

"Rikku – " He sighed. "I want you to feel comfortable with me. I thought the clothes would help –"

"They do. They're great. Thanks." I looked down at the torn and bloodied bridesmaid dress and wondered how many days I'd been wearing it now. "It will be good to wear something different."

He followed my gaze. "You looked beautiful."

I didn't know how to take that from the man who'd caused the rips and blood splatters that dappled the dress. I busied myself with spreading the clothes out on the bed but when I looked up, Lreav was still watching me.

"I – I'm going to get changed now. Could you …?"

He didn't move.

"Lreav … please."

He lowered himself down onto the bed beside me and sat very still, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

I twisted away from him. "I've changed my mind. I think I'll just stay in the dress."

"Please Rikku, just let me see you."

The words were low and hoarse, and the way he was looking at me … the uneasy feeling grew. I pulled the right shoulder of my dress down slowly. Lreav's eyes fixed on the bare skin underneath. My hands were shaking so much that I lost my grip on the fabric.

"Don't stop."

I refused to give him the satisfaction. Turning my back, I snatched up the top that Lreav had provided for me and tugged it on over the dress. A bit of twisting and tugging later, the dress was around my waist and the tight red top safely in place. Lreav was silent behind me as I stood up and stepped into the skirt, pulling it up underneath the dress. Like the top, it was tight and kind of revealing – the sort of clothing I'd been happily wearing behind my Pops back since I was old enough to walk. Now though I just felt horribly exposed.

I folded the bridesmaid dress up and placed it carefully on the pillow. Lreav was still watching me – the sensation of his eyes running up and down the bare skin of my back was almost worse than being touched. I cast about for something to distract myself with.

"What's in the other bag?"

My voice sounded too loud in the silence of the room. Without waiting for an answer, I picked up the bag and rifled through it. Food and a full change of clothes. Two bottles full of water. Some hair ties, a packet of biscuits

"Are we going somewhere?"

He smiled. "Just a little journey."

His words did little to improve the sick feeling that was growing in my stomach. "A journey to where?"

"To our new lives."

I liked those words even less. Last night had changed more things that I'd realised. Lreav seemed so … different today. Focused. His eyes were always on me, and a smile was never far from his lips. It was like he'd made up his mind about something and I already knew I didn't want to find out what that was. I eyed the door over his shoulder. It was standing slightly ajar.

"Our … new life?"

"Yes, Rikku." He smiled again. "You didn't think we were going to stay here forever, did you?"

It had crossed my mind once or twice. So had the question about what Lreav was planning to do with me. I think I was about to find out the answer.

"I … I don't know."

"You did, didn't you?" He laughed fondly. "You thought we would make our new home here! Oh no, Rikku, I have somewhere much more warm and inviting picked out for us."

His tone of voice, the words he was saying, the way he was looking at me now … it made me feel worse than learning the truth about Juyane had. _This_ was Lreav's master plan? That we'd find some happy little hamlet somewhere and, what? Build our news lives together? Forget _me_ being insane – Lreav had completely lost his mind if he thought the previous night meant I was going to willingly go along with this.

"I hope it's somewhere nice," I said at last. "That you've picked out, I mean."

"Oh it is," he murmured, moving closer and taking the bag of food from me. "You'll love it."

I took a step backwards, my legs hitting the bed. "When will we be leaving?"

"As soon as you're properly rested." He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "How are you feeling?"

His fingers brushed my cheek and it was one of those split-second moments when you know you've got to make a choice. On the one hand, there was the threat of Lreav – his unpredictability, his violence, his terrifying master-plan. On the other hand, there was the door, standing open, barely a metre away and beyond it … Gippal.

_Juyane, the baby … why didn't he tell me?_

It wasn't really any kind of decision. I grabbed Lreav's arms and pulled him off balance, sweeping my leg out. He fell heavily, the bag of provisions scattering across the floor. I kicked a bottle of water out of the way and lunged for the door, fingernails scratching across the cold surface.

"Rikku?"

I looked back. He was sprawled on the floor, hair falling into his eyes and a look of absolute confusion on his face. Spira, he _was_ mad. And mad men, as experience had shown me time and time again, were dangerous.

Something in my face must have told him the truth. His eyes narrowed, his expression darkened and a snarl crawled across his lips. "_Rikku_!"

I slammed the door in his face and started running.

* * *

Turns out we were somewhere near Mt Gagazet. At least, it was a pretty safe assumption considering how much snow I was trying to wade through. And it would definitely explain the intense cold of the little house Lreav had kept me locked up inside. It was a clever move by him; there's was no one around who could help me, no friendly faces that I could turn to. Just a sea of white, a sea of freezing, blinding snow, making every step I took twice as hard. I'd faced the wilds of Gagazet before, and at the age of fifteen too. But now … now I was on my own. Now I was shaking with cold, I had no food and even worse, I wasn't even sure if I was moving in the right direction.

I'd only been walking for a few minutes when I heard the dull roar of an engine behind me. I turned around but I couldn't see anything through the blinding snow. Still, it didn't take a genius to figure out who was following me. And with the bright colours of my clothes I was going to stand out, even in a snowstorm.

There was no cover to be found and no time either; I'd barely moved before he emerged out of the whiteness. The hoverbike he was driving reminded me of the ones we used at Lake Macalania, back in Yunie's pilgrimage. Yet another piece of forgotten machina that I wished had stayed buried. Maybe Yevon had been right after all.

I didn't even try running. What was the point? I had nowhere to run _to_, and Spira knows I wasn't going to be able to outrun him. I had to hand it to Lreav – he'd really planned everything out. Sticking me in the middle of nowhere to isolate me; telling me the truth about Juyane to infuriate me; making me get changed in front of him to embarrass me. All designed to make me vulnerable and susceptible to his ridiculous plan.

Well I'd had enough.

He turned the machina off, letting it glide to a halt. Snow already coated his hair and clothes and he was visibly shivering as he approached me. "Rikku, what do you think you're doing? Running off like that – you could get both of us killed!"

"It's _over_, Lreav." I had to shout to be heard over the snowstorm. "Just let me go!"

"What are you talking about?"

"_This_." I waved my hand around wildly. "This ridiculous fantasy that you've invented. Did you _really_ think that I was going to just move in with you and that we'd live happily ever after?"

The snow obscured his expression but not his words. "But I – I told you the truth. The truth about Gippal. About Juyane! How can you forgive that?"

"Maybe I won't. But do you know what else I can't forgive Lreav? The fact that you shot Yuna and left her there to die. My _cousin_, Lreav!"

"She was in the way."

"In the way? _In the way_? You might have killed her, you _pycdynt_ !" I lunged at him, catching him by surprise and wrapping my hands around his throat. He twisted against me, his fingers clawing at my wrists. Blood started trickling down my arms, dripping onto the white snow. "You _pycdynt_! You _pycdynt_! You _pycdynt_!" (Bastard!)

He threw me off; pure physical strength winning over the element of surprise. "Stop it, Rikku. I don't want to hurt you!"

"Well I want to hurt _you_." I staggered to my feet but my eyes were on the gun at his belt. If I could only get my hands on it -

He backed away from me, holding his hands out. The look of confusion on his face only made me even more furious. It was like something was possessing me. I'd never felt so completely out of control, so completely at the mercy of my emotions. Why couldn't he see it? Why couldn't he understand? _Why couldn't he just get out of my life?_

I threw myself at him. He stumbled backwards, drawing the gun. "Rikku, you have to stop. Please don't make me hurt you. _I don't want to hurt you!_"

I kicked the gun out of his hand, following up with a blow to his stomach that made him double over. The gun disappeared into the snow and I dived after it. The shock of the freezing snow made me gasp. It was like being immersed in a pool of ice; blinding me, numbing my arms and legs. My hands flailed around weakly for the gun and I almost sobbed with relief when my fingers closed around the freezing metallic handle.

A hand seized the back of my top, yanking me upwards and almost off my feet. I hung onto the gun as Lreav dragged me backwards across the snow. I twisted and bit and scratched but his grip was like a vice. One arm wrapped around my waist, pinning me against his chest. The other grabbed for the gun.

Thrusting my hip out, I used Lreav's own weight to toss him to the ground. He almost dragged me down with him; I screamed as his fingernails ripped new rivulets along my wrist. Blood was streaming down my arm now, more blood than I'd ever seen in one place before. It was staining the snow crimson at a frightening rate.

I held the gun up. He met my gaze and in that moment, I'd never felt more alive. Never felt so in control. I had him completely at my mercy and it felt … it felt wonderful.

"Rikku," he whispered, the snowstorm stealing away his words.

Those pleading eyes, that innocent face … I was so _sick_ of it. So sick of the lies and the deceit and the betrayal. Of the pain and the secrets and the smug self-satisfaction. Of Gippal. Of Lreav. Of everything.

"Rikku … _please_."

Hand shaking, blood coating my arm, I lifted the gun and shot him in the head.


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Not much to say, apart from: I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what think!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Nineteen: Gippal_

* * *

We approached the warehouse cautiously. Elhandra said it had been abandoned since their father's death and with the months Lreav had had access to it, there was no telling what was waiting for us inside. One of the rear supports had completely rusted through years ago and the back of the building had collapsed. The rest looked secure enough but when I'd asked her about it, Elhandra had just shrugged.

She'd been quiet on the journey up to Bevelle. Weirdly quiet. I was so used to Elhandra being loud and confident, opinionated to the point of irritating, and flirting with me ever chance she got. This withdrawn girl, who jumped whenever I look at her, was a complete stranger.

Could I have stopped this, if I'd just listened to her? If I hadn't let her leave for Bikanel Island? If she'd felt she could come to me, when Lreav turned up on her doorstep?

Hindsight, as everyone always says, can be a pain in the ass.

I reigned my regret in and turned my attention back to the present. The warehouse was looming, huge and foreboding and Elhandra wasn't exactly in the frame of mind to make a good look out for booby traps. We skirted around the edge, taking care not to tread on any of the broken glass that littered the ground. Here, on the outskirts of the city, the beauty of Bevelle was little more than a memory. Buildings stood empty and neglected; the whole area was in desperate need of restoration. A throwback to the time of Yevon when the government cared more about hiding their dirty little secrets than the welfare of their citizens.

The entrance of the warehouse was a wide pair of double doors, the left hand one of which was standing slightly ajar. Elhandra lead the way inside, pausing just inside the doorway. "Wait a moment …" She scrambled for something in the dark and a moment later, the corridor flooded with light.

I blinked. "Impressive."

A ghost of a smile passed over her face. "Al Bhed technology at its finest."

"And it still works, after all this time?"

Elhandra didn't reply. She started down the corridor, looking left and right every few feet as if she expected someone to jump out at us. It didn't escape my notice that a machina gun had appeared in her hand.

The corridor was long, grey and very empty of anything resembling life. A handful of boxes were lying against the wall half way down, but they were so thick with dust that it was impossible to tell what was inside them. Elhandra ignored them, hurrying on until she reached a break in the corridor, where it was intersected with one running from left to right.

"Anythin'?" I called, bringing up to rear more slowly.

She shook her head. "Nobody's been down here in a while. But this place is pretty big …" She looked from left to right again and then started down the left hand path. I trailed after her, arriving at the intersection to find Elhandra almost out of sight. I couldn't understand why she'd chosen the left path – it looked identical to the right, curving gently away from me.

"Gippal? _Gippal_!"

Elhandra's cry drove me down the left hand path. I rounded the corner to find the corridor beyond empty. Whirling around, I called out, "Lhan?"

"In here."

A doorway. I backed up and stepped inside. The room was large and draughty – it looked like one of the main warehouse buildings. Thick metal struts supported the ceiling and there was a row of grimy windows on either side of the room. Some more boxes and even more dust. All very normal.

Apart from the body lying in the middle of the floor.

Elhandra was crouched beside the man, her fingers touching his neck. He was a thickset figure, with short, dark hair and a round face. Completely unremarkable, apart from the fact that his nose had obviously been broken recently and his chin was bloody.

"He's dead."

A dead guy in Lreav's warehouse. I wasn't even surprised anymore.

"What killed him?"

"He … he's been strangled."

"Let's see." I knelt down on the other side of the body. Blood stained the stone beneath him, but it was dry. He'd been dead for a while. As Elhandra had noticed, there was a thick length of rope wrapped around his neck. "Yeah, definitely strangled. See the colour of his face?" I sat back on my heels, thinking. "Do you think Lreav did this?"

"I … I'm not sure." Elhandra was playing with one of her braids, wrapping it around her finger and then releasing it again. The movement was repetitive. Hypnotic even. I found myself unable to look away.

"This man – I've seen him with Lreav," She released the braid abruptly. "I recognise him. His name's … it's – I can't remember. I can't – why can't I remember?"

Inwardly I sighed. "It's ok. It's not important."

"_Everything's _important!"

"Lhan, the guy's dead. Even if you could remember his name, it's not like he's gonna be tellin' us anythin'."

"But I've definitely seen him with Lreav." She studied the man's brutish features intently, as though she could learn something from them.

I rose slowly to my feet. Maybe this was Lreav's mysterious accomplice. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Someone had helped Lreav move Yuna and Rikku out of the hotel, and now I knew it wasn't Elhandra. A man with no name, no identity – he sounded like the classic 'gun-for-hire'.

"I wonder who killed him." Like a scab that you just can't resist picking, I raised the question again. Stupid really – it's not like we didn't already know the answer.

Elhandra stood up and brushed the dust off her knees. "We don't know it was Lreav."

She was quick to defend him, even now. A reflexive action resulting from months of trying to excuse Lreav's increasingly destructive behaviour.

"Come on Lhan, who else would just leave a body lyin' around in your da's warehouse?"

She glared at me, but there was no power behind her anger. She knew I was right. Lreav didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to preserving human life and he'd already shown that where Rikku was concerned, he would go to any lengths.

"It doesn't matter who killed him. He's dead, isn't he? It's like you said – we can't learn anything else from him."

I could stand here arguing the point and wasting time, or I could let that one slide. I decided to let it slide. "Alright, let's keep lookin'."

The corridor outside was as empty as before and as we wound our way southwards, I got the sinking feeling that even if we searched the whole building the only thing we were going to find was the stranger's dead body. Endless stagnant hallways and rooms packed with decaying boxes.

"What was your da doin' with all this stock anyway?" I picked up a faded ration bar and turned it over in my fingers. "Plannin' to corner the market on campin' supplies?"

Elhandra stopped, her back to me. "It was for the Al Bhed. A safeguard against Sin. In case … in case Home was ever destroyed."

My stomach twisted. If Yuna hadn't finished Sin off so quickly after Home had been raised to the ground, this warehouse probably would have seen a lot more use. Maybe I should be grateful for all the dust and decay.

"Gippal? _Gippal_!"

The urgency in her tone grabbed my attention. I glanced back; Elhandra was standing at the mouth of yet another narrow corridor. I couldn't see what she was looking at, but the expression on her face was enough to make me start running.

I skidded around the corner and pulled up short. A pair of metal doors stood at the other end of the corridor, bound by a length of solid metal links. And lying in front of them was a still figure in a white dress.

My mind went completely blank. I don't remember giving my body the order, but suddenly I was pushing Elhandra aside and sprinting down the hall, falling to my knees beside the body and pushing the girl's hair back so I could see her face.

"Rikku? _Rikku_?"

Dark hair spilled across my fingers and the realisation slammed its way into my numb mind.

_It isn't Rikku_.

No, not Rikku. But still a member of the same family.

"Is that –?"

"It's Yuna." I brushed her hair back out of her face. Her eyes were closed and when I leaned closer, I couldn't feel any breath on my cheek.

"Lady Yuna – _no_! Lreav, he – he wouldn't. He just _wouldn't_!"

I ignored Elhandra's words, my hands searching Yuna's body for any sign of an injury. It didn't long to find; the crimson stain spread out across her wedding dress from a central point – a small hole underneath her heart.

I swore blackly.

"What? What is it?"

"She's been shot."

_"Fryd_?" _(_What?)

"She's been shot, Lhan!"

"But – but she's Lady Yuna!"

"Somehow I don't think that mattered to Lreav." Yuna wasn't breathing and her skin was pale and clammy. Spira knows how long she'd been lying here. It could have been hours, but judging by the time frame Lreav was working with, it was more likely days. "Yuna? Yuna can you hear me?"

"We don't – we don't know that this, that Lady Yuna –" Elhandra took a deep breath. "We don't know it was Lreav."

"Are you _really_ that blind?" I grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her to the floor. "Look at her, Elhandra. _Look at her_. This is what your brother does to people. Deceives them, betrays them – and sometimes, you know, when he's in a bad mood? He likes to _kill_ them."

My words had hurt her, I could tell. But I didn't have time to worry about Elhandra's feelings. Yuna still wasn't responding, to either my words or my hands as they slapped her face. Pressing my fingers against her neck, I couldn't find a pulse.

"You got any potions?"

Elhandra blinked and then shook her head. "Nothing that will help a gun shot wound. Gippal … what are we going to do?"

I slid my arms under Yuna and lifted her into my arms. She was worryingly light. "Get her some help."

* * *

When you're in need of healing in Bevelle, there's really only one place to go. And it was times like these that it came in handy to have friends in high places. As soon as we got Yuna loaded into the Melatha and Elhandra was lifting us off into the air, I punched in the CommSphere connection to New Yevon and waited impatiently.

The screen flickered into life, revealing an unfamiliar woman who smiled pleasantly at me.

"Welcome to New Yevon. How can I help you?"

"Put me through to Baralai."

"I'm afraid the Praetor is currently unavailable. Can I be of assistance?"

"Look, I don't have time for this. I need to speak to Baralai. Now."

The woman's expression grew stern. "As I told you before, sir, the Praetor is not talking any calls at the moment. If you wish to speak to him, you will have to call back at another time."

I resisted the urge to smash my fist through the CommSphere. After all, the woman was only doing her job, even if she did have the worst timing in the world. "Tell him it's Gippal. The leader of the Machine Faction. He'll speak to me."

The woman frowned, uncertain. "He's told me he doesn't want any calls –"

Okay, the diplomatic route obviously wasn't working. Time to be blunt. "Put me through to Baralai or you're gonna have to death of Lady Yuna, the High Summoner and two-times saviour of Spira on your conscience."

The woman gaped at me. Whatever she might have said was lost in a sudden disturbance off-screen. The CommSphere rocked back and forth, and as it came back into focus, I realised the stern-faced woman had been replaced by an even sterner-faced Baralai.

"Baralai, thank Spira. Listen –"

"No, _you_ listen, Gippal. Where in Spira have you been? I know you've always been a loose cannon, but your behaviour this last week has gone from simple recklessness to outright stupidity. Do you know what's been happening while you've been off indulging yourself? Spira's been falling apart! It's all Nooj and I can do to stop the Al Bhed and the humans from going to war. I've had Nhadala on the CommSphere everyday – Djose Temple's been under siege, did you know that?"

I didn't have time for this. _Yuna_ didn't have time for this. "Baralai – shut up a second will you? You can yell at me later. Right now, Yuna needs your help."

He stilled. "You've found her?"

"Yeah. She's been shot. We're bringing her straight to you." I paused. "It's not lookin' good, Baralai."

"I'll make sure we're ready for your arrival." Baralai turned and spoke to someone off-screen. When he looked back at me, his eyes were as serious as I'd ever seen them. "Gippal, I don't know what's going on here, or what you've been doing, but you should know this: whatever the outcome with Yuna, you're going to have to answer for your actions lately. And not just to me."

I hadn't thought much past finding Rikku recently, but I was getting the distinct impression that Baralai had. And Nooj. And Nhadala – maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss her. But couldn't Baralai understand that Rikku was the most important thing, the _only_ important thing, and that there was no way in Spira I was just going to sit back and let Lreav kidnap her?

Behind me, Elhandra adjusted the _Melatha's _controls. "We're coming up on New Yevon."

I met Baralai's eyes again. He was waiting for my answer. "Understood."

Baralai nodded. "See you in a few minutes."

I cut the connection as Elhandra began preparing for our landing. Behind us, in the cabin, Yuna lay motionless, barely clinging on to the life. I didn't know what would happen if she died. Lady Yuna, the High Summoner – she was so much a part of Spira. So much a part of everyone's lives, whether they knew her or not. She was a leader and a friend. A cousin and a niece. A fiancé. Given what Baralai had said about the current unrest in Spira, news of Yuna's death could very well be the catalyst that plunged our world back into darkness. One more name on the ever-growing list of Lreav's victims. Seems he was on the verge of doing what Sin and Vegnagun couldn't: completely tear the world apart.

I found myself wishing I had something to believe in. Something like Yevon – the ideal I mean, rather than the twisted reality. Someone to pray to, to send wishes to; someone who I could believe was going to make everything turn out okay. Someone I could ask to make sure Yuna was going to be okay. Not just because I liked and respected her, but also because I needed her. Rikku was still out there somewhere – and so was Lreav. Yuna was the last link in the chain. She was the _only_ one who might be able to tell me where Rikku was. If she died …

Rikku could die with her.

* * *

True to Baralai's word, everything was set up and waiting by the time we reached New Yevon headquarters. They rushed Yuna away as soon as Elhandra and I had set foot inside the building, and the lack of Baralai's presence lead me to guess that he was seeing to her personally.

Elhandra and I stood around in the entrance for a while. I don't know about her, but I felt completely out of place. There was a distinct air of distrust coming from the New Yevon members that passed us. Sidelong glances, people giving us a wide berth – but even if they recognised me, it was unlikely they knew who Elhandra was. No, their reactions weren't down to _who_ we were. It was _what_ we were. Al Bhed, in the middle of one of the few remaining human strongholds in Spira. Seems Baralai might not have been exaggerating about how relations between my people and his had been disintegrating.

"Gippal?"

Elhandra, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. She was winding the braid around her finger again but her eyes were on the watching humans. "Gippal, what are we still doing here?"

"What d'ya mean?"

"I mean, why aren't we out there looking for – " She glanced around and lowered her voice. "Looking for Lreav. There's nothing more we can do here."

"I need to know that Yuna's okay. Besides, she might be able to help us."

"Even if she lives, she's going to be in no fit state to talk to us!"

"We can't just leave."

"Why not? We have to find Lreav! We have to stop him!"

I turned on her, anger bubbling up inside me. "And where is he, Lhan? Is this where you tell me you've known all along? Because as far as I can remember, that warehouse was our last lead."

"Of course I haven't known all along – how could you even ask me that?" Her hands had balled into fists and she looked like she wanted to hit me. "I just think we're wasting time here. I thought you _wanted_ to find Rikku."

"You know I do! But we don't know where to look next, do we? If Yuna can help us with that –"

"Gippal!"

I looked up. A whirlwind of blond hair was barrelling towards us across the atrium. Tidus. He looked awful; his face was drawn and pale and his clothes looked like he'd been sleeping in them for days. There was a wild, distracted air about him, and as he grabbed hold of my shoulders and demanded to know where Yuna was, his eyes were already roving around the room.

"Tidus. Tidus!" He dragged his attention back to me with difficulty. "She's in the back. Baralai's with her."

He was gone as quickly as he'd arrived, leaving Elhandra staring after him. "Who – ?"

"Yuna's fiancé," I said shortly, wondering if I should have said something else to Tidus. Something a bit more … comforting. Then again, he hadn't exactly given me a chance. And if it was Rikku lying in there, there's no way I'd be passing time in the atrium.

_No she's not lying in there. But she is _out_ there, somewhere. With a madman. So why the hell am _I_ passing time in this atrium_?

A hand slammed down onto my shoulder, startling me. The fingers tightened unpleasantly and before I could shrug the hand off, I was yanked around and a fist landed squarely in my face. I staggered backwards, wincing at the sting of the blow.

Hands closed around my throat, forcing me down onto the ground. As my brain scrambled to work out what was happening, my assailant thrust his red face in front of mine. I guess he wanted me to know who was strangling me.

"H-Hi, Cid."

"Ya selfish!" _Punch._ "Little!" _Punch._ "Bastard!" _Punch_. "I let ya help in my investigation and whata ya do? Disappear with the damn evidence!" His fingernails dug into the soft skin of my throat. "Next thing I know ma little niece is turnin' up half dead – and it's _your_ fault."

"Cid, release him. Now."

I've never been so glad to hear Nooj's dulcet tones. As much as I dislike Rikku's dad, I have to admit he's annoyingly strong.

Cid held on for a few more moments and then finally released me. I lay gasping on the floor like a fish as Cid rose to his feet and brushed past Nooj and Elhandra without a word.

"Geez," I wheezed. "Aint anyone pleased to see me?"

Nooj looked down at me, his face unreadable. It's always difficult to tell what the guy's thinking, but now his expression was carefully neutral, as if he was making an effort to hide his feelings. Whatever he _was_ feeling, it had to be pretty strong.

"I think you should get up, straighten yourself out and then come and wait with the rest of us."

Such a simple statement, but the sentiment behind it was unmistakable. Seems there was a third person who was going to want a piece of me when all this was over.

Nooj didn't wait around for my answer. As I clambered to my feet, he was already limping across the atrium. I smoothed my clothes down and looked around, feeling oddly self-conscious. Elhandra was standing a few feet away, studiously avoiding my gaze. Beyond her, members of New Yevon were whispering amongst themselves. One of them laughed, a sharp sound that rang out around the lofty atrium. My cheeks burned. Was she laughing at me?

"I think you should do what the Meyven suggested," Elhandra said quietly.

"And you?"

She shrugged. "There are a few places I want to try."

"Then I'll come with you."

"No." She held up a hand. "Meyven Nooj was right. Your place is here."

"My _place_ is wherever Rikku is." What was with Elhandra all of a sudden? "If you know where she might be –"

Elhandra smiled sourly. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

Did I trust her? Yes, of course I did. I had to. I needed her help and I told her as much.

The smile faded from her face. "Maybe. But you don't trust me with Rikku."

"Well you're not exactly her biggest fan."

"It wouldn't make any difference if I was. Come on, Gippal – you don't trust _anyone _with her!"

I opened my mouth to deny it, but the words got stuck somewhere in my throat as I realised … that she might actually be right. Was that why I'd decided to go after Rikku alone, because I didn't trust anyone else to find her? No – that was stupid. It was because I knew I was the best guy to find her, and that was the most important thing, wasn't it? It wasn't about trust, not really. It was about Rikku. I had to find Rikku.

"I'm coming with you."

Elhandra rounded on me. "Oh, _grow_ _up_, Gippal. This isn't a game! And you can't always play the hero, just because you want to! You might not trust me with Rikku, well that's fine. But trust me with Lreav. I want all this to end – for _his_ sake. Because he's ill and – and he needs my help."

"Lhan –"

"No, you're going to listen to me this time! Let me do this. No one will miss me here – no one's even given me a second glance. But you – Gippal, you can't just keep abandoning all of your responsibilities like this. What about our people? What about the Al Bhed? I heard what Baralai told you – open war, Gippal? Is that what you really want? Is that what _Rikku_ would want?"

"Of course not – now who's being childish?"

"I'm being _realistic_. You can do something to help the situation – I can't. But I can go and find Lreav, and Rikku, and I can stop him."

"Yeah, because you did such a great job of that last time."

She slapped me across the face. "You bastard_._ Do you think you're the only one who got hurt by this? The only one who _cares_? _I _care. That guy – Lady Yuna's fiancé? – I'm pretty sure he cares. Cid bloody well cares. And by the looks of it, Meyven Nooj and Praetor Baralai care just as much themselves. But you just had to make this all about you, didn't you? Spira, Gippal – open your eyes! The world is shaking itself to pieces. This is about so much more than just you and Rikku!"

My cheek was stinging from her blow and my conscience was smarting from her words. Anger began to well up inside of me, a reflexive reaction to her attack. What the hell was she talking about? She didn't know how I felt about Rikku. Who was she to tell me what I should and shouldn't do? She was the sister of a murder, a desperate, pathetic woman who had nothing left to cling to but the memories of a brother who no longer existed. What did she know about _anything_?

My hands balled into fists and I think I might have actually hit her except … except there was this look on her face. This look that said she was being completely honest with me because she had nothing left to lose. And that maybe, maybe it was time I started listening to someone other than myself for a change.

I didn't want to admit that she might be right. Because if she was … then answering to Baralai, and Nooj, and even Cid – well it was going to be uglier than I thought.

"Take the _Melatha_."

The words were out of my mouth before I'd had a chance to think them through probably. They were instinctive somehow, as if I knew it was the right thing to say.

Elhandra folded her arms across her chest. "Are you sure?"

_No, I've course I'm not sure. Do you actually think I _want_ to stay here when Rikku's still in danger?_ "I guess. Besides, I think Nooj will kill me if I try and leave."

She smiled weakly. "He did seem pretty angry."

I didn't want to think about Nooj. "I'd better go and see how Yuna's doin'. Find out of she can tell us anythin' useful." I sighed and ran one hand through my hair. "What about you?"

"I'm heading north. There's one more place …" She shook her head. "It's a long shot, but Lreav might have been there."

I nodded. "Guess you'd better go then."

"Gippal …"

"I need to check on Yuna."

I didn't look back as I strode away. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was doing what was expected of me, instead of what was right.


	21. Chapter Twenty: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Okay - this chapter took a long time to write, which explains why it's been a while since I last updated. Still, I think it's one of the most important parts of the story, so hopefully it will be worth the wait. Please let me know what you think - I don't normally ask for reviews but since I got hardly any feedback on the last chapter, I'm beginning to wonder if anyone is still reading this!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Chapter Twenty: Rikku_

* * *

I missed his head.

My hands were shaking so much that I ended up shooting him in the chest instead. Still, at such close range, the damage was done regardless. Lreav collapsed, clutching at the smoking hole just above his heart, his mouth open in a grimace of silent agony.

As he dropped into the snow, all the anger, all the rage, all the hate … it just faded away. Drained out of me like water from a sponge. And was replaced by absolute horror at what I'd just done. I'd just shot a man, in cold blood, without any regard for fairness or justice. Lreav had been unarmed and I hadn't even hesitated.

And now he was dying at my feet.

He coughed wetly onto the snow, dappling it with red flecks. I dropped the gun and ran to his side. "Lreav? Lreav, can you hear me?" I dragged his head up into my lap, stroking his hair back from his forehead. "Lreav?"

His eyes fluttered open and he coughed again. "Rikku?"

He sounded like a lost little boy. What had I done? What the _hell_ had I done? "Lreav, just – just lie still, okay?"

"I – I –"

"Just lie still."

He gasped and murmured something in Al Bhed. I reached down gingerly and tried to inspect the wound. He cried out as my fingers touched the raw, bloody mess. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

His blood coated my fingers, mingling with my own. The stain on the snow was growing bigger; I could feel it soaking into my skirt. Regret and guilt turned my stomach upside down and made me feel like I was going to vomit. How had it come to this? I'd taken lives before, but only when it had been absolutely necessary. Only when they'd attacked me first and there'd been no other choice.

There was no way I could justify what I'd done here. Shooting Lreav – _Spira, what had I been thinking_?

"Rikku …?"

"Yes?"

"Rikku …"

I could barely hear him above the wailing of the snowstorm. "Lreav, what is it?"

"I – I … I'm sorry."

I thought I'd misheard him. "What?"

"I'm – I'm sorry. For everything."

The guilt inside me swelled. A simple apology and I was completely undone. Did he know? Was this his last revenge? Or was he just admitting the truth, here at the end, when he had nothing else to lose?

I hugged him to my chest, rocking him backwards and forwards. A tear rolled down my cheek and dropped onto his hair.

"Do you – do you want to know a s-secret?"

"What?"

"A secret … the last secret."

"Lreav, don't try to talk."

"No I … I want to."

I shook my head, another tear falling. "You need to save your strength."

He smiled up at me. "You wanted to know the answer. I can – I can give you that, at least."

"Lreav, whatever it was, it doesn't matter now."

"Let me do this." He swallowed, pain rippling across his face. "It's about … how I'm here. How I – how I survived."

"You mean … Kilika Temple?"

"I … I was lucky. I truly … I had intended to die there. I couldn't – I couldn't see any other way …"

"Lreav," I interrupted, "what happened?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but coughed instead. Spots of blood sprayed across my top as a storm of coughing overtook his body. "Lreav?" He twisted in my arms, gasping for air. "Lreav, it's okay! Just – just try and relax, you know? _Please_."

The coughing subsided slowly. Lreav's breathing relaxed and his eyes fluttered closed. I didn't know if that was a good sign, but it had to be better than coughing up blood. "Lreav?" I touched his face gently.

His eyes opened again. "What … was I saying?"

"You were telling me how you survived the fall from Kilika Temple."

"Oh – yes." He seemed to be looking at something just over my shoulder; his eyes were unfocused and wavering. "I fell … for a long time. Hours and hours. Sometimes I think … I'm still falling. That I never reached the bottom. But then … I must have done, I suppose. To be here now."

"You stopped falling Lreav. You stopped." I patted the ground next to us. "See? You're lying on solid ground. Well, solid snow I suppose."

I don't know if he heard me. "I was looking forward to death but then – but then it was ripped away from me. And it hurt … it hurt so much. Crashing through sharp branches and spiny thorns. Breaking apart into a million pieces. Into a bright blue sea … a bright blue sea …"

It was almost ironic that this, the last unanswered question, had such a simple answer. "You fell through the jungle canopy. And the branches slowed your fall, didn't they? And then – and then you hit some kind of … water?"

"The water … the water saved me. Soothed away the aches and the pains and the promises and the lies …" Lreav's head lolled to one side. "I like the water. Can we go to the water?"

I pressed my hand against his forehead. Considering the fact that we were lying in icy snow, his skin was dangerously warm. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him up so that he was cradled against my chest. The wound was still bleeding sluggishly. I grabbed a handful of snow and pressed it against the bloody mess. Lreav cried out and fought my hands. "No, no don't fight me, Lreav. I'm trying to help you! I'm trying – I'm trying …"

What was I trying to do? The wound that I had inflicted on this man; the shot that I had fired – I couldn't take it back. And I could pack it with as much snow as I wanted, but it wasn't going to change anything. I had no potions, no magic, nothing. Nothing but a machina weapon, a blizzard and the man who'd shot my cousin, bleeding to death.

_This is all my fault._

"Rikku?"

_Spira, what have I done?_

"Rikku … I can't feel my legs. Do you know where they are?"

_What have I done?_

"I – I've lost them. All of them. All … everything. Did you know? Rikku? Did you know?"

_Did I know? Did I know that it would end like this?_

"Rikku?"

_Did I know that I would do this?_

"I'm scared, Rikku. I can't feel … anything. Will you hold my hand?"

The childlike request brought fresh tears to my cheeks. I hugged Lreav and took his cold fingers in mine. His whole body was trembling now and his breathing was becoming ragged.

"Rikku?"

"I'm here, Lreav."

"Rikku – I'm scared."

"I know. I'm here with you."

"You won't leave me this time?"

I was crying freely now. "No, I won't leave. I promise."

"What about … what about Gippal?"

"I don't think he'll mind."

"Hate him."

"I know."

"Always have."

"I know."

"You love him."

My heart felt like someone was tightening a steel band around it. "Yes."

"Why couldn't – why couldn't you love me?"

"Oh, Lreav." I pressed my lips against his hair.

"Love you."

"I know."

"Hate him. Does he – does he know?"

"Yeah. I think he does."

Lreav smiled. "Good. Rikku?"

"Yes?"

"Rikku?"

"I'm here."

"Rikku – hate him."

"I know you do, Lreav. I know."

"No – _you_. _You_ hate him."

"I …" A hundred thoughts flashed through my mind. "I can't. I can't, Lreav, I'm so sorry. I just – it wouldn't be true, you know? Even after everything. And I don't think I should – I don't think I should lie to you. Not here. Not when you're … Lreav?"

I looked down at his face. His eyes were open, the swirls in his pupils just visible. His mouth was closed, a faint smear of red at the corner. His skin was pale.

"Lreav?"

He looked so small and fragile. Like someone had broken him into a million tiny pieces. It took more than one bullet hole to cause something like that, didn't it? Much more. A lifetime more. Events someone could catalogue when they tried to understand how Lreav had reached this point. My actions were just the end of the chain. The missing piece. Inevitable really.

I desperately wanted to believe that. But as I held Lreav's dead body in my arms, and rocked him back and forth, I just didn't.

* * *

I think some part of me wanted to die there too. Or maybe some part of me actually did – I'm not sure now. I felt so … empty. Like there was nothing left. No feeling; no emotion; no strength. He was lying in my arms and it was like … it was like I couldn't feel him, you know? Like he wasn't really there. Like any minute, I'd wake up and realise that the last few weeks had been a horrible dream. Spira, I wanted that more than anything. No, I needed it. I needed this to be a nightmare. It _had_ to be. Because – because life couldn't be this hard, could it? It couldn't force you to make such awful decisions and then cast you aside into a snowstorm? After everything I'd done – helping to stop Vegnagun, and Sin before that – hadn't I earned some consideration? Yes, yes I had. Which meant that this – all of this – it just couldn't be true. He wasn't … and I hadn't … and we weren't here at all. Not here, not there. Not anywhere.

One of my braids had fallen into my eyes, distracting me, giving me something to focus on. But as I reached out to push it back, I noticed that my hand was trembling. No, not just trembling – full on shaking. Shaking so much that as my fingers brushed against the length of hair, it started dancing erratically. I couldn't get a grip on it. Why … why weren't my hands working properly? Why couldn't I … why couldn't I close my fingers?

I raised my hand again. The movement was sluggish and heavy, like I was watching it at half speed. Something like concern trickled back into my consciousness. This wasn't – this wasn't natural, was it? That I should feel so … very slow and … cold … so very, very cold … I couldn't remember ever feeling this cold before. Not even when – when I'd come here before. Here to Mount Gagazet. When – when … when had I come here before?

Why was I here now? Why … My mind felt as lethargic as my hands. Memories I should have been able to summon easily were slipping away, like wisps of smoke. . I _knew_ I'd been here before and yet – why couldn't I remember? Snowflakes swirled in front of my eyes, making me dizzy. There was only one constant out here in the snowstorm. A constant that I clung to, but one that sought to drag my mind down into the darkness.

Lreav. His weight, heavy against my legs. His still face, staring up at mine. An ever-lasting reminder that no matter what had happened last time on this mountain, this time … this time I had killed a man.

_I've just killed a man._

The tears had long since frozen on my cheeks, but the guilt ate away at me like acid.

_I look a gun and shot him. And killed him._

I tried to hang onto to the edges of my sanity; tried to convince myself that I hadn't had a choice, but really, wasn't it all just a lie? There's always a choice. Trying to maintain that there isn't is just a way of trying to excuse your actions.

_I had to kill him._

_I had no choice. _

_He was going to hurt me. _

_No choice._

_He hurt Gippal._

_There was no choice._

_He shot Yunie._

_I had no choice_

_He killed so many people._

_I couldn't let him do that again. I had no choice._

Excuses. They wrapped their dark tendrils around the guilt and the combination of the two threatened to choke me.

_I'm a murderer._

You could paint it however you wanted, but Lreav was dead and I had pulled the trigger. I couldn't even justify why I'd done it. It hadn't been for Yuna, it hadn't been for Gippal – it hadn't even been for the people of Spira whose lives Lreav had torn apart. It had been all for me. Every last thread of hate and fear and anger. It had all come from me. I'd just wanted it all to go away. My selfish need for revenge and absolution had made me a murderer.

"I killed a man."

The wind stole my words away, casting them down the mountainside, but the sentiment remained. And the gulf it was tearing open inside of me was almost more than I could bear.

I started rocking back and forth, hands pressing against my ears to try and block out the sounds of the storm. I was so cold now that I'd stopped shaking. In fact, the bare skin of my arms and legs was prickling with a fiery heat. The small remaining lucid parts of my mind pointed out that this wasn't a good development, but I couldn't find the energy to care. Images of Lreav, alive, smiling, sharing a joke, danced in front of my eyes. My guilt gave him life, twisting the memories into weapons that stabbed at me like needles. I couldn't escape him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

Maybe this was all for the best, you know? Me and Lreav, buried beneath a layer of snow, where no one would ever find us. At least then no one would ever no the truth about what I'd done. How far I'd fallen in my quest for revenge.

" – _kku_?"

Yes, maybe this was for the best. After all, who would miss me when I was gone? Yunie was probably dead already, and the baby with her. Pops and Brother – well, we weren't exactly close. Pops had never known what to do with a daughter and Brother – he'd been too busy with his own life to have much time for me. My friends, Paine, Lulu, Wakka …? We'd all grown up in a world dominated by Sin. You got used to losing people and moving on with your life.

_And Gippal?_

Gippal. Something like physical pain rippled through my body, momentarily eclipsing the ache in my frozen limbs. Of all the people in Spira I wished I could have five more minutes with, it was him. But not to say goodbye, no. I wanted to hear the truth about Juyane from his lips. I wanted to look into his eye as he was forced to admit that he'd been lying to me since we'd first got together. An old relationship that had ended badly – maybe I could forgive that. But a baby? An innocent, helpless child that he had abandoned? I felt like I was going to be sick. How could Gippal have done that to Juyane? How could he have done that to his own child?

I thought I'd known Gippal. More than most people, anyway. Maybe even more than Baralai and Nooj. And it hadn't been easy; it had taken work, and patience – neither of which I'm particularly good at. To have reached the end of all that; to have taken those terrifying steps from attraction to love, and to find out that it had all been based upon a lie … Had I ever really known Gippal at all?

"_Lreav_!"

I lowered my body down onto the ground beside Lreav's. The snow beneath my bare skin should have been freezing, but I could barely feel anything now except a growing sense of relief. I could close my eyes and all of this would just … fade away. Lreav, what I'd done, the pain and regret and anger. The guilt could have my soul – I no longer had any need for it.

My mind began to drift as I lay there. Would someone find us, I wondered, in a hundred years time? Would they look down upon our remains and wonder how we'd come to be die up here, all alone? Maybe it would the end of a great mystery – a legend finally laid to rest. Or more likely, we'd just be the discovery of some eager archaeologist. "Two strangers in the snow" – uncovered, catalogued but ultimately, forgotten. The thought almost made me smile; perhaps instead of ending one mystery we'd be the beginning of another. Lreav would probably like that.

"Rikku? Lreav? Can you hear me? _Answer me_!"

A voice, barely audible above the might of the storm. But no … who would be out here? More likely that the voice was inside my own mind. After everything that had happened, not even hearing voices in my head surprised me.

"Can anybody hear me?"

I opened my mouth to reply – to tell the voice to leave me in peace – but somehow, I just didn't have the energy. It was much easier to just lie there and watch the snowflakes spiralling down from the grey sky. One after another. Tireless in their quest to coat the ground with a pristine, white quilt.

One after another.

One.

After.

Another.

I was still counting them in my mind after my eyes had fluttered closed.

* * *

"_Lhan, what – is she here? Did you find her?"_

"_I found them."_

"_Where is – why aint she with you?"_

"_She's with the healers."_

"What_? Why?"_

"_She's pretty weak."_

"_What did that bastard do to her? Is she – she's not gonna –"_

"_I don't know."_

"_I need to see her. Where is she?"_

"_They won't let you in. They told me to wait outside."_

"_Yeah they told _you,_ but I'm – Cid, hey Cid! She's here. Lhan found her."_

"_What? Where? Where is she?"_

"_Hey, hey, I don't have – Cid!_

"Where is she?"

"_Get your hands off me and I'll tell you, you crazy –"_

"_She's with the healers, Sir."_

"_Healers? She needs healing - how bad is it? _How bad is it?"

" … _We don't know." _

* * *

"_Hey … maybe you should get some sleep, yah?"_

"_I'm not leaving her."_

"_Oh yeah, I guess not, huh. How … How is she?"_

"_There's been no change."_

"_Man … Tidus, I'm sorry."_

"_We were supposed to be married by now. On our honeymoon. Not sitting by her bed, waiting for her to die."_

"_You don't know that's gonna happen, yah?"_

"_Maybe this is my punishment. For being allowed to come back to this world. Maybe I have to lose Yuna."_

"_Now you're just bein' daft."_

"_Maybe. But how do any of us know what the Fayth had planned? I'm not even supposed to exist –"_

"_You gotta stop thinking that that! D'you think Yuna would want you to be all self-pitying? No! You gotta be strong, for her sake."_

"_Yeah, well maybe I'm tired of being strong. Maybe I'm tired of things like this always happening. We saved Spira, Wakka! We saved the whole damn world – and more than once too. Wasn't that enough to catch a break? Why does life keep kicking us down?"_

"_I don't know, man. I don't know."_

"_It's like … whenever I'm happy, something comes along to tear it apart."_

"_Tidus –"_

"_I can't lose her, Wakka. I just can't."_

* * *

"_We've got trouble."_

"_More?"_

"_Unfortunately. Some of my people – well, they've heard that Rikku has been brought here. She's a rather prominent Al Bhed figure and …"_

"_Not here too."_

"_I can speak to them – placate them for the time being. But with Cid and Gippal here too – Nooj, this is the headquarters of New Yevon. Very much a human movement. I fear my followers aren't going to remain patient forever."_

"_The eyes of Spira are upon us."_

"_And there's a great deal of anger. I fear that New Yevon is soon going to find itself at the centre of a firestorm."_

"_If only that damn terrorist – what was his name, Lreav? – if only he hadn't jumped to his death. At least then we could have had some kind of trial."_

"_I doubt even that would help now. The cracks are beginning to show and I don't know what we can do to stop it."_

"_You know who could though."_

"_Of course. But there's been no change. She's still unconscious."_

* * *

"_I hate this waitin'. Why won't they tell us what's goin' on? And why won't they let me in – Spira, what's takin' so long?"_

"_She'll be okay. She's _always_ okay."_

"_Yeah … yeah, you're right. A survivor, yeah? She'll be okay … Look, Lhan, I should thank you. For goin' when I couldn't. For findin' Rikku and bringin' her back –"_

"_Don't."_

"_But you saved her –"_

"_Just don't, okay? I didn't do it for you, Gippal. And I certainly didn't do it for _her_."_

* * *

"_How is she?"_

"_Same. No change."_

"_And Tidus?"_

"_I dunno, it's like – it's like he's giving up, Lu. I've never seen him like that. It makes me feel so …"_

"_Helpless."_

"_Ya. Like I wanna help them, but what can I do?"_

"_You can be there for Tidus. Whatever happens, he's going to need his friends."_

* * *

"_We're going to have to make a statement."_

"_I still believe we should wait. Yuna –"_

"_And what if she never wakes up? The world isn't going to stop spinning. There will still be anger and distrust. Ill feeling towards the Al Bhed. And we're going to have to do something about it. Life goes on, Baralai. We have to think about what's best for Spira."_

"_So you're saying we should just forget about Yuna. After everything she has done – not just for Spira, but for us too."_

"_I'm saying we don't have the luxury of time. And no matter how important, Yuna is still just one woman. Her absence hurts Spira certainly, but without all three of us, the world may very well just shake itself apart. We must act. Now."_

* * *

"_Lhan, what happened out there?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Was Lreav there?"_

"_It doesn't matter."_

"_It doesn't mat – how can it not matter? If he was there, if you saw him – he should have been arrested, Lhan! Or have you forgotten everythin' he's done?"_

"_How can I, when I'm surrounded by reminders all the time_."

"_He was there, wasn't he? He was there and – and you're still protectin' him! No, don't shake your head at me. You let him go, didn't you?"_

"_I didn't get the chance! Your precious girlfriend took that away from me too!"_

" … _What?"_

"_I found him, alright. Found him lying in the snow, blood everywhere. Oh and there just happened to be a little hole in his heart."_

* * *

"_She shot him?"_

* * *

"_Please don't leave me."_

* * *

"_Call a press conference. We have to stop this firestorm before it spirals out of control."_

* * *

"_I don't believe you."_

* * *

"_We're supposed to get married. That's what we've been fighting for. It can't end like this."_

* * *

"_What do we tell them?"_

* * *

"_I should have left her there to die."_

* * *

"_The truth."_

* * *

"_I love you."_

* * *

"_She killed my brother."_

* * *

"_Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt but … she's awake."_


	22. Chapter Twenty One: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N: **This was probably the hardest chapter that I've ever written for any of my fanfics – which is why it's been such a long time in coming. The issues it deals with were tricky for me to tackle, because I have absolutely no experience with the kind of situations I'm putting my characters through – nor do I have any insight into how a guy would react in these circumstances. I've done the best I can, which has led to a pretty long and involved chapter, which I hope everyone enjoys. Please let me know what you think!

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**Our Story**

_Chapter Twenty One: Gippal_

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"Gippal?"

I raised my head, blinking to try and wake my eyes up. I hadn't intended to fall asleep with my head on the edge of Rikku's bed – Spira knew what my hair looked like now – but apparently that was exactly what I'd done. Great. Now I felt like crap and by the look of the sunlight that was streaming in through the window, it was still pretty early. Plenty of time for the day to get even worse.

There was a hand on my shoulder – it had shaken me awake. I twisted around to find Baralai standing behind me. As always, the man looked serene in a dark blue robe decorated with New Yevon's insignia. His ability to maintain his calm in the face of the end of the world never failed to amaze me.

"Am I supposed to be in a meetin'?" This had become the main reason for people seeking me out recently. Not that I missed _that _many … since Nooj's conversation – or lecture as I privately called it – I'd been a lot more attentive. In my more sober moments, I could even admit that most of what he'd said to me had been justified. Then something would remind me of Rikku and I'd be right back to square one again. Torn between what _I _wanted and the responsibility of a position I was beginning to regret.

Baralai shook his head. "I just came to check on Rikku."

"I can save you the trouble. There's no change." I didn't even try to hide the bitterness in my tone. And then, because I felt a should, I asked, "How's Yuna?"

"Remarkably well considering." Baralai moved around to the head of the bed and laid his hand against Rikku's forehead. "I believe you and Elhandra saved her life."

"Great." There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm in my voice. I winced; Baralai was _not_ going to appreciate that. I tried again. "I'm glad she's okay." That was better – much more genuine. And hey, I was glad she'd finally woken up, really I was. I liked Yuna a whole bunch, and not just because she was Rikku's cousin.

"She wants to thank you."

That got my attention and I laughed bitterly. "For what? Draggin' her into my sorry mess of a life and almost getting' her killed?"

Baralai eyed me speculatively but didn't reply. He lifted his hand from Rikku's forehead. I didn't bother to ask what the verdict was; Rikku's closed eyes told me enough.

Baralai drifted across to the doorway and paused. "Gippal? Have you got a moment?"

I looked from Rikku to Baralai and back again. I wanted to say "No, I'm busy" but we both knew that was a barefaced lie. So I bit back a sigh and fixed a pleasant expression on my face. "Sure."

He led me out of Rikku's room and into a little side room that I hadn't been in before. So small that it barely deserved the title of room, it held a table and three chairs. Baralai took the one on the left hand side of the table and waved me towards the two on the right. I sunk into the nearest one fought the urge to put my feet up on the table.

"What's up?"

Baralai leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table resting his chin on his hands. The look he favoured me with was penetrating. "I thought you might want to talk."

I raised my eyebrows. "About …?"

"Anything. Everything." He watched me closely for a moment and then added, "Lreav."

His scrutiny was irritating. "Why would I wanna talk about Lreav?

"The man waged war across Spira to try and get his revenge against you. He managed to get you arrested, tried to subvert your girlfriend and kidnapped you, killing hundreds of people in the process. Not content with trying to kill himself to rob you of resolution, he came after your girlfriend again, kidnapping and almost killing Yuna in the process, and leaving Rikku in an unconscious state." Baralai's tone was cool, his words painfully accurate. It was like he was reading some kind of report, not commenting on events in my life.

My anger, which had been floating so close to the surface recently, started to rise again. "What are you gettin' at?"

"Gippal, even the most well-rounded individual would need to talk to someone after everything's that happened."

Oh great. Just bloody great. Baralai the priest. Praetor Baralai of the vaunted New Yevon, here to counsel me and make me feel better about myself. _Sharing a problem lightens the load. _What had I done to deserve this honour? Talk about my day going downhill quickly.

I decided to head this off before it could get started. "Look Baralai, no offence, but I'm not lookin' for someone to confess to. I have got any great "sins" or "regrets" to get off my chest. And if I do wanna talk, well I know where you are, okay?" _Yeah, right. _

It was his turn to raise a cultured eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

I stared at him. "Yeah. Pretty damn sure. Now if you're done …?" I started to rise.

"Not quite."

"Well, _I_ am. See you later." I started towards the door.

"Gippal, we're not finished here."

"Whatever." My hand closed around the door handle.

"Open that door and you might as well carry on walking right out of the building and into the baying mob outside."

All of a sudden Baralai's tone was like crystal, hard and unyielding. Surprised, I glanced back over my shoulder. His expression matched the tone of his voice. "Nooj will be only too happy to pack your bags for you."

Nooj. Just the sound of his name made me want to hit something. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I laughed bitterly, comprehension dawning. "He put you up to this, didn't he? Dammit Baralai! I am _sick _of both of you and your meddlin'. If I wanted someone to preach at me about my _responsibilities _and how I should be _acting_, I'd join a church."

"What it meansis that you're _this close_," Baralai held his hand up, fingers barely a breath apart, "from losing the protection of New Yevon and the Youth League, and being thrown to the lions."

Stunned, I released the door handle. "You're gonna kick me out?"

"You're kicking yourself out, Gippal. A little bit more each day."

I stared at him, not wanting to admit that I had no idea what he was talking about.

Baralai sighed and relaxed back into his chair. "Sit down."

I bristled. Who did he think he was, treating me like this? He wasn't_ my _leader. I didn't follow his pathetic New Yevon propaganda; he had no claim over me. "I'm fine over here."

Baralai threw his hands up in the air. "This is _precisely_ why you need to talk to someone about all of this. Look at yourself, Gippal! Flaring up at the slightest thing; snapping at everyone; aggressive and belligerent. You turn up to meetings but it's so obvious that your mind's elsewhere that's it's becoming embarrassing. Cid can't breathe in the same room as you without you shouting at him –"

"Don't talk to me about Cid. Don't _ever _talk to me about that bloody man –"

"See? You're shouting at me now and I've barely said anything to you."

"You just assassinated my character Baralai and threatened to sacrifice me to those Al Bhed-haters out there! Forgive me if I'm not feelin' particularly inclined to be polite right now." My sarcasm was so thick I could feel I coating my tongue.

"Well maybe you should be. If it hadn't been for me, you would have been out of here days ago; Rikku or no Rikku."

That pulled me up short. "What are you talkin' about?"

Baralai took a deep breath and visibly calmed himself. "Your attitude, Gippal. Your attitude, your lack of focus and your refusal to admit that there's anything wrong. Sympathy only goes so far, you know. My defence of your conduct is beginning to fail."

Baralai had been defending my behaviour? I wasn't sure how to take that. It made me feel angry – angry that people seemed to think my conduct _needed _defending – but also oddly grateful. Apparently I still had one friend out there.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Gippal … you know you can't go on like this."

I studied the back of the chair in front of me and didn't reply.

"It's why I brought you into this room. So that you could talk. And perhaps … perhaps you can finally let go of some of the guilt that you've been carrying around."

My head shot up. Guilt? Baralai didn't know what he was talking about.

"I don't feel guilty."

"No? Well perhaps I was mistaken then. But if it were me – if Lreav had killed hundreds of people to get at _me_ – then I believe I would feel a certain amount of guilt."

"I don't feel guilty," I repeated through gritted teeth. "Lreav was a traitorous little bastard, and I'm glad he's dead, but I don't feel guilty about it. In fact, if I had to pick an emotion, I'd probably go with "happy". Yeah, I'm happy he's dead."

"And what about Rikku? Or Elhandra?"

What about them? What did he want me to say? That I felt _responsible ­_– yeah, maybe I did. But guilty? No way. None of this was my fault, after all. It wasn't like I'd been standing behind Lreav, urging him on when he'd blundered down the road into insanity. And could I help it if I'd been the object of his obsession for revenge? No.

So I deliberately misunderstood Baralai's question. "I'm sure they're happy he's dead too. Even Lhan – she probably thinks he's found peace at last."

"But you don't."

My lip curled into a snarl. "If there's any justice in the world, then Lreav's getting' real friendly with that dark, fiery place right about now."

"Justice, hmm?"

"Yeah, justice."

He didn't say anything else. Just _looked_ at me with those calm eyes and that unshakeable composure. My anger, always so close to the surface recently, started to bubble upwards.

"Look Baralai, what do you want me to say? That I hate him? That I'm sorry he killed all of those people? Of course I'm sorry and yeah, I hate him. So would you if the bastard had tried to completely destroy your life. It doesn't make me a saint, but it doesn't make me evil either. In fact, I'm pretty sure it just makes me normal."

"And your behaviour now. Do you think that is "normal"?"

"Oh so I'm not allowed to be angry now am I? You know what: you go through what I've been through these last several months and then you can stand there and tell me how I should be acting." Baralai didn't react – didn't even blink – and it just made me angrier. The flood barriers shattered and pure fury raced through my veins like fire, screaming at me to make him hurt like I was; to make him scream; to make him cry. To make him _stop_.

"You really have no idea – you have no idea what this has been like for me." The words spilled out of me in a frenzied, hysterical torrent. "He _killed_ people – _because of me_. Hundreds of people are dead because Lreav blamed me for his ma's death. It makes me_ sick_; I mean, I actually want to vomit. And then I want to drag him out of whatever hell he's in now and kill him myself. How could he be so damn selfish? I was _nine_ _years old_, for Spira's sake. I didn't _plan _to get his ma killed – and I think I damn well paid for it when I ended up a half-blind orphan. But that was never enough for him. No, he wanted to pollute everythin' that was important to me; take it all away. Like – like a disease. He infected every part of my life. The Machine Faction, Lhan, Rikku … Spira, why did it have to be Rikku? Why did he have to – Wasn't tormenting me enough?" I clutched at the back of the chair, fingers white with tension. "Why couldn't he just confront _me_ about his damn issues – like a normal, _sane_ person? Why did he have to drag the whole world into it? All those people – I don't think he even cared. He – he just had to hurt me. Had to take everythin' from me, had to – to rip and destroy and – _everything. _Dammit – what did I do to deserve any of that? It was an _accident_ – just a stupid, mindless accident and it – _it wasn't my fault_!"

I lashed out and the chair toppled forward, knocking into the desk and tossing a pale blue vase to the floor. The vase shattered and I started blankly at the broken pieces.

"It wasn't my fault," I repeated softly. "But I still feel –"

_Responsible._

"That's called "being human"."

My head jerked up. I'd almost forgotten about Baralai. He was still watching me from behind the desk, expression calm and difficult to read. He hadn't even reacted when I'd kicked the chair over. Now he leaned forward, eyes serious. "And it may be a natural response to tragedy, but that doesn't mean it's always the correct one."

Did I really feel responsible? The realisation struck me like physical blow and all of the fight drained out of me. Yeah, I really did. And guilty too. Guilty as hell. All my anger, all my cursing and shouting and railing – it had just been a defence mechanism. A screen that I'd used to mask how I was really feeling. And not a very good one apparently – Baralai and Nooj had both seen straight through it.

It was almost enough to make me laugh. I was Mr Spontaneity. Mr Fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. Captain Freedom. Even heading up the Machine Faction – well, it was more play than work. Not a lot of responsibility there – and no one to answer to either. If something went wrong then we all shrugged and went back to square one. It wasn't like there were serious consequences, not really. And that was how I liked it. Some people are suited for responsibility – others aren't. That had suited me just fine.

Until now apparently. Man, I'd sure chosen a great time to suddenly develop a conscious.

"Well at least I'm takin' responsibility for somethin'," I said finally, voice heavy with irony. "Nooj'll be so proud."

Baralai smiled. "Relieved perhaps. That you're finally being honest with yourself."

I wanted to protest that he was talking a load of crap, but to be honest, I didn't have the energy. Without the fire of my anger, I just felt … tired. Tired, and kinda depressed. The guilt I'd been refusing to acknowledge had taken root inside my mind and all these unwelcome thoughts kept jumping into my head. About Lreav and Lhan – and Rikku – and how if you looked at things in a certain way, everything that had happened could be brought back to me.

Was all of this my fault?

"Rikku wouldn't be in there if it wasn't for me."

The words were an unconscious echo of my thoughts. I wasn't even aware I'd said them aloud until Baralai replied, "Perhaps not."

_Perhaps not. _I snorted. There was no "perhaps" about it. I'd brought Rikku to the Machine Faction, hadn't I? I'd introduced her and Lreav and set this grand old journey in motion. If I hadn't done that -

"What if I'd done things differently?" I suddenly, desperately, wanted Baralai's opinion. I needed to hear that I hadn't made any mistakes; I needed someone to tell me that I was wrong – that this wasn't my fault.

He countered my question with a gentle one of his own, "Do you think it would have changed anything?"

Not exactly the response I'd been looking for. What did that even mean - did he agree with that insistent little voice in my mind, the one that was placing the blame squarely at my feet? Was this his way trying to avoid pissing me off further by blaming me –

Baralai sighed as my expression darkened. "Gippal, we can live our lives counting the "what ifs" and "might have beens". Questioning each and every decision that we make. But sometimes – most of time – the events that shape the world around us are a product of so many different choices that it's impossible to trace which one tipped the balance. Perhaps there was something you could have done differently, but even if you had, can you truly say that it would have changed the outcome?"

I let his words sink in and forced myself to really listen for once. Baralai came out with some pretty profound stuff sometimes, and if I was looking for advice, he'd be the first guy I turned to. The problem was actually _believing _what he was saying. With Rikku still unconscious in the next room – a mute testament to my failure – it was difficult not fall into a wallow in the blame I was sure I deserved.

"But if you want to know if I think this was your fault," Baralai continued, "then no, I don't think you were to blame for any of this. There are some things that I wish you had handled differently, but the fault ultimately lies with the man who carries out the actions, not the one he uses to justify them. Gippal," he leaned forward across the table, "you have to let go of your guilt."

Easier said than done, but hearing that Baralai – someone who could always be relied upon to give an honest opinion – didn't think I'd screwed up … well at least it made me feel a bit better. Still wasn't sure I believed him, but maybe – maybe hanging on to this guilt was like Lreav winning, in a way. The guy would love nothing better than me ruining what was left of my life by pushing people away and losing myself to anger. His final act of revenge, I guess. Especially if – _when_ Rikku woke up. She had short temper already – and not a whole bundle of patience. Our relationship wasn't going to last five minutes unless I did something to change my attitude.

And strangely, that thought gave me the push I really needed to accept what Baralai was telling me. That no matter what I might think, it _wasn't_ my fault. I hadn't helped certainly – and maybe I could have done some things differently – but ultimately, Lreav's revenge was to blame.

"I guess … I guess I owe you guys an apology," I said awkwardly, running a hand through my hair. No one likes admitting they've been acting like an idiot.

Baralai shook his head. "It's forgotten. You lost a friend – to particularly bitter circumstances. Your reaction was understandable."

It was a strange way to look at it. Lreav … a friend? He'd plagued my life for so many months now that it was easy to forget we'd grown up together, been stepbrothers, and then later spent years together at the Machine Faction. There'd been friendship there, at least on my side. I guess I'll never know how much of what I saw of Lreav was just a performance for my benefit - and to be honest, I don't want to know.

But a friend?

I remembered how I'd felt when I thought Lreav had died that first time, plunging over the side of Kilika Temple. Glad certainly – glad that Rikku was safe and no one else was going to die at the hands of Lreav's bombs. But betrayed too. And miserable too. I had lost more than Lreav that day – I'd lost the memory of a good man and the death of a friendship.

But now?

No, I hadn't lost a friend when Rikku had pulled that trigger. Lreav had drained the pity-pool dry long before that. Learning that he was dead – really dead this time … I'd just been relieved that the nightmare was over. Almost – almost glad in a way. No, _definitely _glad. The friend that I'd known – if he'd ever really _been_ a friend – had died long before even that day at the temple. The man Rikku had been forced to kill out on Mount Gagazet had been nothing but a phantom. A memory that I'd been happy to lose.

"Bitter circumstances, yeah. But a friend?" I laughed. "Hardly."

Baralai raised his eyes heavenwards, but obviously decided that arguing the point wasn't worth the energy. Instead he rose from behind the table and smoothed down his robe.

"Are we done?"

He waved a hand towards the doorway, heading towards it himself when I didn't move. It was weird; somehow I'd been expecting more of lecture. It almost felt like I'd been let off to easily – and what about all that stuff about kicking me out? Was he expecting me to go and pack my bags or something?

"Baralai –"

"I have a meeting to attend." He paused in the doorway and looked back at me. "I'll see you later."

I felt like I should say something else. "Uh – Baralai?"

Again he looked back.

" … Thanks. I guess."

He smiled. It was a genuine expression of contentment, one that made his whole face light up. I found myself grinning back.

"I just thought you might want to talk," my inscrutable friend replied, before slipping out of the room.

* * *

I joined the meeting myself, later that day. It was probably a good job Nooj hadn't summoned me before that – Baralai had given me a lot to think about and I've never been the greatest at puzzling out my own feelings. Time suddenly became a wonderful commodity.

So I wasn't exactly thrilled when a pretty New Yevonite knocked on the doorframe to Rikku's room and informed me that Meyven Nooj was "expecting" me at his meeting. Nooj and I still hadn't really talked since the infamous lecture and while Baralai's counsel meant I probably wasn't going to fly off the handle at the Deathseeker, I wasn't really looking to hang out with him either.

Still, he had hollered so I had to come running. Responsibility and all that. At least he wasn't alone; Baralai was sitting opposite him and between them, Cid, Wakka, Paine, Lulu and Tidus, with – Yuna?

It was the first time that I'd seen the Lady Summoner up and about since her near-death experience. She looked – well not great, if I'm honest. Pale, but not the I've-just-got-pale-skin kind of pale. More the I've-been-seriously-ill shade. And there was a visible bandage peeking out from behind the neck of her top. But it was more the way she held herself in chair. I'd become so used to Yuna sitting forward, gesturing with her hands, and smiling, always smiling. Now she remained as still as possible, her hands resting in her lap, her back cradled against the support of the chair. If she was in pain though, her eyes didn't betray it. They were the same as always; brimming with intelligence and life. It was the expression in these eyes that finally convinced me that Yuna was going to be okay.

It was she that spoke first – surprising me. "Gippal, thank you for coming."

"If I'd known you were gonna be here, I'd've come sooner, my Lady."

She smiled. "Flatterer. I know I look awful. Still," her expression sobered, "at least I am alive. I fear if it hadn't been for Elhandra and yourself –"

I couldn't take the praise from her – not now. I waved away her words. "It was nothin'. Right place, right time. And hey, I guess I owed you for gettin' you tangled up in my mess."

I knew she saw through my bluster, but she only inclined her head. Always so graceful – that was Yuna. A real lady, right down to her fingertips. It was part of what made her such a brilliant politician.

I slid into an empty beside Paine, ignoring the eyebrows she raised in my direction. Paine can be annoyingly blunt at times and the last thing I needed was her demanding to know what was "up with me".

Beyond her, I could feel Cid's eyes burning into the side of my head. I ignored him as well. Baralai was right – I kinda _had_ been jumping down his throat recently. And I know he's as worried about Rikku as I am, but I guess … well, I just don't like the guy. And I'm pretty sure that's never gonna change – which could cause a few problems in the future.

The silence that had fallen when I'd entered the room lingered for a moment, and then Nooj cleared his throat. "As I was saying – I don't think we have much of a choice."

"I agree," Baralai said. "Perhaps sharing the truth with Spira will work in our favour for once."

Cid was shaking his head. "And what if your grand plan backfires? Don't get me wrong – I like this plan for the humiliation alone – but not if it's gonna make my people's lives even harder than they already are."

"Is that even possible?" Nooj demanded, looking up and down the table. "Look at what's happening here and now!"

"This ain't_ nothing_," Cid snapped. "Before the Calm – _that _was the worst. When the Al Bhed haters burned our home to the ground and slaughtered our people –"

"And you think the same won't happen here?"

"Whether it happens or not, we cannot take the risk." Baralai intervened before the argument could get out of hand. "We have to consider _all_ our people – not just the Al Bhed."

"Why are you all so convinced that _talking_ is going to make one blind bit of difference?" Paine wanted to know. "You don't save the world by _talking_. You save it by actually _doing_ something."

"You wanna step out there and pull them apart yourself?" Wakka demanded.

She favoured him with a withering look. "Of course not. But really, _talking_? Are we that desperate?"

Silence fell. I looked from one face to another, feeling like I was a kid who'd blundered into an adult conversation, for the second time that day. What in the name of Spira were they all talking about?

"I believe we should see what Gippal thinks."

I hadn't been expecting that. Yuna's soft words sent all eyes in my direction – and I still had no idea what was going on. What made my opinion so important anyway? No one had ever listened to it before – not really, anyway. Even on the odd occasions that I'd made sense in someone else's eyes, they'd had offer the idea themselves before it would be accepted. I'm innovative, erratic and a dab hand with a piece of machina or a weapon. A thinker, I am not. The whole thing was almost laughable … except that no one else seemed amused.

I looked at all the faces before me and held up my hands. "Anyone want to fill me in here?"

A glance passed between Nooj and Baralai, but it was Yuna who answered. "Gippal … we want you to speak to the people."

Speak to the people. My confusion must have shown on my face because Yuna added, "We believe that if they know what truly happened with Lreav, and can understand that the Al Bhed aren't responsible for his actions, then we might be able to prevent this war."

They wanted me to speak to the people… to stop the war. To stop the war by – by _talking_.

Had everyone gone _completely_ insane?

The words popped out before I could stop them – and I don't think they exactly endeared me to the room. After all, these were some of the brightest minds in Spira, and I'd basically just called them all idiots. Wait a minute, these were some of the brightest minds in Spira and the best they could come up with was to use _me_? Were things really that bad?

I tried to explain my outburst, but it just ended up sounding even worse. "This is – I mean – oh, come _on_ guys, you can't be serious! This has _disaster_ written all over it – have you ever heard me makin' a speech? Not a pretty sight, I'm tellin' ya." They were all still watching me. Even Cid hadn't interrupted – and his silence told me a lot more than his snarling did. They were actually serious about this.

I laughed, to cover my growing unease. "Listen – listen guys, this isn't a good idea. I mean, I mean, this is me ya know? No one wants to hear from me." Still nothing. Why weren't they disagreeing with me? Confusion gave way to anger and I snapped, "What do you expect me to say anyway?"

"The truth," Nooj said finally, voice flat.

I laughed again. He made it sound so simple. "Like that's gonna make any kind of difference. I don't think the riotin' masses are gonna care about Lreav's bad childhood. They just want someone to blame –"

"So give them Lreav," Tidus urged, eyes flashing. "We don't owe the guy anything – hell, after what he did to Rikku and Yuna he deserves to be thrown to the wolves!" Yuna touched his arm and he subsided back into his chair.

"Tidus is right," Baralai said evenly. "The people are angry, confused – they are demanding answers." His eyes, piercing and as direct as ever, made me squirm in my seat. "You can give them that."

"Why me?" I winced; I could hear the whine in my voice. I sounded like a spoilt child and yet … I couldn't stop myself. This was like some kind of nightmare and it was spiralling out of control. "You all know the story. Why do _I _have to do it?"

"Because it's your responsibility." Nooj's voice was harsh and his words pointed. Looking at him, I knew there was going to an uncomfortable conversation somewhere in our future. Whatever bridges I'd mended with Baralai were still merrily burning with the Deathseeker.

Still, now wasn't the time to argue – I'd had enough of that with Baralai earlier. So I held my tongue and tried to fight my growing panic. "Look, I just don't think I'm the best person for the job. Yuna –"

" – Is still recovering," Tidus interrupted fiercely.

I held up my hands. "Alright, Baralai then."

Baralai didn't even answer; he just shook his head. I didn't even bother looking at Nooj.

Yuna placed her hands flat on the table and leaned forward slightly. "Gippal – try to understand. While all of us here might know the events and the implications of what happened, only you know the story in all it's completeness. You can bring an honesty to the tale that we would lack. We believe that it's this honesty that just might stem the tide of conflict."

If it had been anyone else asking, I would have continued to protest. Told them to find somebody else – that I wouldn't do it. The conversation with Baralai was still fresh in my mind and I needed time to think everything through – work out just what the hell I was feeling. The thought of having to spill my guts to the whole of Spira at the best of times was a hideous one, but now …? Well there were parts of what had happened that I never wanted to think about again, let alone proclaim to a crowed room. It was an invasion of privacy, where all my actions would be laid bare and my guilt judged by millions of faceless strangers. What right did they have to know everything, to argue about choices and decisions and responsibilities? To vilify me for not stopping Lreav? I'd done that enough myself - the last thing I needed was anyone else weighing in.

And yet she sat there, looking at me. Yuna, white faced and obviously in pain. Yuna, who by all accounts should still be in bed. Yuna, who aside from me, had more reason that anyone to want to forget what had happened.

But she was still here, at the meeting. Despite everything, she was still working on Spira's behalf, with that quiet strength that had led her to save the world not once, but twice. In the face of such a lesson in sacrifice and the power of human spirit, how could I refuse?

The words died in my throat and I sat back in my chair. Maybe this was some kind of karma – a way to atone for the mistakes I'd made with Lreav. For what had happened to Lhan, Rikku, Yuna. For all those people who'd been a victim of Lreav's bombs. If the others were right and I really could stop the fighting before it erupted into war … well, wasn't it worth it, no matter what the cost?

"Alright." The words didn't come easily, but I forced myself to say them. "I'll do it."

Tidus thumped the table, Baralai and Nooj looked relieved and Cid smirked, obviously revelling in my discomfort. Yuna touched my hand and mouthed "Thank you." Above all others, I think she could tell what this was going to cost me.

"Good. I think it's about time you started telling the truth about _something_."

That voice - My head whipped around towards the doorway and my breath caught in my throat. Braced against the doorframe, her slender body trembling and her golden hair hanging limply around her face, was Rikku.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N: **Scratch what I said about the last chapter - this is by the far the hardest thing I've ever written. I'm still not happy with it, but I wanted to post before this story had just become a distant memory in everyone's minds. The better news is that I've already gotten the first page of the next chapter written, and the conversation is flowing a lot more easily than this chapter, so I'm hopeful that it's not going to be such a struggle to write. Thanks to everyone who has persevered with this story; I hope you enjoy this chapter and as I'm really not happy with the way this turned out, I'd be particularly interested in any feedback that you could give me.

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**Our Story**

_Chapter Twenty Two: Rikku_

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I didn't want to wake up. The darkness – it was a blessing. Silent, peaceful. Nothing hurt. I didn't have to worry about anything. I didn't have to think. I could just … _be_.

But slowly, the world came back into focus. And along with it came the pain, this constant, fiery ache that I couldn't escape and couldn't ignore either. It spread throughout my body, infecting every part, throbbing, burning, until even the ends of my hair felt like they were on fire. My lips parted and a wet, gasping sound escaped.

I lay there, just trying to adjust – just trying to understand. This bed … it wasn't mine. The clothes I was dressed in – not mine either. And the pain … why did my whole body hurt? What had happened to me?

I'd been injured, that much was obvious. And when you live in a world populated by healing potions and phoenix downs, and your body _still_ hurts, well it's a clear sign that the injury was serious. And yet … when I closed my eyes and tried to remember, there was nothing there.

So I opened them again, hoping to make some sense of insanity. Colours swam in front of my eyes; soft greens and blues. Calm, warm colours typical of a place where people came to heal. Well that confirmed my suspicious, but it didn't exactly answer any of my questions.

"Welcome back."

Contrary to the sentiment of the words, the tone was flat and sarcastic. Something about it made me shiver, which just made my body protest even more. I turned my head with difficulty and for the first time realised that someone was sitting beside my bed.

"How are you feeling?"

Again, there was that note of sarcasm. That undercurrent of disinterest. Why was this person asking if they didn't care?

"I … I …"

The words stuck in my throat. I swallowed – painfully – and tried again. "Wh-what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Shaking my head proved to be a mistake. I had to close my eyes again and breath quickly through my nose before the world steadied again.

"You almost died. Hypothermia." A pause, significantly long. "I saved your life."

I tried to focus on the face beside me. Green eyes, hooded and … somehow both angry and full of despair at the same time. Golden skin. And a mass of brown hair, bound together in thousands of little braids.

The name came to my like something out a dream … heralding in something out a nightmare.

Elhandra. The half-sister of Lreav.

Lreav.

The man I had killed.

I rolled over and threw up, coughing weakly as my stomach informed me that I hadn't eaten anything for days.

"That's disgusting," Elhandra observed.

I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and just tried to concentrate on keeping my stomach steady. I'd killed Lreav. I'd shot him and he'd – he had died. He was dead because of me. And his sister – his sister was sitting right next to me. Why? Why was she here? Why was she here after everything I'd done? To Lreav – and to her. Why was she sitting calmly beside me, waiting for me to wake up?

"Lr-Lreav," I managed, the rest of my words getting lost as I started coughing.

"Oh he's quite dead," Elhandra informed me expressionlessly. "You made sure of it this time."

I caught my breath and pulled myself into as much as a sitting position as I could manage. "Elhandra –"

"He was frozen almost solid when I found you. Even if you hadn't shot him in head, I don't think he would have survived."

Memories clawed their way back into my head. A desperate struggle in the snow; the feel of the gun in my hand and my finger on the trigger. I'd killed people before, of course; I'm no innocent. Soldiers of Yevon, men who supported Maester Seymour or those controlled by Shuyin. But never like this. Never someone I'd known personally. Never someone I'd cared about.

I wanted to put the guilt into words – to tell Elhandra that I was sorry. To explain everything. But her face was so cold and remote. She'd never liked me – and I'd quite happily hated her at times – but it had gone beyond that now. I'd killed her brother and no matter how justified my actions, I knew she would never forgive me.

Still, she was here when no one else was and there were things I needed to know. "Yuna. How's – did you find Yuna?"

She stared at me for a long moment, and I thought she wasn't going to answer. Then she simply said, "We found her. And she's alive. Woke up a few days ago."

The relief that coursed through my body was euphoric. Yunie was alive. My cousin was alive. Lreav's victim count had lost a number, because Yuna was okay.

Wait a minute … what had Elhandra said? "You – _You_ found her?"

"I was there." The smile she turned on me was twisted. "Ironic really, isn't it? While I was saving your cousin, you were busy killing my brother."

I pushed myself higher, suddenly desperate for her to understand. "Elhandra, I'm – "

"Don't say you're sorry. _Don't ever say those words to me_."

I'd never heard anyone speak like that before. The words were so brittle, it sounded like something was about to snap. I opened my mouth but I honestly didn't know what to say.

"I know he had to be stopped," she continued, eyes focused somewhere over my left shoulder. "He was dangerous; he'd gone too far – I know that. I know that. But just – just don't say you're sorry. The last thing I want is pity from the girl who killed him."

Laid bare like that, I couldn't help flinching. Her words – they might as well have been my thoughts. Because when you came down to it, no matter how many times I tried to justify what I'd done, I'd still taken a life. And I'd never been able to know if maybe, if I'd just acted differently, things could have played out another way.

"Okay," I said finally, voice cracking. "I understand."

"Good."

Silence fell between us, thick and uncomfortable. I shifted painfully, drawing my hands into my lap and inspecting the scarring on my knuckles. I couldn't even remember how I'd got these. Somewhere before or after I'd killed Lreav was probably a good guess.

"Why are you here?" I asked presently, as the question once again popped into my mind. If this was something to do with revenge … well, I wasn't exactly in any position to defend myself. Worryingly, that thought didn't really bother me. The idea of being punished … it kinda felt right.

"I wanted to be here if you died."

Punishment indeed. "So you could celebrate?"

"So I could tell Gippal. I figure he'd want to know."

Of course, because Gippal wasn't there himself. Why was I even surprised? He hadn't come for me when Lreav had taken me; he wasn't sitting by my bedside, holding my hand waiting for me to wake up and of course, he hadn't told me that he'd accidentally fathered a child. One mistake I might have been able to overlook. Even two, circumstances willing. But all three? Was there any more proof that I needed that Gippal didn't care less about our relationship, and cared even less about me?

I suddenly wanted to know – no, needed to know. "Did you know? About Juyane?"

Elhandra stared at me. I think I'd finally surprised her. "You obviously didn't."

"Lreav filled in the blanks for me. Before I shot him in the head."

It was her turn to flinch. The sight filled me with a vindictive sense of pleasure. "Did you know about Juyane?"

"I knew the story," she admitted, eyes hard. "I assumed Gippal had told you."

My smile was bitter. Of course she had – of course everybody had. After all, Elhandra wasn't the only one who had known about Juyane. My pops had made it pretty obvious that he had something over Gippal's head and unless my boyfriend had a second deep, dark secret, then it was probably going to be the Juyane thing. And what about Paine? A friend of Gippal's for years now – had she known? Baralai and Nooj were most likely a yes and – what about Brother? Or Buddy – I bet Buddy had known. He's the kind of guy who knows everything about everyone.

So many people … and not one of them had thought to tell me. Not even _mentioned_ the fact that Gippal had got a poor girl pregnant and then dumped her like a piece of trash. Spira, just thinking about it was enough to make me wanted to throw up again. I never could have imagined – did I even know him at all?

Why hadn't he told me?

"Where is he?"

"Gippal?"

"No, Lreav," I shot back, trying out some of my own sarcasm. I was suddenly, brilliantly angry, and I wasn't sure why. It was like all the guilt I was feeling was being transmuted into fury, growing, twisting and changing, threatening to consume me. "Of course Gippal."

Again there was that pause, as if she didn't want to tell me. "He's in a meeting with the others. I believe they're trying to fix the world again. Maybe one day they'll learn to stop meddling."

Fix the world again? What was she even talking about?

"Where?"

"I don't know."

The anger flared up. "You're lying."

"I wouldn't waste the energy."

"Tell me where he is!"

"I have."

"You've told me nothing!" I lashed out, catching a glass that was standing on the bedside table and shattering across the floor. Elhandra pulled backwards to avoid getting hurt by the sharp shards.

"Why are you so angry?" she demanded, all that cold, hard, lack of emotion splintering. "You killed _my _brother – I'm the one who should be screaming at you!"

"Yes, I killed you brother!" I laughed wildly, struggling to my feet. "I took my gun and shot him in the head. And you know why I did it? Not because I wanted to end his reign of terror. Not to keep the people of Spira safe. Not even to avenge Yuna. I shot him because he was going to kill or rape me, or both." I advanced on her, heedless of the glass cutting into my bare feet. "I shot him because I couldn't bare to feel his disgusting, murderous hands touching me. I shot him to save my own skin!"

A hand connected with my face. I lurched backwards, legs knocking into the bed, my cheek stinging painfully. Elhandra hugged her hand to her chest. She was breathing heavily, eyes wide and face finally showing some of the pain she must have been feeling. It was almost enough to pull me up short; to make me apologise.

Almost, but not quite.

I pushed myself upright, swaying slightly on my heels. Then I made for the door. Elhandra grabbed my arm as I passed her. "What do you think you're doing –?"

I shoved her weakly, catching her off balance and making her stumble. She released my arm and I yanked the door open, adrenaline giving me the strength to storm through it and out into the courtyard beyond.

Columns spiralled around me, reaching dizzying heights. It didn't recognise the building, but I couldn't find the energy to care. Corridors filled with light twisted and turned in front of me; doors swung open, revealing green and blue rooms while footsteps ran after me and voices shouted.

Finally I found what I'd been looking for: a door that was larger than the others, and more ornately decorated. Whatever was on the other side was obviously important. I could hear voices talking, familiar voices, an argument building and then calm reigning once again. I struggled with the heavy door, forcing it open through determination alone. The footsteps behind me were getting closer. I ignored them, nudging my bloody bare foot in the gap and pushing with me knee.

The door finally gave, swinging soundlessly inward. I hung onto the door handle for support, eyes running feverishly across the faces of the people inside.

"Why me?" a voice demanded. "You all know the story. Why do _I _have to do it?"

"Because it's your responsibility."

"Look, I just don't think I'm the best person for the job. Yuna –"

" – Is still recovering,"

"Alright, Baralai then."

"Gippal – try to understand. While all of us here might know the events and the implications of what happened, only you know the story in all it's completeness. You can bring an honesty to the tale that we would lack. We believe that it's this honesty that just might stem the tide of conflict."

The words made me want to scream with laughter. Honesty? Gippal? Was this some kind of great, cosmic joke at my expense? They were proposing that Gippal – the greatest liar that Spira had ever seen – stood up in front of the whole world and _told the truth_? To end a war?

Had everyone gone insane?

"Alright. I'll do it."

I hadn't meant to reveal myself in such a dramatic fashion – to be honest, I wasn't really thinking clearly and the words were out before I could stop them, sarcastic and thick with a bitter mixture of disappointment and anger. "Good. I think it's about time you started telling the truth about _something_."

All eyes turned on me and after a moment of shocked silence, the room descended into an uproar.

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"Rikku!"

"Rikku –"

"Spira, are you okay?"

"Rikku?"

"What are you doing out of bed?!"

"How are you feeling?"

Hands clutched at me; anxious faces thrust in front of mine; voices babbled hysterically. Colours whirled and bodies danced, but I didn't pay attention to any of it. I pushed through all of them, swaying into the room and fingering the solid wood of the table gratefully as I let it take my weight. A pause, just for a second and then ploughed onwards, around the table, passed my dad and brother, even ignoring Yuna's outstretched hand –

Suddenly he was before me, a solid figure of muscle and cloth. His hands reached out and caught my shoulders and the hope on his face was almost enough to stop me in my tracks.

Almost. Because staring at his familiar features, all I could see was a dying man's face. All I could remember were the lies that had dogged our relationship for so long. The pain and the blood and the anger.

"Rikku –"

I don't know what he was going to say. To be honest, I didn't even care. I just pulled my arms out of his grip and slapped him full across the face.

It wasn't much of a slap, and I think I staggered from the blow more than he did, but it was enough to reduce the room to silence. Gippal touched his cheek gingerly, more shocked than hurt.

"_Oui pycdynt_," I said into the silence, voice low and harsh. "You utter, utter bastard! Did you think I wouldn't find out? That he wouldn't – that no one would tell me? I bet you did, didn't you? Swore everyone to silence – laughing at me behind my backs. Silly, little Rikku – so damn, so damn gullible and stupid and – and –" Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them back furiously. I wouldn't cry; he wasn't going to get that satisfaction. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why did – why did he have to hear it from _him_? After everything, was he was the only one who respected me enough to tell me? When all of you –" I turned on the room, spinning around and steadying myself on the table, "_all of you _just sat there and lied to my face –"

"Rikku –"

"No!" I shouted, voice cracking, not even sure who had spoken. "No, I've had enough of your excuses and your lies – _all of you_. _He_ was the only one who would tell me and then – and then I – oh Spira, what did you make me do? _What did you make me do_?" I banged my hands against the tabletop, barely noticing the pain that shot up my arms. What did pain matter? Everything hurt so much anyway, inside and out. A few more bruises would hardly matter.

"He's _dead_. I – I killed him. Took a gun and – and shot him. I shot him in the chest – because he needed to be stopped, I know he needed to be stopped, but – but he was the only one who was honest with me. _The only one_. Because he loved me." I laughed shrilly and threw my hands up in the air. "He loved me and I killed him." I looked across at Gippal. "Ironic really, isn't it?"

They were all staring at me. Nooj, Baralai and Yuna were still sitting around the table; the first two with carefully blank expressions and my cousin looking pale, ill and worried. Tidus was standing behind her chair, his hand on her shoulder. He'd always been the kind of guy who worn his emotions out there for all to see and now was no exception – he looked shocked to his core at my wild behaviour.

My pops was the closest to me and Gippal. He'd come around the edge of the table when I'd barrelled in, hands reaching for me, only drawing back when faced with my fury. The expression on his face was the most interesting. I'd expected it to be anger, or worry, but instead he looked almost … guilty. Like he felt some kind of responsibility for what had happened.

But why he be feeling guilty unless …

Unless he'd known, all along.

The realisation hit me so suddenly that I almost flinched. Of course – how could I have been so stupid? All those hints and veiled warnings. The conversations I'd overheard. My dad's obvious dislike of Gippal.

He'd known. My dad had known all along. He'd known everything about Gippal, Juyane, and the baby.

And he hadn't told me.

Somehow, this hurt more than it being Paine, or even Brother. This was my dad – he was supposed to protect me. He was supposed to keep me safe.

He wasn't supposed to let me turn into a murderer.

I was so angry then, so hurt and confused and betrayed, that I wanted to scream. I wanted to smash something, tear into hundreds and thousands of tiny pieces, to make it bleed like I was bleeding. How could they have done this? How could they have set me on this path? _Why hadn't they told me?_

Fire started gathering around my hands; my anger and frustration allowing me to reach a depth of magic that I'd rarely touched before. Flames blossomed along my arms as the raw power flooded through me. It felt alive – like some kind of wild beast – untamed and dangerous. Brilliant, illuminating the room and casting shadows across their scared faces.

"Rikku!"

Hands seized me from behind and a pair of arms wrapped themselves firmly around my chest. I struggled against that grip, clawing at the skin, biting and kicking, but it was too strong. The fire began to fade and with it, all of my energy. My body suddenly remember how injured it was and I felt my legs buckling.

"It's okay," a voice kept saying in my ear. "Just let it go. It's okay."

_It's not okay, _I tried to say, but the words faltered before they could leave my mouth. I felt so … so drained. So utterly spent. Like to even take one more breath would be too hard. The room was clearing behind me, someone was easing me into a chair, but I could barely raise my head enough to see who it was. Voices were arguing –

" – back to bed, right now!"

"She obviously wants to talk about somethin' –"

"Is your mind scrambled? She almost died! She needs to lie down."

"And I'll make sure she does. _After_ we've had a chance to talk." Then, closer to me and softer, "Rikku?"

I looked up, my head feeling heavy. Gippal of course, that concern lining his face again. Just looking at him stirred my anger, giving me the strength to sit up a little straighter in my chair. There was no way I was going to let my body's weakness give Gippal the upper hand.

The last protesting family member – my dad I think – was shoved out of the room and Gippal closed the door firmly behind him. For a moment we just stared at each other. Then Gippal shifted awkwardly from one foot to other and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I've spent the last week prayin' that you'd wake up, but now that you have … Spira, Rikku, what the hell is goin' on? One minute you're unconscious and I don't know if you're gonna live or die, and the next thin' you're burstin' in here and slappin' me across the face! Actin' like I'm worse than – worse then Sin, or somethin'." When I didn't reply, he pushed away from the door and came across to the table, pulling a chair around to face me. He sank down into it and sat forward, bringing his face close to mine. "Is this about Lreav? Did he say something – did he _do _something to you?" His voice was softer now, his concern showing through the frustration. He looked down at my hands, folded neatly in my lap and I think he wanted to take them in his. The expression on my face must have persuaded him otherwise, because all he finished with was, "Please Rikku, you gotta help me out here. Tell me what's wrong."

So here it was. I was finally going to get the answer to my poisonous little question; I was going to unmask Gippal's lie. The thought should have made me savage with satisfaction, but honestly, I just felt exhausted. My head was pounding, my stomach churning and the thought of sitting passively by while Gippal tried to justify abandoning his pregnant ex-girlfriend made me want to throw up. I could barely stand to look at him right now, let alone hear more of his lies.

I felt so … messed up. Like something wasn't working properly inside of me. Why was I even here – what was all of this about? This was what I'd wanted, wasn't it? The answers to everything. So why was I hesitating? I just had to hold on to my anger; I just had to focus on Juyane and the baby, and the fact that Gippal had lied to me. Then I could … what? Start making some sense of all this mess?

"Rikku?"

This time he did touch me, reaching across the great space between us and resting his hand against my cheek. That one little move broke the barrier and suddenly my anger was back, black and brilliant like before.

I recoiled, moving out of his reach. "Tell me about Juyane and your baby," I said coldly. "I'm sure it's a fascinating story and one I'm just _dying_ to hear."


	24. Chapter Twenty Three: Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Here's an early Christmas present for all you eager readers out there - a brand new chapter! Even better news, I've already written the next chapter, so that should be up in the next couple of weeks. If there's anyone left reading this after all these years, let me know what you think and as always, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

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**Our Story**

_Chapter Twenty Three: Gippal_

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As soon as she said the word "Juyane", I winced. I couldn't help it. It was an ugly memory – something I'd shoved to the back of my mind and tried to forget about. That was, until Cid had found out about me and Rikku, and Juyane had become a convenient little bargaining tool.

But wait – how did Rikku know? Had Cid told her? No – there was no way. He hadn't had the chance; things had been fine between me and Rikku before Lreav had taken her and it's not like even Cid would have gone barrelling into his unconscious daughter's room just to gloat about her boyfriend's little indiscretion. But if not Cid, then who? Brother? Buddy? Paine, Baralai or Nooj?

And more importantly – what the hell with this overreaction? Sure, I'd never thought Rikku would be thrilled to find out about Juyane, but this was just … well it was bordering on insane. I'd never seen Rikku like this before – so angry that she was almost beyond reason. So wild and untouchable and obviously in pain. Dressed only in a loose gown; golden hair floating around her face in a twisted and tangled cloud; bare feet tucked up under her, like a child seeking comfort … it was frightening. When I'd seen her standing in the doorway, I'd been so relieved that she was awake, but now - she just seemed so broken that it almost hurt to look at her. This wasn't the Rikku I'd fallen in love with; this was some kind of weird, twisted simulacrum, wearing her face. I'd expected her to be upset about Lreav – who wouldn't be, when they'd been forced to take a life? - but that wasn't enough to explain this complete transformation, surely? And even if this was despair about Lreav, why was she directing everything at me?

"So you're not even going to try to deny it? Well I guess we're making progress then."

I'd waited too long and the caustic comment stung my ears, but her words continued to make no sense. "Why would I lie about Juyane? Someone's obviously told you what happened … and besides, it's not that big a deal. I would have preferred to tell you myself, explain everythin' you know, but to be honest, I'm kinda relieved you found out. Your dad was havin' too much fun holding that little secret over my head."

"So he did know."

I frowned at her, worried by the distressed look on her face. "Well, yeah. 'Course he did. He was right in the middle of the whole mess."

Rikku shook her head slowly. She was shaking, I noticed, and not just her hands, but her whole body. I wanted to put my arms around her, but if the previous few minutes were anything to go by, she wouldn't really appreciate the gesture. "I can't believe he didn't tell me."

"I said I would. Listen, Rikku, this isn't just about Juyane, is it? Is it Lreav? What happened … well you know it wasn't your fault, right? You had no choice. There was no other way to end it. I would have done it for you if I could, but you shouldn't feel guilty or anythin'. That guy – he wasn't Lreav anymore. Lreav died a long time ago. You just – you just drew a line under his life."

"He was the only one who was honest with me, did you know that? Funny, isn't it. That it took a man loosing his mind for me to learn the truth."

The truth – wait a minute, _Lreav_ had told Rikku about Juyane? Well yeah, that was feasible. He'd known the story – had been there for some of it. But why would he tell Rikku?

It was like something had clicked into place in my brain. Why would Lreav tell Rikku about Juyane? There was no logic reason … unless you considered his obsession with my girlfriend and his hatred of me. And what better way to make sure that he left behind a rift between us, than to fill her in on all the dirty little details about my mistake?

But that still didn't explain the extent of Rikku's reaction. Unless … unless Lreav had embroidered the truth. Unless he'd lied about what had happened. It was a wild thought, but it made a crazy kind of sense. Lreav must have known he was beaten, that he was facing the end. But his hatred of me was all consuming – his actions had shown that. And the thought of Rikku with me – well it must have driven him mad. So yeah, why not tell her about Juyane, but twist things just enough to keep them credible but make them seem ten times worse?

"Lreav told you about Juyane did he?" I pushed urgently. "Well what exactly did he say?"

"Why would you ask that?" Rikku was suspicious, drawing in on herself. She wrapped her shaking hands around her knees, and hunched her shoulders. She was obviously in a certain amount of pain, but whatever was going through her mind had been enough to drive her here and keep her alert and focused … dammit, what the hell had Lreav said to her to cause this?

"Because – Rikku, what did he say? Just tell me!"

Her green eyes were like two narrow points of light, boring into me. "He told me everything. About how you met; how you seduced her and got her pregnant; how you dumped her like trash when you found out about the baby. How you ran off to fight in the Crimson Squad, leaving her to give birth to your child alone. And how both she and the baby were killed when Home was attacked." Her mouth twisted into a mockery of a smile. "How am I doing so far? Accurate enough for you?"

"Not really."

Even though I had been expecting it, hearing Lreav's twist on the tale left me cold. Because this, more than anything else, proved just how much he had hated me. To be so clever and manipulative, so close to end – not for the first time, I wished I'd had the pleasure of killing him, rather than having that burden placed on Rikku as well.

She'd only ever been a pawn in this game between me and Lreav. Tricked and betrayed at every turn; I almost understand why I'd become the focus for her rage. With Lreav dead, who else was there? And with the story about Juyane …

A face swam into my mind, young and pretty, with short dark hair and a wicked smile. A lot like Rikku in a way, at least on the surface. We'd had a good time, me and Juyane – at least before her jealous and manipulative streak had reared it's ugly head, and sent everything spiralling downwards. If she'd known then that her actions then would still be affecting me now, would she have held her lies back behind that pretty smile?

"Don't lie to me. Don't you sit there and lie to me! I _know_, Gippal. And I don't even care – I just need to understand how you could do that to someone you were in love with. And the baby, Spira Gippal – your own baby! What kind of a person does something like that? How could I love – how could I feel _anything_ for you, knowing what you're capable of? And what if it happened to me – would you do the same thing? Abandon me to death and run off, like you've no kind of responsibility –"

I held up my hands. "Woah, woah, just wait a minute, won't you? Take a deep breath – let me explain – Look, there was no baby, okay? Juyane made the whole thing up … why are you shakin' your head?"

"Because you're just lying to me again! I can't stand this anymore, Gippal. _Just tell me the truth_!"

"Alright!" I shouted, voice rising over hers. "Alright, you want the truth? Here's the truth. I had sex with Juyane. She was just a kid – she didn't have much experience – and I still had sex with her. I screwed up, okay? I was – I was kinda wild back then. Did what I liked and damn the consequences. But I knew enough to realise what I was doin' was stupid, and irresponsible, so that's why I broke things off with her. Only Juyane didn't like that at all. She ran cryin' to her daddy, who just happened to be a mate of Cid's, tellin' stories about how I'd taken advantage of her and how I'd cruelly abandoned her when I'd found out she was pregnant. Which just made the whole blew up in my face. You ever wondered why I joined the Crimson Squad? You can thank your dear old pops for that – he made life hell for me on Bikanel. And Juyane – with her ultimatums. I knew she was lyin', _she _knew she was lyin', but she still wouldn't admit it. Said I needed to be taught a lesson. Maybe I did, I don't know. But that wasn't the way to do it.

"So I left. And you know what? I'd been gone only a month before Juyane finally gave up and told the truth. Didn't warrant an apology from your dad, or anyone else, but it was enough for me. I was well shot of Bikanel by that time. Which turned out to be a good thing when Home was attacked. Because I wasn't there – but Juyane was. And they killed her."

I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back from my forehead and giving myself a chance to breathe. It had been a long time since I'd talked about Juyane with anyone – and it's never easy to face up to mistakes that you make in life.

"I'm not a saint, Rikku. I slept with the wrong person and yeah, maybe I took advantage of her and acted like an thoughtless idiot. But I didn't get her pregnant, and I didn't have anythin' to do with her death. You wanna take that out on someone, then talk to the Guado. Don't get mad with me about somethin' that was over before we even met."

I chanced a look at her. She looked … uncertain. Like part of her wanted to believe me, but a stronger part of her needed to cling to the idea that I was the bad guy.

"You're lying," she accused, her words lacking conviction.

I shook my head. "I'm not, Rikku. I'm really not. You don't believe me – ask your da. He'll only be too happy to fill you in on all the gory little details, but the facts of the story will be the same. There was no baby. Juyane was never pregnant. _She _was the one who lied, not me."

"But – but Lreav …"

" … told you what he knew would hurt us the most. Don't you see, Rikku? What better way to get revenge than to mislead you like this?"

"But he said …"

"I know, honey. _He lied_."

Rikku held my gaze for a few more moments, opening her mouth to reply and then slowly closing it again. I could literally see the moment when the realisation came to her that I was telling the truth; the anger left her face, only to be replaced be such deep, soul-wrenching anguish that I cursed Lreav all over again.

She covered her face with her hands and her shoulders started shaking uncontrollably. I didn't hesitate; I reached out and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist. She resisted at first and then relaxed back against my body, her arms winding around my neck. I just held her close, rubbing her back through the thin robe, as her silent tears soaked into my top.

"I'm sorry, Rikku," I said at length, when she stopped shaking and just clung to me. "If I'd been honest about Juyane from the start – if I'd just told you – then none of this would have happened. I guess … I guess I screwed up again."

"It might still have believe him," she said unexpectedly, voice muffled by my shoulder. "He was … very convincing."

Something in her tone sent a shiver of ice down my spine. "Rikku, he didn't … did Lreav do anythin' to you?" I asked carefully. "Anythin' – anythin' bad …?"

She shook her head and I blew out of breath. "I think he would have. That's why – I ran. I ran from him. Tried to escape, but he came after me. Out into the snow. And I …"

"You don't have to say it."

She drew back from me then. Her eyes were red and she wiped her hand across her nose. "Yes I do," she said quietly.

"Rikku …"

"I killed him. I shot him and he died. It was … it was really slow, you know? I wish it'd been quick, but he – he took a long time to die." She looked away. "I'm never gonna forget the expression on his face when I shot him."

"I wish I could have done it for you." The words sounded so hollow, so inadequate. At least they were honest – I thought she would appreciate that.

"I just feel so guilty," she whispered, wiping a hand across her face again.

"Rikku, hey, look at me. You lookin' at me? Good. Okay, well you just remember everythin' that Lreav did, yeah? All the people he killed. What he did to us. You aint got nothin' to feel sorry about. You did the world a favour."

She turned her head away again. "He was your friend once. Don't you … don't you feel anything?"

"I'm glad he's dead, if that's what you mean." I put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up so that I could look into her eyes. "'Cause Rikku, you gotta understand, he stopped bein' my friend the instant he took you and Yuna. He stopped bein' Lreav. Like I said before, that guy on the mountain – that wasn't Lreav. Not really. Come on, you knew him, didn't you? When we were all back on the Melatha? Well that was the closest to the real Lreav that you ever saw. By the time Gagazet rolled around, there was nothin' of that left."

She closed her eyes for a moment – remembering Lreav, trying to find something to support my words, I don't know. But whatever she saw was lost when her body suddenly went limp and she fell against my chest.

"Rikku?" Her eyelashes fluttered and her eyes half opened as I shifted her weight in my lap. "Rikku, you still with me?"

"I … I think I need to lie down."

She was paler than the robe she was wearing; the dark circles under her eyes standing out prominently against her white skin. Ignoring any protests, I scooped her up in my arms and stood, moved carefully across the door and kicked it open.

Not surprisingly, the corridor outside was teaming with people. Only Yuna and Tidus were absent; but judging how pale she'd been during the meeting, that wasn't too surprising. Nor was the fact that Cid bore down upon me like some kind of avenging angel, his face almost purple with rage. I managed to get in before he could bellow at me. "I'm takin' her back to the healers. She's exhausted."

"I'll go with you," Baralai said quietly and I shot him a grateful look. We side-stepped Cid and hurried down the corridor before he could launch a protest.

When we reached Rikku's room, Elhandra was standing in the doorway. I didn't know why she was there and her expression gave nothing away, but just seeing her was enough to remind me that there was a third person that Lreav's actions that affected more than most. I'd have to talk to her eventually; even after everything, Lreav had still been her brother.

She stepped aside without a word as I entered the room and laid Rikku carefully down on the bed. Baralai went around to the other side and laid his hand on her forehead, his eyes turning inwards for a moment. "She'll be okay," he said after a few moments. "You were right – she's just exhausted. And in a lot of pain. I should be able to do something about that …"

I slumped into the chair next to her bed as Baralai concentrated. I'm not sure what he did, but the lines of pain on Rikku's face seemed to fade and she was definitely breathing more easily by the time Baralai moved away from the bed.

As he made to leave, I reached up and caught his sleeve. "Hey, thanks."

"It's nothing." He paused and bit his lip. "Forgive me if I speak out of turn, but about what happened before, with Rikku … is everything alright now?"

I watched her sleeping peacefully. "I don't know. There are things … it hasn't been easy."

"Lreav?"

"Yeah."

He was silent for a moment. "Well, if you ever want to talk …?"

"Thanks, Baralai."

* * *

I stayed in Rikku's room all afternoon. I tried to tell myself it was because it was quiet and peaceful, but if I'm honest, I didn't want to let her out of my sight. Every time I'd done that recently, bad things had happened. And I'm not a guy for tempting fate.

Besides, it gave me time to work on my speech. Because weirdly enough, in some twisted, horrific, alternative reality kind of way, Lreav had done me a favour when he'd lied to Rikku about Juyane. It was what Baralai and Nooj had been trying to tell me – about taking responsibility. If I'd only acted responsibly with Juyane in the first place, then her lies would never have been needed. And if I'd acted responsibility with Rikku and just told her everything upfront, then I could have spared her some of the pain and confusion that Lreav had caused.

And it wasn't just about responsibility – it was about truth too. Somehow the two seemed to have become intertwined in my life, and if Baralai and Nooj where right, and my just telling the truth about Lreav could help stop the brewing war, then who was I to say no? I might not like being so honest in front of complete strangers – quite frankly it stank – but all of this with Rikku felt like my wakeup call and somehow, my own pride and comfort didn't seem so important anymore. I was never going to be Mr Responsible, but it just seemed that making this speech was the least I could do.

The problem was that even when I had made up my mind to do it, the words didn't exactly start flowing. I've always been good with talking – and improvising – but I've never really been a scholar. I've always had Baralai for that – he was the book-loving guy. I'd never been interested in books, even when I had easy access to them back on Bikanel. It's not really an Al Bhed thing, reading. I'm not saying we're uneducated – we just prefer working with our hands to using them to turn a page.

I looked down at the paper in my lap. It was covered with notes, but nothing that resembled a proper speech. Nothing that resembled anything, to be honest. I briefly toyed with the idea of paying Baralai to write it for me, but no – somehow I guessed that would be kind of missing the point.

My eyes traced one particular word, picked out in dark ink and circled several times.

Lreav = revenge.

That's what it all came down to, after all. That's why all those people had died; why Lhan and Yuna and Rikku had been put through so much. Because I'd been involved in the accident that had killed Lreav's ma, and he'd been unable to cope with that. Because he'd built up this obsession in his mind about me, and because he'd tried to poison each and every part of my life.

I screwed the piece of paper up and tossed it onto the floor. More than anything, I wish it'd been me out there on Gagazet, not Rikku. And not just to spare her the pain of having to shoot someone she'd once cared about, no. Because really, what I'd said to (????) had been true; I wish I'd been the one to kill him. I wish I'd been able to stand there and watch his face as the life drained out of it. He'd tried to take _everything_ from me, and somehow, his death all those hundreds of miles away made me feel … kinda cheated. There were so many questions I still wanted to ask him – things I need to know. Like how he had justified pinning all that blame on a nine-year-old child. And how he could have treated Lhan like that, the only person who had never betrayed him. And most of all, what the bloody hell I'd ever done to deserve all this crap.

In the bed beside me, Rikku stirred. She'd been asleep for hours, her body desperately in need of rest, but now she rolled over onto one side and opened her eyes.

"Hey."

"Hi." She blinked at me and pushed a wayward strand off her forehead. The movement was slow, but at least her hand wasn't shaking anymore. I shifted in my chair so that I was facing her. "How are you feeling?"

Her face scrunched up in thought. "Okay … I still kinda ache but it's – it's not as bad as before."

"That's – that's good." Spira, I sounded so inadequate. I tried again. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too."

"And … the other stuff?"

She looked down at the sheet that was covering her. It was blue and green, with a New Yevon symbol in the top corner. She stroked the symbol with one finger. "I don't really know."

I stared at the top of her bowed head and waited, but she didn't say anything else. After a few more moments, I leaned across and captured her hand. "Rikku … you know that I told the truth, don't you? About Juyane, I mean."

Her hand stilled. I thought she was going to pull away, but she just lay there, eyes on the sheet.

"Rikku?"

" … I just … I think I need some time." Now she did pull away, but only to help push herself upright. And she looked straight at me, green eyes level and cool. "I need to get things straight in my head. Lreav –" She swallowed and tried again. "Lreav – what I did, what he said … everything's just so confusing right now, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." I smiled wryly, trying to lighten the mood. "I gotta write this speech."

"So you're really going to do that?"

I'd forgotten that Rikku had overheard the end of my conversation with Baralai, Nooj and the others. "Um, yeah, I reckon so. I mean, if it helps end the war then I should … shouldn't I?"

"No one else should get hurt over this," she said darkly, eyes un-focusing slightly.

"Rikku – "

"I'm okay." She nodded, as if to convince herself, then repeated the words softly, "I'm okay."

_Are you?_ I wondered. She was calmer, certainly, and more rational. But there was still a darkness behind her eyes, and she seemed – uncertain somehow. Something told me that it would be a good while before she was really "okay" again.

"So what else has been happening here?"

The question caught me by surprise. "Uh – well, not much, really. Things were pretty busy for a while after you and Yuna – but then when we found you again, well it's just all been about the war really." I scratched the side of my nose. "The others were dealin' with that … I've mostly been here."

"Really?"

It was hard to read her expression, so I opted for caution. "Yeah. Where else would I be?"

"I don't know – I guess …" She broke off and took a deep breath. "I really think I need some time."

Although she'd said it before, it was only now that I really realised what she was saying. "You mean time away from me, don't you?"

She hung her head. "I'm sorry, Gippal. I just … I can't do this right now. Being here with you – thinking about Lreav …"

It was my turn to be quiet. I got what she was saying – I'm not an idiot – but it didn't make it any easier to hear. After the kidnap and then her being unconscious, we hadn't had any time together for weeks. And now that she was back, she just wanted to be left alone?

"Okay, I get it." I turned away from her and stood up, my spine popping audibly as I stretched. "Let me know when you're ready to talk."

"Gippal –"

"You know, Rikku – I get it, I really do. But while you were out there fightin' for your life and dealin' with Lreav, I was stuck here not knowing if you were alive or dead. I spent ages tryin' to find you and then when you finally did return, you're believin' some lie of Lreav's and layin' into to me like I'm Sin reincarnated. So I'm sorry if maybe I find that bein' told to shove off because you "need time" is just a tiny bit annoyin'."

I think my words shocked us both. I hadn't meant to be so blunt, but hey, I've never been one to pull punches either. And to be honest, I kinda think I had a point. Rikku wasn't the only one had been effected by all of this. Maybe she should start recognising that.

Of course, then I had to go and look at her again, which made me feel like the world's biggest jerk. "Oh hell, Rikku, I didn't mean that."

"Yeah you did. And maybe you're right. But I can't – I can't deal with anyone else's problems right now Gippal, I'm sorry. I have to focus on myself. I –"

" 'Need time', yeah I know."

Our eyes locked; hers, full of sadness and worry and pain; mine, probably full of frustration and regret. She held out her hand. "Come here."

I obeyed without question, perching on the edge of her bed. She laid her hand on my cheek and stroked the skin.

"I'm sorry," I said foolishly.

Her mouth curved into a shadow of a smile, and then she leaned forward and kissed me. It was a brief kiss; just a brushing of lips really, but it was the first proper contact we'd had in weeks and I clung to it like some kind of lifeline. I would have deepened it if she'd have let me, but she pulled back after a couple of breaths.

"I guess … I'll be goin' now."

"Yeah." She sank back down against her pillows, turning so her face was away from me. I hovered there for a few more moments and then heaved myself up and made for the door.

"Gippal," she called as I pulled on the door handle and the door swung open. I looked over my shoulder, but her back was still facing me.

"Thanks."

* * *

"_I'm not one for makin' speeches. It's not that I don't like talkin' or anythin' – anyone who knows me will tell you that's a lie. It's just that I'm not what you'd called eloquent. This ain't gonna sound like some stirring call to arms from your Meyvon Nooj, or some fancy speech from your Praetor Baralai. And it certainly ain't gonna come close to any of Lady Yuna's offerin's. But it is gonna be the truth. Because you deserve to hear it. Because as – as private as some of this stuff is, it's spilled over onto all of you. My mess has become Spira's mess – and that shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry. And maybe this – tellin' the truth – maybe this'll be enough to change thin's. Help put thin's back together again. Stop this fight that's brewin'. Because I don't think any of us really want another war, do we? And I'd hate for this to be the excuse for one, so … so here goes. The truth. From the one guy who can tell it. I hope – well I hope it makes some kind of difference._

"_The guy who's responsible for all of this, his name is Lreav. He is – he _was_ my step-brother. When we were kids, I was involved in an accident that killed my dad and stepma. Lreav, I didn't know it then, but he became obsessed with his ma's death. Started lookin' for some one to blame. Started lookin' for revenge. And he found me._

"_This whole situation – the bombings in Guadosalam, the destruction of Kilika, Lady Yuna's kidnapping, it was all part of Lreav's quest for revenge against me. It was never anythin' more than that, only Lreav didn't care that the whole world got caught in the crossfire. I'm sorry for that. This wasn't your fight … and it shouldn't have come to this._

"_Look, Lreav wasn't a victim and he wasn't a martyr, and I refuse to let you turn him into one. You want to have a war? Then fine, have a war. But don't use Lreav's actions as an excuse, because they weren't meant for you. They were the results of a guy who couldn't deal with his grief and let it spill out and affect everythin' he touched._

"_And I guess … I guess that's all I really want to say. At least you know what happened now; you know why innocent people died and why all the old hatreds have been stirred up ago. Because ten years ago, a frightened little boy lost his mother and didn't know how to cope in a world without her. Nothin' more than that. This isn't about war, or even race. It's just about grief. And I don't know about you guys, but I think we've all seen enough of that to last a lifetime. So maybe we should let this one go and concentrate on gettin' things back on track instead of tearin' each other apart._

"_At the end of the day, I guess it's up to you."_


	25. Chapter Twenty Four: Rikku

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Well this is officially the last proper chapter of Our Story - and fittingly, it's the longest so far. There will be an epilogue to follow in a few weeks, just to tie up those last few loose ends, but after that, this story will have come to a close. I think I might have mentioned plans for a few follow-up stories; the first of these is tentatively entitled "Elhandra's Story" and will be a one-shot focusing on Elhandra in the aftermath of the events of Our Story (it will basically serve as the third story in the series). I also have future plans to write something focusing more on Rikku and Gippal's relationship now that the Lreav storyline has finally come to an end (no, he's not going to pop up again at any point - sorry guys!) and that is likely to be a multi-chaptered story and part four of the overall series. And finally, I'm toying the idea of writing what will basically be "Lreav's Story" and will tell the events of Rikku's Story and Our Story from Lreav's point of view (part five of the series). But all of these ideas are very much WIPs and might not appear for a long time yet, so please check my profile page for any updates, or feel free to email me with any questions.

And finally, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter (and indeed the whole story). Thanks for sticking with me and please let me know what you think of this, the penultimate chapter!

**_

* * *

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**Our Story**

_Chapter Twenty Four: Rikku_

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* * *

_**

Gippal was true to his word. I didn't see much of him for the next few weeks. Passed him a couple of times in the corridor, watched him on the monitor when he made his speech, but apart from that, it was like he wasn't even there. Like we weren't together.

And although it was what I'd asked for – and although I knew it was what I needed, I couldn't help missing him. He'd become such an integral part of my life without my even knowing it, and now, when he wasn't around, I felt his absence. It was almost scary, being so dependent on someone else. Especially after everything that had happened. Lreav, Juyane, even Elhandra … sometimes I thought it was a mess that we'd never be able to get to the bottom of.

Time supposed to be this great healer, right? Well I don't know about that. I felt a bit more stable over the weeks, but I still had the same questions. The same fears. I still wasn't sure how to feel about Juyane. Or what I'd done to Lreav. And at the centre of it all was the guy I was avoiding, who also happened to be the one person I really wanted to see.

He wasn't the only one who was keeping his distance either. My outburst in the meeting had ruffled a few feathers, because sympathetic looks had become a matter of course and there was a definite "hushed" edge to the voices of those people who actually spoke to me. They obviously figured I was going through some kind of trauma and felt it was safer to give me a wide berth. Even my friends didn't seem to know what to say or do: Paine had stayed for five minutes and then hurried off, claiming she had some kind of "meeting" and even Brother had stuck his head around the door and then promptly pulled it back again.

The only person that my behaviour didn't deter was my cousin. Yuna came to see me the morning after my conversation with Gippal. I was sitting at the table in my room at the time, contemplating a bowl of something that could kindly be referred to as rice. It was some kind of special, healthy-living food that was supposed to help people who had been ill to regain their strength. I hadn't had the energy to complain when the New Yevon priest had handed it to me with a quiet, "Try and eat it all" and besides, even I had to admit that I'd lost too much weight recently. The problem was, it lacked any kind of taste as I was just wondering if I could get away with emptying it into the plant pot, when a knock sounded on my doorframe and I looked up to see Yuna standing there.

Apart from the brief moments after I'd burst into their meeting, this was the first time I'd seen her since Lreav's attack. My first instinct was to jump up and throw my arms around here, just to convince myself that she was here, she was real and she was okay.

But something held my back. There was an air of uncertainly between us that I was reluctant to breach. So much had happened – maybe too much for us – and although it hurt me to contemplate the notion, maybe this time things couldn't just snap back into place.

I studied her closely, eyes taking in those familiar features and unconsciously checking for any sign of injury. Dressed in nothing more fancy than a loose pair of dark trousers and a pale blue shirt, I was suddenly struck by how young she looked. Over the years, I'd become so used to seeing Yuna as the Lady Summoner, always perfectly attired with that serene smile safely in place. Now that façade was gone and she was just Yuna. My cousin and best friend certainly, but still just a girl, barely into her early twenties. And one who had suffered just as much as me at the hands of the man I'd killed.

"You're eating. That's a good sign."

Her words were hesitant, as if she didn't quite know what to say to me and was seeking some kind of common ground. I knew how she felt and hated it. Yuna and I had never been anything but honest and open with each other, and now we were acting like virtual strangers!

I held up the bowl, revealing it's white, mushy contents. "I'm not sure this can qualify as food."

"They do have somewhat … basic tastes here."

"Guess old Yevon must be missing a taste bud or two." I put the bowl back down and pushed it away from me, with more force than I intended. It teetered on the edge of the table and I had to slide a hand out to catch it. "Need to be more careful," I murmured, moving the bowl into the centre of the table. We both stared at it for a moment, and then I thrust away from the table, crossed the floor in a couple of unsteady steps and threw my arms around Yuna.

She held me tightly, face buried in my shoulder, hands encircling my back. I think she let herself go then; she let the tears come and we clung to each other. Holding her felt so real – reassured me that she really was okay. I was finally able to dispel that horrible image of Yuna lying on the ground, blood slowly turning her wedding dress from white to red. She was here; she was alive; she was safe and whole. And nothing was going to hurt us again.

At length, she pulled back from me and wiped her eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered, unconsciously echoing Gippal's words of the day before. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't – if you'd…"

"You're not the only one." I tried for a smile and half managed one. "When Lreav took me – it was agony. Not knowing if you were alive or dead –" I broke off and took a deep breath. "But you survived. You're here and you're okay."

"I'm okay," she echoed, but her words lacked conviction. I looked more closely at her face. Uncomfortable under my probing, she turned her head away.

"Yunie, what is it?"

She didn't reply.

A horrible realisation crept slowly over me, inky and black and evil. It couldn't be – she couldn't have … no, no she would have said – I would have been able to tell. And she wouldn't have just been sitting calmly in that meeting, like nothing was wrong –

But Yuna was nothing but a consummate actress, one who was used to putting the fate of the world before her own. Sitting in that meeting with this knowledge weighing down on her was exactly the kind of thing she _would_ do.

I touched her arm, fingers grazing her sleeve. "Yunie … what happened with the baby?"

Her body stilled, and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to reply. When her voice did come, it sounded odd. "Nothing. Nothing happened." She whirled back around then, a bright smile fixed on her face. "You know what we should do? Your hair. I hate to say this, but it's looks awful. Come here."

Before I could protest, she dragged me across to the table and pushed me into one of the chairs. Where she got the hairbrush from I don't know, but moments later she was tugging it through my unruly mop, tutting when it got snarled in a particularly large tangle.

I winced and tried to grab the brush from her. "Stop that," she ordered. "Just give me a minute – ah, there we go!"

"Yunie –"

"Anyone would you think you haven't brushed this in months …"

"I didn't exactly have a full beauty kit with me when I was being kidnapped," I returned sarcastically, my frustration at her refusal to talk making my tongue unusually sharp.

The brush faltered. "No, I suppose not," Yuna murmured. She drew my curtain of hair back into a tail and started brushing with renewed vigour. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out.

Only after she'd braided the front of my hair and pulled the rest back behind a headband did Yuna pause. She'd come around in front of me to assess her work and I took the chance to grab hold of her hands and pull the conversation back on track. "Yunie, talk to me. Please. Tell me about the baby."

Her eyes met mine and the pain in them made me want to cry. I knew then what her answer was going to be.

"Okay. Just … can we go for a walk? I think we could both do with some fresh air."

We headed out of my room, Yuna leading the way. I wasn't sure where she was going – all the corridors looked the same to me – but after a couple of minutes, we emerged into a small, open courtyard. It was really beautiful, with archways of stone, beds overflowing with flowers and plants and a marble fountain ringed by stone benches. It literally took my breath way. You know when you find something amazing in the middle of mundane normality? Well it was just like that.

"What is this place?"

The delight on my face brought the ghost of a smile to hers. "I'm not sure. I found it last week and, well, I like it here. It's peaceful."

"Yeah." I followed her into the garden. Being a child of Bikanel Island, I've always had a bit of a fascination with water and the fountain drew my like a magnet. It was really simple under closer inspection, just a jet of water coming from the centre of a shallow bowl. But pretty, and entrancing. I sat down on one of the stone benches and watched the water fall.

Yuna joined me, folding her hands neatly in her lap. After a few minutes of silence, she cleared her throat.

"It's not what you think."

A handful of water splashed across the edge of the bowl. "You mean you haven't –"

"Lost the baby? No."

"Then …?"

"There was no baby. I was never pregnant."

I digested that information slowly. No baby – the one possibility I hadn't really considered. I mean, I knew that Yuna had only suspected she was pregnant, but still, I'd just assumed – wow. I toyed with end of one of my braids, not really sure what to say. I was relieved beyond belief that Lreav's attack hadn't caused a miscarriage, but Yuna still seemed so distant and upset that she had me worried.

"Yunie …"

"I'm okay." The words sounded like a mantra, like, if she said them enough times, she'd start believing them. Not sure what else to do, I put my arm around her. She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my cheek.

"I just … I feel like I've lost something. Which is silly, really. How can you lose something that you never had to begin with?"

I had no answer for her. "Does Tidus know?"

She shook her head. "I didn't think there was any need. He's been through enough already."

The answer surprised me. Yuna and Tidus were the most open couple I knew – they told each other _everything_. "I think you should tell him."

"There's no need," she repeated softly. "There's no need."

I wanted to protest, but thought better of it. While I couldn't completely understand what she was feeling, I knew that Yuna need my support, not my arguments. And so we just sat there quietly, watching the fountain and listening to the sound of the water as it cascaded into the basin.

* * *

There was one more conversation that stuck in my head over those weeks. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't seek out my dad, to ask him about Juyane. After all, relationships were built on trust, and if Gippal and I had any chance of a future, then I had to trust him, didn't I? Which meant I had to accept what he had told me about Juyane as being the absolute truth.

And honestly, when I thought about it a bit more, I knew he was telling the truth. Everything he'd said made sense, and yet … and yet I just couldn't quite silence that last little niggle of doubt.

Which is why I sought my dad out, the day before he was due to leave. He was heading back to Bikanel Island, to talk to the leaders there and hopefully calm things down a bit. My dad, the diplomat. It would have been laughable if the situation wasn't so serious. Gippal's speech or not, there was still a general sense that Spira was living on a knife-edge. Yuna, Nooj and Baralai had a lot of work ahead of them and everyone was helping out wherever they could.

My dad was busy barking orders when I stepped onto his ship and into the middle of chaos. Al Bhed swarmed all over the bridge while Cid stood in the centre, conducting them like some bizarre orchestral master. Brother stood by his side, his arms firmly folded and a sullen expression on his face. Buddy, standing slightly behind both of them, looked like he was fighting to keep a smile off his face.

He spotted me first and wound his way across the floor to join me in the doorway. "Hey, kiddo."

I gave him a hug. I've always liked Buddy; as stupid as my brother can be sometimes, he has good taste in friends. "I need to speak to my dad."

Brother raised an eyebrow. "Good luck with that. Actually, maybe you could help. Brother looks like he's about to explode."

"Dad taking over again?"

"Something like that. Listen, how are you doing?"

I shrugged. "I'm okay."

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't push it either.

My dad's bellow almost deafened us, cutting through the hum of the bridge and making a passing Al Bhed drop his box of tools and curse. "What are ya doin' out of bed, little girl?"

"Hi, Pops." I was engulfed in another hug, this one bigger and stronger, almost to the point of suffocation. Ironic really; I survive being kidnapped and almost murdered, only to be smothered by my own dad.

"Should you be just strollin' around like this?" he demanded, fixing me with his beady eyes.

"I'm okay, Pops." I gave him a bright smile. "Honestly."

"You aint okay by a long shot! Runnin' around and gettin' yourself half frozen to death on a mountain side –"

"That wasn't exactly my fault," I protested.

He dismissed my words with a wave of his hand. "Well if you're well enough to be up and about, young lady, then you're well enough to be comin' back to Bikanel with the rest of us. We're leavin' within the hour. Think you can be packed by then?"

I sighed inwardly. It wasn't the first time that my dad had mentioned this idea. He seemed to think that I needed "looking after". Never mind the fact that I'd been doing pretty well for the last four years; no, now I needed parental guidance and protection.

"Pops, I'm not coming back to the island with you."

He glared at me, face red. "Like hell you aint! I gotta keep an eye on you, girl. How am I s'posed to do that from half way across the world?"

"I don't need looking after!"

"Says who?"

Buddy, forgotten besides us, shifted uncomfortably. "I'm, um, gonna go help Brother with … something …" He fled without even bothering to finish the sentence.

I took a deep breath in the ensuing silence. "Pops, I didn't come here to argue. I actually … I wanted to ask you about something."

Cid eyed me suspiciously.

I cast a despairing look around the room. "Can we go somewhere quieter?"

My dad still didn't look please, but at least he turned and waved his arm, attracting Brother's attention. "Carry on with restocking the supplies!" he yelled, much to my brother's obvious disgust. "I got business." Then he practically frog-marched me out of the room and into the elevator at the end of the gangway. Moments later we stepped out onto the deck and he rounded on me. "Well?"

I wandered across to the edge of the deck and peered over. The view from up here was spectacular; Spira spread out before me like some kind of elaborate patchwork quilt. Looking at something like that, it was so easy to forget about everything that had happened. There was no pain, no war. No grief or loss. Just landscape and life.

"Rikku?"

My dad's never been the most patient man and I could tell that he wasn't going to wait much longer. Besides, I was just procrastinating anyway. Putting off the inevitable. I'd got him up here; it wasn't like I wasn't going ask.

So I bit the bullet and plunged straight in. "I want you to tell me about Gippal and Juyane."

He blinked at me, liked I'd just slapped him or something. Seriously, I'd never seen my dad so taken aback before. He recovered quickly enough, but I still knew I'd surprised him.

"Finally told you has he?" he grunted. " 'Bout time."

"Yeah, yeah he told me."

"But you don't believe him?" Cid asked shrewdly.

I looked away. "I just wanna know the truth."

"Thought he'd told you truth."

"Pops," I cried, "please, just tell me what you know, okay?"

He came and stood beside me, gazing out across the world. "Truth is, I don't like your boyfriend – but I think you already know that. Truth is that he's an immature waster, who likes to screw around and damned the consequences." I felt his eyes turn towards me. "But I think you already know that as well."

This was nothing knew. I'd always known that my dad had a low opinion of Gippal – he'd made that blatantly obvious. But I'd never known why before … was it because of Juyane?

"Juyane was a kid when Gippal took up with her. Then when he'd had his way with her, he dumped her like a piece of dirt. She kicked up some stink about being pregnant – caused a right old uproar - and he ran off instead of facing up to his responsibilities." Cid paused, before adding, "Of course, it turned out the girl was lying about all of it – but that don't change anythin' in my eyes. He still acted like an idiot, which is why I don't want him anywhere near my daughter."

I could have kissed him right then. Those words, those angry and bitter words had confirmed what I'd been hoping for – what I'd known all along, if I was honest. That Lreav really had been lying; that Gippal, while foolish and immature at times, hadn't abandoned his pregnant girlfriend, that the only reason he hadn't told me about the whole Juyane mess was because he hadn't wanted me to think he was a bad person.

It didn't solve all of my problems, this knowledge. I wasn't so naïve as to think that. But it did change things. I felt like this huge weight had been lifted off me. I wanted to spin around, to sing and dance. It was euphoric, the truth. The knowledge that it was okay to trust Gippal. To love him. Lreav had _lied_. _He had lied to me_.

And Gippal, albeit reluctantly, had told me the truth.

I grabbed my dad and hugged him tightly, surprising him once again. "Thanks, Pops," I whispered, pressing a kiss against his bristly cheek.

He drew back but held onto my shoulders. "You're gonna go talk to him now, aint ya?"

I smiled, and for the first time in weeks, it felt genuine. "Yeah. I kinda think I am."

Cid sighed gustily. "And I can't change your mind?"

"Nope."

He looked resigned. I think he'd finally realised that I'd inherited his strong will and there was no way he was going to win this argument. "You know that if he _ever_ hurts you again – "

" – _You'll kill him in an inventive and painstaking way_. Yeah Pops, I'll pass the message on. Again."

"I mean it this time."

"I know, Pops. You always do."

* * *

Gippal wasn't in his room. In stood in the centre of it, hands on hips, feeling somehow cheated. I'd come here straight from talking to my dad – all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to finally sort things out with Gippal – and he wasn't damn well here, was he?

I huffed, and rocked back on my heels. It was pretty inconsiderate of him, to be honest. Here I was, ready to bare my soul, and there he was, nowhere to be found. He could have at least had the decency to be here! Didn't he care about our relationship at all?

Not sure what else to do, I wandered across his room and started picking things up at random. Seeing as this was just a temporary residence for most of us, there wasn't a lot to play with. A couple of pieces of machina, a photoframe displaying an idyllic picture of the Calm Lands – somehow I didn't think that was Gippal's – and a handful of spare change. I picked up the two pieces of machina and weighed them in my hands.

"Are you going to throw those at my head?"

I jumped and one of the machina clattered to the floor. Gippal was lounging in the doorway, dressed casually, arms folded across his chest and an unreadable expression on his face. How long had he been there?

"You're in my room."

I felt suddenly nervous. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"I thought you didn't wanna see me. That you needed … _space_."

I shifted my weight awkwardly. Gippal wasn't making this easy for me. "I had a lot to sort out, you know."

"And have you? Sorted everything out, I mean?"

Had I? No, not really. Life doesn't fix itself that easily; you can't just solve all your problems with a couple of conversations. But I had got certain things straightened out in my mind. "Things are … clearer now."

He nodded slowly, a slight smile tugging around the corner of his mouth. "You spoke to your dad, didn't you?"

I bristled. "So what if I did? It _was_ your idea."

"And you didn't trust what I'd said."

"I – " I didn't have an answer for him. Or not one I wanted to give anyway.

Gippal pushed away from doorframe and came across to me. "Rikku – it's okay."

"No, it's not," I said unhappily. "How are we supposed to do this if I don't trust you?"

"Well at least we're finally being honest with each other."

"This isn't funny Gippal!"

"Do you see me laughin'?"

"I see you joking around!"

"Rikku, I always joke around. If I didn't, I'd've gone mad years ago."

"What makes you think you haven't?" I muttered.

We stared at each other, both surprised, I think, by the turn our conversation had taken. Then Gippal shook his head, and I giggled, and just like that, the tension shattered and we were laughing like a pair of kids.

When we'd calmed down again, I was sitting on the floor with my back against the wall and my legs stretched out. Gippal was sprawled beside me, his head resting on his hand. It felt like things were almost back to normal between us; for the first time in months, the shadow of Lreav had receded and I thought that maybe we could make this work again.

"Where are we?"

An abstract question, but I knew what Gippal meant. I'd been wondering the same thing. "I'm not sure."

He traced a line in the carpet with one finger. "I didn't lie to you Rikku. I might have … not told you a couple of things, but I never lied to you."

"I know that now."

"But you still don't trust me." It wasn't a question.

I looked down at my legs, pale against the carpet. "I want to. I just …"

He blew out his breath explosively. "Man, Lreav really screwed everythin' up, didn't he?"

Lreav. A flash of white snow and pain and blood – I shoved the memory away.

"I don't know if I've ever said this, but … I'm sorry. For gettin' you involved. For makin' you care about Lreav. Ah hell, for pretty much everythin'. If I could have protected you from it, I would have."

"Gippal … it wasn't your fault. Not all of it anyway."

"Not all of …?" He smiled. "You know, I'm likin' this whole honesty thing we got going on."

"Works for me." I poked him playfully with my foot.

Gippal rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Okay, so in the spirit of honesty …" I took a deep breath, "… here goes. I don't blame you for what happened. And I should have believed you about Juyane – I shouldn't have had to ask my dad about it. And I guess … I guess I've been fixing all of this on you because I … because of Lreav." _Because I feel guilty._

"About what happened –"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe that means you should."

"Don't do that, Gippal – don't try and analyse what I'm thinking. You have _no _idea what I'm thinking."

He sat up, hands held in a defensive position. I immediately felt like a jerk; he'd touched a nerve, but wasn't this whole experience about being honest and open?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He nudged me with his shoulder. "Honesty, remember? Besides, I'm used to gettin' yelled at by you."

I gave him a small smile. "Touché."

We sat in silence for a moment and then Gippal cleared his throat. "You know … we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Gippal, I _killed_ someone. I don't even know where to start." I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. "Everything is such a mess."

"You feel … guilty? Like if you'd just done things differently, then maybe everythin' would have worked out. Maybe you wouldn't have had to kill him …?"

My eyes snapped open. "You're doing it again – that's not what I – how do you even –"

"_Know_? Spira, Rikku, do you think you're the only one who feels like that about Lreav?"

"But I thought you hated …" I trailed off, staring at him. It had never occurred to me how Gippal might feel about all of this. Or hell, someone like Elhandra. My guilt and shame and self-recrimination had overshadowed all of that until I couldn't see beyond it. Until it overwhelmed me.

Well, I guess you could add "selfishness" to that list now too.

"Yeah, I hated Lreav. _Now_. But before that, back when we were at Kilika … I might not have pushed him off the temple, but I sure as hell put his feet on the path." He shrugged his shoulders. "I felt guilty about that for the longest time."

"Even though it wasn't your fault ...?"

He gave me a significant look, raised eyebrows and all. I rolled my eyes. "Smart ass."

Sitting there, talking so casually about all the terrible things that had happened … it was really surreal. Crazy even, that we could both do this. Yet somehow, it just worked. And for the first time, I felt that I was able to open up and Lreav and what I'd done.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" I asked at length. "Like … intentionally?"

"You mean you can do it accidentally?"

I brushed off his flippancy. "I'm serious, Gippal."

"Serious, okay. Well then … yeah, I've killed someone before. Intentionally."

Even though I'd asked, the ease with which he admitted it surprised me. Killing Lreav was such a big deal to me … while Gippal's admission sounded so blasé.

Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face because he added, "It was years ago now. Time … it kinda gives you a new perspective on things."

"Really?"

"Don't get me wrong – it never makes it okay. But it just … gets easier."

"You promise?"

There was an odd, wistful note in my voice that Gippal picked up on. He sat forward and slung his arm around my shoulders. "Yeah. I promise."

"And the guilt?"

"That too."

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I hope you're right."

He ruffled my hair with his free hand. "I know I am."

Something about the way in which he said it – the quiet confidence of his words – made me feel better. Made me feel that he was right; that things would get easier. I grabbed onto that feeling with both hands and hugged it to me, relishing in its warmth and comfort.

Silence fell between us. My head lolled against Gippal's shoulder and his fingers played restlessly with the ends one of my braids. It was … comfortable, just being with him. Familiar, despite all our problems. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed having his warm presence beside me – and the realisation of how close I'd come to losing it forever made me shiver and curse Lreav all over again.

Gippal tightened his grip around my shoulders in response and pressed an absent-minded kiss against my forehead. The touch of his lips against my skin made me start and pull back slightly. It had been so long since we'd had any kind of intimate contact that I wasn't sure how to react.

Gippal obviously noticed my reluctance because he smiled ruefully. "You still needin' some more time?"

He made to move away and I panicked, grabbing his arm. "No! No – don't go. Just – just stay. Please."

He arched an eyebrow. "You sure?"

I knew all his hesitancy was down to me and how I'd been acting recently, but suddenly it made me want to scream. Couldn't he see how much I needed him right now?

I took a moment to swallow my anger and force myself to think clearly. After all, I had been giving Gippal mixed messages recently, and it was a _bit_ unfair that I was now expecting him to read my mind. So maybe I should spell things out for him.

So I took his chin in my hand, turned his head around to face me and very deliberately pressed my lips against his. It wasn't much of a kiss – brief and almost chaste – and it obviously surprised him, because he rocked back on his heels.

"Can't say that wasn't nice, but –"

"I know." I suddenly felt horribly confused and embarrassed. What was I thinking? I'd said I didn't trust him – and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't, not completely, Not yet. But now I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving either, of being without him, and then there was Lreav's voice in my head, and Juyane, mixing everything up -

He tried again, sounding frustrated. "Rikku … I don't know what you want from me."

"I know," I repeated, clambering to my feet to put some distance between us. "And I'm sorry, I just – I thought I had everything straightened out in my mind, but it's not and I – I don't know what to think. Spira, I thought talking to you would make things better, but I still feel so bad about Lreav and you –" I turned my back on him and hugged myself. "I don't know what to do about _this_. About us. I don't know – I don't know how to fix it and make everything better, you know? But I just – I just need you here, Gippal. I can't – I don't want to go through this alone anymore. I _need_ you."

There it was – my vulnerability. Out in the open for all to see. But instead of laughing, or making some kind of lame wisecrack, as I might have expected from Gippal, he was silent. Then I heard him moving behind me, and a few moments later he slid his arms around my waist from behind. I stiffened almost automatically.

"I'm not goin' anywhere." His breath tickled my cheek. "You got that? Even if you send me away, or refuse to see me or somethin' crazy like that. 'Cos this is important to me and I'm not gonna let Lreav win by chuckin' it away with a fight."

He didn't say the words – _because I love you_ – but he didn't have to. The sentiment was there for anyone to see and after a moment's more resistance, I sagged back against him, my hands coming to rest on his bare arms where they encircled my waist. And we just stood like that, enjoying each other's closeness, all the uncertainties and confusion be damned. There were things that would have to be faced; conversations that we have to be had, but not now. Now there was just me and Gippal and a relationship that looked like it might just have the strength to survive after all.


	26. Epilogue: Rikku & Gippal

**Disclaimer:** FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

**A/N:** Well here we are - the final chapter of Our Story. This turned out to be a lot longer than I'd expected, and it also wins the award for being the most edited/re-written chapter I've ever done (which partly explains why it's taken so long for me to post it). I'm just about happy with how it turned out and I hope it's a fitting end to the story.

Huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed/read this story over the years. It's been an epic journey and it's really because of your reminders that I've finally reached the end :) So enjoy the last chapter and maybe I'll see you for the third part of this series, some time in the future!

* * *

**Our Story**

_Epilogue: Rikku & Gippal_

* * *

I chewed on my bottom lip.

It was a bad habit; one I'd picked up as a child and never quite shaken, despite my dad's best efforts. A way of helping me to concentrate, I'd always complained. It didn't do anyone any harm, so why was he making such a fuss?

Besides, Rikku thought it was cute. She'd told me so, a couple of weeks ago. And in this, her opinion mattered a hell of a lot more than my dead dad's.

A spray of oil shot up into the air and splattered across my cheek. "_Cred_!" (Shit!)

Dropping the machina I'd been tinkering with, I scrubbed at my face with a dirty old rag. Further inspection revealed I just managed to smear the oil more effectively across my cheek, but at least my skin wasn't burning anymore.

I eyed the machina darkly and was about to give in to the urge to pitch it across the room in a full childish tantrum, when a voice interrupted me.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I looked up. Rikku was picking her way carefully across the workshop, pausing every now and then to move something out of her way. It took me a few moments to realise why; she was wearing a floor-length dress in a deep shade of green and a pair of dangerously high-heeled shoes. The dress left one shoulder bare and the slit up the side showed a generous amount of tanned leg. With her hair piled up on top of her hair in some kind of elaborate mass of knots and feathers and pins, she looked amazing.

I allowed myself a good minute or so just to admire her. "You know, as much as I appreciate you going to all this effort, you can just dress normally when you decide to drop by."

"You wish," she retorted, giving up on moving things and pulling the bottom of her dress up instead. Since this revealed a whole new expanse of her legs, I didn't really mind.

She came to a halt a halt a few feet away from me and let her dress fall back to the floor. Something about the frown on her face and the way she folded her arms across her chest made me think she wasn't just here to say "hello".

Her next words confirmed that theory. "What are you doing?"

Since it was fairly obvious what I was _actually_ doing, I guessed that she meant in a more general sense. As in, why-aren't-you-doing-what-I-think-you-should-be-doing. Since I wasn't sure what I was _supposed_ to be doing … I settled on the tried and tested method of saying nothing at all.

Rikku's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You forgot, didn't you?"

_Totally and utterly_. _Now if you'll just remind me exactly what I've forgotten _…

"No," I lied easily. "I'm just … takin' my time."

"Taking your – Gippal, we need to leave in a few minutes and you're not even ready!"

I wondered if she knew how attractive I was finding her right now, all fired up with her hands on her hips and - oh Spira – that dress. Another look at her expression told me it was probably not the best time to say something.

So I settled on something vague and, hopefully, non-incriminating. "I just need to get cleaned up. How long's that gonna take?"

She fixed me with the death-glare that had reduced old Yevon and Vegnagun to tears. "You are not making me late for my own cousin's wedding."

Of course – ! The big "re-schedule" was today. Yuna And Tidus Get Married – Mark Two. With hopefully a lot less kidnapping and general mayhem than last time, and a lot more alcohol and getting friendly with a certain bridesmaid. Yeah … no way I was going to admit to Rikku that I forgotten about that. Not after she'd been harping on about it non-stop for the last three months.

I fixed her with my best smile. "Rikku, just chill, okay? I'll go and get ready now."

"Chill? _Chill_?"

I gave her a lazy salute and slipped out of the workshop before her voice could rise any higher. Spira, what is it about weddings that turned girls into such monsters? Rikku had been like this for weeks now; snappish, on-edge, determined that absolutely every little detail would be absolutely perfect. And it wasn't even her own wedding – I shoved that unsettling thought aside as soon as it sprang into my head. It was way too soon to be thinking about things like that. _Way_ too soon.

When I ducked into my room I saw that my clothes were already laid out on the bed – by Rikku of course. She'd presented the outfit to me a couple of days ago, complete with a bright don't-argue-with-me-if-you-value-your-life smile. Apparently it matched both my eyes and her dress, and would, I quote, "bring out the highlights in my hair". To be honest, I couldn't give a stuff about highlights; what worried me more was what the clothes represented. I mean, when had we got to the stage of our relationship where she chose what I was going to wear?

Shrugging into the shirt and trousers, I made a bee-line for the bathroom and set about making myself presentable. It didn't take long, but I still lingered in front of the mirror, pushing my hair back and forth and generally just playing for time.

"Gippal!"

"Just making sure all my highlights are in place!"

I heard a huff of annoyance and sure enough, when I swung back out into the main room, I saw that Rikku had followed me from the workshop. She looked less than impressed.

"Now you're just wasting time on purpose," she accused.

I help up my hands. "Hey, I had oil on my face and I've only got one eye. It takes me longer to get ready than normal non-oiled, two-eyed folk."

I love being able to play that old disability card. It even managed to wrong-foot Rikku, and she's sharper than most. The best she could manage was a withering look, which slowly faded to something more appreciative when her eyes drifted downwards and she took in my appearance.

I struck a particularly obnoxious pose. Rikku's eyes flew back up to my face and I could see she was torn between the urge to punch me and the urge to laugh. Either good humour – or the fact that she was wearing an expensive dress – won out and she ducked her head to hide a smile.

"Glad you approve."

"Well I did pick them out for you, didn't I?"

Touché. God I loved sparring with this girl.

"Can we finally go now? I'd like to get there before they start exchanging vows."

Boy, Rikku was really developing that sarcastic gene. I was going to have to watch out for that in the future. And it wasn't like we were actually going to be late, by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, we were gonna be two hours _early_ if she kept all this up. But I knew better than to open my mouth and point that out and besides, she could pretty much tell me do anything in that dress and I'd happily oblige.

So I gave my hair one more ruffle, which made Rikku promptly rise up on her tiptoes and flatten it down again, and then offered her my arm with my best gallant manner.

"My Lady?"

Rikku ruined the effect by erupting into a peal of giggles and shoved me out of the room in front of her.

* * *

The wedding was beautiful, the bride was radiant and the party on the beach afterwards went a long way to healing some of the wounds that the last six months had left.

I kept having to pinch myself. Yunie was married! Actually I'm-going-spend-my-whole-life-with-one-person married. And to Tidus of all people! The guy who wasn't supposed to even exist anymore; who'd crossed time and reality to be with her. It was … well it was kind overwhelming, if I'm honest.

You know, if you thought about it, I was actually solely responsible for bringing them together. After all, I was the one who'd burst into the ruins of Baaj Temple and saved his ass from that ugly, spiky monster. If it weren't for me, he'd have been monster-bait. Or he'd have frozen to death. Or possibly starved. Whatever – I was officially the founder of Yuna and Tidus' relationship.

So seeing them so happy – so _together_ – it made me giddy. It was like a sign that everything was going to be okay. Life was back on track and I was allowed to start enjoying it again.

The sand shifted beside me as Gippal dropped down onto it. I glanced across at him, but with the sun sinking into the ocean behind us, it was difficult to make him out against the darkening sky. I felt his touch though, as he reached out and wound his fingers through mine. It was the kind of unconscious gesture of affection that I'd grown used to recently, but it still brought a smile to my face. I stretched out my legs and leaned into his shoulder, content to just enjoy being with him.

"What are you thinkin' about?"

His question broke the comfortable silence and I stirred. "Hmm?"

"You're quiet. You're never quiet." I could hear the teasing edge to his voice. "So I figure you must be thinking about somethin' important."

"Not really. I'm just happy, you know? For Yuna." My mind drifted to the baby – or lack thereof – and my smile tightened slightly. "She's been through so much. I can't believe they finally did it, that we're all here."

"And no one's tryin' to kill us."

"That too."

"Sure makes a change." Gippal blew out a breath. "Guess we have the big guns to thank for that."

It took me a few moments to work out what he meant. Since Lreav's death, life as an Al Bhed had been … well, _unsettling_ was probably the best word for it. While there was certainly plenty of anti-Al Bhed resentment still bubbling under the surface, Spira hadn't erupted into an all out war and under the careful guidance of Nooj, Baralai and Yuna, things had begun to settle down again. It wasn't quite like it had been before Lreav, but neither was it was bad as before Sin and Yevon had been dethroned, so I guess that was something.

"Oh I don't know …" I nudged him with my shoulder. "I think a certain Al Bhed might have had something to do with that too."

Gippal pulled a face and I laughed. There had been one amusing development to come out of all the mayhem Lreav had created: Gippal's world standing had been given a big boost. Apparently people had appreciated the painful honesty of his speech and over the last several months, the Machine Faction had grown in prominence and Gippal had become something of a poster boy for the Al Bhed. All of which had brought plenty of fame and public interest, but it had also forced Gippal to take on more and more responsibility – something that had filled both him and some of the other stalwarts of Al Bhed society with horror. He moaned about it of course, but sometimes when he didn't think I was looking, I could tell that he was actually beginning to enjoy the extra work. Not that he'd ever admit that to my face.

"Yeah, I keep meanin' to pin Yuna and the others down and find out whose bright idea that was."

I pressed a brief kiss to his cheek. "Just face it – the people _love_ you." I emphasised the word, managing to drag it out for a whole five syllables.

He looked down at me, expression shifting from good-natured humour into something … something difficult to read. There was a sudden tension in his body too; his fingers tightened around mine.

"What?" I asked. "What is it?"

There was a breath when I thought he was going to tell me, but then he just shook his head and tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear. "Nothin'."

"Oh _that _was convincing," I observed sarcastically, giving him another nudge. "Come on, what's up?"

"Alright, jeez, stop bruisin' me." He was quiet for a moment. "There's somethin' I wanna tell you. Somethin' I need to tell you."

Well that sounded … intriguing. Also ominous. Ominously intriguing, with just a splash of excitement - I was instantly hooked. I shifted around on the sand so that I was facing him and tugged on our clasped hands. "Well go on then."

"I can't just – come out with it. I need to … " Words seem to fail him – I wasn't sure I'd ever seen that before. He grimaced and shook his head. "Ah just forget it."

I felt giddy, excited, like a little kid. "No, no, no! You can't say you've got a secret and then not tell me, that's like – that's like some kind of cruel and unusual torture!"

He smiled despite himself. "Rikku –"

"I know … I'll guess!"

"… No."

"Oh c'mon …" I wheedled, "let me guess."

"I'm not gonna –"

"Is it … um, you've decided to run for President of Spira?"

"Spira doesn't have a president."

"Spira doesn't have a president _yet_."

"I'm not runnin' for President," he said tolerantly. "Now will you just –"

"Machina then – something to do with machina … okay, you've developed a machina system that will … that will allow you to predict the outcome of Blitzball games!"

"Why would I want to –" Gippal pulled himself up short. "This has nothin' to do with Blitzball."

"So not sports then … Ooh how about a communication device? That means you can communicate with anyone, anywhere in the world!"

"You mean like the CommSphere network?"

"Ah, good point."

He sighed. "Rikku, this isn't about some stupid machina invention."

"Then what's it about?"

There it was again – that pause. Determined not to let him slip away, I continued with my assault.

"How about this … you're resigning from the Machine Faction because you want to fulfil a life-long ambition of owning a Chocobo Ranch?"

"Yeah because we both know my abidin' love for the Chocobo." He shot me an exasperated look. "How are you even comin' up with this stuff anyway?"

I grinned. "I've had a lot of time on my hands recently." Which was actually true; I didn't have a place in the hierarchy of Spira like _some_ people. Since turning back up at Djose Temple, I'd been pretty much pleasing myself. "Now come on, _tell me_!"

"I thought you wanted to guess."

"Well maybe I'm running out of ideas. I don't have _that_ much free time, you know." Which, as we both knew, was actually a lie. "Oh no, wait – one's just come to me: you want us to take part in the next Kilika annual fishing contest, but you need some pointers on your pole technique!"

"… You're not gonna stop are you?" He sounded resigned.

"Not until you tell me what's on your mind." I tipped my head to one side and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. "You know, if you want some fishing advice, my Pops would be a good person to talk to –"

"I don't wanna talk to your dad. Ever. And this isn't … it's not about fishin' or Chocobos, or machina - it's just that I'm – "

"Ooh, I know, I know - you've finally decided Nhadala's the one for you and you're gonna run off a live in a little sand hut on Bikanel Island!"

"I'm in love with you!"

I was so busy congratulating myself over the Nhadala quip, that I completely missed the significance of this statement. Probably one of the most defining moments of my life and all I could do was blink up at him and say stupidly, "What?"

"Oh man, you're gonna make me say it again aren't you?" He ran one hand through his hair in a quick, nervous movement. "Alright fine, then … I love you."

And there it was. The words I'd been waiting so long to hear. The words that we'd argued about all those months ago on Djose Temple, when I'd spoken them easily and hadn't been able to understand his reluctance. My heart starting trying to beat it's way out of my chest and I almost asked him to repeat it again, just so I could hear the words one more time.

I'd imagined this moment of course. All fireworks and singing choirs and dramatic pronouncements. The reality completely eclipsed that. Even though it was just us, on the beach, in the firelight – oh Spira, it was absolutely perfect. All those niggly little doubts about us, about our relationship and his feelings for me, all my insecurities … I could finally tell them to shut the hell up because Gippal loved me!

I mean, I'd known of course. Or had a pretty clear idea anyway. It was in a word, a look, a touch. In the way he pushed my hair behind my ear, or brushed his lips across the back of my neck. How he smiled at me and laughed at my jokes and checked out my backside when he thought I wasn't looking. Probably as clear as day to everyone around us, but that still didn't silence that need, that longing I'd had to hear the actual words.

And know he'd said them …

There was a beat as I locked the memory of the moment away in my mind and then I grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and kissed him, hard. Caught by surprise, it took a moment for him to respond, but when he did it was hot and soft and oh-so-wonderful. Seriously, it was one of those life-defining kisses when the rest of the world just fades into obscurity and all that matters is what's right in front of you. All I could feel were Gippal's lips on mine and his fingers as they teased a trail down my spine; all I could think about was the fact that my boyfriend had finally admitted that he loved me.

When we drew back, we were both panting. My lips were tingling deliciously and I touched one hand to them, convinced they were actually trembling. I'd never felt like this before, so – so empowered. So beautiful. Like I was ten feet tall; could go anywhere; could do anything. It was intoxicating.

"Wow," Gippal managed, struggling to catch his breath. "If I'da known that was gonna be your reaction, I'd've said it sooner."

I shoved him backwards. He fell laughing, in a tangle of arms and sand, and then I pounced on him again, moving across until I was straddling his waist. "Say it again," I ordered fiercely.

He met my eyes and said, without a hint of teasing, "I love you."

The second kiss wasn't quite as groundbreaking as the first, but it came pretty damn close. Somehow he removed the pins from my hair and it pooled around my shoulders in a cascade of golden curls. I pressed my body against his and wriggled my hips, making him groan into my mouth. I felt his hands sliding up under the silk of my dress, pushing the fabric aside, stroking my thighs and I shivered.

It was my turn to murmured "Wow" when we parted this time. After pressing my lips to his once more – reaffirming the connection – I rolled off him and onto the sand, where I gazed up at the darkening sky. Gippal's arm curled around my shoulders and I nestled against his side, listening to the sound of his breathing.

The silence stretched out between us and I was grateful for that. There were so many thoughts buzzing around in my mind, fighting for dominance, that it was beginning to give me a headache. Thoughts about Gippal and what had just happened; thoughts about our future and what it meant; even thoughts about the past. About Lreav.

It's taken a long time, but I'm finally able to think about him without the guilt and self-loathing overwhelming me. After my conversation with Gippal in Bevelle, things kinda shifted. I didn't magically recover overnight or anything; it was a slow and painful process to reach a point where I was able to finally face what I'd done with clear eyes. Yes, I'd killed a man. And that was never going to change. But it had been that or be killed myself. I hadn't taken any pleasure in it; it had been an act of necessity. It didn't make me a bad person, and while I would never been convinced that it had been a good thing to do – like some people believed – I understood now that there hadn't really been any other way for the story to end. To this day I wish it hadn't been me, but I guess there are some decisions in life that you don't get to make.

Elhandra leaving was another one of those decisions, but if I'm honest, I didn't fight that hard to convince her to stay. Even before I approached her to thank her for saving my life, I knew that we were never destined to be friends. I could say that too much had happened – that between Gippal and Lreav we'd never really had a chance - but if I'm honest, I just don't like her and I don't think I ever will. I feel sorry for her; I can appreciate that she was a victim in this as much as anyone, but that's as far as it goes.

So I wasn't sorry when she threw my apology back in my face and promptly took herself off back to Bikanel Island. Relieved, would be closer to the mark – and not even for the reasons I'd expected. Yeah I didn't like her and yeah, the fact that she fancied Gippal was irritating, but she was … she was also kind of the last reminder of it all. I couldn't look at her without seeing Lreav, and being reminded of what I'd done. Having her _not there_ … well maybe it was cowardly, but it just made my life easier. And I think, after everything, I'd kinda earned that privilege.

Gippal shifted beside me, drawing me out of the past and back into present. I pressed my cheek against his chest and waited for him to speak.

"Sorry it took me so long," he said into the quiet. "The whole … well the whole thin'. I guess I could have saved us a lot of agro if I'd just come out with it earlier."

I smiled into the darkness. "It's okay."

And to my surprise, it really was. I'd spent so long obsessing over his inability to share his feelings – I'd built it up into this giant, irrevocable chasm that needed to be crossed – but now that it came down to it … it just didn't matter to me anymore. Maybe that was proof I was finally growing up – I don't know. But it just seemed that there were more important things I could be worrying about, and there was no way in Spira I was going to ruin what had so far been a pretty perfect evening by picking a stupid fight. If the last several months had taught me anything it was to hold onto to what I had with both hands and just enjoy the moments that came my way. So that's what I was going to now – enjoy the moment.

After all, there'd be plenty of time for arguing later - I was under no illusions about that. Life with Gippal wasn't going to be easy; we were both pretty fond of our own opinions and had no qualms about voicing them, loudly. Not to mention that Gippal had a tendency to be arrogant and immature, while I was equally bad in the thoughtlessness and insecurity categories. But rather than sending me running for the hills, I found that knowledge strangely exciting. I was looking forward to the challenges that our relationship might bring and even the conflict that would inevitably accompany them. Was that another sign of maturity, or just my own longing for adventure?

And did it even matter?

No, I decided. It didn't. What mattered was being here, at my cousin's wedding. Being free to choose what happened next. Being alive, and for the first time in a long time – safe.

And most of all: just being together.


End file.
